Summer 2009: Rachel

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel blew out a breath as she unlocked the front door. Seeing everyone before break began was nice. She'd gotten to see and hang out with everyone and Josh. Laura had offered her a trip to Florida, which she was still debating. She supposed she wouldn't have to stay all summer, and it'd be nice. Plus, she'd never been to Florida. Well, she'd never been to a lot of places.

It was late and dark...and raining. It'd been raining for the past few days, and this was the worst of it so far. She was just going to go up to her room and go to bed. That sounded nice besides the fact that Josh wasn't with her, but she'd be okay. Or she hoped she would.

She slipped inside the house, not surprised that the tv was on in the family room. Rachel crept into the room and took a seat on the couch, "Hey, dad," she said, quietly.

Brian grinned and turned the tv off, glancing at her, "Hey. How was your trip? Your friends? ...Your...boyfriend...?" Well, that was kinda awkward to say. It even made him shudder. Rachel having a boyfriend...it was kinda creepy. Well, not that she couldn't have one, but...it was just her...

"It was good. I'm really happy I got to see everyone before they all go home or off for summer." This was weird. She was in a good mood for a change. "They're good. TJ and Remy got married, and I got to talk to Liz. Oh, and Cess said she was coming to visit soon. Kitty and I hung out, and Laura invited me to come stay with her in Florida. And, I got to spend time with Josh..."

He blinked, trying to take in everything she was saying. Why did girls have to talk so fast? "Wow. That's good. So, are you going to go to Florida?"

"Umm...I dunno yet. I'd have to talk to Laura, and it'd probably be later in the summer 'cause I want to be with Josh and everything. Plus, I'd have to be back in time to re-pack everything, so I can go back next semester," Rachel shrugged, still grinning. "You think I should go?"

"Right," he nodded. Be with Josh and everything...what was 'and everything' supposed to mean? Actually, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. "Well, I'm sure it'd be a nice experience, and you'd get to spend time with your friend..." Brian trailed off, thinking for a moment, "Isn't Laura the one that...?"

"Fell when you were there?" At his nod, she answered, "Yep. I'm surprised you remembered since you can't remember anyone besides Rogue and Josh."

He rolled his eyes, "I'd know them if I saw them. And Josh is kinda hard to forget, sadly. Then, you're always on the phone with Rogue while I'm trying to relax and watch tv."

She smirked. She'd said the same thing to Josh sometime after she'd gotten back. "Please. You weren't watching tv. You know you were listening to my conversation--"

"Yeah because I couldn't hear the tv over your mouth," he shot back.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she got up, "Well, I just came in to tell you I was home, and now I'm going to bed. So, night."

"You? Sleep?" Brian smirked back as he moved to see out the window, "Huh. The world isn't ending. I think I'll stay up, and when the world ends...well, that's when I'll know you're asleep."

Shaking her head, she made her way to her room and changed into her pjs before crawling into bed and curling up. Wasn't the same without Josh, but she'd be okay. And, she'd get to see him again, and she could always call him or something. Rachel drifted off after a while with a small smile. She'd gotten to see her friends and her boyfriend and everything was getting back to normal finally.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and rolled over again, not quite sure she'd be able to go back to sleep. Waking up from nightmares was bad, waking up from nightmares only to hear it pouring rain was worse. Shivering, she pulled the covers over her head.

Sleep. Sleep is nice. No more nightmares... She pulled the blankets tight around her, listening to the rain pound against the window. Maybe she could go sit outside? No. That'd worry people. Sunshine... Shut up.

She took a deep breath and stared at the underside of the blanket she was hiding under, a flicker lighting the darkness coming off her skin. Rachel forced the power back down and focused on trying to sleep with the noise pounding in her ears.

Ben stood infront of her window, the rain pouring down on him. His hair was in his face and the water from his hair flowed down into his eyes and down his cheeks. Then again it could be tears as well. Ben took a deep breath and knocked sharply and loudly on her window. "Rae." He said into the glass.

A blast of thunder echoed through the night and then a flash of lightning followed secons after, lighting up his drenched figure in the window.

Rachel stared wide eyed at the figure outside the window, choking back the urge to scream at the thunder and lightning, as rolled over and away from the window only to end up on the floor.

Wait. He knew her name. Pulling herself off the floor, she stared at him for a moment, using her telepathy to identify him. Shit. "Ben?" she muttered, opening the window with her teke and ignoring the sparks coming off her.

"I'm sorry." Ben said behind the glass. He glared at her, not angry, but not happily either. "I-...I need your help."

He cursed at his stupidity, showing up at this hour and scaring her like this. She could've blasted him off the roof...maybe killed him for real this time.

"Well, uh, come in...quickly, as the window being open makes it really cold..." she raised an eyebrow and glanced down at herself. Or it could be her choice in sleep wear. Tank top and shorts. She made her way over to the light switch and flipped it on.

"Hey." Ben gruffly noted as he shut the door behind her, noting her tank top and trying to avoid her eyes. "Nice pj's." He walked around the room and nodded. "Good stuff here..." He realized he was procrastinating and slumped down into the chair.

"Rae...My mom she's uh..." He couldn't get it out..."She's like dying." He sniffled and sat back. "I need to do something for her, before its too late. I uh, I might need help."

"Um, hey," she grabbed some pants and pulled them on over the shorts, then a hoodie, and took a seat on her bed.

She blinked, "I...uh...wait...What?!"

"Well, my mom had a stroke." Ben hung his head. "She had a banjo, another one. I need to go to Boston to find it and I might need help doing so." He breathed heavily. "I looked up the guy who had it last, he died, but all his posessions went to his grand son."

Ben looked up and locked eyes with Rachel. "He's in the southies. I'm definately going to need some help. And you're the closest and best friend I have. I trust you, more than anyone." He said sternly.

Rachel blinked again, trying to process everything he was saying. Don't...Stop. No. Stupid nightmares. "So, why do you need my help? You can't just go ninja it?"

She wasn't even going there with the whole mother thing. Didn't really know what to say about it since she'd probably be excited to find out that her mother was on her death bed. "I mean, I just don't know how I could be any help, and I'd have to talk to Josh..."

"Well that's fine". Ben said. "I just...I need someone to help me look, help remind me why I'm there. The southies is a dangerous place, it grabs you and sucks you in, takes you over. I need to find this in time." He started to choke. "I-...I-I don't wanna lose her before..." he began to sob into his hands. God Ben, he thought to himself, you're a pansy.

"Dangerous how?" she eyed him as he cried, not exactly sure what to do. Well, and he was all wet and cold... That shouldn't matter. She got up and bent down, wrapping her arms around him. This was kinda awkward... "...It'll be okay. You'll - we'll - find it..."

Ben impulsively returned the embrace, crying into her shoulder. His damp shirt made him stick a little to her but he didn't notice as he was too emotional. "I-I'm afraid of South Boston. Its where you'll find a lot of irish mobsters." He let go and sat back, realizing how terribly awkward he just made things. "I-I need someone who can keep an eye out. I won't be focused, I won't be paying attention." He sniffed again and stood up. He walk

walked to the window, leaning against it to watch the rain drizzle down the glass.

"Afraid of mobsters? Ben, you have you're spider sense thing, super strength, and shoot gooey webs, you don't really have a reason to be scared."

"I know, I know..." Ben looked at his feet. "My head won't be in the game. I need someone to keep an eye out for me. You can read minds and besides Rogue you're the easiest person I can talk to." He gritted his teeth. "And I can't ask her to come with me on this."

"Keep an actual eye out?" she raised an eyebrow, still watching him, and resisted the urge to cringe at all the water in her room.

"I need someone who's seen the darker side of things before." Ben turned to Rae again and wished it was Rogue he was talking to. "Rae I need someone because I'm afraid all this anger is going to get out of control, and I don't want to do something I'll regret. I know you understand that." Ben said the last part in a whisper.

"This is going to get really dark. I'm not going to be Ben you know from school. In fact, I'm not now."
Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her hair. He had a point. She had seen darker things, done things she wasn't exactly proud of, but still...it was her. What was she really going to do? She wasn't any good at help, trouble with her powers, and even now she was doubting herself.

"Well, can't argue about that really," she frowned. "You're not going to scare me, no matter how lost or angry you think you are or will be. And thinking about it, you've never seen the real me..." She shook her head. Wasn't a thing she wanted to admit, but it was true.

"I'm asking you now, are you sure?" Ben crossed his arms. "I might say some stuff I will regret about certain people, try to do certain things I know I will regret, and I'm gonna have to visit a lot of bars...so I'm going to have to stay away from drinking."

He smiled as he realied he was basically asking Rachel to be his babysiter as he ventured into the "dark side." He smirked a little. "I'm no anakin, but it's gonna get pretty Sith down there."

She chewed on her lip, "I can deal. Drink, and I'll beat you upside the head with the glass." She smirked a little at the Sith before getting serious again, "Are you sure?"

"Some stuff stays with you forever, and you can't change it. You have to deal with it, can't dwell on it, or it will tear you up inside. I..." she stared at the blankets from her spot on her bed, "I don't want you to end up like me."

"Maybe you've been waiting for someone like me to come along and change you." Ben raised his eyebrows cocked his head. "I know this is what I want to do and if I thought I wanted Bobby, Rogue, or anyone else there with me, I would've gone and gotten 'em. I came to you because I knew you'd understand." He looked out the window.

"I'm not going to let this venom, this guilt, sink into me. But I'm going to need someone to back me up along the way." He pointed at her. "Bingo."

"Or Josh," she pointed out. "Okay. I get you want me to go with you...and I will, but I'll have to talk to people first."

"But...I have to be honest with you, I'm already doubting whether I can do this, whether I'm the person you should be coming to for this. I still don't have complete control, in case you haven't noticed the flickering. I'm likely to have breakdowns and nightmares..."

"And, I'm not...all that sympathetic. I can't tell you everything's going to be okay, or anything. I really don't know what to say to you about you're mother, and I can't comfort you. The way I see it, people die. Everyone dies at some point, you just have to keep living after it happens."

Ben nodded. "I know. I don't want sympathy. I just want help. If she dies, she'll die and I'll deal wth that when it comes." He squeezed his fist, holding back a punch through her window.

"But, I'm going to get that banjo, the last relic left of our family." No thanks to you dumb ass, he said to himself. "I just need someone to keep me grounded. And away from bar fights." He looked up.

"I think I can do that, though I'm not sure about bar fights...I kinda like being in fights and getting my ass kicked," she shrugged. "We'll deal with it if or when we have to."

"Josh..." she chewed on her lip, trying to think of a way to explain without telling anything, "He's...I dunno. Part of the reason I love him is because he can relate to what I've been through. He's been there, too, kinda."

"Well, all I know is whether you said yes or not I was going. And if you said no I was just gonna do this by myself." Ben bit his lip as well and thought for a moment. Finally he said: "If Josh is going to help us,

or specifically you, he should come then. Your call."

"I'll talk to him," she shrugged. "Well, I told you I'd go, so now what? 'Cause as your babysitter, I don't think I should let you go freeze your ass off outside."

"I am actually completely unaware of my current temp." He looked at his clothes and water clogged shoes. "I probably have hypothermia and am completely unaware of it..." He frowned. "I want to leave a.s.a.p. but I can't expect to make you just pick up your life and go."

He looked out the window again to the moon, now falling. God it was late. "Okay, look, I want to be there by tomorrow night. That okay?"

"We'll see about tomorrow night. If not, we can leave in the morning." Rachel chewed on her lip, "You can take a shower or something if you want. Uh...not sure about clothes though..." She didn't reall want to give up Josh's.

"A sweatshirt and some not wet pants. Hell some pajama pants even, I don't care." Ben fell into the bed. "It's best to leave in the morning...gather some sleep, let my clothes dry." He looked around. "Course...that's also saying I'd have to stay here, is that okay?"

"Um...well, I have a girls hoodie...and I can raid my dad's stuff after he goes to work later." Rachel scooted over away from the wetness, "Yeah, you can. I can stay on the couch or something."

"uh-uh." Ben shook his head. "I'm not taking your bed. I don't know what you've done on here with Josh, and I don't wanna sleep in it either." He smiled as he got up realizing there was a wet stain now. "Or..." His smilled flipped into a frown. "fudge."

"I've never done anything with Josh in that bed. You should be more worried about what I've done with Josh on the couch you'll be sleeping on if you refuse the bed," she smirked.

"Well then...fluffy purple comforter, here I come." he said. "Throw me the hoody when you got it, I'll go in the bathroom and change." Ben stood up and hugged Rachel again. "Thank you."

Rachel made a face and hugged him back, "You're all squishy and ew, but it's cool. No problem."

"I share my drenched soul with others." Ben wised.

[steyn]

Are they gonna go all ninja or are they gona try and ask for the banjo?

[Ult_Sm86]

A little of both....can't say we didn't TRY to ask!

[tears~fall~like~glass]

The window was covered in caked-on dirt and dust, fogging the view to the outside, except for the cracks in between patches of grime. Her attention was divided between actually looking out the window, squinting in an attempt to see the objects before they blurred past and were gone and looking at the window, the actual window, the glass, not what was beyond the window. It was weird, staring at the glass then out the window. The music blaring in her ears barely registered, the same with the person sitting next to her, sleeping. A sudden bump startled her out of her daze.

Rachel blinked, shaking her head slightly. She wasn’t sure whether she enjoyed spacing out like that or not. In a way, it was nice. She ignored all the thoughts and feelings around her, and her mind just stopped. But, the mind stopping was also part of the problem. She didn’t like to be unaware of her surroundings, especially not in places she was unfamiliar with. The bus wasn’t so bad, same people pretty much for the trip, but she wasn’t so sure about Boston. She’d never been there, she’d rarely been outside of New York.

Glancing over at Ben, she debated waking him up to ask what the city was like, but decided against it. He needed to sleep. He hadn’t slept well at her house, though the only reason she knew that was because she hadn’t been sleeping either. Plus, she couldn’t really blame him. His mother was dying, and he actually cared about his, unlike her. Rachel sometimes wished her mother would just die in a ditch or drop off the face of the earth, either would make her happy.

Sleeping. Maybe she could try that. No. She didn’t want to end up screaming and having a fit on the bus, but there wasn’t much to break. No, it still wasn’t a good idea. She could accidently project her nightmare or something, and then she’d have to erase memories once she’d calmed down. Sleeping, she supposed, was just something she’d have to go without while she was on this trip.

Rachel sighed and glanced at the device she was loosely grasping. Still a few more songs on whatever she was listening to. She didn’t care as long as all the other sound was drowned out. Another thing that made her paranoid about spacing out. She couldn’t hear anything, wouldn’t know if someone was sneaking up on her. At least if she was alert with the ear buds in, she had her telepathy and telekinesis. Maybe that was part of why Ben chose her. She was always somewhat on guard. The only people that ever scarred her were at school. She didn’t need to pay attention there, really. She was safe. Not really. The voice in her head reminded her of all the kidnaping, everything that she’d been through.

Rachel shrugged the memories away in favor of something happier. Hmm. Happier? She wasn’t sure she could think of anything happy at the moment. She was going on a trip to steal a banjo for one of her friend’s dying mother in a horrible part of Boston. Where was the happy in that? Because she sure as hell couldn’t see it. She ran a hand through her hair. Great. Horrible part of Boston, as if being at home didn’t bring up enough bad memories. Memories of buying drugs, doing them, coming home stoned, getting in fights. Her stomach churned. Blurry images, pieces of memories of overdosing. She thought about it enough already, and now she was about to get a taste of what it was like again.

It reminded her that she hadn’t gotten a hold of Josh before she left. He wouldn’t be happy about finding a missed call from her and not being able to reach her. Rachel had left her cell at home on her dresser. It was on, but she wasn’t exactly there to answer it. She supposed if he had enough common sense, he would know that he could get a hold of her whenever he needed to. Really, all he had to do was think, though he was a guy, so it might be a difficult thing to do. She felt bad though, felt bad for just trying to call him once. She should’ve tried again, or at least emailed him or commented him on myspace or something.

She hadn’t seen him in...a few days? Rachel hated how much it bothered her. She should be able to live without him for two days, shouldn’t miss him so much, but she did. Love sucks sometimes. She missed him so much it hurt. You went without him for how long after he broke up with you? You’ll live.

Rachel rolled her eyes at the thought and started to wonder how much longer they’d be stuck on the bus. She blinked and looked back out the window, becoming entranced with the shady hue of the glass and the objects rolling by again, letting everything fall away, quieting her mind and letting everything fall away.

[Edited on 3/3/2008 by tears~fall~like~glass]

[tears~fall~like~glass]

As they approached the stoop to Ozzy's apartment, Ben turned to Rachel and looked her in the eye. "This is the last time I'll say this. You're in Dorchester. This means you keep your sweatsirt on, your wallet in your front pockets, and please, for the love of god, don't show any New York pride."

He turned to climb the steps. "And try not to talk about sports with Ozzy." Ben added. "Specifically Baseball. More specifically the Yankees."

Rachel rolled her eyes as he went over everything she should and shouldn't do again. She'd been hearing it since he'd woken up and they'd got off the bus. "I'll keep my hoodie on, I don't have a wallet, and I don't watch baseball," she replied with what had became her standard answer.

"I'm just looking out for you." Ben said for probably the umpteenth time. "And sorry ahead of time, being home might pull the accent outta me." He rapped the door and pushed the buzzer that was the door bell.

The little speaker beeped and Ozzy's voice came through it.

"Yo." Ozzy said.

"Yo yaself ass head. Open the damn door." Ben smiled.

"Uh huh," she nodded, giving a shrug as he talked to...Ozzy. Same response she'd gotten each time they went through the conversation, which was like every ten minutes.

The buzzing sound bleated through the speakers again, causing a dog in the complex to begin to bark wildly. The door swung open and Ben held out his hand allowing Rachel in first. "Apres toi, or whatever it is."

Rachel eyed the doorway, the barking ringing in her ears. She slipped past Ben, "Why am I going first? I don't know where we're going..." Okay, so that sounded bitchy, but no sleep did that to a person sometimes.

"Ladies first. Be grateful, I'm the only guy in Boston who'll be this considerate." He let her through and then pointed up the stairs. "117" he said. They marched up the stairs to the first floor and followed the hall with the odd numbers, finding room 17.

Ben rapped this door and waited patiently. "Ozzy's cool." He said to Rae. "Just...different."

Ozzy opened the door and held his arms out wide. "BENNAY!" He cried. He was naked except for some blue briefs he had on as well as a pair of brown socks. "Whats up! OH hey! I see you got over Gwen pretty quick..." He said noticing Rachel. "Damn...young but nice."

She raised an eyebrow, resisting the urge to make a comment on his lack of clothing or the remark about her. She settled on, "My name is not Gwen."

"He means I got over Gwen, my last...uh...girlfriend I guess." There was a history there for him to fill Rachel on, but now was not the time. "And yes, this is Rachel, she goes to XU with me and uh, no she's not my girlfriend Ozzy." He embraced his old friend, disregarding his lack of clothing. He knew that his clothes were probably right behind the door and Ozzy being Ozzy took them off for effect.

"You sir ah a playa!" He hugged Ben and lifted him up. "I'd hug Rachel, but she ain't makin' eye contact." Ozzy laughed and turned around leading them down the hall. "Welcome to my palace!"

Rachel managed a forced smile as she followed him and Ben, "That's fine. I didn't want a hug. I have a boyfriend for that," she mumbled, giving Ben a you have explaining to do look.

Ben looked back with eyes that said I AM SO SORRY PLEASE DONT HIT ME. He followed Ozzy and noticed the lack of mess. "You gotta maid now Oz?" He could feel his accent slipping in already. Crap.

"If by maid you mean a hawt chick, hells yeah." Ozzy spun around a corner and picked up a pair of pants. He jiggled his way into them and pulled them up. "

"No one you know Benny." Ozzy said quickly.

"Anyway..." she gave Ben a look that said I'm not going to hit you...yet, "So, we're...staying here, and then what?"

Ben looked to Rae and tried to talk in her head, not sure if he was doing it but tried anyways. Didn't ask yet Rae he pointed out.

