1/30 Game: Trimming Your Bush

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Starfish
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1/30 Game: Trimming Your Bush

Post by Starfish »

Timeline: Friday, Feb. 3, 2012.


Darren: Darren stood nervously next to the line up of innocent hedges, eyeing the ... uhh ... implements with trepedation. Lorna had staggered up to him, spoken what he was sure was a rite from the Necronomicon and he'd found himself out here half an hour later for 'art class'.

Lorna: Lorna stepped blearily out, the last of the chainsaws in hand as she headed for the lines of hedges. She gave a nod to Darren. "Fraaar." Okay, so wine on sunday was a bad idea. It was a stupid idea. It was not an idea to be done when there were chainsaws on monday.

Mayhem: Mayhem's tail flicked back and forth as he eyed up the shrubbery. He was already in a bad mood because he hadn't been able to take a shower, thanks to someone icing the damn pipes. But a chainsaw...heh. That was going to make everything better. Oh yeah.

Darren: "... Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn?" Darren replied, making the sign of the holy horns.

Bobby: Sun... sun was bright. Why was he here again? Oh yeah... he dropped his load of chainsaws and swayed gently in the cold breeze.

Selene: Selene felt creative that day, and so had shown up to the scheduled art class wearing a quite old-looking steel helmet. She figured that any form of art recommending the use of body armor was perfectly suited for her.

Mayhem: "And the great god Om, my lover." Mayhem made them back.

Lorna: "...Yeaaaah?" She wasn't sure so she just nodded at Darren and pushed her goggles down properly from her head. "Okay!" Oh, oh god, own voice loud. Why were you doing that, own voice. "Everyone gather around." Bad voice!

Hepzibah: Hepzibah's tail flicked curiously as she saw a group gathering on the lawn and smelled the unmistakable scent of motor oil. Her furred ruffed up against the cold as she wandered over.

Mayhem: He adjusted the old flight helmet and tapped the veteran goggles as he ambled over, hands in pockets, tail still ticking irritably as he crouched. Lorna stunk of hangover. Oh boy.

Bobby: He'd never noticed before that Lorna's voice had a tone... like a siren. Not the good, naked on a rock kind either.

Darren: "Ff-tang, ff-tang," Darren muttered, checking to make sure no star-spawn or mi-go were about to jump out of the trees.

Selene: Selene joined the group on the lawn, her eyes slightly widening in a curious manner as she spotted the chainsaws; and kept on staring at them.

Hector: Hec followed Hepz, "Oh right... Art class.... Are those chain saws?..." He grinned as he stepped closer.

Hepzibah: "Art class? Are you serious??" She slipped an arm around Hec's waist. Boy - I've been skipping too many classes.

Selene: "Looks more like a fencing class to me," Selene remarked, leaning over the chainsaws.

Lorna: "Today we are making decorations for Valentine's Day since there will be the usual dance and fornication." Wait, that could not be okay to say in class. "Anyway, everyone put on your protection...er...gloves, goggles, that stuff I've laid out over there. I hope you've all listened when I said wear decent shoes today."

Darren: "How about circus skills? Juggling with chainsaws, throw you in at the deep end," Darren smirked as he sidled over to Selene.

Anna: Anna hurried across the lawn looking around nervously, outside was really big-looking today. She shuffled up to the class and tried not to pay attention to the open space.

Bobby: "Fornication..." Bobby grinned, then realized this wasn't his class so should shut up.

Mayhem: Mayhem looked at his odd-shaped feet. "Yeah. 'Bout that." He smirked. Alone for Valentine's. No different than every other year, then.

Darren: "Mmmm fornication ..."

Hector: "I don't typically use protection for fornication." He grinned, "Little messy that way." He grabbed a pair of goggles and gloves for good measure and put them on.

Selene: "Fornication and chainsaws," Selene mused, putting on a thoughtful expression for a moment. "That's a potent mix."

Mayhem: "You mean Hepzi's gonna have kittens someday, Hec?" Mayhem leered, winking.

Darren: "Waaaaaaait a minute," Darren raised his hand, "Mrs. Drake, did you just give the go ahead for a valentine's day orgy?" he asked, perfectly innocent.

Selene: "Will there be a class announcement for that, too," Selene asked, glancing up.

Hepzibah: Hepzibah couldn't help laughing at Hec's remark. "Better be glad you got a girlfriend who can't get knocked up then," she winked at him. She turned and watched Mayhem stared down at his feet and put her own bare, feline hind claws next to his. "Should we make a comment on the feet issue?" she smiled.

Bobby: "We'll be attending the special staff orgy." Bobby nodded. Wait, that included Chuck. "No. No, there's no wheelchairs in orgy town."

Anna: Anna chewed her lip, "If anyone accidentally severs a limb have no fear..." she tossed in, eyeing the equipment. Oh this was a bad idea.

Lorna: Fucker. "I hold no delusions for what goes on. I know you all too well and know some peole will be trying for it. Just don't mess up my hedges and put your pants on."

Lorna: "Er...the safety pants.." God, this didn't get any better, did it?

Hector: "Ha... yeah, not any time soon, that's for damn sure." He grinned as he listened to Lorna stumble her words. "Bad night teach?"

