6/23 Instance: Feedback Interruption

[Ferguson]

Current Timeline

Toxic: Adam was lying on his bed, sidelamp on and angled up so that the tin foil on his walls reflected it. His fingers were blurring, creating complicated cat's cradles out of string, pulling them apart and doing it again. A book was on the covers beside him and Bit was watching his fingers curiously - either in fascination or trying to work out when he could attack them safely.

Toxic: Occasionally Adam's eyes went to the messy bed on the other side of the room - and twitched before he distracted himself again. Mess. Mess was the enemy. Urgh. If these people couldn't even keep their space tidy, what hope did they have in the real world? He twitched again. Who was his roomie, anyway? He barely ever came up here these days, was only here to take a break from mixing.

Doug: Doug came into the room, laptop under his arm. His phone was vibrating loudly in his hand, but he wasn't answering it. No answering it was bad. So he just put it on the small desk where he played with his laptop most of the time and let it vibrate. He paused and blinked. "You! You're here!" He smiled at first then frowned. "What's wrong? You're HERE!" Now concerned.

Toxic: Adam stared at the other boy for a few beats longer than was strictly needed. "...Oh. Could have had worse, I guess." He replied, going back to the complicated string patterns in his hand. "Nothing's wrong. Taking a break. Possibly doing schoolwork and plotting a couple of murders." He flashed a grin. Was he joking? Maaaaybe.

Doug: "Not worth it. Just zen it out." He suggested was puzzled by the stare but then let it go. His phone had gone silent for a minute or two, but then it started to vibrate again. He ignored it. "I already finished my homework for this week according to the syllabus, but I still keep an eye out in case one of the teacher's are going to be sneaky this week and change something. Sneaky teachers." He said in his best 'gollum' voice. "Sneaky teachers." He repeated and sat down. He opened his laptop, but angled it so that Adam couldn't see the screen.

Toxic: "Zen doesn't work for me." Adam twitched at the vibration. "You gonna answer that?" The buzzing was irritating him far, far more than normal, breaking his concentration and- "Motherfuck!" -knotting up his string. He grumbled and tossed it to Bit, who bit it out of sheer habit of biting anything that moved near him. "I do my homework when I feel like it. Who cares about grades? Not like I'm ever gonna need 'em."

Doug: "No." He answered simply. "It's my mother. I'm not talking to her." He explained. "But I am talking to others. So I'm just ignoring her. What's wrong? You seem so... er... tense?" He offered. "I am... hm... let's just call it an overachiever when it comes to 'homework' and academic things. I'm not a genius or anything, but yeah. I care about my grades." He shrugged. "It's a benchmark for me."

Toxic: "Oh right. Your mam." Adam sighed, pushing himself to sit up, picking up one of the many sheets of paper by his bed and starting to fold it perfectly. "I'm not tense. This is normal. I just like to keep my hands busy and my mind distracted. You know, the whole boredom thing." Yeah, totally, it's not the voices. "Why? It's just letters on paper."

Doug: "Hard to explain if it isn't part of your 'personal' world or culture." Doug shrugged. "Everyone has their own personal 'world' or truth. In mine, it means something to me. To you, it doesn't. Both are 'okay'." He smiled. "No right or wrong in it. Do you have ADHD?" He asked, curious. "Or just regular level of bored and not wanting to think about whatever? I confess, even though I've been here for a bit, I don't know much about you." He tapped his computer's mouse pad a few times. He reached over and shut the phone off. "They can leave a message." He didn't want it to bother the other man.

Toxic: "Think I might have those letters in amongst some of the others, yes." Adam nodded a little. "It's easier just to assume I'm nuts. Most others do, and I guess it's not all that far from the truth." He tilted his head at Doug, eyes not coming off him. "I'm not precisely a buddy-buddy guy. I don't like people. That being said, you haven't done anything to irritate me yet so you're in the 'tolerate' category."

Toxic: He finished folding, starting to carefully tear the sheet into squares. Perfect squares. "There's not really much about me that's to know, but if you want, I can do a questions and answers. Beats schoolwork - and school's never meant anything to me. I got pulled out of mainstream school at twelve."

Doug: "I try to be social, but I'm not really good at it. My parents weren't too big on me hanging out with others." He admitted quietly. "But, if I did socialize I probably would have been a role-play gamer." He snorted in amusement. "I don't like to assume anyone is 'nuts'. I find a lot of times it is not understanding where they come from. But, if you're not 'social'... how would asking you questions keep me tolerated? Wouldn't it just end up annoying you eventually? I mean, shouldn't I be... quiet?" He offered. "I'd rather you find peace here and a place to relax and 'escape' rather than me get on your nerves."

Toxic: "My place to relax and escape is a mixing studio - and you'd annoy me if I didn't offer to answer questions, hmm?" Adam's face was oddly blank before he eyetwitched a little, shaking his head. "Geek, huh? I don't precisely socialise. More 'terrorise', apparently. But nuts is a good way of describing me. Just ask Jean-Paul." His face twisted for a moment into an almost-smile.

Doug: He tried to parse that sentence. "I'd annoy you, if you didn't offer to answers questions." How did that work? He frowned. "You know I have no idea what's gone on as far as interpersonal relationship are right?" He offered. "No seriously. I have no clue how anyone here has interacted with one another. I keep to myself. I doubt I'd be inclined to ask Jean-Paul anything about you? It's really probably not any of my business." He shrugged a shoulder.