"No way!" Ozzy cried out. He spun around with a look of glee on his face. "Yaw stayin' hea?" He exclaimed, stressing his accent for no reason at all. "DUDE! Beer-Fest!" Ozzy ran into the kitchen, ripped open the fridgerator door, and pulled out a six pack of Guinness. "Drink it up Ben-Ten!"

she pointed out.

Rachel eyed the booze and sighed, glancing at Ben and answering for him, "Ben can't drink. He quit. And if he decides to, I'd be more than happy to bust the bottle over his head."

"Benny is she serious? You turn out like that shit-head step da' of yours?" Ozzy asked, eyebrow lifted. "Sir I respect your decision, but not your whip." He made a whip crack sound towards Rachel and put the guinness back. "So why're you here, seriously?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "Oz, I'm here cuz my mom is sort of in a perpetual coma-thing. I'm trying to find this guy." He pulled out an address on a piece of paper from his front pocket. "It says he's in the southies."

Ozzy took the piece of paper, read the address and whistled. "Good luck sir. That's a deep Southside Street."

Rachel glared. She remained silent, so Ben could deal with it.

"So this is a real place then?" Ben asked. "You gotta remember, I went into South Boston with you, and you only."

"Yeah, that's a real street. Thurman. My biggest suggestion is if you don't back heat, back something." He pointed to Rachel. "And don't go at night, not with her."

"Oh trust me." Ben said putting his arm around Rachel. "It's not her safety I'm concerned about."

She tensed at the arm, fists clenched at her side. Don't go with her. What the hell? Yeah, the only reason she came was to babysit Ben, and she would go where ever she damn well pleased. "I'm fairly sure I can take care of myself."

She could feel her nails digging into her palms as she willed the urge to change back down. No showing off. It could end badly.

Ben saw a flicker in her hair, on the back of her head and his eyes jumped. "Ozzy, we're gonna go and try and find it, a.s.a.p." Ben saw on clock on the wall taht it was about 3 p.m. "If you wanan grab dinner slash lunch though?"

"Sure thing." Ozzy agreed. "We'll go to Spike's Junkyard Dogs man." He looked at the kitchen table and saw a shirt on a chair. He walked over and threw it on.

"No need to invite my ball and chain though." He winked. "Let's head out."

She scowled, taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm down.

"You okay with Hot dogs Rae?" Ben asked her.

"Not really, but I'll deal," she shrugged. Josh had asked her about hibachi and look at how that turned out. It'd been the most embarrassing moment of her life, but she'd dealt with it...kinda...

"Well they have other things like wings and crap." Ben said.

She just nodded in reply to what he actually said and followed them out of the place.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel trudged down the street, following Ben, entranced by the sidewalk passing by under her feet. They were coming up on the apartment building. Hopefully this guy would be around, and they could get the banjo.

"So I talked to Oz about this guy." Ben said quietly. His hands were in his hoddy and the hood itself was pulled over his head, shadowing his face. The blue hoody's sleeves were cut to show his red shirt beneath. "This guy uh...might want the banjo for a price."

Ben bit his lip as he stopped at the building entrance. "I'm not paying for what is rightfully mine. I'm letting you know ahead of time. I don't care if its the pope himself in there, I'm walking out with that banjo."

"Okay, so we kick his ass and take it. No big deal. I mean, not like he has teke or telepathy or super strengh...well, or you could just take him out with a stinger," she shrugged. This should be easy.

"Theoretically." Ben said. "This guy is tough. I don't know if he's an actual mobster, but he's not clean either. He rus a club apparently." Ben opened the door and started walking up the stairs. "Not a good club either." He looked a the floor number system.

"We're going to floor three, room ...13." Of course. Why not 7? Or 10, 10 is a nice number.

"Most clubs are good?" she raised an eyebrow. Oh joy. Her favorite number. "And I don't really care how tough he is. We'll take him out if we have to."

Ben smiled as they reached the floor. He silently found the room and prepared himself to knock on the door. He cleared his throat, unneccessarily, and rapped on the hard wood.

"...Mr.MacCabe?" Ben asked. "You here?"

Rachel leaned against the wall across from the door, waiting for an answer. When none came, she glanced at Ben and scanned the apartment. "No one's there..."

Ben said.

Ben walked over to the window at the top of the stair way and opened it. He crept out, sticking to the walls.

Rachel frowned as she watched him and tugged him back with her teke. Her gaze flicked to a door that was opening.

She released her hold on Ben and pretended she'd been knocking on the door of this dude's apartment. Maybe she could get some info from his neighbor once they came out.

Ben said angirly. He bounded up onto the ceiling and scurried like a...well like a spider, over and into the open door. He turned to see Rachel just in the door way and he used a web ball to knock the door shut.

Ben stayed on the ceiling but surveyed the room. Ben dropped to the ground and saw a desk in a back room. Behind it was a large safe. "Bingo." He hurried over to it.

He began to grab its edges, pulling it. He beant some of the metal back but it wasn't enough. He turned around to Rachel

Rachel let her frustration seep through the telepathic link,

She scowled and used her teke to bend the metal back,

She took a breath, chewing on her lip as she worked on picking the lock with her telekinesis. Good thing Warren had let Liz let her borrow those locks for when she was bored in the medlab.

Ben roared. He hung his head and breathed. He watched her work the lock.

Ben looked around the room and saw a folder on the table. He picked it up and began to flip through it.

"Rachel..." Ben dropped the folder to the blueprint in the middle. "This guy has blue prints to the Boston Central Bank." Ben shook his head.

Only a little more. So close. She frowned. She should've had this open by now.

Rachel pulled the safe open and glanced back at him, "I told you not to touch anything, and so you've told me."

"Rae, even after I get this banjo, I'm not going back to the mansion. Not even home." He slammed the folder shut and put it back where it was. "Not until I put MacDickpants away."

He bent down next to teh safe being sure to look at her before he looked in. "That's that." he turned his head into the safe and saw the only thing in it was a large bag. Very large. It was filled with C4. "Oh shit."

"You're going back, even if I have to knock you out and drag your ass back. I'm not going to be the one who gets bitched at if something happens to you." She took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Well, C4. Lovely stuff. She frowned and got up, looking around the apartment for any clues or signs. "Like I said. Nothing's here."

"...Rae..." Ben stood up and looked her in the eyes. "This bank is next to a school. If he plans on using that stuff...what if it was our school?" He took her by the shoulders. "What if Remy or X himself were here? What would they say?"

He looked back at the safe. "This guy is bad. He's not good. He's not nice. I would never forgive myself I saw children died because I didn't stop him." He let her go and felt the world spinning.

"Look...this place hasn't had anyone in it for months." Ben stated. "Let's check teh bed room, if it's not there, we go to the club tonight."

Rachel recoiled from the touch, still irritated. She could be at school right now if she hadn't agreed to babysit. "Well, school has been bombed before. How do you think Essex caught the first group? And, Remy would be smart enough not to bust into people's houses before checking everything out."

"Yeah, I get that he's bad and not good and everything. You don't have to keep telling me. I do listen when people talk," she raised an eyebrow, "Look. We'll just call the police after we leave and tip them off to this place."

"Then, we can take care of him at the club later."

"Fine." Ben turned back to her, scowling. "But I'm not here to play X-men. I'm here for personal stuff. If we were doing it the X-way, I'd have gone and gotten Remy or Rogue or any of them. I need someone who can knock out a room flat with me because I don't have time to be stopping irish mobsters from killing children."

Ben clenches his fist. "Rachel. You're my friend. But you gotta understand, with power comes responsibility. I have a responsibility to my mom and aunt, but I'm not leaving this thug here with a safe filled with c4 and capability to get more!" He kicked the chair.

"I'll break his legs and leave him on the door steps of God before I just call the cops." He raised a finger. "This is the southies. They don't come here Rachel."

"I never said we had to play X-men. And don't start using Rogue or Remy on me, Benjamin. I damn well know what Rogue would say right now, and so do you," she was surprised at how calm she sounded.

"If you wanted someone responsible, you chose the wrong person. I told you we'll take care of him later," she glanced at her fingers, which were reverting to black, and balled her hand into a fist. "God doesn't work on me either, don't believe in it. So, we won't call the cops, whatever. He hasn't been living here, therefore no threat."

Ben said. He walked into the bed room thinking about how difficult she was being. Why didn't she understand how important his mother was to him?

Ben walked over to the bed but suddenly felt all his senses go off. He looked around and saw that he had, per simple chance, taken three steps into the room without stepping on any of the barbed wired painted to appear the same color as teh carpet. He looked down at his foot, hovering over a stretch of wire.

Rachel stayed in the doorway of the bedroom. No way she was walking into the room now, though she could if she really wanted to.

Ben leapt up to the ceiling. he said. This guy was sick. Ben scanned the room. "I don't see anything big enough to hold a banjo..."

He scurried over to teh closet, opening it slowly, waiting for his internal alarm. Nothing. Inside was an ironing board, three rifles, a few hand guns, and a semi automatic. Oh and some nice ties.

She looked around, eyes following Ben. "There's nothing. Let's go then."

"Yeah." Ben agreed. "Fuck this." He dropped down and out the door landing directly behind Rachel. "I'm sorry I got angry I just...the idea of someone hurting innocent kids..." Ben imagined choking Cletus to death. "...If we run into this guy face to face, don't stop me from hurting him, but do stop me from doing anything else." He smiled at Rae. "I'll let you hit him in the baby makes."

"Pffft...for everytime you hit him, I'd love to kick Ozzy," she smirked as she carefully slipped out of the apartment.

Ben rolled his eyes. "He's not that bad!" Is he?

"So you say. He's more of an asshole than Josh," Rachel looked around, making sure no one was around, and if someone was they didn't see them. She felt an aching at the mention of Josh but covered it up with a grin.

"Well, I don't think he's that bad." Ben said. "He's an ass for sure." He smiled behind her. "I don't think anyone rivals Jo-" Ben's senses went off and he grabbed Rachel and pulled her tot he ceiling with him. Two men were walking up the stairs. Suddenly all the doors in te hall shut.

she frowned, not enjoying the view from the ceiling. Heights sucked.

Ben said. He watched the men go right beneath them and past the doors, approaching the one they had just exited from.



Ben said, dropping her roughly. He lowered himself to the floor. "Let's go, now."

She glared at him as she regained her balance. Glancing back at the door, she sighed, "Fine. Let's go."

[Edited on 3/5/2008 by tears~fall~like~glass]

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel sat in a chair, head in hands, with her elbows rested against her knees, hunched over. She stared at the floor beneath her feet as she took slow, steady breaths. Her head pounded dully, like her brain was thumping against her skull in an attempt to break free, pulsing in time with her heart. But, she’d expected it. She’d known she would have a migraine afterwards, once the adrenaline slipped away and unclogged her mind.

She wasn’t exactly sure how long she’d been sitting in the same spot, unmoving. The pain in her head was still steady and her muscles were starting to ache. It was still dark outside. She was pretty sure they hadn’t waited to some indecent hour of the night (or morning depending on how you looked at it), just until it was dark enough they wouldn’t be spotted. Except not really. It’d been in broad daylight. By then, most people had been busy doing something where they’d gone. Out at a bar or club or something. Club. Reminded her that’s where they were going tonight.

That adventure should be fun, considering Ben was a recovering alcoholic, though he hadn’t taken any that Ozzy had offered them the whole time they’d been there. She would love to be able to go out and get wasted just to forget everything for a while. Forget about babysitting Ben, forget about the banjo and his dying mother (though she still couldn’t see why it was upsetting), forget about the control and focus she needed to maintain her powers, and forget the painfully tight feeling in her chest whenever she thought about Josh.

Rachel felt her lips twitch slightly but remain in the same position as they’d been the whole time she’d been sitting in the spot. The dagger to the chest feeling returned, washing over her as she wondered what Josh was doing. Bet he’s not breaking into people’s apartments. No, he probably wasn’t. He was probably sleeping or worrying about her. Those were the only two guesses she had, and she was leaning to the worry one since he slept about as much as she did sometimes. For what seemed the like millionth time, she wished she was with him, not with Ben or in Boston.

She wanted to be able to sleep, and she wanted Josh to be right next to her when she woke up from a nightmare. She wanted to tell him she loved him and spend her summer being with him. Not staying in some asshole’s home, whose name made her expect him to bite a head off a bat at any moment, not looking for some Irish mobster, and not breaking into this Irish mobster’s apartment in the middle of the night for a banjo that wasn’t even there.

Rachel shifted for the first time in a few hours, sliding out of the chair and onto the cool floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest and clung to them, not quite sure when tears had started to slide down her face. She felt awful. She was sore, hadn’t slept for two days now, in pain, and resisting the urge to “talk” to Josh because it would only irritate her head. It wasn’t like it was the first time she’d broken into a house or apartment, excluding her own house for when she forgot the key. Also wasn’t the first time she’d planned to steal something, and it definitely wouldn’t be the first time she stole something, so why did she feel so horrible?

She bit down on her lip, hard, to hold back a sob. She needed to stay silent. No reason to wake anyone up with her crying. Rachel could feel blood welling up from her lip, leaving a warm trail and a coppery taste on her tongue. It made her want her boyfriend again. He could fix it, make everything better, help her. The pounding in her head seemed to increase, so she laid, on her side, still curled into herself as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Training. Remy, Cess, Kitty, TJ, Warren, and her. Or that had been the infiltration team, and Rachel wasn’t quite sure what was left of it. She lost track after her and Remy had been captured. Cess, Kitty and TJ had been the only ones left until Remy, Warren, and her had been rescued. Now, Warren was gone. She couldn’t see Remy and TJ doing much more after what’d happened, plsu they had Johnny and everything. That left Cess, Kitty, and her. But, she wasn’t sure she was actually stable enough to do anything. The day Remy had taught her, Kitty and Cess kept coming to mind.

‘If y' get it right, y'll get a prize. If y' get it wrong, it'll give y' a little zap.’

Well, she’d gotten the disabling part right, hadn’t been shocked, literally or by the alarm blaring, kinda. That’s what may have happened if they’d stepped on the barbed wire. She’d been successful, finished the job. So, what was the reward? Guilt. No ‘good job ya’ll’, advice on how to get better, and no chocolate reward to enjoy with friends afterwards. She may as well have been shocked.

Rachel was fairly sure she felt bad because she’d actually been trained to break into places for a reason, cause, whatever. She hadn’t been trained to just break in to someplace to just take something of no importance. She didn’t get why he wanted this banjo so badly for his mother. Or, maybe it was just her that couldn’t grasp the concept because she’d never had an awesome mother, which was why she found it wrong to break into the place, found it pointless. And it was pointless; the banjo wasn’t even there.

The guilty feeling weighed on her, crushed her, suffocated her. The banjo wasn’t worth the feeling. She shouldn’t feel this bad over it. It’s not like they took anything. Rachel supposed it was the fact that she could break into a place for all the wrong reasons, and she expected herself to screw up like that at some point in the future. Oh yeah, Remy would be proud. She took a deep breath, silently. She was doubting herself again, just like she’d been doing since she was fifteen. Kicking herself for stuff she’d done, doubting the decisions she’d made now, and plotting how she’d screw up later in life. Lovely. She’d been doubting herself since this whole thing began, and at the moment she felt the worst she’d had throughout the whole trip. She had no clue, well Ben had told her, but still...she wasn’t exactly sure why Ben had chose her of all people. He should’ve taken someone reliable, like Rogue.

She wasn’t sure if she could watch Ben anymore. It was tiring, and what if something happened to him? Who was going to watch her back if he was gone? And if something happened to him, what the hell was she supposed to tell everyone else? She’d be responsible because she was supposed to be watching his ass. The only problem was that she couldn’t back down now, and this was only the beginning.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Ben aimed his wrist at the bouncers throat. His hoody was once again covering his face, keeping its featurs beneath shadow. He fired one single stinger into his jugular. The mans eyes widened and he collapsed.

"That shit's instantaneous man!" Ben exclaimed to Rae happily.

Rachel sighed, holding back a frown of disapproval and a mean remark. Just because you're suffering doesn't mean everyone else has to. She wished she had pain killers and a boyfriend to cuddle right about now.

"And where are we supposed to stash his body?" Too bad they didn't have one of Liz's suitcases. She sighed as she looked down at the dude, pulling her hood up. Heh, Sithy...

"For once I thought ahead." Ben said. He webbed the man's feet and pulled him over to behind the dumpster where they were hidden. He webbed his mouth shut and bound his eyes and arms and legs with webbing as well. Then he hoisted him up without even a grunt and into the dumpster, dusting off his hands once he was in.

"And that's how you get rid of a Goon in South Boston." Ben said proudly.

She shook her head and peered around, feeling slightly paranoid. Shouldn't have fallen asleep. "So, inside now?" she nodded to the door.

"This time I'm not kidding Rachel." Ben said. "You're incredibly tough. But be careful. Please." They went to the door and Ben wanted to kick it open, but instead he turned the handle and pushed it open. The music instantly blasted in their faces.

"Sounds like the bands hopping tonight!" Ben cried over the noise to Rachel. They walked into the strobe lights and purple discoballs. "Let's head for that." Ben said, pointing to the one sided window glass office above the soundstage.

Rachel pushed a hand through her hair as her ears adjusted to the noise coming from the stage. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't know this place was run by the Irish mob. She looked to where Ben was pointing and started making her way through the crowd.

Ben said, acknowledging all the pretty ladies who suddenly flocked to him.

Rachel chewed on her lip, feeling a stab in the chest as she grabbed Ben's hand and glared at the girls.

Ben said as he was dragged away quite forcefully. They made it to the stairs. He asked her.

She glanced around as she slipped up the first few steps,

Ben teased. She was right though, his heart was skipping beats. Ben nodded and let her lead the way.

she smirked before going back to serious. Her head was pounding in time with the bass, or so it seemed. Rachel continued to creep up the stairs, carefully creeping towards the door. Laying her hand on the knob, she turned it and pushed the door open.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

The room was empty. Ben sighed as he looked around seeing the empty desk, the portraits of famous irishmen, and a platter of cookies next to a couple of bottles of Bailey's and some Whiskey. "Great."

Rachel looked around and grabbed a cookie, sniffing it before taking a nibble. Didn't taste poisonous...wait...were poisoned things supposed to tasted poisoned? She shrugged and took another bite, "So, what now?"

Ben took the Bailey's and contimplated chugging it. He shrugged and dropped it. He could barely hear it smash over the sound of the band below.

"Let's just look around." Ben looked over at his desk and saw a closet behind it. "Dude, closet." Ben went over and opened the door, pulling on the cord to activate the light. He immediately gasped. "Rachel! Stairs!"

Rachel finished off the first cookie and eyed the stairs for a moment before stuffing a few more in her pocket and heading over them.

Ben said. Ben began to creep, avoiding the creaks of the stairs.

Ben said. He got to the door at the bottom of the stairs, Rachel right behind him. Ben took a deep breath and pushed the door open slowly.

Everyone in the room looked up. All 18 men who were standing or sitting around the table with the blueprint of the Boston Central Bank and Boston Public School next to it.

MacCabe took a cigar out of his surly mouth. "Wadda fok is this?"

She held her breath as Ben pushed the and the voices stopped, all but one. Well, he sounded lovely. Should be great when he finds his alcohol smashed and cookies missing.

he said in her head. "Mr. MacCabe, I'm...Benjamin Reilly. You have my banjo I think, and I was-"

MacCabe nodded to a man next to the door. The man clenched his fists, cracked his knuckles and approached the two. "C'mon kids, get the hell outta here." He grabbed Rachel by the arm and tried to pull her back up the stairs.

"Hey!" Ben shouted.

Rachel glared at the thug that had her arm.

Yanking her arm out of the goon's grip, she brought her other arm around and nailed him in the face with added force thanks to her teke. "Don't fucking touch me," she spat.

"Balls!" Ben yelled. It was go-time, and he really wanted to avoid this. Ben leapt up into the air avoiding a punch from the goon next to the one Rae had just slammed.

He landed on the ceiling darting three guys in a row with his stingers. He webbed each of their feet and dropped back tot he ground as each one collapsed.