Lorna: "There's no Farouk in orgytown, either. Right?" Lorna said in hushed, quick tones to Bobby.

Darren: "More like I can't knock up any girl," Darren gave Lorna a wide grin, "So dry-humping on the lawn is okay then?"

Bobby: Bobby's eyes widened. "Oh, God no..." But now he had the image! Oh God!

Anna: "Wow now I remember why I avoid classes....." Anna muttered shaking her head.

Hepzibah: "Farouk is damn near big enough to be a town," she shuddered at that mental image

Mayhem: Mayhem gave Hepz a small smile. "Reckon we could get 'em on specism?" He lifted the hat, and ran a hand through his hair. "No worries there, lover, no one for this lonely lion."

Selene: Selene picked up some of the additional protective gear and eyed it suspiciously. "Because of the pants," Selene asked Anna, trying to figure out how to put all that stuff on in a somewhat graceful manner.

Darren: Darren wrapped his arm around Selene, "Except for me, I don't make a mess, does this mean I get special pantless privileges?"

Lorna: "Not now, it's not Valentine's day. Don't ruin the magic now!" Lorna called out, strapping her own safety gear on...though her last Christmas time rampage with the chainsaws were rather safety-less. Whoops. "Okay, what we do first...check your hedges for squirrels. That's a nasty surprise if there are squirrels."

Anna: "No Sel... because of all the dirty conversation...." Anna shook her head. She sat down on the lawn. Chainsaws. Good Lord.

Bobby: Bobby looked over at Darren, overhearing something he didn't want to know.

Mayhem: Mayhem eyed up the gloves and left them alone in favour of his fingerless leather ones, then looked longingly at the chainsaws. "Squirrels, eat 'em. Gotcha."

Hepzibah: "Squirrels?" Hepz passed on the goggles. "Where's Kyle when we need him?" she laughed, reaching out to expirementally shake the hedge.

Lorna: "If you don't mind sprigs in bad places go right ahead and be pantless, Darren." Lorna turned to her hedge in front of the other hedges...and started beating it profusely. She was checking for squirrels.

Darren: Darren shrugged, pressed a kiss to the side of Selene's head before picking up his own chainsaw and movingover to his hedge, since the healer-type had shown up he was feeling a lot less nervous and a lot more like his normal, little shitish self.

Mayhem: Mayhem started making his way to his own hedge, scooping a chainsaw up on his way past and tossing it from hand to hand, whistling merrily as he did.

Darren: He crouched down next to his hedge, grabbed the central trunk and used his super strenght to give it a violent shaking.

Hector: Hec reached out for his hedge and shifted his field onto the branches and leaves, and just looked inside instead of shaking. Seeing nothing he let it become visible again and helped Hepz with hers.

Hepzibah: "I've heard of beating the bushes - but...Damn, lady!" Hepz pulled her hand back before Lorna smacked it in her zeal to de-squirrel the hedge.

Selene: "I wouldn't mind," Selene replied, putting on the goggles before slipping into the too large gloves. "The others might, though. Besides, making a mess is just that much more fun, so you have little to worry, I guess."

Lorna: Squirrel free, all was right int he world. Lorna stepped back, watching the others. "You don't just beat around it."

Anna: "Er... Professor Drake... is it alright if I just watch?" Anna pulled her knees to her chest and looked up at Lorna from her seat on the floor.

Bobby: There was nothing to lean on this far out in the lawn. All the good trees were too far away. He flopped onto the ground, head pounding too much to notice all the bush talk.

Darren: Unfortunatly the violent shaking released a violent bird, which fluttered around him furiously and started to peck at his head, "Yaaaah!"

Hepzibah: "Anna? You don't feel like mutilating the shurbery today?" Hepz grinned at her as she gave Hec a kiss for his help in de-squirreling her hedge.

Lorna: "You don't want to?" Lorna looked disapponted. "Youre going to miss out on all the fun! We still need you though. Accidents happen, after all."

Mayhem: He stared at his bush intently, before sighing. No scent of squirrels. "Damnit."

Anna: Anna shook her head, "Feeling a littler... anxious... not good with chainsaws.... given my tendancy to explode when I'm nervous...." She chewed her lip a little.

Darren: Darren flailed at the bird and backed away, "Fuck off! Fuck off!"

Lorna: "Just punch the bird." Lorna suggested, watching the issue at hand.

Selene: "Accidents," Selene asked, trying to look not too mischievous. "Ah, right, I guess those happen, too."

Anna: "I don't mind watching..." Anna told Lorna, "Just would rather not have a chainsaw.... just in case...."

Hepzibah: Hepzibah laughed as she watched Darren being attacked. Oh - if only Jay were able to see this!

Darren: "Fucking-" Darren formed his hand into the gun shape, "fuck off!" he fired off a blast, narrowly missing the bird but blasting the top of the nearest tree, "... oops."

Lorna: "Perfect!" Lorna cheered for Darren. "Now just make it look like a swan."

Selene: "Wait, I can get the bird," she called out and stepped over to the nearest chainsaw. While she tried to find out how to turn it on, Darren had already obliterated the scenery.

Anna: Anna flinched at the gunshot and just about managed to stay solid.

Darren: "... Well at least it got rid of the bird," Darren grinned ... did he just get staff permission to blow up trees? "A swan teach?" he took aim, grinning manically, "no problem ..."

