8-9 Instance: "The Bonds of the Commitment Phobic"

[JSherlock]

Timeline: Before East to West


Rogue: Rogue lay on her stomach on her bed, face smushed in the pillow as her hand idly played with the bracelet on the opposite wrist where they were tucked under the pillow. She grunted and gave a soft sigh to follow before mumbling into her pillow, then finally turning her head to look at Neena, "How long have y'all been datin' again?"

Neena: Neena looked up from her suitcase. "Um, since January. Almost two months. Not long, I know. Why do you ask?" She took a look at her tops. "And while we're asking questions, do I take the blue or the red?"


Rogue: "Both," Rogue responded instantly before shoving her face back into her pillow. Her hands stilled for a small second, then she was slipping off the glove of the hand that had been petting the bracelet before continuing the motion. "Ben's said he loves ya right?"


Neena: She stiffened instantly, her face turning crimson. "How...how do you know?" she asked nervously, turning to Rogue.


Rogue: Rogue sighed and pushed herself to be propped up on her elbows, forearms still under her pillow. "Well that's mah answer then... Was gonna say, 'if he hasn't, he does'. Stupid fool." She sighed again and shook her head, "Sorry, shouldn'ta said that. Anyway..." She let her head drop, then tilted it to the side to look at Neena, thumb never stopping on her bracelet, "What'd ya say back?"


Neena: "I- didn't say anything. I mean, I said I was fine with it. Wow, I probably sounded so heartless.."


Neena: She stared down at her blue wrap top, embarassed. "We talked later, the next time he said it, and I told him he was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time."


Rogue: "Ah probably shoulda not said anythin' either," she mused quietly before dropping her face back into her pillow. "How long are y'all gonna be gone," her voice was muffled, but she spoke up so it could be understood.


Neena: "Just a couple days. Not long. I don't want to risk Ben being around my mother that long. I love her, but really, she can be really overeager sometimes." She furrowed her brow at Rogue. " What shouldn't you have said, honey?"


Rogue: "That's good. That it won't be f' too long Ah mean... Ah'd be nervous as hell if Ah had family ta bring Sam ta see." She idly wondered if he was nervous as hell about Easter. "Nothin', sugah. Don't worry 'bout it," her thumb rubbed harder at her bracelet as she lifted her head long enough to give Neena a brief smile.


Neena: "Rogue, do you think I should have said something different? I mean, I feel like I cheated him somehow, like it wasn't the right thing to say," Neena folded her clothes and placed them in the suitcase. "If you don't mind me asking, has Sam said the L word yet?"


Rogue: Rogue laughed some and buried her face harder into her pillow as she mumbled out a quiet, "Yeah."


Neena: "What- what did you say back?" Neena sat next to Rogue.


Rogue: Rogue finally rolled over onto her back, pulling her arms out with the bare hand still rubbing over the bracelet. "Told him Ah wasn't tha kinda person anybody should fall in love with..." She rubbed at her face, "Then proceeded ta question him a bit... Almost challengin' that he felt that way..."


Neena: "Oh, honey," Neena may have been inexperienced, but she wasn't stupid. She could only imagine how Sam felt. "Looks like we both screwed up. I mean, before I got to tell Ben how happy I was with him, I yelled at him. I asked him why he said what he did when he barely knew me." She smirked. "We are just talented like that, aren't we?"


Rogue: Rogue snickered and gave a slight roll of her eyes. "No kiddin'. Ah mean, we talked 'bout it an' one of tha first things he said after he told me was that he wasn't expectin' me ta feel tha same an' he was willin' ta wait f' me ta work through stuff... It's just... shit! Ah never in a million years dreamed that anythin' like this could happen ta me in real life..."


Neena: "I understand," Neena nodded. "Well, sort of. I mean, I didn't think I'd really find anyone else after Milo, and then Ben comes along. He just, swept me away, you know? Before I knew it a look from him was enough to make me blush." she patted Rogue's shoulder assuredly. "But at least you know he means it. I've seen the way Sam looks at you, honey. If that's not love, I don't know what is."


