1/24 Instance: Don't Double Tap

[Slarti]

Timeline: Current

The_Box: The man knocked on the door, distracted from his usual apathy of his job at the interesting size and intriguing architecture of this supposed 'school' that he was shipping this box to.

The_Box: He rang the loud buzzer-bell, hoping someone would come quickly. Probably another hispanic cleaning lady.

Rogue: Rogue looked up from her sandwich when the doorbell went off after nobody answered the knock. She jogged down the hall from the kitchen, "Ah'm comin'!" Rogue opened the door after checking the security camera. Delivery? "Hey there, hun! Sorry 'bout that."

The_Box: The man sighed as the door opened and then switched it to a firm smile as he saw the hottie in the doorway. He leaned against the door, his beer belly hanging out from his uniform shirt and said. "Hey.... gotta package here.... for..." He looked at it. "Rogue....?" Oh great, another prank-package.

Rogue: Rogue made a face and leaned back a bit as he leaned in. "That's me, darlin'... Who's it from?" She looked at the boxes and tilted her head. They better not be bombs...

The_Box: "Uhh..." He looked at it again. "No name, just a return address from Italy. Sorry sweets, that's all there is." He gave her electronic clipboard. "Just sign here, 'Rogue'." He looked around skeptically, leaning his head forward to peak in with rising curiosity.

The_Box: Shipping a box to a 'Rogue' in a large mansion, and a return address with no name... Terrorists? He looked at the girl. Way too hot to be a terrorist. He smiled at her.

Rogue: Italy? She leaned back further as he poked his head in the door. Rude much? She frowned at took the clipboard, watching him for a moment before signing. She passed it back with a smile, "Thanks, sugah. Y'all take care now." She held her hands out for the boxes.

The_Box: He shrugged and gave them to her. "Be careful with the smaller one. The latinos at shipping say it's haunted." He laughed uproariously. "Superstitious mooks, right?"

Rogue: "Haunted? What?" She gave him a weird look and glanced down at the box. "Um... Yeah. Thanks!" She gave him another smile and kicked the door closed. Ok... Where to go to make sure if this was a bomb it wouldn't hurt anyone?

The_Box: The longer box shook.

Rogue: Rogue stopped in her tracks, almost dropping the box. Oookaaay... She took a breath and slowly started walking again. Fuck. She did not need another bomb.

The_Box: The longer box began to make scratching sounds.... from inside. Like someone was running their nails against the cardboard. Then there was .... muffled voices from the smaller one.

Rogue: Rogue shrieked and dropped both boxes, stepping back some. "What in tha sam hell?!"

The_Box: "Open it up, God damn it! There's Packing Peanuts in my nose!" The voice shrieked from inside the box.

Rogue: Rogue shrieked again and closed her eyes for a moment trying to calm down. Ok, she was going insane... "Who's there?"

Teagan: "The Princess of Wales! Who the hell do you think it is, Roomie!?"

Rogue: Roomie? She'd not had a roomie since... "Moon?!" What the fuck? Her life was becoming a fucking action comedy! She bet somewhere, someone was filming it. She knealt slowly and picked up the boxes. "Um... Gonna take tha boxes ta tha kitchen ta get tha scissors..."

Teagan: "Do you know how much these people shake boxes! I'm lucky my head isn't squished like a glass at a Jewish wedding! They have no respect for other peoples property! Did the rest of me make it? I'm kicking pretty intensely."

Rogue: "Maybe ya shoulda put 'FRAGILE' all over yaself?" She made a face. No way was she sane talking to boxes. She set them on the counter and went to fetch the scissors. "Nope. No kickin'. Just got two boxes."

Teagan: "Damn the rest of me must be in receiving." She said, discontentedly. "Or the check point in England.... I should get Amara to check my tracking. With whatever limb came back. They've made traveling for mutants such a hassle!"

Rogue: "Um... 'Mara ain't around no more, gal." Rogue moved to the boxes and carefully took the scissors to the longer box first, making a face at the disembodied right arm inside it. Then she went to the smaller box, "Hold still."

Teagan: "I know that! She was with me, until I ditched her ass. I thought we were going to go on adventures! Travel!" She saw light suddenly and closed her eyes, hissing. "Wow! That's bright after a week. How do I look? Beautiful, right?" She smiled at her.

Rogue: Rogue gave her a weak smile and a shrug, "Always, hun." She blinked a bit and then reached in the box, picking up her head and turning the box over to set her on top. How surreal... "So... Where ya been? Why'd ya leave?"