Lorna: "A pretty swan or else your grade will suffer."

Hector: Hec watched in rapt facination as Darren shot the tree and took aim again. "Damn I wish I could do something like that sometimes..." He grinned.

Anna: Anna whimpered and curled up a little on the lawn. Loud noises were not her friend.

Bobby: Despite the noise, Bobby soon started snoring softly.

Selene: "Could you make a vulture, too?" Selene picked up the chainsaw and swung it around a bit, trying her best to keep all the protective gear in place.

Lorna: "I see nothing wrong with a Valentine Vulture."

Mayhem: "I'm pretty capable of destruction as I am." Mayhem grinned, snapping down his goggles and picking up the chainsaw. "Y' know, Dad never let me use one of these back home. Dunno why." He grinned maniacally.

Darren: "Riiiiiiight," Darren fired off a few smallish shots, blowing different parts of the tree off till they formed a rough swan shape, his art grade was at stake!

Lorna: "Beautiful!" Lorna quite approved. Let's just hope Chuck doesn't notice. "Okay everyone, please select a chainsaw you are comfortable holding."

Darren: "Um, that okay Lorna? I'll have to chop it with sheers or something to get it smoother?" He morphed his hands into something like Edward Scissorhand's and waved them.

Mayhem: Mayhem hefted his. Yup, real comfortable. "I'm good."

Hepzibah: Hepzibah leaned over to Hector. "Is it too late for you to invisi us and let us sneak off back to your room?" she whispered in his ear as she watched Darren's creative interpretation of hedge trimming.

Selene: "People already distrust me when I wield scissors," Selene remarked, looking her instrument of floral destruction up and down. "I'm inclined to believe that's the reason why I was suggested to pick the poetry class instead."

Lorna: "You can trim after class. I'd hate for you to miss the chainsaw times." She grinned at Edward Scissorhands. "That's pretty awesome though."

Hector: "They know we are here already..." He whispered back. "Might be able to sneak off for a bit once we get started for a little halftime break though..." He grinned and went to grab one of the chainsaws.

Anna: Anna uncurled a little now that all the shooting was over.

Darren: "That's 'cos you always run with them, babe," Darren winked at her and then turned back to Lorna, "... can I be my own chainsaw, I promise to keep the Evil Dead jokes to a minimum?"

Selene: "Still, I think it's important that everyone contributes to this important task," Selene continued, waving the chainsaw as she turned to look at everyone. "After all, a strike against the hedge is a strike against the local squirrel population. We can't allow them to gain more ground, can we?"

Lorna: "Have you forgotten who you're talking to? Joke away!" Lorna selected her chainsaw, striking a pose with it. "Okay, who here doesn't know how to start their chainsaw?"

Mayhem: Mayhem raised his hand (with the chainsaw in it). "Never used one."

Anna: Anna shuffled back away from the hedges.

Hepzibah: Hepzibah morphed to a human appearance. The last thing she wanted was to be brushing bits of bark and leaves out of her fur. But with the bitter cold, she morphed right back. "Damn, it's cold out here!" Hepz picked up a chainsaw and looked at it doubtfully. "I've never used one of these either."

Selene: "That's a beautiful tree-bird," Selene told Darren, standing next to him. "You definitely need to try other animals later." She turned to look at Lorna. "I don't. I was never allowed to handle one."

Lorna: "Okay, watch and learn." Lorna grabbed hold. "Now, this is the choke lever. We want it at full." She demonstrated.

Hector: "I'm good, used to have to cut firewood for mom." He messed with the controls on his, and got Hepz's set. "Pretty easy babe, just hold this trigger here" He demonstrated, "And then pull this cord here real hard." He yanked it to show her, making a face as it didn't go his first try.

Darren: Darren grinned and morphed his right hand into a chainsaw ... then after a moment's thought morphed into Ash's outfit from the second movie.

Mayhem: Mayhem frowned as he did as Lorna showed.

Lorna: "Second, if your Darren, you provide yourself with proper zombie hunting attire." She nodded to her assistant. "Second for everyone else though, We lock the throttle in place."

Selene: Selene curiously watched what Lorna did, fidgeting with her tool in similar way. "Is that how you set it to maximum dismemberment capability?"

Lorna: "Yes, yes it is."

Anna: "Please don't dismember if you can help it....." Anna put in.

Darren: Darren studied his chainsaw hand and grinned, "Groovy."

Hepzibah: "You cut firewood?" She chuckled and watched Hector and took a turn at pulling the cord. After a few tries and being cussed at profusely, the chainsaw revved to life. "Now what?!" she yelled over the engine.

Lorna: "You're a few steps ahead of the rest of us. You just wait." Lorna called out to Hepzibah over the roar. "Next, move your unit to the on position...which some of us all ready figured out. It looks like an l. And nobody laugh at me saying 'unit'. I've got a chainsaw."

Hector: "MY UNIT'S BIGGER 'N YOURS!" Hec yelled over noise.

Selene: "Am I supposed to help Darren with his unit, since he has only one arm at the moment," Selene asked, holding up a hand.

Lorna: Never point out the joke to the class. Rule of teaching, number one. "Yes, help each other if anyone's having trouble with their units."