"Wat da FOK!" MacCabe yelled. He pulled a gun out of the drawer of his desk and began to shoot at the hopping Ben. "Fokkin' A!"

She let go of some of her control, sending out a blast of teke that slammed a few guys into the wall as her skin sparked and turned to black, eyes glowing.

Her vision washed white for a few moments as the change took place, going back to normal when it was complete. About nine guys left. She ducked a punch and kicked at one of his knees, which made a lovely cracking sound as he collapsed.

"Rachel! I think I see it!" Ben realized what was next to MacCabe's desk, a large black case. A case for what looked like a banjo. He launched up and ontop of MacCabe's hand, kocking the gun out. He used web to bring over the gun on the first man Rae knocked out. He grabbed MacCabe by the tie and held his head to the desk, the gun pointed at his temple. "I should kill you."

Rachel took out the last few guys with her telepathy, ignoring the spike of pain as her mind protested. "Get the banjo and let's go then," she called. Sooner they got away, sooner she could go home and medicate herself.

"Just wait a second..." Ben whispered to her. "I'm gonna put a bullet in your eyes, and I'm gonna take out every GAH DAMN COWP who jumps my ass, because I'm a MUTANT sucker." He pressed the barrell to his temple.

"No. Now, Ben," she demanded as she focused on changing back. She really didn't want to walk back through the club looking like she did. "Get your fucking banjo, and let's go."

Ben shook with anger. He picked up MacCabe's head an slamemd it into the desk. He threw the gun into the corner of the room. "Fuck you!" He spat. He took the banjo and walked towards the door. "Fuck this city, I'm going home."

MacCabe picked up his head, coughing. He was furious. These two kids just took out all his best men. He grabbed the gun Ben had landed on and lifted it to aim at Rachel.

A shot of pain ran through his and as he pulled the trigger and the bullet whizzed by her head.

Ben dropped the Banjo and shot web out, grabbing the gun from MacCabe. He leapt ontop of him and began to beat him over the head with it. The two knocked the chair over and Ben was crouched on MacCabe's large chest, beating his face in with the butt of the gun.

"Don't you EVER!" He hit him in the nose. "Ever!" Ben shook with anger, his eyes wide and teary. "Shoot at my friends!"

Rachel froze as she caught his intentions a bit late, jumping as the bullet barely missed her head, "Fuck!"

Once she was sure no more bullets would be aimed at her head, she turned back around and ran over to where MacCabe was sprawled out on the floor with Ben kicking ass. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled back on Ben, "Ben! You're going to fucking kill him!"

Ben shook her arm off. "He's gonna kill kids Rachel! He's gonna kill innocent children!" Ben threw his fist into MacCabe's face. "You're a monster!" He kneed his groin and tried to jump back on top of him.

MacCabe sputtered and coughed up a tooth. "N'mow." He hacked. "M sorry!" He was crying now. "Fokkin kids, I'm sorry!"

Rachel ripped Ben back using her teke this time, "We didn't come here to save children, we came for that damn banjo. You have it, now get your fucking ass back down those stairs."

Ben threw himself out of her grip. "Fine!" He picked up the banjo and picked up the gun. He was so angry. He saw his mother dying on the bed, innocent children blowing up to bits, he could see Rachel being shot in the head. He twisted the barrel with his fist and dropped it. He was in shock as he saw the bent metal. "No way." He said under is breath.

She gave Ben another shove towards the stairs when he stopped to trash the gun. She chewed on her lip and glanced down at
MacCabe. He looked like he'd live.

Oh. Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled out the cookies, which had been reduced to pieces and crumbs, "These belong to you." She dropped them on his chest and turned away, ushering Ben to the stairs.

Ben began to sob as they went up the stairs. "I'm so sorry..." He said over and over. "I'm so, so sorry!"

Ben was led up to the stairs of the office. They opened the closet door and stepped out into the light, as if the reverse effect of Narnia or something. Ben looked up to see a man in the shadows, waiting in a chair.

He dropped the banjo and his mouth hung open. "Cletus." He growled.

[Edited on 3/8/2008 by tears~fall~like~glass]

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel looked from the dropped banjo, to the guy, and back at Ben. Oh joy. She got to prevent another murder. Maybe this one would try to blow her head off to. She chewed in her lip and stepped inbetween him and Ben, not sure it was the greatest idea...

She pulled the memory from his mind, so he could see it.

Ben flinched at seeing himself in his head. "If you can really read minds Rae...you know this guy is going to lose his head right now..."
"Ben." Cletus spat. "Benny boy. I heard about your mom. Too bad your piss ass aunt had talked me down from sueing her. She could be paying me and the hospital bills right now." He stepped towards Ben, ignoring Rachel. "Miss me much you little retard?"

Rachel shoved Cletus back into the chair and held Ben back with her teke, "Neither of you move," she growled.

Ben struggled against Rachel's teke. "What...are...you doing here Cletus? What could you possibly be doing here?

"I don't need to answer your questions you hopped up little monkey." He said. His tried to clench his jaw as he got up from the chair, but it hurt too much. To this day it still hurt. He pretended to have difficulty lifting himself from the chair.

As he rose he pulled a gun from under his pants and pointed it at Ben, firing a bullet towards his chest.

She didn't think she'd ever shifted from normal to whatever the hell Essex had changed her into as fast as she just did. Sunshine... She'd caught Cletus' intentions, unlike MacCabe's, before he'd stood up.

Rachel managed to freeze the bullet, despite the outburst of song in her head that made her lose focus for a few seconds. The bullet disintegrated as she turned to Cletus, her vision had gone white again. My only sunshine...Stop. Make it stop.

It took a lot to keep from ripping his mind to shreds on the spot, holding back as much as she was, was almost painful. Her head was pounding as the gun in his hand started to flake away. Don't wanna hurt anyone again.

Ben nearly shat his pants. What the fuck song was she singing? What the hell was going on?!

Cletus shat his pants as the gun in his hand began to flake away. He felt a few shreds of skin disappear as well from his hand, as if someone took a carrot peeler to it. He cried out and fell backwards in the chair. grabbing his chest. There was suddenly a sharp pain in his left hand, numbing it and spreading into his heart.

Her telekinetic hold on Ben loosened as she fell to her knees, her vision was still all white but now with black spots at the edges. "Stop," she whispered, completely losing any control she had before. Don't wanna hurt anyone...Sunshine. No. "Please, stop," she muttered to herself.

The rug under her fingers was slowly coming apart, flaking away, like ashes. She would've laughed at the irony of that if she wasn't being overwhelmed by everyone's thoughts. She could hear everything. Ben was in shock, the people in the club...they weren't suspecting anything, Cletus was...dying. She was killing him.

Ben was in tears. This was so backwards, this isn't what he wanted. She was supposed to eb helping HIM! He shook his head and fired a stinger into ther throat. Her eyes snapped open and he felt some skin on his nose brush away but then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell to the ground.

Ben knelt over and held her, brushing her hair out of her face. "Rae, I'm so sorry." He hoisted her up and stood, looking at Cletus who was now having a heart attack. His hand was gone and he was covered in blood, his mouth was coated red and it was seeping down.

"Sssshe's gonna diiee!" He hissed at him. "You both will die!" He was disgusting. He was pure evil, pure carnage. Ben shot a stinger into his eye ball and listened to him wail in pain as he fell asleep.

"Fuck you." He said. He held on to Rachel and grabbed the banjo as he walked out of the office, being sure to go out the same way they came in, the back alley.

((time passes. not like that ))

Sunshine. Rachel wasn't amused that the damn song were her first thoughts upon waking up. Shut up. Stop. Now. Forcing the song to the back of her mind, she stayed completely still as she pulled her shields back into place.

"I'll have you know that while you were out you were screaming that song in my head for about thirty minutes." Ben said. "And some other weird shit too."

"And also, I don't know what you think is so cute about Josh, but whatever it is I'm afraid I too am now going to be checking out his legs. And chest....and other stuff." He shook his head as he sat next to her on the couch, a cup of tea in his hand for her.

That voice. She knew that voice. Ben? Yeah, Ben. That was his name. She took a deep breath. What was he saying though? She couldn't hear him. Rachel cautiously opened her eyes, half expecting to wake up in the hospital.

The light wasn't as bright as the hospital's, but it still burned. Slowly, she sat up as she caught something about Josh being cute. "Josh? Where?" she croaked.

Ben felt bad. He put his hand against her cheek, unafraid of her powers. "Its okay. He's not here. I can call him though if you want..." He tried to get her to look at him in the eyes. "Rae, you really helped me back there. Thank you. I owe you a lot."

Rachel looked down at her hands. Black and glowing... She heaved in another breath, shoving the power back down. She glanced at her hands again and at him. "...What color are my eyes?"

She took the tea he offered her, not exactly realizing it was tea. She'd heard what he'd said, and the first things he'd said were coming to her now. She'd acknowledge it in a minute.

Ben looked at her eyes. "Uh...one's green." He said smiling. What the fuck was he supposed to tell her the color of the other one was?

Rachel closed her eyes, opening them again, glad once he told her both were green. She took a sip out of the glass and spewed it. "Ew. Tea," she coughed, making a disgusted face.

"You saw stuff? What stuff? ....Like, me and Josh...?" Yeah, she didn't really want to go there. "And what happened? Did you get the banjo?" Damnit. She hated not being able to remember things.

"Oh yeah. I got it." Ben said. "What happened was you nearly took off my head and you DID take off Cletus' arm. I'm pretty sure you killed him actually, but just incase, I sent one of my stingers into his eye." He winked. "Thank you again by the way."

She set the cup aside and scrubbed at her face. ...Killed him? She couldn't have. Don't wanna hurt anyone anymore...

"I..." Her head was still pounding, heart thumping in her chest. Rachel shook her head, "What did you see?"

Ben sat back and looked at her very seriously. "I saw a lot of weird stuff. First off, you don't have to explain any of it, my biggest concern swinging you home was you were alive and well, so I don't need to know about this stuff...even if you were screaming it in my head."

He smiled. "So uh...who's Jimmy? And was that Essex who I saw experimenting on Bobby and others?" Ben sighed, of course it was what a dumb question. "And uh, who's this guy I see giving you drugs?" Ben didn't to tell her the monstrosity of stuff he saw. It was too much to bring up now.

Rachel pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head against it as she tried to pick which subject was the easiest to talk about. Her skin sparked at the mention of Essex. "I-It's not my place to tell you about who Jimmy is..." That was the easy part. Now, it got harder.

"Essex? Yeah. I...you saw...the electroshock? And him removing the scars?" That's what Josh had seen, though Josh didn't remember it.

Her voice was starting her crack and her eyes burned with unshed tears, "He...He was my dealer..." Among other things.

Ben opened up his arms and pulled her in for a hug. "It's okay." Ben said softly.

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, still trying to block out the song in her head. This was awkward...kinda like when Rogue had found her the day she changed back...except Rogue was a girl. Ben wasn't...unless there was something she didn't know about him. "I want Josh," she muttered. Her voice sounded far too whiney and more desperate than it should to her.

Ben picked up the phone and punched in the numbers. "Here you go." he said, giving her the phone and walking out of the room.

Rachel stared at Ben's retreating form and looked to the phone, clicking the button to hang up, silencing the ringing. She wasn't in the best state to talk to Josh right now, and she hadn't even told him that she'd left New York.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel leaned against the wall, staring at the people buying tickets and checking times, though there weren’t many people around this early in the morning. Despite the lack of people, whenever someone walked by her, she kept expecting them to spare a glance her way, but it never happened. They just kept walking, like she was invisible. Well, she supposed it was kinda a good thing considering it meant she could use her telepathy, but it was still creepy to be there and have no one notice. All they would see was a blank wall.

She looked to the floor and back up at the ticket booth. Yeah, that was her problem. She needed a ticket, which required money, and money was something she didn’t have on her. She looked around the station before dropping the illusion and making her way to the line for a ticket. Ben had paid for her ticket to Boston, and she should’ve known better than to come without any money besides the dollar in quarters in her pocket that would buy her...well, it definitely wouldn’t buy her a ticket to New York. Once she was close to the booth, she started to nervously chew on her lip, ignoring the bursts of pain it caused.

This was wrong. She knew it was wrong, that she shouldn’t be doing this, that she should’ve just let Ben buy her ticket back and take her home. But there was no way she’d be able to sit near him for a few hours when she couldn’t even look at him. Rachel took a breath and slowly reached out for the man’s mind, covering it with her own, taking control as gently as possible. This was way harder than she thought it would be, and it was wrong. Her heart pounded in her ears, and the fact she was doing this left a foul taste on her tongue.

Rachel stepped up to the booth, which was really weird. She could see it from her own line if vision and his. The feeling made her shudder. She asked for a ticket, tensing. Was that what her voice always sounded like, or was this how she always looked? Carefully, she altered his memories to make him think she’d paid for the ticket he’d handed to her. As she walked away, she pulled her mind away from his. He’d been chewing gum. It left a minty taste in her mouth that covered the guilty one that was worse than eating vegetables.

She went back to her spot on the wall, covering herself with another illusion, another lie. Rachel stared at the ticket, studying it for a few minutes. She had a bit before the bus left for New York. Disgusted with how she’s gotten the ticket, she stuffed it in her pocket with the change. She slid down the wall, pulling her knees to her chest. Sunshine... She didn't miss the spark that flew from her skin as she fingertips transformed.

Stop.

Her hand glowed and the darkness froze, coming to a halt at her wrist. It’d be meeting the scars if she still had them. Rachel wasn’t sure when she’d gained fine control over her powers, but she wished she had the same control over her thoughts. Watching her hand, the pale, fleshy color started to return and the glow faded.

Stop?

Rachel stopped, just like it had asked. Stopped moving, stopped breathing at the reply. She wasn’t sure thoughts replying was exactly what therapists would call healthy... “You heard me. Stop. Now,” she whispered, glad that no one could see her. Her voice had taken the same helpless, lost quality it had last night when she said she wanted Josh. Rachel didn’t like it.

Why?

She also didn’t like how confident the voice - her voice - sounded in her head, like it knew her. Of course it knows you. It is you. She shuddered. This wasn’t normal. Sure people talked to themselves every once in a while, but she doubted they were like this one. “What the hell kind of question is that?” she asked.

Sunshine.

Rachel gave a sigh and sat back against the wall. Of course it wouldn’t help her. That’d make her life easy. She just had to figure it out for herself. “Hate you,” she muttered, not quite caring that she was telling her voice in her head that she hated it. That’d mean she hated herself right?

You don’t want to...

Pushing herself off the ground, Rachel made her way to the bus. She pulled out her mp3 player and switched it on, putting the ear buds in. She collapsed in a seat near the back of the bus and got as comfortable as she was going to. Don’t want to what? Blowing out a frustrated breath, she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. She should’ve just waited for Ben. Then, she wouldn’t being worrying about the voices and thoughts... Well, at least they were her thoughts, and at least she wasn’t sharing them with anyone.

Another reason Rachel wished Ben was with her and wasn’t. She wanted to know everything that she’d projected at him last night after the club, but she didn’t want to explain any of it. Even though he told her that she didn’t have to explain if she didn’t want to, but she didn’t want to explain any of it, and she owed him an explanation. The dealer. She wanted to know what he saw from that. It was something she tried not to talk about besides the broad ‘I used to be a drug addict’. No one really knew what went wrong there besides Josh, and she didn’t really want to tell anyone else.

The Essex stuff wasn’t as bad. It didn’t really bother her that much. Everyone pretty much knew what had happened, and who wanted to know the details about being experimented on? Rachel was pretty sure she sure as hell could’ve one without knowing, let alone experiencing it.

As much as the drug thing bothered her, the Jimmy thing was the worst. That wasn’t even her business. It was Josh’s, and it wasn’t her place to tell him about her boyfriend’s dead brother. She was dreading telling Josh about it, since she wasn’t exactly sure how he’d react. Part of her was pretty sure he’d understand after the whole nightmare thing, and the other part expected him to be irritated. Seeing her talking to Josh about Jimmy also made her wonder what else he saw.

Rachel let her head drop against the window with a satisfying ‘thunk’ that would probably leave a small bruise. She didn’t care. Her lip was already busted from her biting it, and she had a few other bruises from the fight at the club. She frowned at the thought of the club, trying to remember what happened after she decided to stand in between Ben and his step-father. She’d been holding Ben back, Cletus stood, and she shoved him back into the chair. Then, everything was blank. She knew something had happened, that she’d done something after that, but she didn’t know what and whether it was good or bad.

Rachel hit her head against the glass again. She knew it wouldn’t bring any of the memories back, but she could believe it would if she wanted to. Maybe, if she was lucky, she could knock herself out. She knew it wouldn’t happen, but she could hope. Well, actually being out cold could be a bad thing. Last time, she’d given someone a taste of how fucked up her mind really was.

Ben knew her, these people didn’t. She didn’t like the idea of anyone being able to see her memories, but if she had to choose, she’d rather it be someone that knew her. Though, if she did give some random person her memories, she could always wipe their mind. She could even erase what Ben saw, now that she thought about it. No. She couldn’t do that, not to her friends anyway, though that didn’t make if right to do it to someone she didn’t know.

You’ve done it before.

“That was different,” Rachel scowled as the voice decided to make itself known again.

Was it? You didn’t know them.

“I was trying to save my friends...”

And how did that work out for you?

“Shut up.”

That’s the only response you could think of?

Rachel could feel goose bumps prickle up her arms as she hit her head against the window again, an ear bud falling from its place. She felt cold, freezing and was trembling even though it was summer and fairly warm outside and on the bus. “Stop,” she muttered.

You think hurting yourself will make me stop?

She squeezed her eyes shut. Now was not the time to have a complete breakdown, nor was it the place. People were already giving her some odd looks just for talking to herself. Rachel was glad that she was talking quietly, so they couldn’t hear what she was saying. For all they knew, she was singing along with her music. “Better than hurting everyone...”

You’ve already hurt people, what’s a few more?

And what made this irritating little voice worse was that it talked in questions, specifically ones she couldn’t answer, or ones that she could but didn’t want to admit the answer to herself. It reminded her of Curry, and she was pretty sure she preferred when the voice was singing ‘You are my Sunshine.’ She’d gotten used to ignoring that song. Rachel pulled her knees up and wrapped her shaking arms around them, knocking her head against the glass again, willing the voice to stop whispering to her. “Don’t wanna hurt anyone...”

------

“Hey.”

Rachel sat in her spot near the back of the bus, curled up in the seat with her head rested against the glass. A bruise was forming above her left temple from where it’d repeatedly banged against the window or the frame surrounding it.

“Hey, kid...”

She was shaking. No, someone was shaking her. Rachel shifted in her spot, uncurling slightly. She shrugged whoever was touching her shoulder away as she dug at her eyes with her fingertips. Blinking, she glanced up at the blurry form, “Huh?”

“We’re in New York. Time to get off.”

She was in New York? She was home already? The blurry form slowly came into focus. Ah. The driver. She nodded, and he walked back up the aisle while she finished uncurling herself and sluggishly stood. She made her way off the bus, muttering a thanks to the driver for waking her up as she tried to figure out when she’d fallen asleep. Oh well, no one had been hurt. Too bad she didn’t feel better.

Rachel spotted the pay phones from where she was standing and decided that she needed to call Ben and let him know she was okay and had made it home.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel slunk away from the crowd departing from the bus and made her way to a pay phone, cutting through people and not really caring if they yelled after her or not. She was, for once, grateful for the quarters in her pocket as she picked up the phone and dialed.

He deserved to know she was okay. Well, she wasn't okay. Far from it really. She supposed he deserved to know she made it out of Boston alive. Rachel sighed as the phone rang, ignoring the voices and thoughts in her mind for now.

"Beeeeen!" Lucy shouted up the stairs. "Get the phone!" there was no response. "That kid..." she muttered as she walked over, picking the phone up and pushing the button. "Yello, Lucy's Sky Diamonds, how an I help you?"

She stumbled over her words as she searched her vocabulary for a reply that didn't consist of 'you are not Ben'. She took a deep breath, "Hello? Um...I was, uh, calling for...Ben?"