Toxic: "JP and I had a thing. We don't have a thing any more. It's one of the many reasons I want to burn things right now." He tore out the last square and put it on the pile with the rest. Was he going to admit it was his fault? No, because it wasn't. He'd work on why later. Fucking people. "I meant you'd annoy me by questioning me if I hadn't already offered to answer said questions. But because I have offered to answer questions, you questioning me would not annoy. Better?"

Doug: "No." He shook his head. "I'd sit here and read." He smiled. "I don't ask people questions." He chuckled. He flushed a little. "I've never dated. Parents uh... frowned on that sort of interaction in high school." Pausing he added. "Adam? I don't have the slightest clue what to ask most people, much less you? Sometimes I'll find I have a zillion questions about something, but then sometimes? Nada." He said in almost apology. "What about doing 'controlled' burns?" He asked. "Safely burn something? Would that help? Or beat something up in the DR?"

Toxic: "Don't bother. With the dating thing, I mean. It's not worth it." Adam sneered. "Mnn. I try and I wind up in Dai's office - she's the school shrink, by the way. I'm not allowed any violent outlets because it'll open the doors to other problems, or so I'm told. About all I'm allowed to do is tear paper up." Adam muttered to himself and eyetwitched a little. "DR's not real. Doesn't feel the same, and I'm monitored."

Doug: "Hm. I wish I knew what could help." He admitted. "I'm not a violent person by nature. " He shook his head. "I'd suggest writing a letter with everything your angry about, but that probably won't help as you don't seem the type to want to write. You like art, but you said you're taking a break, but that's your best outlet really. My only other thought is... watch something funny." he was at a loss, really. "I'm horrible at this." He muttered to himself.

Toxic: "Yeah, you are, but the effort's appreciated." Adam snorted. "You're a nice guy, Doug. Kinda sorry that you have to room with me, I'm about the worst kind of roomie you could have landed with - well, except I'm never here, as you pointed out. I've tried being non-violent, really, really have, but it doesn't really work for me. Guess it's my powers or...something. I mean, I make people explode."

Doug: "You mean physically explode as opposed to just angrily explode, correct?" He asked for clarification. "Everyone has these really 'big' powers." He shook his head. "I dunno if I can keep up, to be honest." He paused and offered. "Have you tried running the violent anger out? I assume you're angry because of the 'thing' ending? Right?" Software and computers were just so much easier to deal with. If there was a problem, you just 'fixed' it. Or fiddled with it until it was fixed. No messy emotions involved.

Toxic: "Yeah...you know, messy stuff everywhere. Little hard to be passive with that kind of ability." Adam smirked. "And...that hasn't helped but...I'm just an angry person. I don't deal with anything very well, and my first response is to get angry at it." He started petting Bit, the tiny rabbit climbing onto his knee and watching Doug suspiciously.

Doug: "Isn't it tiring?" He asked. "Being angry all the time?" Doug couldn't even imagine living like that. "I just, not a confrontational person. Too much effort. For me, that is. It's like, for me to get angry, the energy is directed outward. I can only create so much energy in my emotional battery, and it is just too much effort to exert that much energy toward someone who doesn't even 'benefit' or get 'hurt' from that energy. I might as well save it for myself."

Toxic: "I think normally it would, you know." Adam rubbed the back of his head, for the forst time actually trying to work it out, frowning a little. "But it doesn't. If anything I get too...energetic because of it...like it feeds itself...you know?" He shrugged, letting it go. "I'm kinda really confrontational. I like being in people's faces if they piss me off. Or, if I can't because I'm not stronger, I'll just settle for making their life hell."

Doug: He frowned, "Feedback loop." He muttered. "Something needs to interrupt the feedback loop. Emotions are chemicals and electrical impulses. I wish I understood biology as much as I understand computers and languages. There's gotta be a way of constructively diverting that energy without feeding darker desires or causing harm to yourself or others. Because it seems to be damaging you on some level, if only mentally and emotionally. I don't consider you insane, merely that you have a problem and it needs... fiddled with. We all have our problems which need dealt with and all of us have room for improvement and fiddling to do."

Toxic: A fine blond eyebrow was arched. "I don't consider it a problem." He said quietly, though the technobabble fascinated him. "And...well...if it was just the anger issues, I'd agree with you, but I'm not going to give you a list of my mental problems. Let's just say I have a wide range of meds and-" No, don't tell the kid he wasn't taking them, he actually kinda liked Doug. He was cute. "What do you mean, interrupting feedback?"

Doug: He tapped his finger trying to explain it. "Well... feedback can be a process or a signal, even a mechanism let’s imagine you are a device just for a moment. We’re all ‘devices’. Anyway, in the normal course of things, we output and input. And we have positive feedback and negative feedback. Usually, positive feedback makes for evolution, changes in the body, etc. While negative feedback causes stabilization. It can get complicated, even with stereos.â€

[puppygirl]

I. Love. Doug. SososoSO much! Excellent instance you two!

[seftimiu]

Aww thank you. XD

[Starfish]

Heehee, yes, Doug deserves much