Darren: Darren felt that he should add something to this, since he was the sorta assistant, "Someone's in my fruit cellar! Someone with a fresh soooul!" he branished his chainsaw arm, yeah, that worked.

Hector: "Oh... Hepz. Help me with my unit?" He asked lewdly.

Anna: Anna rolled her eyes, "Oh get a room...."

Mayhem: "Perfectly capable of working with my own unit, thank you." Mayhem said mildly, easily doing as he was told.

Hepzibah: Hepz rolled her eyes at Hector. "Don't got to go bragging, baby! When we get to half-time," she winked as she yelled over teh roaring.

Hector: Hec just grinned for a moment and kept trying to get his started.

Lorna: "Now, our chainsaws have primer bulbs. I tried to find enough with step through because I thought it would be funny but they're harder to find in the city it seems. So, press this button here four or five times, it's letting the fuel in."

Selene: "You know, at some point we'll have to further explore those morphing skills of yours," Selene told Darren, smirking at his look, before she returned to fidget with her own chainsaw. She did as Lorna told them, her tongue tucked into the corner of her mouth. "Those always look easier to use in the video games."

Bobby: Bobby snorted and rolled over. "Are you shaving in bed again?" Where was his pillow...oh. He sat up and brushed dead grass from his hair. "Hot damn, I died and went to S-Mart!"

Hepzibah: She bumped Mayhem in the side with her head since she had to hold the chainsaw with both hands. "Not the most fun way to go about things though," she teased, the smiled. "Just think of all the catching up and making up you and Mo get to do when she finally snaps out of it." She tried to be encouraging as best she could.

Lorna: "And now...pull your cord and START YORU ENGINES!" Lorna pulled hers a few times and, voila, her chainsaw came to life.

Darren: "I think I can see why Ash was grinning so manically through the movies, this is awesome," Darren grinned back at Selene, "you mean you've got even more ideas?"

Mayhem: "She won't." Mayhem muttered back. "I've gotten over it." He did as he was told, the chainsaw starting first time. "Looks like that's as much as I'm gonna be gettin', lover."

Selene: Selene grabbed the cord and pulled a couple of times, before she was rewarded with the sound of a running engine. Her eyes widened from excitement and a grin appeared on her lips as she raised the tool higher in the air.

Lorna: Grinning manically? Noooo. Okay, Lorna had the crazy face on and was obviously feeling better now that she had a chainsaw. "COMMENCE CARVING! MAKE IT VALENTINE-Y!" Lorna started on her swan, bits of hedge flying in the air in a green fountain massacre.

Bobby: Bobby pushed himself up and dusted off, surveying the class full of borderline psychopaths weilding chainsaws. He smiled fondly at the head psycho, but decided against an encouraging pat on the ass for her.

Hector: Hec finally yanked on it as hard as he could, almost pulling his shoulder out of socket, but finally the saw roared to life. "Ok... Valentiney..." He looked at his bush and tried to figure out what shape it should be in as he revved it a few times.

Darren: "This! This is my ... uhh ... cutty stick!" Darren cackled manically and started to attack his own hedge.

Bobby: There was one person not happily destroying the landscaping, however, so he wandered over to Anna and plopped down next to her.

Bobby: "Whuzzup, buttercup?"

Darren: Chainsaw hand, made of win even though his hedge was started to look like Zoidberg thanks to his ... zeal ...

Hepzibah: Valentine-y?? Hepzibah looked at Hector, trying to get ideas and then revved the motor, making the saw belt spin faster and expirementally stuck it in the hedge. "ohhhhh....." she grinned evilly as the shrub disinteragrated a bit in front of her.

Anna: Anna watched them set about their task then realised she had company. "Hey..." she smiled, "Not much..." she shrugged.

Selene: "Oooh, yes, I can definitely see the appeal of this," Selene said, swinging her chainsaw about a few times. She chuckled and then ran over to a free part of the hedge.

Lorna: "Chainsaws are good." Lorna admitted, stroking her baby.

Bobby: "I can't help but notice you're not raping the shrubbery." He looked over at her and down. "Aren't you cold?"

Darren: Okay, so not the cherub he was going for and more crustation alien ... he was an artist, he could totally make this work, right?

Anna: "Not really..." Anna sighed, "Don't feel like I should be handling something that dangerous right now.... far too jumpy..." she pulled her knees back up to her chest, "Don't think it's a good idea with the exploding tendancy anyway... sudden noises and all...."

Hector: Hec finally came up with an idea that he thought would be appropo. He stepped up to the shrub and started to chip away at it piece by piece, trimming it to make it tall and slender.

Lorna: "Hector, if that's going to be a penis I remind you this isn't biology class...so it doesn't have to be accurate and you have no reason to take off your pants for reference."

Mayhem: Mayhem stared at his bush for a while, trying to work out what he could do. The last thing he wanted was to make it Valentiney, but hey, anything to make someone smile. And there was a chance she'd wake up. Fuck it. He decided to go for a heart.

Selene: "Expect no mercy of me, Squirrel-sympathizer," Selene announced, before she wildly swung the chainsaw into the hedge. The shrubbery instantly retaliated by showering her with loose bits of wood.

Darren: Darren was cackling so hard at that he sheered off a good chunk of his hedge by accident, "Fuck!"