Teagan: "She got boring. You know how I am." She would have shrugged but obviously that was impossible right then. "I just shipped myself back 'cause there is no way for an unregistered, obvious mutant like myself to get back. I thought of people who would appreciate a box of Moonbeam, and I thought 'who else but Roguey?'" She cracked her usual wide, unorthodox grin.

Teagan: "How's the joint? Any earth-shattering issues lately?"

Rogue: Rogue grinned and gave a shrug, "Bobby maybe." Oh how she wished he was there when she got the boxes. That would have been hilarious. She sat on a stool after washing her hands and resumed eating her sandwich. Rogue sighed a bit. "We got bombed while helpin' at a hospital, Jay an' Monet have Legacy...." She glanced up then looked back at her sandwich, "An' Sam died from it."

Teagan: Teagan's jaw dropped. "Oh! Hun I'm so sorry! He had such a nice tush too!"

Rogue: Rogue winced, "Ah know, Teagan." She held up her right hand to show off her silver and emerald ring. "We got committed..." She felt a huge rush of sadness, remembering how she had felt when he died and then she took a deep breath and gave her a smile, "He died, but he's alive again..."

Teagan: "OH! So wait... what? Is he like me now or something?" Here, she would have scratched the top of her head.

Rogue: Rogue couldn't help but make a face at that, "No... He's alive alive. Not a livin' corpse..." She wrinkled her nose, "Sorry... Ah just mean he's... normal. How he was. Nobody can explain it. He was awful, completely deterioirated... An' now he's healthy again. He's gotta put on a bit o' weight from not bein' able ta eat f'r so long, but beyond that... He's perfect."

Teagan: "Awesome! I had heard about Legacy back before I shipped out. It's terrible out there! I don't think I can get it though... if so, it'd just make me alive, and that wouldn't be so bad right?" She had flash backs to all her wounds re-appearing. "Yeah, nevermind, that would be bad."

Rogue: Rogue laughed, "Yeah, no." She sobered a bit, thinking of how Sam had been... And how Jay still was... At least Monet seemed like she was in a frozen state of it. She looked down at her sandwich and swallowed hard, "Ya don't want that. Wouldn't wish it on mah worst enemy..."

Teagan: Teagan thought of her worst enemy. "I'd like to do it to that Graydon sonovabitch." She said, angrily. "Too bad he's not a mutant. Lock him up with that Virus, throw away the key...flippin', fuckin', dirt-baggin', ass hole." She looked to Rogue. "Tell me more about this bomb."

Rogue: Rogue winced at the mention of Graydon. "Bomb came from his 'group'... Me an' some o' tha gals were at tha local hospital, candy stripin' f'r some o' tha Legacy victims... Bomb went off under one o' their beds." She turned and lifted the back of her shirt to show off her new marks. "Tried ta play hero f'r two kids without thinkin' that Ah ain't invulnerable anymore."

Teagan: "I had a feelin' bout that... Dickhead." She looked to Rogue. "Oh, still, huh? That's no good. Well at least you're okay. Are the little kids okay too? Anyone get killed, or seriously hurt?"

Rogue: "Still what?" Rogue put the shirt down and frowned, "Yeah... They're alright. Real shaken up, but Ah covered 'em in time. Was only two o' 'em." She bit her lip, "Yeah... Gal that was in tha bed is now in pieces. An' she cain't put herself tagether like y'all can."

Teagan: "I know the X-Men don't kill, but this guy gets the exception, right?" Teagan looked at Rogue with a serious expression, or as serious an expression a talking dismembered head can give. "Right??"

Rogue: "Ah wish, hun." She sighed, "Ah remember meetin' him... He was so nice. An' real sweet..." She bit her lip, "Ah just wish there was somethin' ta do ta help him go back ta that." Rogue got up and got a coke from the fridge, "Y'all want a drink, hun?"

Teagan: "Nah, I'm straight." She said, trying to shake her head. "I wonder when the rest of me will get here?" She eyed the opening from the kitchen to the hall. "Rae's still around, right? And Bobb-o?"

Rogue: "Yup. Rae's married... Bobby's a teacher. He's got gym an' math now. Which is weird f'r me, obviously. F'r more'n one reason." She sat back down and took a drink. "Gotta figure out how ta pay mah math teacher ta do mah math homework now."

Teagan: "I'll just scare him into it, if I sing up for classes again. I'm not really sure if I'm staying, I just didn't want to be there anymore. I love Amara and everything, but damn girl, I wanted to see the world, not your mad-expensive house in Italy. Jeez."

Teagan: "Rae, married? Huh. Well that's a shame. I was still hoping there was a way to squeeze into that. Meh."

