Christmas 2017: Jeamie

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Slarti
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Title: Damn Not Given
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Christmas 2017: Jeamie

Post by Slarti »

<Jamie> Jamie balanced the ring on his nose while leaning his head back and spinning in circles on the stool. His eyes were crossed, watching the ring, making sure it didn't fall. Jean should be coming this way soon. Maybe he should text her to make sure she would come see him... He put the ring on his pinky and got out his phone. [Jeannie, come see me pronto. Miss your face and stuff.]

<Jean> Jean's phone jingled a happy tune, and she pouted at the mirror. There wasn't much to do in Kansas in the middle of winter (or at any time, really, she guessed) so she was playing with makeup. She'd mixed together four shades of lipstick and found a gloss in the bottom of her purse and now she'd almost achieved the perfect red lip that wouldn't clash with her hair.

<Jamie> Jamie spun on the stool for a few more minutes then looked at his phone with a frown. He sighed and got up to go make sure the pigs had enough slop then got out his phone to text her again as he tried to avoid the stampeding oinkers. [Jeanniiiiieeeee]

<Jean> When the phone started singing again she sighed, blowing her hair straight upright and watching it fall in the mirror. Ooooo. Nice. Yeahuh! I'm a telepath, remember? she sent to him, straightening up and adjusting her cleavage. Perfect.

<Jamie> Crap. He didn't remember. He tried really hard to block out what he was thinking about. Baseball, dead babies, starving puppies... Well then come see meee... He pouted mentally for her.

<Jean> Dead puppies?! She was not going out to that barn to see those!! Her face in the mirror was a perfect D: emoji.

<Jamie> No! Nonononono! Double crap. Piglets?

<Jean> Are they dead too?! OMG JAMIE!

<Jamie> NO! Quadruple crap. They're snuffling at the trough!

<Jean> She wasn't really sure if that was better or worse. Um... yay? Jean looked out the bathroom window toward the barn. It was snowy.

<Jamie> This was not working. He sighed and started towards the house, but tripped over a gallivanting piglet and fell in the mud. He frowned and looked up at the pig who was now snuffling at his face. "Thanks a lot. I think I'll name you Bacon."

<Jean> She felt his brief panic, and decided she better go out there after all. Bundling up in her coat, hat, gloves, scarf, and earmuffs, she floated out the door.

<Jamie> Jamie shooed the piglet away from him and pushed himself up to traipse inside and clean up. Ooor not. "Um. Hi," he gave her a weak smile.

<Jean> She met him halfway and.... "OMG! Are you okay?!" He was COVERED in ... was that mud or pig shit?!

<Jamie> "Yeah! Yeah, I'm okay. I'm..." He looked down at himself, "Covered in mud. But I'm not hurt." Jamie wiped his face on the sleeve of his jacket to make sure it had escaped the mudpit for the most part and went over to give her a kiss. Maybe.

<Jean> "Good..." Her relief was short-lived when he came closer. "ARGH! You smell like pig shit!!" Jean floated backward.

<Jamie> Jamie stopped short and reeled in his puckered lips. "Sorry," he mumbled and went over to the barn to see about getting some non-frozen water to wash his boots off. "You look really pretty, Jeannie."

<Jean> "Awww..." She softened and floated after him. There was no way she was touching the snow with her designer shoes. And Jamie was totes leaving muddy shitprints too. "Thanks... why don't you come in and we can warm up in the shower?"

<Jamie> Jamie liked that idea. A lot. He grinned over his shoulder at her. "Let me clean the mud off of my boots first." He grabbed for the hose and then saw the ring. "Oh yeah!" Oh crap. That wasn't supposed to be out loud.

<Jean> "Oh yeah?" Jean floated after him, though she stayed a safe distance from flying poop water.

<Jamie> "Oh.. Um... Yeah...? You know, like the Kool-Aid guy?" He winced at how bad of a lie that was and rinsed his hands off as quickly as he could then turned the water off.

<Jean> "Riiiiiiiight...." Jean gave him a once-over, wondering if he hit his head when he fell down. "Let's go in! It's cold as balls! Is Kansas always like this?"

<Jamie> "No... Only for a few months. It'll warm up in a few weeks. At least a little bit." He waited until she had looked away from him to drop to one knee and grab her left hand. "Marry me?"

<Jean> "ACK!" She was nearly jerked to the snow, and he had pig poop hand! EW! Ewewewewew! She flailed, and only then did she realize what he'd said. She stopped. She stared. Her mouth may have dropped open. "....what?!"

<Jamie> "Um." That wasn't what he expected. "Ma-" his voice squeaked and he cleared his throat to try again. "Marry? Me?"

<Jean> "Now?!" Her brain had ground to a screeching halt, out here in the cold, on a farm in the middle of Kansas.

<Jamie> "Well... No? I mean, unless you want to? I know a preacher who lives down the road...?" Oh! The ring! Right. He went to pull the ring off of his pinky so he could put it on her... But it was stuck. Oh...Oh no...

<Jean> He hit his head. That was the only explanation. His brain was probably bleeding out, right here, for Christmas. This was not a good Christmas! "Jamie... why don't we go inside..." They had hospitals in Kansas, right?!

<Jamie> "No! Wait! It's almost..." He grunted and struggled with the ring. "OW! Almost..." Jamie finally got it off and fell over with the momentum, "Oof!" The dupe blinked down at him and plucked the ring from his outstretched arm to hand to Jean.

<Jamie> Jamie frowned and sucked the dupe in quickly before he could make the moment any less romantic.

<Jean> Jean just stared at the dupe, wide-eyed. He had a ring. They had a ring. Jamie bought her a ring and it... wasn't bad? But... BUT! "Oh. My. GOD! Did you just propose?! Covered in pig shit?!" Rolling her eyes with extreme prejudice, she spun in place and started her float back to the door.

<Jamie> Jamie struggled to get up, but slipped in the mud he'd washed onto the floor. "W- Bu- He- ..." His face fell as he watched her go. "Sorry," he mumbled weakly. "Stupid Bacon."

<Jean> She could hear him, but didn't bother to turn back around, just holding up her hand to stop his muttering. "Whatevs! Just... fail."

<Jamie> Jamie finally used a pitchfork to help himself get up and he sighed heavily before trudging towards the house. Maybe having Bacon for breakfast would help him get over being dumped.

<Jean> Already inside the house, Jean was stripping her ten layers back off when she heard Jamie's rather loud mental pouting. OMG, you're not dumped. Come inside! Shower time!

<Jamie> Not...? Not dumped? Jamie was confused for about five seconds before he registered the fact that Jean had mentioned a shower with her. Coming! He ran towards the house, careful to avoid the pig pen on his way.
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