Hepzibah: This isn't so hard! Hepz stabbed and jabbed at the brush, throwing a ton of shrubbery bits into the air. It was starting to take on a vaguely bird like shape - though it was FAR from swan looking. But she wasn't trying to make a swan. Nope she had something else in mind entrirely.

Lorna: "Don't worry, able slaying assistant, we have more shrubbery. We also have very good adhesive."

Bobby: "But it's fun! Nothing to be jumpy about. It's just a way to be creative... take out some frustrations..." He paused and cocked his head at Hector's bush. "Prove Freud right..."

Hector: Hec just grinned and continued. Who needs reference, I've played with it enough to know it by heart. He thought as he started to make it look more like the real thing.

Anna: "Yeah... or sever a limb...." Anna replied, "Don't get me wrong... it looks fun... but I'm clumsy.... can't be trusted....."

Darren: "You mean I get fresh bush!?" Darren yelled over the chainsaws, then realised what he'd said, "Uhh ... that didn't come out right..."

Lorna: "Is anyone making a vagina shrub to go with the penis shrub?" Lorna called out. "Yes, you get a fresh bush, just don't go for the Brazillian this time!"

Hector: He started laughing as he conitnued his 'master piece' and started to shape the tip, wondering if you'd be able to tell if it was circumsized or not.

Hepzibah: Hepzibah laughed at the Darren and Lorna. That was funny! She eyed Hector's masterpiece for a moment. Yup, coming along nicely. She took a few more swipes at her own hedge, trying to get the tail feathers just right...

Bobby: "Well that's a Debbie downer of an attitude. The way to not be clumsy is to try to do things so you don't screw up, yeah?"

Lorna: "Be kind to your bush, people. Love it. Just...chip away the wiggly edges." Lorna smiled, working on her wings.

Anna: "Yeah... but if I screw this up I risk losing a foot - I can't heal myself...." She sighed, "And you're not doing it either... what's your excuse?"

Hector: "Oh I do. I love putting a dick in it too." He grinned as he shouted back over to Lorna above the dine of chain sawage.

Lorna: "Yes, yes you do, just don't castrate it or anything. Nobody wants that on Valentine's Day."

Hepzibah: "I like it when Hector is kind to mine! and yes, that is one of the best ways to be good to it." she grinned, winking at Hec and getting down on her knees to work on the bush's feet. "No, castrating - BAD."

Bobby: "I'm hung over." He grinned brightly. "Also, I'm not a student."

Darren: Darren had by this point moved into a fresh bush and was going for cherub attempt number two ... though it still looked kinda fishy ... wait ... maybe it could be a mer-crab-cherub? That'd rock.

Anna: "Hung over, that explains it." Anna grinned, "Never thought you'd be the type to pass up the chainsaw... also explains the lawn napping."

Hector: Hec grinned again. "Oh I hope not..." He stepped back to take a look at his work. "Ok... think I'm just about done..." He stepped forward and made a small indention on the top to finish off the look. He killed his chain saw and stepped up behind Hepz for a moment to look at her's over her head while she knelt. "Good work babe... You're good on your knees..."

Darren: So fish tail instead of legs ... pincers for hands ... wings ... awesome!

Selene: "Excessive violence and creative art rolled into one," Selene concluded, eagerly swinging her chainsaw at the edges of the hedge in front of her. "What's not to like?" She tried to get her shrub to assume a distinguishable shape, with mixed results so far.

Hepzibah: Hepz looked up to see Hector standing over her and grinned devilishly, "So you've said..." She gave her creation a few more clips and killed the engine, standing back up. "So what do you think??"

Darren: Now ... bow and arrow, harp, or grenade launcher? Meh, he was a conceptual artist wasn't he?

Bobby: "Well, I have my own creative tools." Bobby closed his eyes for a moment and concentrated. It was harder than it used to be... but there. The air in front of them swirled a little, then a perfect icy swan formed on the lawn.

Lorna: Lorna stepped back to see her swan, tilting her head at it. It looked a bit more 'Leda and the swan' than she had anticipated but...well...nothing quite like violating mythological swans.

Hector: "Not bad..." He looked it over, "But a chicken? Right? Not very valentiney." He wondered what it was meant to be.

Lorna: "Did you just call my Leda and the Swan swan a chicken?" Lorna sounded hurt.

Anna: Anna grinned, "See, that's much prettier than hedge swans." She poked it, "You could make a fortune with ice sculptures you know - rich people pay a fortune for things that good." She poked it again.

Darren: Darren gave a final florish with his chainsaw and stepped back, "I call it, 'All's Fair, 2.5 and a quater'." He grinned, "And also do I get extra credit for the swan tree?"

Bobby: The swan's head turned and it blinked at her. That was much harder to do than it should have been.

Selene: Selene remembered that Lorna had mentioned something about Valentine. What would an appropriate Valentine-motif be, she wondered. One couldn't go wrong with hearts, right? So a heart it should be. Selene tucked her tongue into the corner of her mouth and began to swing the chainsaw wildly.

Hepzibah: "No, he's talking about my project, Lorna!" Hepzibah grinned from ear to ear, entirely too satisfied with herself and pointed at it, bouncing a bit. "It's a cock!!"