"Oh, well hello dear!" Lucy said happily. "Ben isn't here right now I'm sorry. He must still be at the grocery store. I'll take a message though, who's this?"

She frowned at the "isn't here", feeling slightly better when she mentioned groceries. It meant that he'd made it home. "Um...Can you just tell him that Rachel called, and that I should have my phone in a bit if he needs to get a hold of me, and that I made it home okay, and I'm really sorry for ditching him. ...I'll stop rambling now..."

"Rachel!" she cried out. "Oh honey! I'm so glad to hear you're okay!" Lucy began to write down the note on the back of the grocery list that Ben had forgotten.

Lucy smiled as she finished the note. "You know, I am so grateful for what you did for this family. Ben was able to play a song for his mother and only a day later they're talking about her kidney and stuff kicking back up." She wanted to hug this girl for being so brave. "He told me a lot of what happened, thank you for dealing with that sleazeball!"

Rachel held the phone away from her ear for a moment, "That's cool, and it was no problem..."

"No problem?" Lucy laughed. "Honey, you did a great thing in Boston. You brought Ben back, you handled that dirt bag, you helped him get that banjo, and most importantly, you were a true friend. Rachel dear, you're allowed here any time. And bring this Rogue I keep hearing about..."

"Uh, really...it was nothing...I didn't do much, just made sure Ben didn't get hurt," she shrugged. "Ummm...thanks, but I don't think anyone could make Rogue do anything unless she wanted to..."

Lucy laughed. "Well just saying, if you see her, bring her with. But I insist you come by sometime for dinner. When you're free. I hear you're one of Ben's best school mates. You know his mother is unaware of it, but I know of his drinking habits." She bit her lip. "He might spiral out after all of this, please keep your eye on him when you can."

"I dunno. I can see when I'm free. I'd have to talk to my boyfriend..." she chewed on her lip, "I'm sure he won't drink around me. He knows I'd stop him..."

"Well...I saw him smoking but I haven't talked to him about it yet...I know how upset he is with his Mom and all. You know he lost his father when he was younger of course right?"

Smoking. That would be nice right now. Too bad she'd promised Josh she wouldn't have anything drug related. "Yeah, well, I'd try to stop that...it can get bad..."

"Well, I...um...not really...Kinda..."

"Well his father died, shot really, and it was awful. Taken far too early." Lucy was chopping carrots now but she could feel herself getting emotional so she stopped. "Ben loved his father very much, and losing him was very difficult. He never really got into smoking cigarettes, but now I see him replacing one habit for another and I don't think he's learning how to deal with things, just replacing his outlets you know?"

She bit down on her lip harder, tasting blood. "Yeah, I know exactly how that is actually..."

"But knowing that there's responsible people in the world and in this school, like yourself I hear, it makes me feel so much better." She continued to chop carrots, brushing away a tear first. "He's all we I left if his mother never pulls through and I can't imagine losing him. So thank you Rachel." She smiled and sniffed, "Lord, I must sound crazy rambling on like this." she tried to laugh but it came out forced.

Rachel held back a snort. Let the woman believes what she want. She was fairly sure she was the farthest thing from responsible. "Trust me, you are no where near crazy." You would be the one to know about crazy.

"The only reason I know about addictions is because I was an addict. It started with smoking, and I went off drugs for a few years. Once I got to school, I replaced it with cutting. I dunno. I'm not as great as you think I am, really. What I did was no problem."

Lucy was at first startled to hear this, but then realized something. "Honey, for admitting that you have a sense of bravery that few people have." She looked at the picture of Ben and Rachel and Josh on the fridge. "I think that's why he chose you. South Boston's a tough place and just because you act, think, and walk tough doesn't mean you are."

"I'm not brave. Honestly, I'd rather go curl up in a corner and cry, which is what I do half the time. I know I'm not tough, or anything like that. I'm pretty fucked up and broken, really. Probably why I'm the only one who seems to think that what I did was no big deal..."

"Honey what matters is that you don't." Lucy wished she could hug the poor girl. "Whenever life has beaten you down and kicked you into a corner you rise back up. You keep your eyes open, head up, and feet on the ground. No matter what. I won't let Ben break down with everything that's happening and I'll need your help at the school to make sure he doesn't."

A thin smile came across her lips as she thought of Ben at school, pulling pranks or hitting on the girls. "I need him to have good friends just like I am certain he is for you."

"Good. I'd hate for him to end up like me. Rogue or Liz would be better at helping than me. I can't take care of myself, let alone help someone else. And yeah, he is a good friend."

"Honey, from what I'm hearing now and earlier, there ain't nothing wrong with you. Nothing some more life lessons can't fix at least. You're a good girl to stick through all of that with Ben, especially with your life experiences, and I know Benjamin appreciates it."

"I'm sure that's just because you don't know me, know me. But, think whatever you want of me...your opinion and all that or whatever," she shrugged. "Tell him it was no big deal..."

Lucy nodded. She knew there was no arguing with the girl, if she wanted to think negatively of herself she was allowed to. What she did for Ben said differently.

"I'll pass the message along Rachel. Thank you again. And chin up okay? The world isn't meant to be easy, so smack whoever let you believe it. I'd know I'm a pot smoking lesbian hippy, honey I've seen it all."

"I've never thought the world was easy. I'd say two suicide attempts prove that point. And, I'm a telepath. I've seen more than I ever wanted to," Rachel replied, trying not to sound as bitter as she felt.

"Again, no problem. I'm sure I'll call back if I don't hear from Ben. Later," she set the phone back on the hook. Now, to get a taxi. Should be fun since she had no money.

Lucy shook her head. "That girl,...Ben you had best help her for everything she's done for you. She's gonna need it."

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Cessily parked her little red scooter in the driveway of Rachel's home. She took off her helmet and made her way over to the front door. It would be sweet to see her friend again, and seeing that Rachel wasn't living that far from the school, Cessily was feeling somewhat guilty for not visiting her more often. She tucked the helmet under her arm and pressed the doorbell.

Rachel pulled her face out of the cushion of the couch to stare at the entryway, frowning as the dog started barking at the door. She pushed herself up, rubbing at her eyes. She'd been trying to sleep, though it wasn't really working.

She quieted Chance by locking him in her bedroom and answered the door with a small grin, "Hey, Cess."

"Hey, Rae!" Cessily returned the grin and immediately pulled Rachel into a quick hug. "I thought I'd pay you a little surprise visit. How are you? I hope I didn't came at a bad time, no?"

Rachel returned the hug and stepped back to let her into the house, "No, I wasn't doing anything. I'm okay. How are you?"

Cessily smiled and nodded, following Rachel into the house. "That's nice to hear." She shrugged. "I guess I'm okay, too. I'm glad that summer break started, so that I get a chance to get away from the school. I really missed you, you know?"

"Yeah, it's nice...well, not that it makes much difference since I wasn't at school." She smiled, "I missed you, too."

Cessily put her helmet on a chest of drawers near the entrance and unbuttoned her leather jacket. "Yeah, you have been gone for a while now." She paused, but kept on smiling. "So, what are you doing now? Doesn't it get boring out here?"

"Um. I just got back from Boston, but normally not much. I used to have a job and worked most of the night, so I was sleeping all day...kinda. Got fired," she shrugged. "I play guitar hero a lot and stuff. My dad's at work."

"But yeah, it does get boring sometimes. I can't really go and do anything around here since most the stuff...well, wouldn't be good for me..."

"You got fired?" Cessily dropped her jacket over a nearby chair and went to sit down on the couch in the living room. "You somehow don't seem to be terribly upset about that, no?" She nodded. "But yeah, I bet that this isn't easy for you? Do you have anything planned now? I mean, what are going to do next? Did you think about coming back to school?"

"I'm not. Being a waitress isn't all that great, and Josh took me out to lunch afterwards," she grinned. "I...don't know. I'm going to school soon to see Josh, and Liz invited me to see her new flat. And, I'm coming back to school. I don't think my father will let me sit around and do nothing all year."

Cessily nodded and grinned. "That's good to hear. Not that you got fired, but that you'll be back eventually. I'm sure you'll benefit from school and all the help you can get there." She shrugged. "I'm still trying to figure out what to do during my summer break."

"Well, I considered getting fired a good thing," she shrugged. "How I got fired is kinda complicated."

"Yeah, I really need the help. I told Liz I'd find a therapist, and I meant to, but I completely forgot..." Rachel ran a hand through her hair, "I'm not exactly sure what else I'm going to do either."

Cessily nodded again and crossed her legs. "Come, sit down for a while, okay?" She patted the space next to her. "We got an invitation from Rahne to come to her birthday party. It's in Scotland, but Vic will be paying for flights. So I guess I'll grab Japh and we'll head over to Europe for a while. That should be lovely. I always wanted to see Scotland."

"And while we're over there, who knows, we might go for a little trip through Europe. There's Lizzie's place, and Amara offered everyone to come visit her in Italy, too. And then, Remy and TJ said that they'd like to have us over in New Orleans for a few days. And then there's also my family who I'll have to visit. So... I guess Japh and I can't complain about a lack of options."

She looked at Rachel. "How did you get fired? I hope you didn't get into trouble, did you?"

"Yeah, that's all pretty much open if I decide to go see Lizzie, too. And Rahne said her and Vic would like to see me. I visited Ben in Boston. Laura invited me to see her. I have to go to school to see Rogue and Josh..." she scooted over to where Cess was sitting.

"Well, first off, it was so Josh's fault," she grinned. "Basically, I punched a mascot in the face, and it turned out to be Josh. Josh had knocked the guy that was supposed to be in the suit out and stuffed him in the bathroom. So, I was fired, and I'm pretty sure Josh is banned from the place."

Cessily blinked a few times at the story, then grinned and let out a short laugh. "Wow, that sounds hilarious. Sorry, but I'm sad that there are no pictures of how that happened?" She smirked, picturing Rachel punching a mascot. "There aren't any pictures, right? But I'm glad to hear that you're still quite the same after all."

She paused, still looking at Rae. "So, that sounds like you and Josh had a great time together, in your own special way. How are things between the two of you now?"

"Well, there's not any pictures that I know of. It was during a birthday party," she shrugged. "And that wasn't exactly all. At lunch, he embarrassed me. I didn't know my face could turn that red."

"Uh, yeah. After all that, he got to talk to my father, which went over as well as it could've," she smiled, "We're back together."

Cessily beamed a big smile and couldn't resist to throw her arms around Rachel another time, letting out a squee of joy. "Oh, I knew it! You two are just too perfect for each other to stay apart for too long. That's fantastic, Rae! I'm so happy to hear that."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me..." She chewed on her lip, "He...uh...told me he loved me at lunch, which so got blown out of porportion since the chef we had thought he was proposing..."

"Oh, wow..." Cessily blinked a few times. "That's really sweet." Cessily fought back a tear and the slight sting of pain inside her chest. Another happy couple. Everyone seemed to get who they wanted to be with. "Wait, just to make sure, it really was a misunderstanding. He didn't actually propose, did he?"

"No, he didn't," she shook her head. "The chef said something about it, and I spewed my drink everywhere. It was embarrassing."

Cessily laughed. "Now I really wish I had been there with my camera. But honestly, it's sweet that you're back together with Josh. You'll see, that alone will do you so much good and help you get better. Family and friends is the best thing to have when you're not feeling quite so good. Better than any medicine." She playfully poked Rachel's side. "That's why I thought I'd come here to annoy you."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, speaking of proposing... have you heard the news about TJ and Remy yet?"

Rachel squirmed at the poke, "Yeah, that's kinda why it was so hard to leave. Like, I needed to be alone and get away from everything, but then I missed everyone. My dad actually tried to convince me to stay."

She nodded, "Kinda. I saw on myspace..."

"That was quite the surprise, I can tell you." Cessily smiled. "We all left for this camping trip, and when we came back TJ and Remy announced that they had secretly married. Isn't that absolutely sweet? Those two and Johnny will make such an adorable family. I'm just sad that I didn't get to take the wedding pictures."

Her smile faded a bit and she nodded. "Yeah, I wondered what happened between you and your dad. When you left, I first thought that he was the one that made you leave. But I think he's right. There's really something missing at the school when you're not there."

"Wow. That's awesome for them." She pulled her knees up, "Yeah. I'm better than I was though. I can...umm...control it, like the changing. I sleep better, but I still have nightmares..."

"Really? Oh, I'm sad to hear that." Cessily leaned back on the couch, biting her lip. "And those nightmares... are they related to this change you've undergone, or because... because of what's been done to you?"

"I've had both. Normally, it's what was done..." Rachel ran a hand through her hair as she got her hand to spark and glow, watching the black creep around. "I can control this now though, which is good."

Cessily nodded slowly. "Yes, I bet that you must feel relieved about that. In fact, I know how that feels. You know, when I first changed, I couldn't control my shape shifting for a while. It took me days until I could assume a solid shape again. And weeks until I finally managed to look like I do now." She gave her a smile. "What I'm trying to say is, feel happy about it."

"It's an improvement, and you'll see, given some time, you'll completely deal with what happened. I'm sure of that."

She changed her hand back to normal. Sunshine... "Yeah, I hope so. I don't have control like this all the time, especially when I wake up from nightmares, but it's a nice improvement. And, I'm getting better," she shrugged.

"That's good to hear." Cessily smiled and nodded again. "Don't worry about it, it'll get better." She sighed inwardly, wishing that she could actually believe her own words. Sometimes fate had noting but cruel intentions... no, she wouldn't mope and ponder about this now. "You know what? I think we really should be doing something with each other again."

Her smile widened. "Like, watching a movie, or go eat ice cream. Something that takes both of our minds off of all the negative thoughts."

"Well, I have ice cream here and movies. I'll even let you choose, so you don't have to suffer through The Nightmare Before Christmas again," she grinned.

Cessily returned the grin. "Hey, I like that movie, too. Mind you, not quite as obsessively as you, but I still do. How about Corpse Bride for a compromise then?"

She rolled her eyes, "I don't think anyone loves that movie as much as I do, but Corpse Bride sounds good."

"Awesome!" Cessily almost jumped off the couch. "Let me help you gather snacks and drinks and ice cream then." She paused. "Oh, before I forgot it... you know, if you ever want to hang out at my place or want me to accompany somewhere, you just have to tell me, okay?"

"Yeah, I know," she smiled, getting up. "So, kitchen is this way. We can get everything, and I can grab the movie from my room, and we'll have fun."

[tears~fall~like~glass]

rachel: Rachel blew out a breath as she made her way into Josh's room, ignoring the nauseous feeling from lack of food and sleep and the voices in her head. She really needed to stop talking to it. The taxi driver had given her a few odd looks, though it wasn't all that surprising. At least she'd paid this one, instead of making him think she'd paid. She needed a shower and sleep, and Josh wasn't in here. Great.

rachel: Rubbing at her eyes, Rachel dug through her bag for a few things before making her way into the bathroom for the shower. He wouldn't mind, or at least she didn't think he would. He also, hopefully, wouldn't mind that she was stealing some of his pjs to wear since she planned on a nap after her shower.

Josh: Josh dug his hand through his bag of Fritos as he headed to his room. It was official. Summer sucked. He had nothing to do except job-hunt, surf the web, pester Ben...

Josh: The reunion with his ex-ex-girlfriend, though? That was great. It was worth a boring summer if it meant he at least got to see Rachel more often. And she was coming back to New York soon! Then his summer would really get interesting -

rachel: Rachel ran a hand through her wet hair as she adjusted the towel around herself, making her way back into the room to grab the clothes she forgot. She could always blame that on the voices in her head...

Josh: Opening the door, Josh tossed a chip in the air and tilted his head back to catch it in his mouth. It bounced off his nose and fell to the floor. "Crap." He looked around for it, until his eyes fell on something much more interesting.

Josh: Rachel. His girlfriend. Girlfriend, how great it felt to call her that. And she was wearing... not a whole lot. Josh blinked and rubbed his eyes. "See, I really thought I'd be going to the other place when I died. Not sure what I did to deserve this!"

rachel: She jumped at the voice, glad she managed to keep a hold on the towel. Well, not that it would matter since there wasn't anything he hadn't seen... "Uh...hey," she gave a small smile.

Josh: "Usually this routine involves scented candles and rose petals sprinkled on the coverlet," Josh said, wearing a mischievous smirk, "but, I like your approach. It's fresh and unique."

rachel: Rachel smirked, "Well, I don't exactly have money anymore, so it's a good thing you can deal without those." She still felt sick and the damn song was still going, but it was much easier to ignore with Josh around. "And, really, I was just in here to steal some of your clothes."

Josh: "Babe, if I couldn't, I'd have to reevaluate my tough-guy rep," Josh replied, coming over to her and laying his hands on her shoulders. "My clothes? Aren't they a little big on you? Or is the grunge look an in-thing again?"

rachel: "Pffft, you're only, like, a few inches taller than me, and I was planning on sleeping..." the smirked remained on her face as she leaned into him, "...unless you have other plans for me..."

Josh: Josh's eyes grew large and round. "'Other plans'?" he repeated, aghast. "Are you implying that I'm anything other than a gentleman? I have neckties for heaven's sakes!" And to prove his point, he went to the closet, grabbed a Tweety tie, and knotted it loosely around his neck. It clashed horribly with his blue-plaid tee shirt.

rachel: Rachel raised an eyebrow at his choice in ties, "Well, isn't that lovely. Tweety almost matches the color of your skin."

Josh: Josh looked at his tie and made an offended noise. "No way! Tweety's like... puke yellow. I am pure gold. Like my heart." He clutched his chest dramatically, staggering over to drop on the bed.

Josh: "So, you wanna steal my clothes? And then, about those plans..."

rachel: "What's the point in putting them on if you're just going to take them off again?" She rolled her eyes, slipping the clothes on anyway. Rachel plopped down next to him and wrapped her arms around him.

Josh: "The point," Josh informed her, "is that if you don't put them on, I can't very well take them off, can I?" He mock-pouted, crossing his arms. "Spoil all my fun why don't you. How was Boston?"

rachel: Rachel rolled her eyes again, moving his arms so she could lay on him. "Well, if they were already off, it'd save you a lot of trouble." She snuggled into him, frowning slightly at the mention of Boston as she closed her eyes, "It sucked. I missed you. How was here?"

Josh: "Again, you miss the point, my dear Watson - fun," Josh waggled his eyebrows, bringing an arm around to stroke his thumb down her arm. "Here sucked. I missed you."

rachel: "Fun? What's this thing called fun?" she glanced up, sticking her tongue out. "Really, though, I didn't sleep or eat well while I was there. I don't adjust to new places very well, apparently."

Josh: Josh frowned and lifted an eyebrow. "Couldn't sleep or eat? Don't tell me Ben made you do the cooking."

rachel: "Of course not. Everyone's smart enough to not let me cook. Well, I ate, I guess...just not a lot or well. And sleep...well, the whole nightmares thing, y'know...and I didn't want to fall asleep and destroy anything, so I just kinda put sleeping off..." Rachel stared at the pattern on his shirt, reaching up to rub at her eyes. "I do sleep though...like when I at home or with you, but you should know that. It was just being in a different place, I guess..."

Josh: Josh massaged her shoulders gently, frowning as she talked. "Still getting those nightmares, huh," he murmured, pressing firmly against her muscles. "I wish there were something we could do about those."

rachel: "Liz suggested therapy, and I meant to look into it and didn't. I don't really want to talk about this right now. Can I tell you about Boston later? 'Cause there is stuff I really need to tell you," she sighed. "Feels nice, by the way..."

Josh: Josh sighed and hoped she didn't hear. He was troubled, but he wasn't going to press her. She had a lot to deal with right now - and for once he was making a concentrated effort not to add to that. "Yeah. Shoot." He grinned and brought his hands lower down her shoulders. "Good. It's meant to."

rachel: Rachel smiled slightly, leaning into his touch. She was pretty sure this was the one thing she'd wanted the whole time she was in Boston. "Love you," she mumbled.

Josh: His grin broadened and he dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Now that's what I like to hear. I love too you, Sexybee. So much."

rachel: "I hate that name..." She smirked, "So, still up for fun?"

Josh: "I thought you didn't know what fun is?"

rachel: "Well, I guess you'll have to show me...."