Rogue: Rogue laughed, "Nah, Ah'll just flirt with him 'till he gets that stupid lil boy look an' says ok." She shrugged, "Ah doubt any gal could, hun... She's pretty inta Josh." She took another bite of her sandwich. "Bobby'll be shocked ta see ya though..."

Teagan: She winked. "'Course he will. He loves seeing my lovely head rolling around." Her right arm began to crawl out of the box and onto the counter. "...Where the hell are you going?"

Rogue: Rogue blinked, "Ah think it wants ta go grab some Frosty-tush." She grinned and reached over to slap her hand down on it, holding it still.

Teagan: Teagan cackled. "You should put my head in the freezer, and call him in to get a popsicle. HA!"

Rogue: Rogue laughed, "Oh Moon, that'd be so mean!" She looked around shiftily... "But Ah think Ah might... Maybe."

Teagan: "Oh man! Quick, stuff me in there, an' go get him! Tell him to check for milk or something, I dunno!" She went into a fit of snickering.

Rogue: Rogue laughed and tossed her trash, picking up Teagan's head and opening the freezer. "Alright, hold tight. Ah'm gonna stuff ya arm in tha pantry. Don't move it, alright?" She left the door open so Teagan wouldn't freeze just yet and put the arm away. "Ok, Ah'll go find him. Hold tight." She shut the door and ran out of the kitchen, heading towards his classroom first. "Bugs?"

Bobby: "Wrong, wrong, right ...wow, what the hell?" Bobby graded papers in the relative peace and quiet of his empty classroom.

Bobby: He looked up at Rogue's voice and called an answer.

Rogue: Rogue jogged into the room and hopped up to sit on his desk, "Hey. How's it goin'? Ah need help with somethin' in tha kitchen... Can y'all c'mere f'r just a minute?"

Bobby: He grinned at her in greeting, then tilted his head and tapped the pen against the desk. "Um, sure?" He looked at her expectant expression. "Now?"

Rogue: "Yeah?" She shrugged, "If not, Ah mean, Ah guess feedin' mah starvin body can wait..." She gave him her puppy eyes, "Sure am hungry finally..."

Bobby: "Oh, fine." He rolled his eyes and got up, dropping his pen and stretching. "You don't have to lay it on so thick, babe."

Rogue: Rogue grinned and shrugged, "Hey, life likes me right now. Ah'm havin' fun layin' it on thick, sugah." Ok, calling a teacher sugar was normally weird. Standing here in 'Bobby's classroom' made it a tiny bit weird to call him that, but not really... She grabbed his hand, "It's in tha freezer. F'r once, somethin' Ah ain't sure how ta cook an' y'all have ya spam thing... So maybe ya can help me with this meat."

Bobby: "Well, as long as you're having fun, I suppose." Bobby poked out his tongue at her and ruffled her hair, letting her lead the way. Meat? He shook his head. "Okay, let's meet the meat."

Rogue: Rogue ducked at the ruffle, wincing a little, "Hey now." She pushed the door open and gave Bobby a light shove ahead of her, "It's in tha freezer. Ah'll get out tha skillet if y'all get tha meat?"

Bobby: "You sure the problem isn't that you just can't reach the freezer?" He opened the door and immediately closed it again.

Bobby: He opened it more slowly, but it was still there.

Rogue: Rogue stood by the island, leaning a hip on it with her arms crossed, grinning. She loved his reaction. And at least it wasn't 'Double tap it! Now!'. She giggled a bit, "Oh Ah'm sure."

Teagan: During this time, Teagan's arm had crawled out of the pantry, slowly creeping towards Bobby's leg. Reaching out, it grabbed him from behind the knee.

Bobby: Bobby made a face, leaning in a little to inspect Teagan's head. "Roguey, you know you'll pay for this," he said conversationally, resisting the urge to poke. "....she is, uh, alive, right? As alive as she geaaarghohGod!" He jumped and just barely stopped himself from kicking as he spun around and jumped up on the counter. "Bitches! Both of you! Evil ones! Evil!"

Rogue: Rogue doubled over with laughter at Bobby's reaction to that and she reached up to hug him, "Sorry, darlin'... Was her idea... Shoulda seen me when Ah got tha packages..." She moved to the freezer and scooped up Teagan's head, setting it back on the box.

Teagan: "Hahahahahaha!" Teagan cackled, maniacally. "Still got it!"

Bobby: The arm was still on the floor, so Bobby jumped down and picked it up. He smacked her lightly on the back of her hand. "Bad!" Carefully arranging the arm on the table, he poked two of her fingers up her own nose and grinned, backing off and making finger frames to study his masterpiece.

Teagan: She kept laughing, and with her fingers up her nose, it turned into abrupt snorting. "Hahahaeheheha! Stop that!"