Anna: Anna giggled, "Ha! That's awesome!" she grinned at Bobby, "You have such a cool power.... and not just in ther literal sense."

Lorna: "Yes, yes you do." Lorna nodded, grinning as she powered down her chainsaw, stepping out to start passing out hedge clippers. "And now we go in and reshape a bit more closely." Lorna paused, lips quirking up and then properly laughing. "Ha, cock!" Nice.

Darren: Darren did the obligatory dirty snigger.

Hepzibah: Hepz grinned - she might actually get a passing grade in one of Lorna's classes! She inspected Hector's hedge and nodded appreciatively, "Yup... but I think maybe a touch too slim..." She took out her camera and snapped a photo. "Will have to compare them just to make sure." Hepz waggled her eyebrows at him while her tail swayed behind her playfully.

Hector: Hec burst out laughing, setting his saw on the ground, and wrapped and arm around Hepz's waist. He gave he a quick kiss. "Nice baby." He took a pair of hedge clippers and looked at his sculpture for a moment, "Hey... Uh... If I mess with that too much it might get a mess all over..." He confided in Lorna.

Lorna: "Your penhedge gets off by having things cut off from it? That sounds pretty hardcore."

Selene: Selene almost lost her balance when the chainsaw lodged itself into a thicker trunk, but she averted the worst by simply flailing erratically. After a couple more swings and cuts, she took a few steps back to inspect her work. "I made a heart," she announced proudly. "Not too bad, no? One can even see where the blood vessels sprout at the top."

Hector: "It's sensative..." He grinned madly.

Hepzibah: "His girlfriend has claws and fangs, how much more hardcore can it get?" Hepz laughed and hugged him a bit.

Lorna: "Handle it carefully. I'm sure you'll get to have a shower afterwards." She grinned more, putting the clippers down.

Bobby: "Well, it's a nice party trick." He shifted the swan into a mini Ash Darren, complete with crazy eyes.

Hepzibah: She turned her attention to Sel's literal sculpture of a heart. "Wow... Sel... A heart... a real heart." She stared at it for a minute.

Anna: Anna laughed, "That's uncanny! You could make an ice statue army... that'd be brilliant!" She had visions of them attacking intruders onto the grounds... or the post man...

Lorna: Lorna quirked her head. "Beautiful, Sel!" Lorna clapped with the shears, dropping one off for Selene.

Hector: "You heard her!" He said to Hepz. "Oh wow... Sel... That's something..." He laughed.

Hepzibah: "Yeah, but not as amazing as Darren's...." she tilted her head to try to make an educated guess, "Um, Darren - what is that?"

Bobby: Bobby narrowed his eyes and sent mini Darren after the real McCoy. It attacked his leg with its little chainsaw.

Anna: Anna cracked up, "Go mini Darren! Bite his ankles off!" she cheered it on.

Selene: "Isn't it romantic," Selene asked, tilting her head as she admired her work. "After all, they say that a heart is one of the best gifts you can give on Valentine's Day." She looked at Lorna and her shears. "Ooh, those look shiny. And sharp." She dropped her still running chainsaw, which thankfully shut off due to its security handle, and picked up the large shears.

Darren: "It's a mer-crab-cherub armed with a grenade launcher," Darren said, biting his tounge. He'd forgone sheers and just done the Edward Scissorhands thing again to tidy it up, "I figured rather then just be tra-aaaargh!" His legs was being attacked and the momentary distraction caused him to lop his cherub's head off, "Motherfucker!"

Hepzibah: Hepz watched, wide eyed, as a tiny ice sculpture started attacking Darren. She nudged Hector. "Baby? What was in that last J??" Her eyes never left the little monster

Anna: Anna laughed even harder at the headless shrub.

Bobby: This was way harder than it should have been, but amusing. Mini-Darren stopped and waved at him, then vanished in a puff of cold air.

Lorna: Lorna had been just about to comment on the cherub but...now it was headless. "Aw, sad, it was awesome." She gave him shears anyway and turned to where Bobby and Anna were, smirking at them.

Darren: "The fuck? Sabotage! He want's me to fail art!"

Anna: Anna immediately sat up straight and tried to look innocent for Lorna.

Hepzibah: "a mer-crab-cherub armed with a grenade launcher? You know, that was going to be my next guess." She nodded, watching in amazement as the little creature disappeared. "A headless mer-crab-cherub armed with a grenade launcher now..."

Hector: "I have no idea.... But you see it too right?" He watched the little thing disappear.

Lorna: "Well, you're not failing. It's just headless." Lorna shrugged. "Sometimes accidents make the best art."

Bobby: Bobby just returned her look with a shit-eating grin and formed little mer-crab-cherubs behind Hepz and Hector.

Darren: "I have a Master Chief helmet in my room, can I fix it with that?"

Selene: Selene looked at Darren's headless cherub. "You could make another one next to this one and give it a sword instead," she suggested. "Then it would look like one decapitated the other, and all would be well again."

Hepzibah: "And sometimes accidents make babies," Hepz gave a pseudo sage nod.

Hector: "Dear God I hope not..." His head sunk for a moment.

Anna: Anna grinned at Bobby when the cherrubs appeared. Fun!

Bobby: The ice creatures opened fire on the horny couple. "That might cool them off a bit."