Josh: "It's elementary, my dear."

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Benny: Ben trudged into the kitchen. It was probably about five in the morning and he had woken up with an incredibly dry throat. He poured himself a glass of water, drank it down, and then leaned against the sink.

Benny: He tried to think clear, but his head was still dreaming in mid-sleep state. He tured around to see Rachel, her head in her arms, asleep at the "island" in the middle of the kitchen. Ben shrugged and picked some grapes throwing them at the illusion.

rachel: Rachel's face scrunched up as something hit her in the face. What the fuck? She scowled upon realizing that she'd woken up earlier that night and never gone back to bed. Well, and that someone was fucking throwing grapes at her. She forced the next was back with her teke, looking to the ice cream she'd been planning on eating. Warm and melted. Ew. Too bad Bobby wasn't around.

rachel: She sat up raking a hand through her hair and glancing at the one with the grapes. Ben. Great. "What the hell are you doing?"

Benny: Ben, astonished, dropped the last grape. "Oh wow, not dreaming." he said. He looked Rachel up and down and realized she was in what looked like Josh's tee shirt and boxers. "Been busy?" He snickered. "You doing okay?"

rachel: "Obviously not." Rubbing at her eyes, she shoved the bowl away. She'd clean that up later. "Why? Want details?" she smirked. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Benny: "Good." Ben said. He noticed the puddled ice cream. "My amazing skills of detection inform me that you have been asleep in the kitchen for at least thirty minutes, being that your ice cream is...well cream." He sat down next to her and cracked his knuckles, yawning, and basically forcing himself awake. "You been hiding out too? Or does everyone know your back?"

rachel: "I've been sleeping down here for about..." Rachel glanced at the clock, "...2 hours..."

rachel: She frowned. Hopefully, Josh hadn't woken up. "I got back today...yesterday, whatever. Only Josh knows. Been doing stuff since I got back..." Rachel shrugged, rolling her shoulders. Yeah, sleep was nice but always better when it involved a bed, not the counter.

Benny: "I've been sorta hiding out for like two days. Coming out mostly at night, sleeping in the green house usually, out in the city during the day." Ben shrugged. "I'm putting off explaining to Rogue...I don't know why I just...I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing I guess..."

rachel: "Rogue knows. Everything. I told her." Rachel grabbed the bowl she'd been planning to put off and made her way to the sink to wash it out. She needed to do something. "Well, everything I remember..."

Benny: "...Awesome." Ben sighed. "She upset? Much?"

rachel: She chewed on her lip, "I dunno. Didn't talk to her in person. She wasn't all that happy..."

Benny: Ben frowned. "Splendid." Ben put his head in his hands. "Dude, I fucked up so badly not telling her, huh?"

rachel: "I dunno. You'd have to talk to her..."

Benny: Ben pulled his hair. "Why do I keep messing up?" He nervously fumbled in his pockets and pulled out a cigarette. He opened the kitchen door and stood in the entrance, lighting the cigarette and taking a puff.

rachel: Rachel bit down on her lip harder as her nose twitched at the smell, "Don't smoke that around me."

rachel: She took a breath, trying to ignore the cigarette as she debated to tell him why it bothered her so much. He's seen my memories. Would think he knew better... She scowled at the question, "I ask myself that everyday..."

Benny: Ben flicked the cigarette away. He wasn't sure why, anyone else (except maybe Rogue) and he would've told them to bite him, but something in the back of his head said "this really bothers her."

Benny: He looked back at her and shut the door. "I'm so tired of not getting my intentions with her straight! I feel like I'm wasting my time, if not her time." He frowned and wished he hadn't thrown out the smoke.

rachel: Rachel raised an eyebrow and glanced over at him, increduously. "Are you asking me for relationship advice?"

Benny: "I'm looking at you for girl advice..." Ben said. "I'm looking at you as a friend in my other firends clothing..."

rachel: She shut the water off, putting the bowl in the dishwasher with a snicker before looking at him again with a straight face. "Oh my god. You're serious aren't you?"

Benny: Ben laughed. "I don't know what to say!" Ben nearly shouted. "I'm at my wits end with her! I know what I want to say, but I can't word it right, no matter how many times I say it. I come off too strong, too apologetic, too unitersted, or worse,..."

Benny: Ben sighed. "I come off too sexual." He rolled his eyes. "I hate the idea of her thinking I'm in it for the mac, or the sauce, or whatever they're calling it these days."

rachel: "Pffft. You think I know something about how girls act? Most of my friends were guys and probably still are. The most I know is that most are bitches that can't fight worth shit, which doesn't really apply to this place," she shrugged. "And it's not going to come out right, nothing's perfect. Oh, and too sexual? Please. Josh is worse than you."

Benny: Ben plugged his ears. "La la la la la."

Benny: "I really, really, really don't wanna hear abotu you and Josh's sex life. I dunno if this has it you yet, but you're like my little sister." He pulled his ears out. "Guh-ross."

rachel: "I wasn't going to tell you. I don't give out details to anyone about my personal life really," she rolled her eyes, smirking. "And it's not about our sex life. Just pointing out that you didn't shove her and kiss her against a dresser in Bobby's room...which was really, really awkward afterwards. I'll spare you the details about the closet in the rec room."

Benny: Ben plugged his ears. "La la la la la la," he shouted out. "I can't hear youuu!"

rachel: "See? You're not that bad. I haven't even said anything about me and Vic."

Benny: Ben crumpled to the floor, looking at her with disatisfaction. "Gu!" He unplugged his ears. "Okay, Okay, what if you just tell me what you think my biggest problem with Rogue is?"

rachel: "I dunno. I don't keep track of everything you and Rogue do."

Benny: "If you could explain it to Rogue, why I dragged your to Boston, instead of her, how would you do it?"
Benny: Ben sighed. "Pretend your me, not you. I know you don't get why, and hell sometimes I don't get why, but pretend you are, what would you say?"

rachel: She gave him a blank look, "Pretend I'm you? I dunno. I think she's more upset that you didn't tell her you were going to Boston. Well, she was til I told her everything. Sorry. Wasn't exactly sane while I was talking to her..."

Benny: Ben grunted. "I'm just upset at myself. I did leave her a note, but it was so quick. I think it was like 'Going to see Mom, BBL, "-Ben stopped.

Benny: "Ohhhh Goooood!" He put his head in his hands again.

rachel: "Just tell her the truth. I don't know what you want me to tell you, but I think that's the only thing you can do. Josh doesn't even know what happened...yet."

Benny: Ben looked up at her. "Well, I'm sure he'll be happy you're alive right?" he forced a grin. "God, I just realized, I signed the note, with an X and an O." Ben made himself laugh, clearly a forced laugh.

Benny: "Oh, criminey, I'm in for it."

rachel: "I dunno. Probably. He's more concerned about the fact that I hadn't slept or ate in...three, four days? If he has an issue with it, he'll get over it."

Benny: "I have an issue with that too..." Ben said irritably. "I'm not exactly excited by that idea either." He looked at his watch. "Wanna drag Josh outta bed for some Denny's?"

rachel: "Well, I'm sure you'll get over it, too," she said, looking to the clock. "Are you kidding? Josh out of bed at this hour? He'll be grumpy all day if I do..." Rachel grinned, "...though I'm sure I could fix that..."

Benny: Ben rolled his eyes. "Well I'm going. If you wanna come you can," He poured himself another glass of water and downed it. "I'm gonna mull stuff over one last time before I confront Rogue on my uh, poor behavior." he winked and secretly wished that God would just kill him on his way back from Denny's. He needed a good breakfast before he died.

rachel: "Actually, I think I'm gonna go back to bed considering I shouldn't be awake at this hour in the summer. I'll be free for lunch or dinner though," she gave him a small grin. "It'll be fine. Just explain and everything, and it'll be cool. Sure, she'll probably be upset, but that's all you can really do."

Ben: Ben smiled back. "I know...I just worry a lot. Y'know?" Ben laughed and opened the door to walk out, sneaking a cigarette from his pocket on the other side. "I'll see you later. Thanks." He waved and shut the door. As soon as he had, he lit up and put the cigarette to his lips. Putting on his aviators, he strolled down the path to his scooter.

rachel: Rachel rolled her eyes as she headed back to Josh's room. Speaking of Rogue, she promised her that she'd see her after she got back. She'd have to remember to do that later.

[Esynthia]

rachel: Rachel ran a hand through her hair with a sigh as she knocked on the door. She'd slept, and she still felt tired. Maybe it was because she hadn't had food? Well, besides maybe two spoonfuls of ice cream at three in the morning before she fell alsleep in the kitchen. Yeah, that'd been smart. She shook her head as she waited for Rogue to reply.

Rogue: Rogue turned her head at the knock and walked over from where she had been folding clothes to open the door. "Hey, Rae!" She pulled her friend into a careful hug and squeezed her tight. "How are ya, sugah?"

rachel: "Hey," she returned the hug. She had to be getting used to them since she didn't resist anymore. "I'm okay. A little tired," she shrugged, "How are you?"

Rogue: "Doin' alright. Foldin' mah laundry. So, bit boring in here." She laughed and walked into the room and back to her waiting pile of clothes, knowing Rachel would follow her in. "Haven't talked ta ya really since mahspace. How's things?" She picked up a shirt and whipped it to get it to hang right before going through the automatic motions of the folding.

rachel: Rachel sat down, grabbing a shirt, figuring she should make herself useful. "Yeah...sorry about that. I didn't mean to dump all that one you. I wasn't exactly thinking straight, but I'm a bit better now. I would've seen you after I got back, but Josh caught me sneaking around his room. I talked to him and ended up taking a nap. And, I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me around six this morning since most people sleep then."

Rogue: Rogue laughed and set the now folded shirt on the stack and picked up another. "It's alright, sugah. Just so long as ya ok, Ah'm ok with ya takin' ya time in findin' me." She gave her a grin, "Sooo... Josh... How's all that goin' anyway?"

rachel: "Fine. He's glad I'm back from Boston. Well, so am I. I was having some issues with my powers and everything on the way back, but I'm okay now," I think. "I talked to Ben this morning." She frowned at the shirt, failing at folding it. It'd been a while since she actually had to do laundry. At home, she could just throw it on the floor and hope whatever she picked to wear was clean.

Rogue: Rogue laughed and watched Rachel fumble with the shirt for a moment before shaking her head and picking up a sock, searching through the pile for it's match. "Issues? What happened?" She shot Rachel a concerned look that switched to an irritated one at the mention of her current crush. "Oh did ya? Fun."

rachel: "Yeah. Ben's..." she shrugged, "...I dunno. He's freaked out about talking to you 'cause he thinks he's screwing things up. Oh, and he's picked up a nasty habit that may be worse than drinking. He woke me up this morning. Fell asleep in the kitchen, and he pelted me with grapes..."

rachel: Rachel managed to get the shirt folded properly as she chewed on her lip, "Uh...my telepathy was acting up, kinda. I'm pretty sure I talked to myself the whole way back from Boston, like held a conversation with myself. Y'know how Bobby sung 'You are my Sunshine' and it kinda stuck? Well, yeah...I was talking to that voice...."

Rogue: Rogue arched an eyebrow, "Oh really? What's worse than drinkin' unless he's a crack addict? Did ya pelt him back? Shoulda, if ya didn't." She smirked and looked down, finding the other sock right next to her hand, then jerked her head up at the mention of 'You are my Sunshine'. "Damn. Sorry, Rae. Figured that'd be ok by now..."

rachel: "He's smoking. I got a bit shitty and told him not to around me. And, I tried. It's a bit hard when you don't know what's going on," she smirked back, grabbing another shirt since she wasn't sure she could fold anything else.

rachel: "I doubt it'll ever be okay, but it gets easier to deal with. It's just really bad when I don't sleep because it gets hard to focus. I....I'm getting therapy soon," she admitted with a slight frown.

Rogue: "Smoking? Really?!" Rogue surpressed a sigh and tossed the socks onto the stack and sank onto her bed, starting to seperate the different types of clothes to make it easier to find her socks' partners. "Well, yeah, Ah doubt anybody'll ever be ok after that, but figured it wouldn't come up ta bite ya that hard in tha ass again." She smiled, "Ah'm glad ya gettin' therapy. Ah'm proud of ya, sugah. Ah really am."

rachel: "Yeah," she nodded, not really wanting to touch on the whole drugs subject. "Well, I can't babysit his ass and take care of myself, so his problem, I guess." She pushed her hand through her hair again, setting the folded shirt with the others, "Yeah, well, I think it does that every night with the nightmares and all."

rachel: Therapy. She blew out a breath, "I dunno about therapy. I've had it before, but I'm still really nervous about it..."

Rogue: "Ain't sayin' ya should babysit him. He's a grown man an' knows whats best f' himself. Most of tha time. Not tellin' me anythin' sides he was goin' ta visit his mama, in. A. Note. was not good f' him seein' as how there was a lot more involved. Gettin' me upset is worse f' ya health than smokin'." She grinned. "Don't be nervous, darlin'. Ah think it'll help ya. Ya goin' ta see Dai?"

rachel: "Well, I told everyone besides Josh I was leaving in a note, though I guess I was just going home to be a bum and mooch off my father. He's all freaking out 'cause he doesn't know how to explain everything to you, and I don't know if he was listening when I told him to just tell you the truth."

Rogue: "He'd better tell me tha fuckin' truth. He know ya already told me what ya remember? Or is that gonna be a shock ta him if Ah catch him in a lie?" She raised an eyebrow at her last question and folded another shirt.

rachel: "He knows, and he wasn't all that thrilled about it. And if he did try and lie, you know I'd just tell you what really happened anyway," she shrugged, "I think the most amusing thing was that he asked me for girl and relationship advice."

Rogue: "Relationship? He assumin' we have one?" Rogue said incredulously, a small stirring of irritation in her. "An' Ah know ya would, sugah. But ya know how good Ah am at catchin' lies."

rachel: "No, he's not. He wants one, I guess, but he doesn't want you to think he's shallow or whatever and is probably still freaking out about it even though I told him he wasn't that bad...and told him some things he really didn't want to hear about Josh and me," she smirked. "Yeah, scares me how good you are at that sometimes. Oh, and I am going to see Dai. I guess the difference this time is that I want help..."

Rogue: "Got mah ways, sugah. Don't have ta be a telepath. But when ya got a whole helluva lot of people in ya mind, ya learn how ta read faces an' body language an' tones better than normal people." She smirked, "Did ya now? Might've paid ta see his face. An' good. Dai's awesome. Wantin' it sure does help alot, sugah."

rachel: "Trust me. You don't want to be a telepath. It's not as cool as some people seem to think it is. Yeah, and it wasn't even anything that bad. Just our first kiss and Remy locking us in the closet. I didn't even mention anything when he asked about me being in Josh's clothes," she grinned. "It does. I just can't deal with not sleeping and eating and everyone worrying about me anymore..."

Rogue: "Ok, news flash. Ah'm always gonna worry 'bout ya. Sorry, darlin'." She shrugged, then went on, "Hey, if he asked 'bout ya bein' in Josh's clothes, then he deserved ta hear more than what ya told him." Rogue grinned and stood to put the now leaning stack of clothes in their proper drawers. "Although, if ya slept an' ate regular like, Ah don't think Ah'd be as worried."

rachel: Rachel shrugged, "Worry all you want. I don't really blame you for it. I just asked if he wanted details. He didn't answer. Oh, and since I should be eating regularly, you wanna go get something to eat?"

Rogue: "Would love to." She smiled and shut the drawer, setting the clothes still to be put away on her desk. "Kitchen or out?" She walked to her door, grabbing her phone from the top of her dresser on the way and stuffing it into her pocket.

rachel: "Out. There's not much in the kitchen," she grinned, following Rogue out of the room.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

rachel: Rachel leaned against the wall, taking a few deep breaths as she tried to convince herself to knock on the door. This was good. She wanted the help, but she was nervous. It wasn't like it was the first time she was talking to Dai either. She'd spent a lot of time in her office after the cutting and Farouk thing... She took one last breath and finally knocked after a few more minutes.

DrGuan: Dai looked over from where she'd been standing at the mirror, contemplating going out for a flight, "Hello? Who's that?" it was the summer break wasn't it? Who'd be comming to see her?

rachel: She chewed on her lip, not exactly sure if that was an invitation to come in or not, "Uh...Rachel. I...Are you busy?"

DrGuan: Rachel? Here? Willingly? "Sure, come in," she smiled at the girl as she entered, "well if I do say so it's a suprise to see you here, a pleasent one. What can I do for you?"

rachel: She ran a hand through her hair, leaning back against the closed door, not quite sure she wanted to sit. Yeah, this was the part she was having issues with. She didn't really want to admit it, but... "...I...umm...I wanted help. Well, and I really need it too...."

DrGuan: Dai smiled a little, so she's finally admited that she needed the help? Wonderful! That meant she was already on the road to recovery.

DrGuan: "Yes? Well in that case please take a seat, would you like something to eat or drink?" Dai walked over to her desk and sat down on her chair. "I'm glad that you felt able to come to me."

rachel: Rachel sat down and shook her head, "No thanks. Just got back from lunch. Yeah...I figured it was easier and cheaper than finding a new therapist and you've been dealing with me anyway."

DrGuan: Dai chuckled, "Well I guess you could say that, so ... is there anything in particular you'd like to address?"

rachel: She thought for a moment. There were a lot of things she probably needed to deal with. "Well, my nightmares, maybe? I have a lot of issues with them, like I'll go for days without sleeping. Then, I can't focus on controlling my powers and everything..."

DrGuan: "Well, I can certainly help you with the nightmares, and with adressing the cause of them." Dai nodded, "anything else?"

DrGuan: She had to admit, she was curious whta had made Rachel decide to come to her, had something just happened?

rachel: She shrugged, "I think just nightmares for now."

DrGuan: "Alright then," dai smiled and sat back in her chair, everything in it's due course after all, "Why don't you tell em about these nightmares?"

rachel: "Okay," Rachel pulled her knees up, taking a breath, "It's stuff that happened while I was captured. They normally start with Essex telling me about the electroshock therapy, and he flips the switch. Basically, just like what really happened. Once it's over, he goes to take notes and asks me if I saw something. He gives me painkillers for my migraines and sends me off."

rachel: "After that, it's when I was isolated without the collar and everything. I changed, like my skin goes all black and I glow. I could show you. I wake up when the change is complete. I passed out, really. Sometimes, Josh wakes me up before it gets to that part."

DrGuan: Dai frowned a little, "Hmm ... how do you feel during these dreams, how real does it seem to you when they're happening?"

rachel: "Just like it did when it actually happened."

DrGuan: Dai's frown deepened, "In that case they could be more flashbacks rather then nightmares ... how realistic, scents, sounds? Do you experiance everything?"

rachel: Rachel pushed her hand through her hair, "Well, changing felt a lot like it did. It hurt a lot. Burned, even. I had a really, really bad migraine. I've given Josh my nightmares before. The only thing he could remember was the sound of Essex's voice. I don't think I remember any smells though. Everything was sterile, like a hospital..."

DrGuan: "So perhaps just a vivid nightmare in that case. I think it would be best if you start to keep a dream diary, and be as thorough as you can with it."

DrGuan: Dai looked throughtful, "I could also work with you on some lucid dreaming techniques, where you have suffient control over your dreaming as to stop the nightmares before they even start. It's worked quite well with a number of other people I've treated, does that sound okay to you?"

rachel: She nodded, "That sounds good. I think I can do that."

DrGuan: "We'll also need to address the causes of this, as well as you're other issues, you okay with that as well?"

rachel: "Yeah," she nodded again. "That sounds good, too."

DrGuan: "Wonderfull, and 'm so very glad that you felt able t come to me about this Rachel."

rachel: "Yeah, well, I'm glad you're here to help," she shrugged. "So, when should I start keeping the dream diary?"

DrGuan: "As soon as possible, and try to keep it as detailed as possible ... I'd advise that you do it as soon as you wake up and put down everything you remember, no matter how infignificant ot 'wierd' it may be."

