8/7 Instance: Creating Chaos

[Ferguson]

Timeline: Current, before 'Earthquake'

And there it was. A monument to all Eddie's utterly ruined hopes and dreams, somehow glorified by the fact it was paying this month's mobile bill. He sighed, hood still up, as he watched the mounting of this weeks edition of 'AntiHero' - guest starring the new character, Arcana the Mystic.

"It's damn good art, man.", the comic book vendor smirked, talking with a co-worker. Eddie ignored the praise, unlike usually, just staring at the girl on the cover. Yeah, Illyana didn't have a lightsaber katana or awesome plate armor like she was drawn to have, but he'd give anything to be with her.

Eddie mentally kicked himself: dwelling was doing him nothing.

Illyana sat with her jacket on, chewing her bottom lip and twirling a bit of hair so tight it might remain curled. Should she buy the latest edition of Eddie's comic? Was it appropriate anymore, given the circumstances changed? She glanced to the bedroom, to where she knew the box of comics were. It wouldn't be fair to not know what happened next... right?

She picked up her purse and drew a deep breath before teleporting to her usual spot down the sidewalk from the comic shop and began the short walk to the store.

"So, how does Arcana get introduced?", the clerk asked. Eddie suddenly snapped back to reality as the eyes of the clerk and his friend found him.

"Pft, and ruin getting another customer?", Eddie scoffed, "Buy it and read, shmuck.", he joked. Still got it. "Anyway, I need to be off, so I'll catch you later...", he turned to leave.

Illyana was just stepping through the door of the shop. She froze when her eyes locked with Eddie's. Now what was she supposed to do?

'We saw THIS coming..., Eddie visibly winced. 'Oh, fuck everything ever....', he mentally sighed.

"...hey....you.", Eddie managed, awkwardly.

Illyana quickly flashed her usual brilliant smile. "Hey... Eddie." She paused, her finger quickly finding her hair. "Uh, just uh.. comic day..."

"Yes. It is.", Eddie confirmed, for no apparent reason. "Uhm...", he gestured at the door, "I should...yeah."

"Yeah, uh, yeah." Illyana walked past him to get to the counter to pick up her reserved copy.

Eddie stepped for the door, hesitating as he tried to go for the handle. Was that it? He was going to just...go? "I-Illy, wait...", he closed his eyes, wishing that if there was, in fact, a God, it would make him able to find the words he needed.

Illyana handed over her money then looked at Eddie, waiting.

The comic book vendor handed over the comics and Illyana's change, making damn sure to be away for what he could sense was coming. Eddie gulped as he approached her, "Please, c-can we talk?"

"Isn't that what we're doing?" Illyana slid the money back into her wallet, taking her time so she didn't have to look at him.

'Joke? Joke, Eddie, it's what you're good at.'

"Well, technically we weren't until you said that so...", Eddie smirked a little, trying for a response with all the ambition of a train trying to make it through a needle hole.

Illyana couldn't even give him a weak smile for that. She did glance up at him once her money was safely tucked away.

Eddie's face fell at her lack of reaction. "Say something, please? I feel like I've ruined everything..."

"Eddie... I know what you hoped would happen, but what did you really expect would happen? It's not exactly something you just blurt out."

His heart froze at the words. "W-well...maybe it was stupid but...how could I lie to you?", Eddie took a deep breath. "What can I say? I'm sorry about how I feel? I can hardly help it."

"Put yourself in my shoes for a second - what would you have done?"

"I don't know..." Illyana admitted, feeling defeated.

"And you think, what, I DID know?", Eddie went on. "I did what I felt was right; and I d-...I don't see why you reacted so badly."

"I-I mean...I mean, I know it must be unexpected.", he continued suddenly, to cover any ambiguation, "But...well...why did you take it like that?"

"So this is my fault?!" Illyana crossed her arms across her chest.

Eddie shook his head, "N-no, no: that's you twisting my words.", he sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hand. "It isn't a case of fault, and forgive me for this but it seems like you're looking for a reason to be pissed off!"

"You never told me how you felt.", Eddie pointed out, only just realizing such himself.

"It doesn't matter how I feel." Illyana sighed, frustrated.

"That's all that should matter...", Eddie frowned. "Look, tell me the truth, it's all I ask and...", he took a deep breath, boy this was going to be difficult. "I promise you if you want me to, I will leave you alone forever."

"Eddie, you're my friend... I don't want you out of my life."

"I asked you how you felt about me.", Eddie reminded her, "I would literally do anything for you, and...if you want me to I'll just be your friend but...I have to know, if there's even a chance..."

'We...what?', Eddie winced again. 'Now is NOT the time!'

Illyana placed a gentle hand on Eddie's arm. "Eddie... suppose just for a moment that I did feel the same way about you that you do about me. What kind of person would that make me to leave my fiancee? And who is to say I wouldn't do that again to you?"

"I...I don't know, do you?", Eddie asked, looking around, as if to find the answer in the DC Comics section. "And to be honest, I don't know! I didn't exactly think it through that far!"