Rogue: Rogue gave a small smirk and glanced over at her roomie. "Don't say that. Ya might jynx things," she said it with a playful glint in her eye, knowing that it was complete opposite of Neena's powers. "Ah don't know what ta think... What ta feel... Ah've never been in a relationship that counted before. An' Ah just kinda... dove head first inta this one..."


Neena: "Wow, do I ever know what you're talking about," Neena tapped her chin thoughtfully. "But, Rogue, Sam is a good guy! He's sweet and really good looking, and totally devoted to you, from what I've seen. Maybe it's good that you dove headfirst, yeah?"


Neena: "Do you not love him?"


Rogue: "Ah know he's a good guy... An' he's totally like a newborn pup 'round me. It's just..." She sighed and screwed up her face. "Remy's tha first person Ah kissed... Not
countin' Cody. An' Remy's tha first person who... Well, frankly, who gave me an orgasm. An' he an' Ah fooled 'round a lot an' had somethin' between us, but we were never in a real relationship... So he an' Ah both were free ta do what we wanted with other people..."


Rogue: "An', Ah kinda stayed that way... It's all Ah've known in tha physical department. An' it's just hard..." Rogue scrubbed at her face. "An' Ah have no clue if Ah love him or not. Ah sure like him more'n anybody... An' Ah care 'bout him more'n Ah have anybody..."


Neena: Neena looked down at her hands. "Up until I came to the institute, Milo had been the only person I loved. It's the greatest feeling in the world. You feel safe and warm, like you totally be yourself. And everything they are and aren't, you love because it's them."


Neena: Her gaze became distant. "And the very thought of losing them, just thinking about it, makes your heart break." She looked back at Rogue. "Sorry. Got a little hippy dippy there."


Rogue: Rogue frowned at what Neena was saying, "No, sugah, don't be sorry... Ya know, Ah've only felt that way 'bout one person... Don't think it was love beyond friendship'r family type though..." She sighed, "An'... Ah don't feel it with Sam," her features darkened a bit as she hid how much that upset her. "At least not yet..."


Neena: "Give it time, sweetie," she said soothingly. "You said he was understanding about you not feeling the same quite yet, didn't he? You should take him at his word." Neena sighed, feeling a little like a hypocrite herself. How could she even be giving Rogue advice when she was hiding her own feelings?


Rogue: "Ah do. Ah trust him completely an' believe him. It's just..." Rogue took a deep breath and frowned, "How am Ah supposed ta deal with this? Ah don't even know what love is..."


Neena: "It's different for everyone," Neena shook her head. "But when it hits you, you'll know. It might be at a totally awkward time, it might be at a perfectly normal time, but you'll know, no mistaking it." God, she really was the biggest hypocrite in the world. She bit her bottom lip, accidently biting too hard and causing tears to slip out of her eyes.


Rogue: Rogue's thumb went back to the bracelet, her eyes fixed on a mark on the ceiling. "Ah really wasn't expectin' him ta say it... Ah mean, it was a perfect time f' him ta say it... It was absolutely sweet. But it really... really caught me off guard."


Neena: "Aw, sweetie," she sighed. "I'm sorry it caught you by surprise so much. I mean, I thought you would have figured it out by now. You know, since your kind of an empath or whatever. It seemed pretty obvious," she smiled a little, trying to cheer Rogue up.


Rogue: Rogue shook her head, "Ain't an empath.. Just able ta read people... Most of tha time. Ah just never expected it from anyone aimed at me is all... Wasn' lookin' f' it." She cleared her throat and sat up, "How's ya packin' comin'?"


Neena: "Slowly," she smiled wanly at her suitcase. "I'm kind of nervous to be going back with Ben. I don't know how this is gonna work out. My parents are so insane, I just don't want him to go running."