DrGuan: "The idea is that we can use this to identify key themes or recurring images in your dreams, and work on what they signify and dealing with them." Dai smiled.

rachel: "Okay, I can do that. And, when do you want me to come in again because I was planning on spending a few days in London?"

DrGuan: "London? Oh that's wonderful, I think a break would do you good as well ... why don't you come and see me a couple of days after you come back then? Give you some time to get over your jetlag?"

rachel: "Yeah," she grinned, "I'm going to visit Lizzie and see her new flat and everything." Get over her jetlag. She could think of a few ways to do that. "Okay, cool. And, I can start with the dream diary tonight once I find a notebook."

DrGuan: She seemed to genuinly be taking this seriously, this was so much different from the sulky and silent girl that she'd seen before. What an improvement already! "That would be great Rachel, just phone to check I'm in before you come to see me okay?"

rachel: "Sure." She gnawed on her lip for a moment, thinking, "Uh...if I have any issues in London...would it be okay if I called?"

DrGuan: "Of course, you can even reverse the charge if you need too, I'm sure Dr. Xaiver won't mind." Dai smiled warmly and handed Rachel a card with her contact details on it. "Anytime okay? Don't worry about time differances or anything okay?"

rachel: She smiled, taking the card, "Thanks. Yeah, though I'll try not to call at some random hour. Liz can help me with the time differences, I think."

DrGuan: "I think London is about ... five hours ahead? Just make sure you have a calculator and you should be okay." Dai laughed.

rachel: Rachel grinned, uncurling herself so she could stand, "So, that's all for today?"

DrGuan: "Sure, we'll get started properly once you've come back and we can start looking at the dream diary."

rachel: "Cool," she headed to the door, "Thanks, and I guess I'll see you later."

DrGuan: "Take care Rachel, have fun in London," Dai called after her, smiling. That had pretty much just made her summer.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel’s head spun, her breaths short and ragged. She could hear her heart pounding, muting any other sounds. Where was she? What was going on? She could tell she was shaking, but she wasn’t sure why. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to focus on figuring it out.

Blinking, the dark room came into focus, though was still blurred somehow. Crying? When had that started? This wasn’t her room. Biting down on her lip, she attempted to focus again. Not back there. Never going back there. Can’t. Josh’s room? Yeah, she was in Josh’s room. She’d been staying at school for the past week or so after she got back from Boston, and she was in Josh’s room and was suddenly aware of his arms around her. Safe.

Rachel sighed, enjoying the feeling as she leaned back into him. It was just another nightmare. She wiped at her face, glad the tears had ceases upon her realization. Wait...nightmare. That meant she should go write in that journal. She’d forgotten to last night and after she woke up yesterday, and she needed to get in the habit before she went to London.

The only problem was that she didn’t want to get up. She was warm and comfy in bed in Josh’s arms.

Muttering a curse, she rolled over and gave Josh a small shake instead of cuddling against him like she wanted to. He blinked a few times in an attempt to adjust to not sleeping anymore, and Rachel could feel his concern wash over her mind. She pulled her shields up as she told him he was okay, giving him a small, and hopefully, reassuring smile and stole a quick kiss, “I’ll be back in a while...” He didn’t look very pleased as he released his hold on her. She’d explain later since two or three in the morning didn’t seem like the best time.”Just wanted you to know, so you don’t freak out or anything. I love you.” He grumbled a reply and shifted, rolling over.

She watched him, making sure he’d fallen back asleep before she got up and grabbed a pencil and the notebook she’d placed on the desk. She made her way out of the room, finding herself standing outside the door to her and Liz’s room. Well, just Liz’s room, she supposed, though Liz did still call it their room sometimes. She hesitated for a moment before entering anyway and took a seat at the desk, not quite sure about this whole thing anymore. She wanted to go back to bed where it was warm and she could go back to sleep. But, she wanted to get better, so she remained sitting the chair.

She leaned back and glanced around the room, taking it all in with a faint smile. Now that she thought about it, she should probably be as quiet as possible since Rogue was just next door. It all pretty much looked the same, just lacked her stuff and the feeling of being lived in, but that wasn’t a surprise since she hadn’t been around, and Liz was back in England for break. She pulled on the cover of the notebook, tucking it under, the blank, lined page staring back at her.

How exactly was she supposed to do this? Rachel stared back at the page that seemed to glow in the dark, finally realizing that light would be good. She flipped it on with her teke, too busy thinking about what to write to actually get up and do so. Writing had never been one of her strong points. Well, school and actual writing. She was okay with song writing. She frowned and pushed on the end of the pencil, shaking it when the lead didn’t pop out like it was supposed to. Once it did, she brought the tip to the blank page and paused for a moment before writing the date at the top, frowning at her tiny, scratchy handwriting. After a few more minutes, the pencil started moving across the paper, forming words that Rachel wasn’t sure anyone would be able to read.

I was strapped to the table. I could feel the cool metal under me, making my skin prickle. The restraints were pushing against my wrists...or my wrists were pushing against then. I’m not exactly sure. The bright, florescent lights were blaring, bringing out how sterile everything looked, like a hospital except worse.

Essex was near me after a few moments, talking to me, towering over me. He was really tall and pale. I’m not sure if it was just the lights, or he was really that pale. I mean, not even I am that pale, so kudos to him for looking like death warmed over. He’s...I dunno. It’s hard to describe Essex. I guess, dedicated would work. He was pretty serious about what he was doing, and I’m pretty sure he believed that he wasn’t doing anything wrong by holding us against our will for his research.

Anyway, he was swabbing my arm and holding a syringe. I could feel the sting the of needle piercing my skin and the slight burn of whatever he was injecting into my muscles. Then, he was hooking me up to a machine and asking me what I knew about electroshock therapy that didn’t come from movies. I answered him, and he did a few things, like checking my eyes and asking me how I was feeling before he gagged me and started the machine.

I could feel the current of electricity pulse through me, my muscles locking up. This all did nothing to help my migraine, by the way, but I was distracted from it. Just as soon as the shock had started, it’d ended and was starting all over again. I wanted to scream, cry, anything, but my breath was caught in my throat, and the only moving I was doing was jerking from the shocks. We went through this a few more times before he was standing near me again, his voice cutting through my haze.

His voice sounded the same as it always did, cold and calculating, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying while he removed the gag, and he was asking me questions that were kinda hard to answer because my head was pounding, and I was still reeling from the drugs and shocks that he gave me.

I know I answered him, but I don’t remember what I said. The lights were blinding, and I couldn’t focus on anything really. My migraine was raging, but one question broke through my confusion. “Did you do something?” he asked as he looked up from the notes he was taking, staring at me, waiting for an answer.

I said no, and he eyed me before going back to his notes. I lapsed back into silence, trying to make sense of anything. My muscles felt stiff, and all I could manage to focus on was the pain and lights overhead and how they were blinding me, coloring my vision with spots as I tried to think straight.

Tonight that’s where I woke up, or that’s where I think I woke up because I was really confused. I wasn’t sure where I was or anything, just couldn’t think straight, which I guess could be from just waking up. My head was spinning, and I wasn’t sure if I was actually here or back in Essex’s labs. It took me a few minutes to notice that I was shaking and crying. After a few more minutes, I figured out that I was in Josh’s room and that he was right next to me. I was glad that my nightmare didn’t wake him up, even though I had to wake him up anyway once I remember that I had to write this.

Rachel flipped the page back, looking over everything that she’d written and resisted the urge to just throw it away. She sat back, letting out a breath. She was surprised that she’d actually managed to write anything. The faint smile returned as she continued to stare at her handwriting, which she was still convinced shouldn’t be considered handwriting considering how small and sloppy it was. She’d done it though. She’d actually written the nightmare out like Dai had told her to, and she actually felt a little better. It felt good to get it all out. She closed the notebook, sticking the pencil in the spiral as she got up.

She looked around the room one more time as she turned the light out, careful to remain silent, so she didn’t wake Rogue up. She made her way through the halls back to Josh’s room, silently slipping in. Rachel placed the notebook on his desk, on top of her laptop. She grinned at it, feeling proud of herself as she turned toward the bed. She watched Josh for a few minutes before climbing back into bed.

Rachel scooted to where he was lying and wrapped her arms around his waist after pulling the covers around her, though actually making an attempt tonight not to take the covers he had. Normally, she’d just wake up and take them, not really thinking about it. She was pretty sure it was something that irritated him. She pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades and rested her head there, feeling nice and safe and warm.

These feelings were a bit weird, and Rachel would’ve spent more time thinking about them if she wasn’t fighting to keep her eyes open. She didn’t want to fall asleep and have the accomplished feeling fade away, but she was comfy and warm, and sleep was hard to resist.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Ben: Ben played the banjo on his bed as he bounced his head to the beat. He twanged away as he sang "ugly day! the sun is shining, every cloud's got a silver lining! Ugly Day, the skies are blue, but every day is ugly without you!" he continued the rest of the words in his head as he plucked away, humming with the tune.

rachel: Rachel's jaw twitched in irritation as she stared at the screen of her laptop. He couldn't just tell her why? She shoved the machine away, slightly disappointed that Josh wasn't in the room at the moment. She scribbled him a note just in case she wasn't back by the time he got back since they did have plans to go out today.

rachel: It didn't take her long to get to Ben's room. Just down the hall. She took a few breaths and knocked on the door a bit harder than she'd intended to.

Ben: Ben stopped playing and put his Banjo down. Throwing on some plaude shorts to go with his gray Bruce Springsteen shirt, he un did the lock and opened the door. "Whoa, Rae! Whats up?"

rachel: "You damn well know what I'm here about," she scowled, making her way into the room and taking a seat on the chair at his desk. "Talk. Now."

Ben: Ben laughed and sat down on his bed, patting it to invite her to join him. "Look, I saw a lot of stuff. A lot of it creeped me out but I'm okay with it. There's this one thing though,...I can't get over."

Ben: Ben's face hardened and he looked her in the eyes. "Rachel...why are their images in your brain, and now my brain, of you killing yourself. Literally taking a sword, coming up behind...well yourself, and stabbing her?"

rachel: "Okay, I want to know everything you saw, not just one thing whether you're fine with them or not." Rachel took another deep breath, not liking that her impaitence was getting the better of her, "Because I want to die some days. As much as everyone would like to believe I'm okay, I'm not. I still have days I wished I died when I overdosed or when I slit my wrists, where I just want to kill myself. It shouldn't be all that surprising, really."

Ben: Ben had to admit, it wasn't. But that didn't excuse it either. "Look, there were a lot of fucked up things. You were being tortured by who I assume is Essex, you were talking to Josh in some restaraunt and he was telling you about ...Jimmy...Ginny? Something like that, and there was this guy giving you drugs."

Ben: Ben sighed, "there was a small image of you kissing Rogue, one of you kissing Josh, one of you doing other horrible stuff to Josh which I really cannot stress enough, I do not ever want to see again, and there was another super awkward one as well..." He bit his lip and stopped there.

rachel: Rachel chewed on her lip, taking in what he said. Well, the awkward stuff was easier. "Yeah, I have kissed Rogue. I tend to kiss Josh everytime I see him, as well as other....activities sometimes. And?" She raised an eyebrow, "I want more detail, not on the Josh stuff or anything, but on Essex and stuff."

Ben: "Well...images of him shocking you, drugging you, doing terrible shit to Bobby and the others...I don't think you saw it thought it seemed to be like you imagining it, like someone was describing it all to you..." Ben shook his head. "It's all awful, I'm so sorry you were stuck there." Ben hugged her. "I would've gone that day when they got you guys out if they had asked."

rachel: She nodded. Her conversation with Bobby... "Okay, and the other stuff? My conversation with Josh, the drug deal?"

Ben: "I never saw a deal, just someone giving you drugs. And the conversation with Josh was a lot of crying, people congragulating you two for getting married or something...and him talking about a brother or a sister or something..."

rachel: "That was recently. Josh took me out to lunch, and people thought he was proposing to me....even though he wasn't. It was embarrassing." Rachel purposefully left out the part about Jimmy. That was Josh's business and place to tell, not hers. She didn't really want to discuss family with Josh, let alone Ben.

rachel: "Well, you got to see the end of a drug deal then," she shoved a hand through her hair, her irritation slowly fading.

Ben: "You okay?" Ben asked her. "I mean...with me having seen this stuff? Because trust me if I could make it go away...the memories and the things that have happened to you...I would in a heartbat."

rachel: "I don't want the things that happened to me to change. They made me who I am, and I doubt I'd have Josh or any of the friends I have if I was different. Sure, I don't like myself a lot of the time, but I'm working on that, and it's worth it."

rachel: She gnawed her on her lip again, "I don't care about the Essex, or the awkward stuff. The conversation with Josh irritates me, as that was between me and him. No one needs to know about it, and I can't tell you about it. Their Josh's personal problems and his to share with whoever he wants. The drug deal is what annoys me the most, but whatever. Can't do anything about it."

Ben_Reilly: "I'm sorry so much has happened, but at least you're observant to know its a waste of time to worry about the past." Ben smiled at her hoping she understood him. "You're my friend, and I know you want to keep things personal and private, but if you need to talk, and Rogue's not around, Josh is acting goofy, and everyone else before me is unavailable," Ben chuckled before continuing, "I'm always here. And always will be."

rachel: "I more meant I can't do anything about you seeing that...actually, I could...but I get what you mean." Rachel smirked, "Josh? Goofy? Pfffft. But yeah, I know. Everyone around here would help me if I needed it and so on. Sorry, but I've heard this all before," she grinned.

Ben_Reilly: "That may be, but I need to stress I'm here as well...otherwise I wouldn't be y'know?" Ben grinned. "And thank you for being there for me."

rachel: "Yeah. It was no problem, really," she shrugged. "Would've done it for any of my friends."

Ben_Reilly: "But it's meaningful to me that you did it for me." Ben stressed. "I mean that. And I'm glad you're my friend. I hope we can stay friends forever, like when we're older and shit. T'would be fun to get together with our respective others for like christmas and crap."

rachel: "It's not that big a deal. I didn't do much. Just watched your back, and I'm glad that we're friends, too." She chewed on her lip at the older part, deciding to leave that out since she'd never really thought about if she'd even live that long. "Oh...uh...something else...what exactly happened? Like, the stuff I don't remember?"

Ben_Reilly: "Uh..." Ben's eyes shifted nervously. "What do you remember, lets start with that?"
rachel: "I remember Cletus and holding you both back, then waking up."

Ben_Reilly: "Well..." Ben shifted uncomfortably. "There's the fact that you like tore apart the gun into particles...then his arm, or most of it. That scared the bloody hell out of him I assume..."

Ben_Reilly: "I tried to stop you, but couldn't, and you actually scraped some of my nose here too, see" Ben lifted it so show the missing slice of skin. "And uh, then Cletus had a heart attack. So I knocked you out with my stinger, and pulled you out of the club before you or I did anything else worse." Though I wish I could've done more, Ben said to himself.

rachel: "Oh." Rachel tried to think of something to say, catching the though. That worked. "You did do something. You stopped me from killing someone and possibly actually killing you." She looked at his nose, "Sorry. It's only skin, so it should heal. Just have to worry if anything else flakes away..."

Ben_Reilly: "I really wish he was dead...but he's not. I looked it up and apparently he's like in some insane asylum outside Providence, which is where he's from. Butler Clinic or something. He's all messed up, and I don't think he's gonna be bothering us anymore." Ben frowned. "But I can't guarantee that... He's pure evil at times man, he can come back, and it'll be just when I really don't need his crap I'm sure."

rachel: She gave another shrug. "I really wish my mother was dead, but whatever. Well, I guess that's part of why I don't really get the whole banjo for your mother. Mine wasn't the best, and now I never have to deal with her, so it all works out."

Ben_Reilly: "Well...mine was awesome, and I feel bad that your mom treated you like crap. I hope you get to work this stuff out in therapy and I want you to meet my mom someday, when she wakes up." Ben said when, very confidently.

rachel: "I really don't care, and she was just never there and when she was...ugh," she shook her head, getting up. "And, that'd be cool. She could come here and visit sometime, if she wants. I kinda have to go meet Josh, we have stuff planned for today..."

Ben_Reilly: Ben looked back to his banjo and frowned. "Yeah, me too. I hate to do this cuz this is a good talk, but I gotta go downstairs and work out this song for Rogue. I planned on learning it by the end of the night, and uh...I'm a little behind." He smirked an picked it up. "I'll play the new, er...old but new, banjo for ya sometime."

Ben_Reilly: Wrapping his arms around her he hugged her tightly. "Stay safe okay?"

rachel: Rachel returned the hug, replying as she made her way out the door with him following her, "Yeah, I'll try." Okay, now that she got that cleared up, everything was good, or as close to good as it was going to be for her.

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Josh: Dressed in a plain white T-shirt and red Hawaiian swimtrunks, Josh ambled down the boardwalk, linking his arm with Rachel's. It was the perfect sort of day for a trip to the beach. The air was heavy with warmth and the shore was surprisingly less crowded than he'd expected. He pushed his sunglasses up his nose and looked around. "Where should we lay out the blanket? On the sand, or in the shade?"

rachel: Rachel ran a hand through her hair as she tried to remember the last time she'd worn shorts outside of her house, leaning against Josh slightly. "I dunno. Shade, I guess. That way the sun can't reflect off you, and I don't have to worry about getting burned," she glanced around, grinning. "Never really been to the beach before..."

Josh: "The sun reflects off me?" Josh blinked. "Really? I never realized that..." He stopped in front of a large oak tree and started spreading out their beach blanket. "How come you never went to the beach when you were younger? It was my favorite summer activity. Though we used to drive over to the Jersey shore and spend the weekend by the sea."

rachel: "Just a little, and of course you wouldn't notice. I'm the one that stares at you all day," she sat down on the blanket and shrugged, "I don't know. I never really went anywhere when I was little. The first time I'd ever been out of New York was last summer when I stayed at Kitty's."

Josh: He gave her a weird look. "Staring at me? Rae, do you like me or something?" he asked, backing away. His face broke into a teasing grin. "Well, I'll show you exactly how to have a good time at the beach. And it starts with watermelon."

rachel: Rachel rolled her eyes, "Oh, of course not. I don't like you at all." She raised an eyebrow at good time and decided not to go there, "Watermelon is good."

Josh: "Uh-huh. Watermelon with salt." As he spoke, Josh opened the cooler and pulled out a Tupperware container of seedless watermelon square. He placed it on the blanket with a salt shaker. "It's tradition. Before swimming, we always eat watermelon with salt. They say it's not good to eat before swimming, but - aside from that likely being a myth - it's called watermelon for a reason."

Josh: He stabbed a piece of watermelon with a plastic fork and sprinkled salt on it, then popped it in his mouth. He chewed it and shot her a cheeky grin.

rachel: "Ew," she made a disgusted face and grabbed a piece, skipping out on the salt for the moment, as she popped it in her mouth. "Oh, guess what..." she grinned.

Josh: "You didn't use any salt!" he pouted. "It makes it sweeter!"

Josh: "Guess what...?" he repeated, blinking. "You blew up the crock pot?"

rachel: "I'll maybe use some later." She shook her head, poking her tongue out at him, "No. I'm smart enough to stay away from the crock pot. Anyway, I figured you'd be proud of me...I started therapy the other day..."

Josh: "Okay, so the crock pot's safe, how about the pressure cooker?" Josh teased, leaning over to poke her with his elbow. At her words, his eyes widened. "You did? Really? How did it go?"

rachel: "Yeah, I did, and it was fine. Part of the reason I was waking you up at some horrible hour this morning, actually. Dai told me to write all my nightmares down. So, it's helping." Rachel grinned, moving to poke back, "I try to avoid cooking since, so I'm assuming that's safe, too."

Josh: Josh grinned broadly. "Rae, that's great. That's really awesome for you. You can wake me up anytime if that's the reason." His smile vanished for a second and he glowered at her. "Except after Lost marathons. Then I need my beauty rest."

rachel: "Pfffft, you don't need beauty rest," she rolled her eyes again, snagging another piece of watermelon. "So, what do we do besides eat?"