"All I DO know is that I love you!"

Ah, hell. That had earned a quick glance from the comic book store vendor, who met Eddie's eyes and averted his own.

Illyana drew her hand back quickly. She didn't know what to say to him now. Illyana sighed and leaned back against the counter, overwhelmed with everything.

Eddie paused for a while, waiting on Illyana's response. "...I can wait: this guy gets paid by the hour off my salary.", he tried to joke, gesturing at 'Comic-Book Guy's Assistant', re-stocking the Manga section.

"Eddie... why do you want to know so badly? What will it change to know?"

"Does he do this to you?", Eddie replied after a few moments, "It's like you're kept in this gilded lockbox, even now you can't express your feelings. I want to know because....", he thought for a moment, how to put this...

"I want you to be honest with how you feel: it's the right thing to do! I....", he stopped. There was nothing more he could say to push what he was meaning to.

"What do you mean a 'gilded lockbox'? You think I can't do anything I want, whenever I want? I know he tries to hide things from me. It's not that hard to pick up a newspaper and read it for myself. I'm a damn..." Illyana glanced at the worker, then whispered more carefully, "a damn teleporter. I can leave at any time so don't act like I'm a prisoner."

"I am with Pietro because I want to be and I choose to be and I love HIM so it doesn't matter that I like you because I already... decided..." Illyana realized what she just admitted.

"See what I mean?", Eddie said, gesturing at her. "Physically you can do what you like, it's up here...", Eddie pointed at her head, "...that's where you're stuck, it seems."

"Come on, he hates my comic for starters. He hates you hanging out with friends, specifically me, and that's before I even knew how I felt!", Eddie persisted, he'd started now, no sense in backing up; "Yes, he cares, but he smothers you and hides you away like a commodity."

"And...", he stopped for a breath. "...and I can see why: you're perfect. But I wouldn't say this if I didn't think there was something bigger between us, that there was something you were missing out on in life, even if that doesn't include me."

"He doesn't mind if I hang out with friends. When friends cross the line he gets upset as any good boyfriend would. I would be more concerned if he didn't care at all! And I told you how I felt and it just made you more angry. I'm not perfect! I'm just me! Pietro is a good guy. We have the same goals in life, similar interests. Can you say the same about US, Eddie?"

Eddie stopped dead. And what could he say to that? Family? Kids one day? Marriage? He'd never given it much thought, truth be told; he was always scar-...

"I was always scared I'd end up like my Father.", Eddie confessed. Jesus, he'd never told that to anyone. "Love and family got my Mother an early ticket to a private grave and I..."

He felt tears well up and wiped one away. "You're right, aren't you? He's perfect and I...who am I kidding; I'm Edward Charles Brock."

Illyana pulled Eddie into a tight hug. "Do not sell yourself short, Eddie. You are very important to me and you are not your father anymore than he is his father. If you want love and family, you can get it." She paused a moment. "He's not perfect either. Nobody is."

Eddie sunk into her arms, tears still coming. "You...you just have no idea how much I feel for you...and I...", he closed his eyes tight, "...I don't want you to go."

Illyana couldn't help but notice how nice it was in his arms. She shoved that thought aside. "I want to help you find somebody that is a perfect match for you, Eddie."

"I've been looking my whole life, and the moment I stopped, I met you.", Eddie said, backing off to look at her face. "And...", he laughed dryly, "..it's the story of my life! Everything I touch turns to dust."

He held her close again, just quickly. "Maybe things would be better without me..."

"No. No they wouldn't." Illyana held Eddie tightly, resting her head against his chest.

"I can't...", Eddie sighed, squeezing her gently. "...I don't know what to do."

"Just be you, Eddie. You're amazing and don't even know it."

"Being me means loving you.", Eddie stressed. "How can I watch you marry someone else knowing there's even a slight chance this feeling's mutual?"

"What would you do?"

"That's why I wasn't going to say anything... I wanted to tell you there was nothing there."

"You could lie to yourself about something so important?", Eddie looked at her, "I can't. I physically can't."

'We can't let her go. We shouldn't HAVE to!'

"It would be lying to you... so that you could move on and be happy with somebody else." Illyana admitted softly.

"We d-...!", Eddie started, shaking his head. 'Get out.' "I don't want anyone else!"

"But Why?! Why am I so special that you just won't move on!? I'm not that special or great. I'm just ME!"

"That's all you'd ever need to be!", Eddie looked her in the eyes, "You're YOU. That makes you special!"

"Do you really have no idea how much I believe that?", he asked.

"No..." Why would he? She was trying to lie to him to get him to move on. She wasn't wonderful.

"You care enough to do that for me? To live with that burden?", Eddie listed, "Hell, you were there for me when everyone else thought I was just a binge-drinking jerk: you believe in me."

"You helped me battle the...whatever the hell it is inside my head.", he said in a low voice.