Rogue: "Don't be. He won't run. Ben's stubborn, ya know. Insane parents won't deter him from what he wants. No worries." She smirked at Neena and nodded at the suitcase, "Keep goin'. Don't make me go drill sergeant on ya ass."


Neena: "Yes ma'am," Neena saluted, grinning. She rose and went back to the suitcase. "Rogue, you know Ben pretty well. Do you- do you think he means it? Do you think he's telling me the truth?"


Rogue: Rogue sighed and leaned over on one arm, the opposite hand coming back to the bracelet like a magnet. "Ah dunno, hun. Ah think if he ain't, he doesn't know it. Ben's never been one f' sayin' somethin' he didn't mean."


Neena: "That's what I was afraid of," Neena gazed down at the bra she was packing. It was the pretty lace one he had given her for Valentine's Day. She had often pictured herself wearing it for him, but she would never admit that to anyone. "Can I tell you something?" she took a shaky breath. "I think, I think I love him back. I can't understand it, but I feel like I haven't felt since Milo was alive. But this time, it's...different too."


Rogue: Rogue gave Neena a small, soft smile, her thumb on the bracelet slowing to a more calming rhythm as it stroked it. "So then tell him that. But make sure he knows ya ain't certain. But ya probably won't ever be certain 'till ya talk ta him 'bout it."


Neena: "It's so strange," she mused. "But he doesn't really remind me of Milo, not anymore. I think it was a good omen," she smirked. "I love him, Rogue. But I just can't say it yet. I have to be...sure of some things first? I don't know. I know what it's like to be in love, and I'm there. But there's something missing."


Neena: "And I probably sound totally insane right now, don't I?" she grinned.


Rogue: Rogue fixed Neena with a very level stare, only marred by a smug half-smirk. "Neena. Ya did just say it. Tha fact that ya can say it out loud ta me an' be so sure of it while sayin' it - no matter what ya say after - means ya can tell him, too."


Neena: She stared back at Rogue, before hurriedly packing away her flip flops. "The thing is, I know I mean it. I know that when he looks at me, I feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. But what about him? I'm not about to make a fool out of myself. I have my pride, you know."


Rogue: Rogue arched an eyebrow at Neena and shook her head on a small chuckle. "He's already said it. There's no need ta worry 'bout him. Shit, he probably wasn't even worried 'bout him when he told ya."


Neena: The flip flops were thrown in along with two more pairs of jeans. "You're probably right. I'm just way overanalyzing the sitation, aren't I?" she smiled ruefully. "Maybe in CAlifornia, I'll feel a little better. A little more relaxed. I don't know. I was thinking of taking Ben to visit Milo. Do you think he'd freak?"


Rogue: "Yes. Ya are. An' Ah think he'd like that, actually." Rogue rolled back over to shove her arms under her pillow, stilling her thumb on the bracelet and just holding it for a bit. "Don't tell him where ya goin' first... Make it a surprise. An' stop f' flowers on tha way so he can put some on Milo's grave, too."


Neena: "Yes, flowers would be nice. Hyacinths were Milo's favorite," Neena said. "I think Milo would have liked him. They're very different, but I think Milo would have approved."


Neena: She laughed suddenly. "I'm so happy! I'm going home, with Ben. He'll get to see all the places I grew up. I mean, yeah I'm a little scared, but it'll be so good to go back!"


Rogue: Rogue snickered at the sudden laugh and turned her head to watch Neena. "Damn, Ah hope Sam's that giddy come easter."


Neena: Neena only grinned and shut her suitcase. Maybe, just maybe, this weekend would result in more than her parents haranguing Ben. Maybe, maybe she'd gather the courage, and tell him.

[Starfish]

Very nice instance, you two. Great interaction between Neena and Rogue.

[fourpawsonthefloor]

I like too that it's real. Often people fall at different times.