Anna: Anna giggled, "One can only hope."

Lorna: "Of course." Lorna nodded. "Master Chief would be great."

Hepzibah: "What? Make babies? Naw, we're good," she grinned at Hec and patted his chest reassuring. "But speaking of which, you want to -" Her sentence was cut short as she got pelted with mini snowballs. "Shit!!!!" she yelped, trying to dodge them.

Hector: Hec felt something hit his back, and turned to see a little set of ice deamon things attacking. "What the fu...." He shifted his field over himself and disappeared from view.\

Anna: Anna's giggle-fit continued at their reactions.

Hepzibah: With a feral snarl, Hepz pounced on them, slashing at them with her claws, shattering them, one after the other. Anna's giggling made her turn her head towards the guilty duo. "Bobby!!!" She yelped again as one of the monsters caught her tail in it's claw.

Darren: Darren snickered.

Bobby: Well that made it harder. The little creatures shot off one last volley and vanished. He leaned back and put on his innocent face. "They'll never know... shit."

Lorna: "Make slushies, Hepz! Make slushies!"

Anna: Anna fell over she was laughing so much. Priceless!

Bobby: "What? I'm just sitting here. Should watch out where Hector's getting his supply..."

Selene: "Ooh, evil cherubs," Selene cheered and bounded after one, shears in hand. She caught the flying icy bugger and managed to snip its head off. "Take that, murderous pigeon-toddler!"

Anna: She sat up again, uh oh! Busted! She gave Bobby a shifty look. She had an escape strategy.

Hepzibah: Hepz answered by lunging at Bobby and bowling him over. The one little crabby cherub still attached to her tail.

Darren: "Murderous pigeon-toddler? Have I ever told you how awesome you are, Sel?" Darren snickered, pointing his finger and taking pot-shots at the cherubs.

Anna: "Eeek!" the sudden attack meant Anna's escape strategy launched prematurely. She exploded into gas.

Hector: Hec made his way over invisibly to Bobby and Hepz and went ahead and piled on, Bobby deserved it anyway. "DOGPILE!"

Selene: Selene stopped and blinked. "Is it just me, or did Anna just go poof?"

Lorna: "Put the shears down before you attack my husband!"

Bobby: Bobby just laughed, but then realized he was soon to get squished he involuntarily shifted to ice.

Darren: "She does that a lot, don't worry about it," Darren remarked.

Anna: Anna swirled over her clothes.

Darren: "If you're lucky when she reforms you may get tittage."

Lorna: "That'll make Hector's shrubbery way too excited.

Hector: "Gonna be nipplely today, it's cold!" He said as he attacked Bobby, hands getting colder still.

Hepzibah: Hepzibah howled with laughter and Hector gave a surprise invisi-attack and joined her in attacking thier teacher. "Take that!" she laughed and rubbed her bare arm over Bobby, leaving little cat hairs stuck to his icy skin!

Anna: Anna stated.

Bobby: "Hector! Get your pants back on! I didn't know you felt that way about me!" He tried to squirm out from under the pile.

Hector: "Just trying to get an A..." He grinned and slowed up, not wanting to waste energy that could be used later.

Anna: Anna pulled herself together back inside her clothes, "Not sure that'll help you there, Hector."

Hepzibah: "Naw, it's just 'cause he's so close to me!" Hepz laughed in retort and rubbed against Bobby more, smushing as much cat hair as she could on him. "Gaww! Get that crab off my tail!!" she yelled as it pinched again.

Selene: "We can improve our grades by molesting the teachers," Selene wondered, arching an eyebrow. She still held the shears in hands."

Lorna: "PANTS STAY ON! That's a class rule!" Lorna pointed accusingly.

Hector: Hec let himself become visible, "Yeah yeah.. Pants are on!" He grinned and sat up. "Bet he wouldn't have minded so much if he thought it was Hepz that was pantless." He stage whispered.

Selene: "Is that the first rule of art club?" Selene asked.

Lorna: "Unless we're painting nudes."

Darren: "Yeah, and the second rule is, be careful since we arn't insured for this," Darren grinned.

Lorna: "Now that one's true for all occasions." Lorna pointed at Darren and then tapped her nose.

Hepzibah: Hepzibah slapped her tail with a whip-like crack and sent the little crab-cherub flying. "Incoming!" she yelled, sitting up and meeping over her tail.

Anna: "You forget the resident healer is here?"

Lorna: "True, we never have to worry about medical insurance."

Bobby: Bobby scrambled away from the shedding wonder and shifted back to his usual form, spitting out cat hair.

Lorna: "...ewww, you made my husband have a hairball."

Selene: "As long as we can pay her in food and other amenities, at least," Selene added, nodding at Anna.

Anna: "As long as I have food and a place to sleep I'm happy, that's right." She nodded along with Selene.

Hepzibah: "Serves you right!" Hepz humpfed at Bobby and stood up, straightening out her clothes.

Darren: The crab cherub bounced off his forhead and smashed to pieces on the ground, "What the fuck!? Am I like a magnet for balistics or something today?"

Lorna: "Well, at least you aren't a magnet for chainsaws?"

Anna: "Aww, Hepz, it was funny!" Anna defended Bobby, "I was bored..."