"And I always will, Eddie." Illyana looked up at him, once again overwhelmed by all that she was feeling.

Eddie shook his head, would she? Probably not if Pietro had anything to say about it. Ah, 'Pietro'. That made the voice in his head scream in rage. "...will you?"

"Eddie, I promise you. I will always be there for you. You are important to me. Don't you get that?"

"Yes but...", Eddie shook his head, "I can't just 'not' love you. How does a friendship work like that?"

"I don't know..." Illyana looked away. She was causing him more pain than had she just lied.

Eddie braced himself for his next words. "Postpone the wedding."

"What?! Why?!"

"You obviously have conflicting thoughts, right?", Eddie tried to be reasonable, "Hear me out: talk to Pietro and...search inside yourself for what you want."

He was just going to kiss her, but that wouldn't help at all. Eddie cut his eye at the vendor again,

"I already told you what I wanted."

He let go of her. "Then....I...suppose that's all I can say." Eddie adjusted his hood. "I should go."

"Eddie, wait!" Illyana grabbed his arm.

He stopped at the grab, turning to her.

All it took was one look. She was about to lose him forever. Eddie. Illyana kissed him.

...

Eddie motioned away from her lips for a second, and then persisted in their passionate kiss once more.

Illyana pulled out of the kiss quickly after that. Her fingers went to her lips and the severity and reality of what she had done sunk in.

"...w-what?", Eddie mumbled to her, suddenly dumbstruck again.

"I'm sorry." Illyana got out, trying to gather up her comic quickly. Her shaking hands made it rather difficult, causing her to fumble the book.

Eddie shook his head in disbelief, had that just happened just now? Like, actually? He just stood, watching her until she slipped a little. "A-are you...ok?"

"Yeah, yeah fine." No I'm not ok! I may have just ruined my marriage and I kissed you and NO I AM NOT OK. Illyana tried to smile.

Eddie saw right through the smile: who would randomly do that? "Illy, please just...can you just...wait a moment?"

Illyana looked at him, but kept her distance this time. "For?"

"'For'? Are you s-...", Eddie couldn't help but laugh nervously. "Level with me: what exactly was that? What does this mean?"

"It means nothing. It was a mistake." Illyana got her book and held it carefully.

Eddie sighed, looking totally dejected. "Oh. Of course it was."

"I'm so sorry Eddie." Illyana started to head out the door.

He wanted to stop her, he did. But he couldn't. "But..."

"But?" Illyana paused, but didn't look back.

Eddie gulped, but his mouth was suddenly dry. Why couldn't he find the words!? What should he say!?

"..."

Illyana took another step in his silence.

Eddie started after her. "I don't want you to leave again...please don't walk away."

"I have just ruined EVERYTHING, Eddie." Illyana finally admitted.

"Come outside.", Eddie placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and walked with her, turning and giving the Comic Book guy a quick wave. He just stared, probably as dumbstruck as Eddie was.

Illyana allowed herself to be led outside. Her mind and body seemed to be on autopilot, just as shocked as the guys were.

Eddie turned to her once they'd walked down the block a little. "Illy, you seem conflicted about all of this. Please, talk to me. What's going on up there?", he pointed at her forehead.

"I don't know why I did it!" Illyana couldn't help the tears. "I didn't want to lose you I was scared and I just made everything worse and I don't know what to do!"

"Illy. Illy!", Eddie held her shoulders, "Calm down, alright? Calm down. We'll....figure this out somehow."

'And let her go!? We WON'T.'

"...goddamnit!", Eddie hissed, as if talking to something on his shoulder.

Illyana tried to pull back just a bit at that. "I have to tell him."

"Then...do.", Eddie said simply, "But...well, be honest with how you feel."

"And although I half hope that's in my favour...", he added, "...I want you to be happy. No matter what."

I WAS HAPPY Illyana nodded and hugged Eddie again. "I'm still scared..."

"I'll help you. Somehow.", Eddie said, holding her. "I'll protect you."

Illyana nodded, still crying.

Eddie stayed holding her as tightly as he could, feeling warmer than he ever had before. He breathed softly into her hair. "Let's go someplace quieter, ok? We'll get a coffee or something and come up with a plan..."

Illyana nodded. She could delay telling Pietro just a bit. Just a bit.

Eddie led on. "Come on, sweet.", he knew a quiet place close by, quiet coffee and a chat, that'd be good. "It'll be ok, I promise."

Illyana nodded. The coffee would calm her nerves. Then she could go home... if it was still home after this.

Eddie walked quietly beside her. God, what was happening...he glanced at Illyana, fumbling for her hand.

Illyana couldn't do that. She hugged herself tightly.

Eddie looked away, putting his hands in his pockets instead. This was going to be difficult.

[Ferguson]

Aaaaaaangst

That is all

[Chaos]

You're NOT HELPING, Ferg! >.>

*hugs Eddie* That'll do, my boy. That'll do.

[TechPrincess]

Poor Eddie. :<

[puppygirl]

Dramallamallamallama!