Josh: "Aw, how kind of you to say," Josh fluttered his eyelashes. He chose another piece of watermelon and stuck it in his mouth. "Well," he began with his mouth full, "we could swim. Or you can suntan and I'll swim. Or... I dunno, build sandcastles?"

rachel: "Yeah, it's amazing. I am nice from time to time," she smirked. Rachel chewed on her lip for a moment, considering the options before slipping out of her shorts and tank top. She got up, glancing at the water before taking off, "Swimming is good. Race you!"

Josh: Josh eyed her flattering swimsuit approvingly. He purposely ran behind her and stared at her the whole way, smirking. As soon as his feet hit the water he turned that grin on her. "So, you win. Want to claim your prize?"

rachel: She smirked, glancing over her shoulder as she waded deeper into the water, "Sure you just don't want a consolation prize?"

Josh: Josh shrugged, following her out. "That depends on what the consolation prize is. And either way, the winner should still get a trophy, or a pony, or something." He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, nuzzling his cheek against her neck.

rachel: "Well, I'd say you're shiny enough to be considered a trophy, so I'd say I don't need anything." Rachel leaned back against him, tilting her head slightly. "Well, what do you want for your prize?" A thought came to her as she glanced over at him, "By the way...dunk me, and I might drown you..."

Josh: "Oh, I see how it is," Josh crossed his arms and turned his back on her. "So I'm just your trophy boyfriend. I'm nothing to you except something pretty to hang on your arm." He waddled off and slipped his whole body into the water.

Josh: No dunking, huh. "Fine, I won't dunk you." He submerged himself fulling and swam underwater until he reached her fight. His hands shot out and he started to tickle mercilessly.

rachel: She shook her head and was going to say something, but then he wasn't behind her anymore. She looked around, deciding she'd play fair and not use her telepathy to figure out where he was and what he was plotting. Rachel jumped at the randomly popping out of the water. Knew that was going to happen...

rachel: "Nooo! Stop!" Rachel squirmed and slid underwater to get away from the tickling.

Josh: Josh had to come up for air when Rachel wiggled out of his grip. "What? I'm trying to claim my prize here," he said, diving after her. "Don't go to far, or the jellyfish will get you!"

Josh: He kicked his legs and swam after her with broad, swift srtokes. Circling around in front of her, he treaded water and shot her an innocent look. "Why are you running away from me? I just want to give you a kiss."

rachel: "The jellyfish aren't going to get me. You wouldn't let them, or I hope you wouldn't..." She nodded, wrapping her arms around him, "Uh huh, of course all you want is a kiss..."

Josh: "You know, I've never tested my powers out on poison..." He waggled his eyebrows and dropped a feather-light kiss on her lips. "Mmm... how was that?"

rachel: Rachel smiled at the kiss, resting her forehead against his, "Nice, and I'd rather not be the reason you have to test them on poison."

Josh: "The feeling's mutual." On an impulse he swept her up into his arms. She was so much lighter submerged in water. He started hefting her into deeper, colder waters. "Hey," he said, pausing briefly to kiss the line of her jaw, then continuining, "do you trust me?"

rachel: Her grip on him tightened, and she let out a small squeak at being lifted up. "You know I do. Why?"

Josh: "Good." He tossed her into the water.

rachel: Blinking, Rachel scowled, pushing him under as she came back to the surface sputtering. "Evil," she coughed.

Josh: Josh got a mouthful of water as she pulled him under and swam back up, coughing. "I was - cough - just giving you your prize!" he retorted, swimming towards her carefully, keeping an eye out for retribution attempts.

rachel: "Yeah, thanks for the mouthful of ocean," she frowned, eyeing him.

Josh: "Salty, ain't it?" He winked at her and came a little closer. "Know what I miss? Squirt guns."

rachel: Rachel's nose wrinkled, and she was pretty sure she knew what this was leading to... "Don't spit on me..."

Josh: Josh stuck his tongue out. "How juvenile do you think I am? I was merely commenting on how much fun a good squirt gun would be right now... like a Super Soaker or something..."

Josh: He turned around and headed back for shore. Once on the sand, he trudged around a little, then bent done and picked something up. "Here. Your real prize," he said, holding out a small, polished shell to her.

rachel: "No more juvenile than me. And, I just skipped the guns. The hose works way better, no reloading," she grinned, following him back. Rachel took the shell and looked it over, going back to the blanket, "Thanks, love."

Josh: He kissed her deeply and pulled her to him. "Any time. You put me in a good mood."

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rachel looked around, trying to see everything, not run into people, and keep track of where Lizzie was. She didn't really feel like being lost...well, not that it would matter considering telepathy and all.... She ran a hand through her hair, still straining to see everything, "So...where are we going exactly?"

Lizzie looked over her shoulder with a grin. "Well, I don't know. What do you wnat to buy?" she dodged some punks, wove around some emos and slowed down to look at some trilbys hung outside a shop. "That one's cute..."

"Um..." she managed to focus on Liz for more than five seconds, "I dunno. I talked to Cess about maybe getting a dress...any clothes work, really, I guess. And, shoes are always nice. Up to you. I'm...still trying to take everything in...and yeah, it is cute..."

Lizzie gave Rae a wondering look, she seemed dizzy or something. "Do you want to sit down or something?" Lizzie asked, holding a hand gently against her elbow to steady her.

"I'm fine. Just not used to everything, y'know?" Rachel shrugged, giving her a grin, "I've never really been out of New York until I went and stayed with Kitty last year, and this is really cool."

"Well, London is smaller than New York, so you should be alright," she grinned and stopped near some food stalls, buying some cans of coke, passing one to Rae. "But, I know what you mean, this place can get a bit...Overwhelming. I love coming here though, even though it can get a bit claustraphobic."

Rachel opened the coke and took a sip, "Yeah, but I don't know London like I know New York. Guess that's where I'm lucky to have you, and I'll tell you if I need to sit or anything."

"So, I was talking to Cess about what to do for Josh's birthday, and she suggested some fancy concert since he likes classical, but I'd have to dress up. And, well, I kinda lack clothes that aren't ripped or torn up...."

"Sure, well, give me plently of warning as there isn't always a handy place to sit here, well, one where you'd want to sit."

Walking on, she considered the shops. "That sounds like a nice idea. We can probably find you something nice, but not too mainstream. There are some pretty upmarket places here, well, for this sort of subculture anyway."

"I'm sure I'll be fine. I've been doing way better than I was, or at least I think so. Therapy's been helping." Rachel looked at some of the shops, "Yeah, we kinda agreed that you'd be able to help. I don't really know what I want though, if that matters. I'm pretty sure you're aware that I don't own a dress."

"I suppose, I never really gave it any thought. I'd take you to where I get my dresses from, but I don't think you'd speak to me again if I did that..."

Slowing down a little again, she sipped her coke thoughtfully. "It's good that therapy is helping you. It sucks, but it's one of those things you just need to keep working on. But, I'm sure you know that."

She smirked, "I'd still speak to you. It'd take more than dresses to get rid of me. Care Bears might work, but I already know probably hate those more than I do." Rachel gave a shrug, glancing around, "Yep. Dai seemed thrilled about it though, and I actually want the help, so it's working out."

"Oh really? Well, I'd wait and meet the people who work in those palces first," she poked her tongue out. "It drives me mad, but...what can you do? I need dresses, so..." swallownig some more coke, Lizzie tucked her fringe behind her ear. "Yeah, that's the key to it, wanting the help. It, well, helps."

"I don't think I want to meet them, but I could deal...I think," Rachel took a sip, eyeing some shops. "It does. The session seems to go more smoothly when I'm willing to cooperate. I have to go see her when I get back."

"Put it this ay, you've been around me when I've gottena call off Anton right?" with an evil smile, she finished her coke, holding on to the can for when she spotted a rare trashcan. "That's cool, but don't dwell on it too much. I'm sure Dai'd rather have you enjoy being here than thinking about sessions..."

She shuddered, "Sadly. He scares me. Yeah, she thinks this trip is good for me. Anyway, what shop?

"There's Fairy Gothmother, or there's this cool corest shop - we could get you a corset and a long skirt. Hmm, or there's this place over nearer the canal..."

"Uh...the place by the canal, maybe? I don't really care. Anywhere's good," she smiled.

"Sure, we'd better corss the road then," she swerved right barely looking both ways before she zipped over the road just before the bridge. "I'm sure we'll find something. If not, there's this vintage place a little futhur down."

"Sounds good. So, is there anything you want to look at?"

"Not really, I'm fine right now," she led Rae through the crowds of people, waving a hand infront of her face from the heat. "It's my birthday soon, so I'll get enough shopping with that," she rolled her eyes. "I dread to think what James and Fran have got me. And Sebastian. He had an odd look in his eye the other night about it."

Rachel finished off the coke, regretting not throwing it away when Liz threw her's away because she hadn't seen a trashcan since that one. "I know what I could get you," she grinned. "So, he's planning something? Fun. I'm not exactly sure if I want to know..."

Giving Rae a look, she smirked. "What, a giant bag of gummy bears? And he's just planning some suprise present or something, nothing to go blind over!"

"The gummy bears hadn't even crossed my mind, so good thing you brought them up," she smirked back. "'Surprise present or something' just seems to scream going blind to me..."

"Oh really? What were you thinking then? And no, it'll be something incredibly expensive that I can show off. Nothing scary."

She shrugged, "Just something I already have. I can give it to you when the semester starts. It's Sith-like. Yeah, that makes me feel a bit better about whatever he's plotting."

Her smirk widening, she headed down an alley. "Well, he probably is planning something along those lines too, but not just because it's my birthday. And you've got my interest now so change the topic quick or I'll be like a dog with a bone on you."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Thanks. I start to feel better, and then you tell me that. I'll never be able to look at him the same way again. On my birthday, I ended up on my ass most of the time because I couldn't ice skate."

"Heck, you probably won't see him much. He only comes to the school once in a blue moon and we might not room together this semester so who knows? Oh I love ice skating! I'll teach you sometime if you still can't!"

"True. Makes me wonder who I'll be rooming with now. Nope, still can't ice skate, so that'd be cool," she grinned, "I was a bit busy afterwards, so I ended up not learning."

"I have a rink I put into the DR, I really like skating," Lizzie grinned. "Or there'll be a place in London if you want to go while we're here..."

Stopping outside a shop, she checked her phone, then looked thoughtful. "Hmm, yeah, I'm wondering too. It's still...odd, being in dorms after I spent a year out of them. At least I have company though, with people around!"

"Here works, and I'm sure I'll have to practice at some point. So, either, really," she shrugged. "DR is nice since it's not in public." Rachel looked at the shop, still grinning, "Yeah. I thought being at home was weird because it was so quiet and no one was around."

"Whatever works for you," pocketing her phone, Lizzie pushed the door to the shop open and headed inside. "I'll have a look at some places online later, we can see if there's anywhere decent..."

"Cool." Rachel looked around the shop, poking through a few things, turning back to Lizzie. "So, just find some stuff I like or whatever? Like I said, I don't know exactly what to look for..."

"Just look, see what catches your eye, really. Favourite colour, the cut..." she waved her hand at the racks. "Just go at it."

"Um, okay," she looked around and settled on a rack to go through, chewing on her lip as she did.

"It's not going to kill you!" Lizzie laughed as she saw the confused way Rae was wandering around, poking at the dresses. "What about...this?" she pulled out a dark blue dress with a halterneck and waved it about.

Looking at the dress she was waving around, Rachel cried dramatically, "Oh! It burns!" She grinned, "I, honestly, have no clue. The color's nice. Not bright, and Josh likes blue. I can always try the stuff on, right?"

Without a word, she pointed towards the fitting rooms at the back of the shop that were on a raised bit, near some bags.

"Yeah, just...pick some things up and try them, it won't kill you!"

"It might. What about this?" she held up a black one, still thumbing through the rack with her other hand.

"Oh, that's nice too," her phone blared into life in her bag and she took a few steps away, pulling it out. "One sec - oh, hi, Anton! Just shopping, no, Rae, Cess went home..."

Rachel looked up from the dresses, catching Anton's name. She shot Liz a horrified look, muttering, "Now, shopping with him for dresses would be the death of me..."

Pulling a face at Rae, she snickered. "Oh, no, no, yeah, we're nowhere near there so it's cool. I woudn't want you to drag yourself over here..."

She went back to looking through the dresses. Liz could handle it....she hoped. "You can tell him I said he really doesn't have to, too..."

"Aw, it would be cool, but yeah, if you're down there...You found anything yet Rae/ Go try it! Yeah, I'll be in next week, Monday wasn't it?"

"Uh..." Rachel shrugged and went to the back of the shop to the fitting rooms to try on the dresses. She debated which one to try on first for a moment, the black one winning since it was...black. She changed into it with some difficulty and stepped out of the room for Lizzie to see.

"Yeah, I have to go, okay bye bye bye!" rolling her eyes, she snapped her phone shut and looked up to see Rae wander out of the fitting room. "Oh, that looks nice! Have a look in the mirror," she pointed to where the mirror was on the wall and stepped up.

She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, smirking, "I dunno. I think I'm in shock from actually seeing myself in a dress. It's not horrible though...and I'm not melting, so that's good..."

"See, it's not too bad, is it. You don't have to wear dresses, but it's good to own at least one, in case, y'know? It suits you, or at least that dress does."

"Yeah, I know. So, now to try on the other one..." Rachel moved back into the fitting room and managed to get the dress Lizzie had picked out on before stepping back out again. "How's this one?" she asked, staring at the mirror again and running a hand through her hair.

"Again, it looks really good, but maybe it's just the shock of seeing you in a dress," folding her arms, she leant up against the wall next to the mirror. "It's up to you really, you pick what you feel best in."

"Could be," she shrugged, glancing from Lizzie to her reflection. "I like the black one a lot, though could be I just lean toward that color."

"Sure, whatever you want. They're both nice, and they do both suit you, but if black'll make you happy, then get the black."

"Black it is then," she went and changed back into her clothes and grabbed the dress, "I'd probably be more likely to wear it again if it's black, too," she grinned.

"You've got it," Lizzie smilled, running her eyes over the shoes. Nooo, she had too many of the stupid things.

"Ready to move on now and go and shop for stuff you actually want?"

Rachel caught Liz eyeing the shoes, "We can look at shoes, if you want. Not like I need anymore either. That's the fun in them. You can never have too many. But yeah, no more dresses."

She blinked, had Rae....? "Well, no, I don't need any, just seeing if they had anything interesting in. We could grab something to eat next, if you like. I'm getting hungry."

"Sure, sounds good."

"Lets get some munchies then! Well...After we pay..." she motioned to the dress. "I doubt you wnat to get deported for shoplifting..."

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Selene: Selene hauled the two humongous shopping bags into the kitchen, but since they obstructed her view, let her run into the table and almost fall over it. Both bags tipped over and spilled a good portion of the assorted contents across the table. "Oh!" Selene scrambled around the table and tried to keep the stuff from rolling off onto the floor.

Selene: An egg escaped her grip and broke on the floor. Selene glared down at the offending splat. "Now, I wouldn't exactly call this a good start."

rachel: Rachel glanced up at the sounds coming from the kitchen and set her notebook and pencil aside, getting up to see what the noises were. As she entered the kitchen area, she raised an eyebrow at the contents of the bags scattered across the table...and apparently splattered on the floor. "You're back," she moved to help Selene gather the stuff back up, "So, what all did you get besides eggs?"

Selene: "Thank you, Rachel. Oh, I did many things. I looked up recipes for cakes and wrote the necessary ingredients on a note before I left." Selene made a face. "Unfortunately, I left it on the drawer in my room on my way out." She took a wet cloth and wiped the splattered egg away. "So, I just bought whatever I thought could possibly go in a cake. But that won't be a problem. We're just going to be creative."

rachel: "No problem," she shrugged. "Well, we could look at the recipe now and see if we have everything it needs. If we don't, maybe we can substitute whatever we need. And creative is good since...well, you've seen my cooking attempts..."

Selene: "Ah, yes, I think I have the recipe printed out." Selene glanced around, wearing an expression of obvious confusion. "Somewhere. But I'm a big friend of creative cooking anyway. And I think I'll remember the basic ingredients. I mean, there are eggs, there's flour, water, and... other things... like those lemons and cucumbers over here. I say we just get a few bowls and see what comes out of it, no?"

rachel: Rachel grinned and looked through the cabinets until she found the bowls, "Works for me. But, I think we should leave the cucumbers out. I can't imagine them being good in cake." She set the bowls on the counter, "Where do we start?"

Selene: "Oh. All right, no cucumbers then." Selene blinked at Rachel for a few seconds. "Perhaps we should take a look at that recipe, after all. But I guess we're starting with the dough." She started to rummage through the ingredients, setting some onions aside. "I remember Lizzie stating that she likes chocolate, so we should try to make a chocolate dough."

rachel: "Yeah, dough would be good since I guess we wouldn't have cake without it. And, chocolate is, like, the best thing ever," she nodded before thinking for a moment, "I wonder if we could make chocolate icing. What do you think? I could go get my laptop and look up how..."

Selene: "Chocolate ice? That sounds delicious. But wouldn't it melt too easily? Oh, no, wait, icing. Would that be something like molten chocolate that goes on top of the cake in the end?" Selene finished sorting things like flour, eggs and milk, plus several blocks of exquisite chocolate. "I think that would be a nice. Yes, but you should better look it up. I can start with the dough in the meantime."

rachel: "Yep, that's the stuff. It's kinda like hot fudge," she replied as she went to grab the laptop, coming back and setting it down while it booted up. She pulled her hair back and looked over the ingredients. "Well, hot fudge is better, but they're basically the same thing."

Selene: "Hm, fudge. Yes, sounds interesting." Selene nodded at Rachel. "I think I've seen a recipe for a fudge cake or something similar earlier. Basically, it had lots of butter, sugar, eggs and cocoa. It was a chocolate cake with white buttercream and several kinds of chocolate dough." She stepped over to Rachel. "Let's see if I can find it again."

rachel: "Sure," she pushed the laptop toward Selene. "That sounds really good though. I'm sure Liz'll love it." If it turned out edible anyway...

Selene: "I hope so." Selene searched through a few sites, until she eventually found the recipe. "There we go. Chocolate fudge cake. Seems like we need both dark chocolate cake dough and white buttercream with cocoa and then somehow mix it all together and make it look appealing. You could start with the cake dough, and I can try my hand at the chocolate buttercream."

Selene: "So, look like you'll need to get boiling water and mix it with some butter, the eggs, vanilla powder, cocoa lots of sugar and some flour. That should somehow produce cake." Selene gave a determined nod. "I'll get the other things ready. All that we need should be in one of those two bags."

rachel: Rachel looked over Selene's shoulder at the page before putting some water on to boil, "Okay, I think I can do that." She looked over the items for a moment and blinked. Right. Had to measure stuff out. She could do that...right? Well, she could try anyway. "So, now that we kinda know what we're doing, how's your summer been?"

Selene: "Very enjoyable, thus far." Selene grabbed a wooden board and started to unpack the chocolate. It would need cutting and melting. "I spent most of the time in Scotland with Rahne and Vic. Fascinating scenery, and a very relaxing countryside. London has been intriguing, as well. I try to see as much of the old city parts as possibly why I'm here. How was your summer so far?"

rachel: "I visited Ben in Boston for a while and went home. Cess and I hung out at my house and watched movies. Then, I went back to school to talk to Rogue, hang out with Josh, and get therapy. So, it's been pretty cool," she smiled.

Selene: "Ah, therapy. That's always delightful." Selene took out a large kitchen knife and started to hack away at the chocolate. Hackity hack, there goes the toe... hackity hack, and a pinky as well. She tossed the chipped chocolate in a bowl and looked at Rachel. "So, did it help you? Judging by that smile of yours, it did, yes?"

rachel: "Oh yeah, it's exciting." She worked on mixing the stuff together in the bowl with the hot water. "Well, it is helping. I haven't really done much yet. I've just talked to Dai about ways to deal with my nightmares, so I guess I'm getting there."