Darren: "True, very true," he conceded, "and at least they arn't emitting a EMP."

Bobby: "....I need to get into sprinting position before I say this, but... speaking of hairballs..." Bobby kept spitting

Lorna: "Yeah, we don't need to worry EMPs to my knowledge anyway.

Selene: "So, when are we doing the chainsaw juggling exercises," Selene asked, swinging the shears around. "Or isn't that artful enough?"

Hector: Hec made his way to his feet and brushed cat hair and grass of his clothes. He brushed Hepz's backside off as well. "Oh man... Gonna need a shower after this."

Bobby: "Tonguebaths?" He looked Hepzibah over speculatively. "You're a lucky man, Hec."

Lorna: "I think that would have to be in Bobby's class. Now, who wants to help me haul the art inside?" Lorna sounded hopeful.

Hepzibah: Hepz laughed and raised an eyebrow at Bobby, then leaned back against Hector. "Totally."

Darren: "I'll help so long as I get even more extra credit," Darren offered.

Hector: "You have no idea." He grinned and wrapped his arm around her.

Lorna: "Sure, why not? You have to help me arrange them artistically in the ballroom." Lorna shrugged.

Bobby: Finally clear of most of the cat hair, Bobby wandered over and picked up one of the chainsaws.

Hepzibah: "Hmm, I wonder which one should take center stage?" Her eyes kept falling over Hector's 'masterpiece'.

Selene: "We're going to carry the hedge inside," Selene asked, looking back and forth between the shrubbery and the mansion.

Lorna: "Only the ones we carved. The ones not planted into the ground. Professor Munroe would be very angry if we disturbed the mansion shrubbery."

Darren: "No problem," he looked skywards, thoughtful for a moment before saying "Fhtagn," and his torso exploded into a mass of writhing black and yellow tentacles which wrapped around each of the hedges and gently picked them up.

Hector: Hec looked at the bushes, "Chain saw was fun and good and all, but regardless of race, I don't DO manual labor..." He grinned, "Think I'll let ya'll handle this, and I'll slip off and get cleaned up..." He gave Hepz's rear a pinch before he vanished.

Darren: "This cosmic horror is good to go, teach," his voice came from somewhere within the mass, the still normal, human looking feet below them tapping idly.

Anna: "I'd help but it looks like Darren's got it covered...."

Selene: Selene jumped in surprise, before clasping her hands in glee and grinning excitedly at Darren. "Fthagn," she exclaimed, bouncing a bit.

Lorna: "That...is perfect." Lorna laughed, clapping for Darren.

Hepzibah: "If I'd known that - I'd have carved a baby chick instead of a rooster..." Hepz stopped and jumped at Hector's pinch then 'ohh'd and ahhh'd' at Darren.

Darren: "Of course I have it covered, I'm a genius inspired by Lovecraft," Darren said smugly.

Bobby: "The Japanese would worship you as a god, buddy." Bobby saluted Darren.

Lorna: "I think they all ready do. We're taking you to Japan and seeing what happens."

Selene: "I believe there would be a mass panic among their schoolgirls," Selene mused.

Darren: "The God of Hentai? I could live with that totaly," a couple of tentacles made what seemed to be lewd gestures, "I will demand daily sacrifices of hot asian chicks in school uniforms."

Darren: "Sel could be the high-priestess who checks them out to make sure they're worthy," a few tentacles waggled at her.

Selene: "Is that my signal to go rent a school uniform," Selene asked.

Bobby: "I'll be your prophet for a cut of that action." He wriggled his brows, then remembered Lorna had a chainsaw.

Lorna: "It's my signal to buy stock in their companies." She gave Bobby a poke with the chainsaw. Hey, it was off and perfectly safe!

Hepzibah: "Well, if you got it, I'm going to use my superior feral abilities to hunt down one dead beat Mexican who skipped out on us." Hepz grinned at them. "And, Lorna - if your art classes are this much fun, maybe I'll actually show up to the next one on purpose!"

Darren: "... Wait for me to drop off the shrubbery before we talk schoolgirl uniforms, babe."

Bobby: Bobby gave Lorna a pained grin and put down his own saw. "...we could get you a schoolgirl uniform..."

Lorna: "Oh, everyone's coming to the next one. Audutions start next week, people, sign up!" Lorna called out, picking up another chainsaw. "And yes, yes we could."

Selene: "Perhaps we can get a discount if we rent more of them," Selene suggested, nodding thoughtfully. "Anna and Hepzibah could get one, too. And Darren, possibly."

Bobby: "There you go... except for Darren." Bobby gave her a thumbs up and poked Lorna's chainsaw. "Groovy."

Anna: "Er... I've had enough with school uniforms - they're compulsory where I come from...."

Darren: "Anyway, the sacred shrubbery procession for the great god Cuthu-lock will begin now!" Darren announced quickly, making his writhing way across the lawns to cover Selene's suggestion ... though later on if she wanted maybe femlock could shift that for her ...

Darren: No don't think about that man, you still need to walk!
"The secondary penis slides into view. And they all lived happily ever after."
Kieron Gillen
Esynthia
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1/30 Game: Trimming Your Bush

Post by Esynthia »

HA!! that was highly amusing!
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Remy: he feels lust for everyone
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