Rogue: Rogue made a face and took Teagan's fingers out of her nose. "That's gross, Bugs." She shook her head and put her hands on her hips, "Moon shipped herself ta me."

Bobby: "That's gross?" Bobby snorted and crossed his arms. "Well, where's the rest of you, chica? Post office lose you?"

Teagan: "That's what I'm assuming." She said with a frown. "More shipments to come, all for Rogue though. Should've sent my head to you, that'd be funny."

Rogue: "Ain'tcha glad Ah pulled ya away from gradin' f'r this?" She beamed and bumped Bobby with her shoulder. Rogue laughed at Moon, "Ah told ya it woulda been."

Bobby: "No, what would have been funnier is ship it to Lorna with instructions to leave you on the pillow next to me in the morning." He laughed, then snorted a bit. Oh, he shouldn't give her ideas.

Teagan: Teagan made a mental note to remember to do that for her other arm. "So when I get all shipped out here, we gonna help put Humpty back together again?"

Rogue: Rogue winced at the reference and turned away to grab her drink, forcing away the thoughts of how she'd slipped when Sam died.

Bobby: Bobby raised an eyebrow at Rogue's reaction. Dammit. "Well, yeah, since we don't have Chewbacca to cart you around on his back... although Kyle might count."

Bobby: "So... why'd you got all postal anyway?"

Teagan: Teagan snorted. "Well, I wanted to fly, but it seems unregistered mutants, and most mutants in general, are having a hard time with international fights, especially those directed to New York. It's a bad time to be a mutant."

Bobby: "Ah. Yeah... that... actually makes sense." He tilted his head and studied ... the head. "Well, welcome back, living dead girl."

Rogue: Rogue sipped at her drink for a moment and nodded, "Yep. Welcome back, darlin'. Watch out f'r those crazies who'll try an' double tap ya though."

Bobby: "Actually, you double tap the ragers. She falls more in the whole Return of the Living Dead zombie species, so the only way to be sure would be to burn her." He scratched his chin and nodded. "But then the fumes would zombify everybody, and that's just not good for morale. Or the environment. I'm sure the EPA would fine us."

Teagan: She went from laughing to staring. "... You've thought a lot about this, Bobbo."

Rogue: "Scary ain't it?" She gave Teagan a big grin, letting her eyes look a little crazed.

Teagan: "I really should've shipped my punching arm..." She looked around suspiciously. "So do I get a room again, or am I getting stuffed in a linen closet like Harry Potter and the Zombie That Air-Mails Herself From Azkaban."

Bobby: "Or we could stuff you in some mecha for a zombie super soldier." He tried on his own manic grin for size.

Teagan: "You guys have gotten seriously bored around here, eh?"

Rogue: "Bored? Nah. More like sick." She shot her grin at Bobby and leaned in close to Teagan's ear, "Crazy." She stood up and put on her normal face, shrugging, "But who ain't these days?"

Bobby: "I heard that."

Teagan: "Just make sure at least once a week you put me in Snowball here's desk. Keep him on his toes." She smirked.

Bobby: His nose twitched at the snowball crack, but he shrugged. "Do your worst. I am always vigilant, and keep blunt objects at hand." He nodded.


[Edited on 24-1-2010 by Slarti]

[Starfish]

Heehee! That was wonderfully cracky fun, y'all! And yay Moon!

[Raven Hare]

Hepz and Kitty will have to be extra careful if they get a craving for ice cream from now on.

LOL! Very fun guys

[Elfdame]

LOVED IT! I didn't understand the Double Tap reference, but I don't manage to keep up with all the Games and Instances anyway ... Glad to have the li'l troublemaker (Ty-gan) back.

I haven't had time to read in a few days; sheez, I missed The Great Sam Death Scene and all?!

I swear, you people have contracted The Marvel Virus, best explained by this:

"He died, but he's alive again..."

[Esynthia]

well, saw you already read Sam's death. His awakening is Miracle Misfire. and the Double Tap is what you're supposed to do with zombies. So sayeth the Zombieland... LOL means you shoot them again once they look dead just to make double sure they stay dead.

[Elfdame]

Thanks ... I think "Zombieland" is a movie, right? At first I thought it might be a ref to some kind of game (I am too slow to do any kind of gaming ... I stick to Bejeweled Blitz).

I went back and read the ones where Sam died and stuff, after reading this one. Which was probably a good way to do it, in fact.

Several of my friends are into zombies, and one guy I know has published a few zombie stories, but it's soooo not my thing. I thought about writing a story in which people consider Jesus a zombie, but ... too many other irons in the writing fire at the mo.

This was a teriffically fun Instance. Loved it thoroughly.