Selene: "Sounds like a good thing to me." Selene gave Rachel a nod before pouring the chocolate into a pot bit by bit, slowly melting it. Adding the other ingredients of the chocolate cream, she took it from the stove. "So far, so good. I've heard you're going to leave the same day as me? Will you go back to the school, or someplace else?"

rachel: Rachel found a spoon and started stirring the mixture, chewing on her lip, "Yeah, I am. I'm going back to the school. Josh's birthday is pretty soon after we get back, and I'd be coming back for the new semester anyway. Plus, home is too boring."

Selene: "Oh. I see." Selene stirred the mixture for a while. "Well, I guess in my case, the school equals home. But i won't return yet. This Amara girl invited me to come to her home in Italy, so I will do that. Italy is known for its fascinating cities, culture and history. It should be enjoyable." She took a look at the recipe, then at the pot. "It says that the cream has to cool off for a while."

Selene: "I'll just put in the fridge. We can make the dark and the white chocolate dough in the meantime." Selene rummaged through the bags again, finding more blocks of chocolate. "Hm, I found eggnog. We could add that one, too. And here's some sweet syrup, too."

rachel: "Italy would be cool, and Amara's okay," she grinned. Rachel finished stirring the dough she'd been working on, ready to go on to make the next kind. Her and Mara weren't on great terms since that fight, but they got along well enough, so it was all good. "Those should both be good. What should I do with the chocolate dough since it's finished? Just leave it til we finish the other ones?"

Selene: "Yes, I think it needs to settle, too." Selene nodded again. "When all the ingredients are ready, it has to cool off for a few hours before we can mix it together." She handed Rachel some of the chocolate. "It's basically the same as we did before, just so that we get different kinds of dough. Simply toss in everything that you think would taste good with white chocolate."

Selene: "And yes, I think Amara is quite pleasant company. She seems to be friendly." Selene frowned. "Even though I'm surprised that she invited me to her home already. After all, she barely knows me." She gave Rachel a questioning look. "Do you think there's a reason for me to distrust her?"

rachel: Rachel took the chocolate and started the same process she had with the other dough. She mulled the question over for a moment, "I dunno if I'm the best person to ask that, but I think she's okay. Pretty sure she won't do anything or something."

Selene: "Ah, good to hear." Selene tilted her head and proceeded to cut up some more chocolate, then melted it together with the rest of the ingredients to create more creamy dough. "I hope Lizzie will like this cake we're leaving her. It looks quite sweet though. But I also got her something else for her birthday the other day. Do you think she'll like a silver armband?"

rachel: She smiled and nodded, "Oh yeah, I'm sure she'll like it, along with the cake. I'm going to get her something when I get home and give it to her when she comes back to the school."

Selene: "Ah, yes, that's a good idea, too. I bought this armband in Camden Market the other day. It's silver with some small rubies. It should suit her well, methinks." Selene frowned. "I thought about leaving it her with a handwritten note."

rachel: "It sounds really nice. That works. Really, I'm just giving mine to her when she comes back to school is 'cause I already have half of what I'm going to give her. Just need to buy the other thing."

Selene: "Yes, I'm certain she'll appreciate it." Selene set the pot of creamy chocolate aside. "I guess now it is waiting time until the cream is thick enough so that we can assemble something cake-like. And possibly add one of those icings you suggested." She frowned, looking at all the pots filled with sweet cream. "And hope that Lizzie does not contract instantaneous diabetes when she tries it."

rachel: Rachel snickered as she finished her pot, "Guess so. We should probably wash some of the dishes we aren't using anymore, too. Less work later, and somehow we have to keep Lizzie from knowing..."

Selene: "Yes, that seems to be a good idea." Selene looked around, seeing that quite a bit of the cream had landed on the floor and the furniture because of their stirring. "It might also give away the surprise. But I guess it would have been a bigger surprise for Lizzie if we had burned down her kitchen, like I had initially feared we would."

rachel: "I think if we burned her kitchen down, she'd have a reason to use her pink mind knife of doom," she smirked, glancing around at the mess as she decided where to start. Rachel glanced at the clock to make sure they were good on time, too. It might be kinda bad if Liz walked in and there was cream everywhere. She grabbed a cloth and started wiping some off the surfaces.

Selene: "I would not like to have her angry at me. It's of her to let us stay at her place." Selene grabbed another cloth and wiped the table clean, then glanced at the clock, too. "We're going to have some time before we can continue with the cake. Do you have any time who we could possibly pass it?"

rachel: "Yeah, I really wouldn't want her to be angry at me either." Rachel chewed on her lip, trying to think of something, "Well, I'm sure Liz has some good movies or we could always go walk around...though that might result in us getting lost..."

Selene: "I'm all for getting lost. Life is most fascinating when you have no idea where you're headed." Selene smirked at Rachel. "Besides, we can watch movies back at school. So I'd vote for exploring London some more. How about Hyde Park? It shouldn't be that crowded over there. And besides, we still have our cell phones to call Lizzie for help."

rachel: Rachel grinned, "Sounds cool to me, and hopefully we can find our way back ourselves."

Selene: "If we won't, we can just go on. From my experience, it doesn't matter which way you're going. Go far enough, and you'll find something interesting."

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Rahne: Rahne pushed open the door to the cafe, "This place is really nice, I came here jus' before goin' back up to Scotlan' wit' Selene, they do great cookies," she said, smiling to Rachel, holding the door for the shorter girl.

Rahne: She brushed back her hair and looked around, still the same fearful looks as well " ... Umm ... Selene did this psychic trick too where naeone paid any attention to how ... funny lookin' I am ...?" She added in a whisper.

rachel: "Cookies are awesome," Rachel smiled and followed Rahne into the cafe, nodding, "Oh yeah, I can do that." She chewed on her lip as she focused on making Rahne appear normal to everyone else. She glanced around the place, pretty sure the illusion was working. "That better?"

Rahne: Everyone's eyes seemed to glaze and they turned back to thier seats, ignoreing them. Rahne let out a little relieved sigh and lead them over to a pair of squishy armchairs, "Than's," she muttered, smiling at Rachel, "it's handy havin' yer psychic's aroun'."

Rahne: She sat down one on chair, "Tha witress'll be over in a sec," she gestured to the other chair, "So how're thin's, yer break been as interestin' as min' so far?" She smiled toothily.

rachel: "No problem," she sat down in the other chair and sat back with a grin, "I doubt that it has. I don't think anything I've done so far tops getting engaged...well, besides me buying a dress, maybe. Otherwise, not much. Just hanging out with people."

Rahne: Rahne lifted her eyebrows "A dress? Yer? Willin'ly?" She chuckled, "Well, tha soun's like fun, I've been buzzin' aroun' like a blue-arsed fly gettin' everythin' sorted, luckily I've foun' a church tha's willin' to marry us," she glanced down at her engagment ring.

rachel: "Yeah, willingly," she poked her tongue out, "Liz helped me...though I guess that'd be kinda obvious since I'd probably still be lost in Camden Market without her. That's cool, so do you know when or anything yet?"

Rahne: "Oh, nae we've got a date sorted, an' a place. It's tha main church in Elgin, my mam looked like she'd die from happiness when I said we was havin' a proper, presbytarian service ... an' we've even got a date," she looked shyly down, "December tha 11th ..."

Rahne: A waitress came over to take thier order, "Pot o' tea an' a plate o' cookies please ... Rae?"

rachel: Rachel ordered coffee, remembering how nice it was to not be a waitress anymore. "That's awesome and really close to my birthday," she smiled.

Rahne: The waitress when off to see to thier order, "Aye? Groovy," Rahne smiled, "Well we didn't wanna wait an' that gives us enough' time to get sorted an' still have a nice lon' honeymoon an' be home in time fer Christmas."

rachel: "The seventeenth," she nodded. "Also when Josh and I got together, the first time, but that'll be really nice and everything. So, done anything else besides get engaged and planned?"

Rahne: Got dragged into the seedy underbelly of the Vice world and gone behind my fiancee's back to make arrangements to deal with it ... Was what Rahne thought, but she just smiled and shrugged at Rachel, "Nae really, nice an' borin' an' relaxin' after everythin' ..."

Rahne: The waitress brought over thier order and Rahne started to pull herself a cup of tea, "Oh, heh ... did Sel tell yer wha' she got me fer a presen' by tha way?"

rachel: Rachel took a sip of her coffee, raising an eyebrow, "No, she didn't. What'd she get you?"

Rahne: Rahne pulled out her mobile phone, selected a photo she'd taken of Selene helping Duncan feed her new pet and wordlessly passed it over.

rachel: She took the phone and took the phone from her and looked at the picture, grinning, "A turtle? That's awesome.'" She handed the phone back, snagging a cookie from the plate to nibble on.

Rahne: "A gian' lan' turtle tha she stole from a zoo an' used her mental powers to get on tha plane ... I had to do some very fast talkin' to explain tha to my folks. Yer shouldda heard my mam shriek when she wen' ou' to feed tha chicken's an' saw him lookin' at her from tha flowerbed." Rahne chuckled and sipped her tea.

rachel: "Sounds like something Selene could pull off," she snickered, "I can see how a giant turtle would be a bit surprising."

Rahne: "It was ... a bit o' a shock. At tha party she said tha it was time to give me my presen' an' she gave me this lettuce ... an' this bein' Selene I though that was it."

Rahne: "Nope, she used her powers to make a table walk o'er wit' tha turtle on tha top o' it .... he's called Filbert .... I was pretty drun' by this poin' so I though' it was tha bes' thin' ever." Rahne laughed, "I was huggin' it."

rachel: "Oh, nice. That sounds cool. I wish I could've come, but I was in Boston and getting back to New York and everything," she shrugged, "And just a piece of lettuce from Selene wouldn't be all that surprising considering...well, it's her..."

Rahne: "Aye ... she's a funny one. She's one o' my bridesmaids an' is helpin' me wit' tha weddin' plannin' ... she has some ... unique ideas shall we say?" Rahne picked up a cookie and nibbled it.

rachel: "I bet she does. We made a cake for Liz for her birthday as a surprise. That was fun...even though we had to clean...a lot by the time we'd finished, but it turned our okay," she grinned. "Didn't set anything on fire either."

Rahne: "Ye didn't? Well done." Rahne looked thoughtful for a moment, she knew Selene's rather ... eclectic approach to cooking, "Wha sorta cake did it turn ou' to be?"

rachel: "It's chocolate. Tons of chocolate. Like the dough is white, milk, and dark chocolate and there's chocolate icing."

Rahne: "No lemons?"

rachel: "Nope, though I did have to say cucumbers probably wouldn't go well in cake..."

Rahne: "None? I'm suprised, though lemon cakes is quite nice," Rahne drank some more tea, "Cucumbers on tha o'er hand ... when yer gonna give her tha cake ... an' how're yer keepin' it hidden from Lizzie?"

rachel: "Well, she bought some at the store. Not sure if they were for her or the cake though," Rachel gave a shrug and grabbed another cookie. "We're keeping it in the fridge and distracting Liz whenever she goes to the kitchen. She probably knows something is up, but hopefully she'll find it after we both leave."

Rahne: Rahne smiled, "Tha's really nice Rae, i'm sure she'll appriciate it." She swilled the dredges in her cup, "How's she doin' these days?"

rachel: She finished her coffee, "She's okay, I think. Better than she was anyway."

Rahne: "Aye? Good, it'd been hard fer her ..." She drained her cup.

rachel: "Yeah," she glanced into the empty cup, "So, now what? Since we're out of cookies and everything. Like, do you have to be anywhere soon? Or can you hang out some more?"

Rahne: "I ain't really got anythin' to do today, I can hang." Rahne smiled and adjusted an earing, "We coul' have a wander if yer'd like, I'm wearin' sensible shoes today!" She waved a sandled foot at Rachel.

rachel: Rachel grinned, "Cool. And wandering is good. Selene and I wandered around for a bit while Liz was out."

Rahne: "Cool, shall we do tha then? Yer coul' show me where yer got yer dress from?" Rahne grinned.

rachel: "Yep, sounds good. And sure, I'm pretty sure I remember where I got it."

Rahne: "Groovy," Rahne stood up, "Let's get goin'."

[tears~fall~like~glass]

Josh: Josh stood in the doorway a minute, grinning from ear to ear in a very un-Josh manner. The muscles in his cheeks conspired against his every attempt to pull his mouth into a frown. That might have had something to do with the simply stunning work of art before him. A work of art that happened to be his girlfriend.

Josh: "Damn, Rae. You look... like something that could only be described be someone much more eloquent than me," he breathed, trying not to seem too giddy. "Beautiful."

rachel: Rachel shot him a grin before taking the rings out of her lip and eyebrow and messing with her hair a bit more, "Thanks, and you don't look that bad." She adjusted the dress, feeling slightly awkward in it, "So, I take it you're ready to go?"

Josh: "Not quite." Bending down, he kissed her on the forehead, then on the lips. "Thank you. I don't deserve you."

rachel: She returned the kiss and rolled her eyes, "Yes, you do. And happy birthday. Now, let's go..."

Josh: "We could not go," Josh leered, trailing after her with his hands clasped behind his back. "We could stay home and I could explore that pretty little dress of yours... It's not every day I see you so dressed up."

rachel: "Or we could go because these tickets weren't exactly cheap, and I don't get to see you dressed up everyday either," she glanced over her shoulder at him and made sure she had the keys, smirking, "If you're good, you can explore when we get back...maybe sooner."

Josh: "Okay, okay," Josh headed out the door into the warm evening air. "I'll be extra good. For a while," he added, tossing her a look over his shoulder. "So, enlighten me, oh beautiful one. What are these tickets for?"

rachel: Rachel climbed into the car after unlocking the doors, sticking the key in the ignition, "Well...they're for a concert that you'll hopefully enjoy, and that will probably make me want to slam my head against the wall repeatedly." She turned down the volume before starting the car, so there wouldn't be any surprise screams. "I'm fairly sure you can guess what type of concert..."

Josh: "A concert that I will enjoy, but will cause you to drill a bunch of holes in your head," Josh mused, tapped his chin as he slipped in the shotgun seat. "It's gotta be either a classical concert or a strip joint."

rachel: "Classical," she shuddered as she started the car and put it in gear. "This dress isn't helping the urge to hit my head either..."

Josh: "That's a good thing. I would hope it would deter you." He gave her a cheeky grin. "I think you'll be surprised. Classical music is so much more emotive and touching when played live. This is the best birthday present ever, Rae."

rachel: Glancing over at him for a second, Rachel gave a shrug, "I wasn't really sure what to do actually. Cess gave me the idea, and Liz helped me pick out the dress." She smiled, "It's no problem. You took me out on my birthday...though that was kinda different..."

Josh: "Yeah, really. I can't believe you set the bar this high. I'm gonna have to really impress you for your twenty-first..." He mulled over it for a minute, shooting her a sidelong glance. "Uh, Rae..."

rachel: "Trust me. You don't have to try all that hard to impress me, and I don't really need anything anyway." She chewed on her lip, which felt odd without the rings, as she made turn, "Yeah?"

Josh: "... To compromise, how about you pick what we listen to on the way?"

Josh: Not what he'd been about to say at all. He opened her CD case and started flipping through, aiming for casual. Maybe she wouldn't notice the way he'd paused like that.

rachel: "Atreyu is already in, unless you want to pick something else," she turned the volume up a little. It was no where near as loud as it'd been earlier. Her eyebrow raised, not quite sure she wanted to know what he'd been going to say, "So...that's not what you were going to ask..."

Josh: Josh squeezed his eyes shut. Ugh, she'd noticed. Telepaths. "Ah," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "it's nothing, nothing... I was just thinking about something Ben said..." No use in putting it off now. He shouldn't have brought it up; now it would weigh on her mind too, and there was nothing he could do about that. "About Boston..."

rachel: Rachel looked at him, trying to think of what Ben could have told him that she....fuck. "It's not nothing if it's bothering you, Josh." She took in his expression and reached over to grab his hand, "What'd he say about Boston?" Yeah, she'd have to talk to him after this.

Josh: Josh sighed, letting his shoulders drop. "Something to do with you, his mom, a shooting..." He tried to keep his voice indifferent but ended up sounding more cold. "Funny, you didn't mention any of those details."

rachel: "It's not my job to tell you about his mother, just like I didn't tell him about your brother..."

rachel: She frowned at the shooting, not really wanting to point out how close that bullet had been to her head. A little more to the left, and she'd have been gone. "Yeah, there was a shooting. No big deal since Ben and I are okay."

Josh: His jaw clenched. "I know you didn't tell him about Jimmy. I'm grateful for that. But it is a big deal. Especially after everything that happened with - before," he amended. "Not that you did it. I know by now you'll do whatever you want. The problem is you didn't tell me. I had to hear it from Ben - who assumed you'd already told me, by the way."

rachel: "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry about it. You worry about me enough, and you have your own problems. You don't need mine. Plus, it was taken care of. Did Ben also tell you that he almost killed the guy that shot at me?

rachel: She sighed, trying to remember everything that happened after that, "And, I guess, he assumed I told you since he gave me the phone and dialed your number for me because I was freaking out and complaining that I wanted to see you. He doesn't know I hung up."

Josh: "Your problems are my problems," Josh protested heatedly. "Come on, Rae, we've been around this block before. This thing of ours isn't going to work if we go on keeping secrets."

Josh: He lifted his hand to push through his hair, but caught himself in time, remembering how carefully he'd gelled it. "Ben mentioned something about trying to 'annihilate' a guy... I got the feeling it was bad." His voice grew softer. "You hung up, huh..."

rachel: "Yeah, I hung up. It was kinda late, and I don't really know what I would've said," she gave a shrug, "If I was going to tell you I almost died, I wouldn't do it over the phone. And, I stopped Ben...I think. Gets fuzzy around there."

rachel: Rahcel let out a breath, "Fine. We went to go talk to this guy for Ben's banjo, which I still have no clue why he'd want it, and this guy grabbed me by the arm, and I punched him in the face. It kinda went bad from there, but basically I was almost shot in the head."

Josh: Josh nodded, understanding about the phone. His eyes widened at her story. "Dangit... why did they attack you? Ben said something about mobsters?"

rachel: "They were mobsters, I guess, and I don't know. They wanted us to leave? I don't really care either." She leaned back into the seat after parking and glanced at the clock. Early. That was just her luck. "I'm..." she took a breath, "I'm...sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't think it was all that important since Ben and I are okay and it's not a problem anymore..."

Josh: Josh's expression softened. He reached over to put a comforting hand on Rachel's shoulder. "Everything that involves you is important to me. But it's okay. Thanks for telling me. And I'm really glad you're all right."

rachel: Rachel covered his hand with hers and cast him another glance with a slight smile, "I love you." Her gaze flicked from him to the clock and back as a smirk slowly formed, "Y'know we're early..."

Josh: "I love you too," he said, smirking and turning to glance out the window. "Early? Really? Bummer. Whatever will we do..."

rachel: "I know. Early. It's amazing." Grinning, she carefully slid out of her seat and onto his lap. She silently cursed the dress as she moved, thinking of how much easier the shift would've been if she was wearing pants. "Well, we could sit here and do nothing..."

Josh: Grinning like a six-year-old with a lollipop, Josh wrapped his arms around Rachel's waist and leaned forward so their noses could touch. "Define nothing, hmm?" he said, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

rachel: Rachel leaned into him, kissing back as she slipped her arms around him. "Mmm. You're birthday, you define nothing," she mumbled against his lips.

Josh: "You know -" he began around kissing his way down her jawline, "Ben said - he might ask me - to help his mother -"

rachel: "And?" she tilted her head, reminding herself not to mess with his hair since it took him so long to get it like that.

Josh: "Just thought I'd let you know. I'm a little nervous about it." He pulled her against him, running his hand along the smooth silk of her dress.

rachel: Rachel pressed her lips to his before lying her head on his shoulder and snuggling into him, "It'll be okay. I'll be there if you want...well, that kinda applies all the time, but you know what I mean..."

Josh: "Mmm. Thanks." His lips curved in a pout. "I want to be able to mess up your pretty clothes. Is it still too early to go back home?"

rachel: "Yeah, it is, but I promise you can as soon as we get home," she grinned, "We should probably go in sometime though. Sooner we get in there, sooner we can leave."

Josh: "Then what are we waiting for?" Josh pushed the door open. "The sooner the better!"