07/06 Instance: Does my bum look big in this?

[steyn]

Timeline: current


Wade was sittin on the recroom's couch, coffeetable pulled right up to his knees, hunched over as he thread a needle through some fabric.

"Needlecraft? Ain't often y' see a guy doin' dat," remarked Remy, who had peered into the room from the doorway. The guy on the recroom couch was one he'd met only once: a very unique individual, to say the least.

Told you. "Shush. Superheroes should be able to do the most basic things, which include cooking a full course meal, knowing how to hotwire a car, and most importantly, how to pimp out their costumes." Wade held up the X-Men costume the school provided, which was now a bit different with Wade's added red colour to the basic black leather suit.

"See, Gambit still don't get de costume t'ing," he admitted as he walked into the room, casing his gaze over the outfit Wade held up. "Makes y' a pretty easy target t' single out, non?" Plus... what was with all the skin-tight leather? Who designed these things?!

"I thought that was the idea, so people targeted us and not someone else. Kind of defeats the purpose if you smack someone over the head with a baseball bat and they just end up turning around to stab the old lady next to you. Well unless of course the old lady is wearing skintight leather, then she's just asking for trouble."

Remy couldn't say he agreed, but then his jobs had always been about staying unseen, so perhaps his outlook was bound to differ. "Y' ain't gettin' Gambit in one of dose t'ings, dat's f' sure." Hell, he could porbably make it look good... but Remy didn't do uniforms. Not on himself, anyway.

"Hmm, yeah, you look like the long caot sort of types, with a nice purplish pink shirt maybe? Add a bit of colour to it all." Wade back to needlework, stabbing his thumb from time to time. "Speaking of which, I actually started out with pink, had to switch over to red. Can't see the blood that well in red. Yarp."

"Pink?" Gambit repeated, eyebrow raised. The long coat idea he could work with... but pink? Honestly? He couldn't see that ever working for him. Couldn't see this guy in pink either, truth be told... and he wasn't even going to question the blood.

Leaning against the side of the couch, hands in his pockets, he couldn't help but be curious... "Just... how exactly did y' end up here, homme?"

"Well, it's a long story, it all started when my mommy and daddy decided to have a baby. Actually they probably didn't decide it, chances are the condom broke or dad lied about pulling out. Any how, so they got in the back of the car..."

"Don' need t' know dat far back!" he quickly interjected, having no desire to hear the story of Wade's conception. "Meant how'd y' get here. T' Xaviers," he clarified, a hand gesturing about the room.

"Ahhh, that'll shorten the story for sure. Well it happened back when I was in africa, I was a pickpocket in egypt when I was but a little girl and got teased a lot for my white hair... wait no, that's not it. Okay, now I remember, I tried joining the army, but they wouldn't let me in, I was too scrawny, but then I got into this secret experiment where they gave me this serum to become a super sol-"

Wade stopped and blinked, "Nope, that's not it...how the hell did I end up here... Hmm... hang a bit, I gotta go check the internet, I'm sure there's like a transcript or something on forum somewhere of how I got here."

....Yep, it was official. This guy was insane. "...Y' could just say if y' don't wanna talk 'bout it, homme."

"Oooh, nonononono I do wanna talk about it, I just need to remember what I'm talking about... Ting! I got it, I was in the psych ward at the hospital and the school councillor... I mean 'pshychiatrist' picked me up and dropped me off here."

Psych ward? Remy couldn't say he was too surprised to hear it. The guy seemed a few fries short of a Happy Meal, that was for certain. "And y' can do... what, exactly?"

"I grow scars on my skin." Wade said smugly.

"Can see dat much," he observed, the marks hardly possible to ignore. "Guessin' dat ain't all y' do though, homme?" Trying to get answers out of this guy was not proving easy, though whether that was because he didn't want to talk or was just plain bonkers was still yet to be seen.

"................................................oh right, yeah, I also heal. Look!" He said, taking the scissors and stabbing his hand with it. "SON OF A BITCH THAT HURT, WHY THE HELL DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT?!" It started to heal. "Ha ha! Gotcha!"

Woah, what the-?! Did he really just ram the scissor blades through his palm?! Gambit's entire body tensed at the mere look of it, though the following laugh was enough to tell him he'd been played. Before his very eyes, the skin started to heal over, the wound gone, and a smooth scar remaining. "A healer. Y' could have just said. Didn't need a demo."

"Where's the fun in that? Plus I had a maaaajor itch going on on my hand." Wade said, going back to his costume. He smirked and lifted it up, "See? Red works perfectly to hide blood. You can barely make out the splatter." The couch, coffee table and floor was a different matter.

..A point which Remy had noticed all too well as his eyes passed over the visible red stains. He felt sorry for whoever had to try and clean this place up. "Not de conventional type, are y'?" he said, more a statement than a question as he shook his head, smiling. This place really held all types, that was for sure.

"Ah, you noticed, then, eh?" Wade scratched an ear, "What about you, senor, what's your story? Lemme guess, you were bitten by a cosmic radiated spider and now you turn into a giant mosnter when you get angry. Amaright? Hmm? Hmm? Amaright!?"

"Not quite, mon ami," he chuckled, sitting down on the arm of the couch. "Non, Gambit was stuck in de city when de zombies hit. Caught some o' your lot lootin', and was invited home f' dinner. Jus'... haven't decided when t' leave yet."

"WE HAD ZOMBIES?! Why didn't anybody tell me?! I'm always the last to know!"

"Mebbe y' team-mates were worried you'd join de zombie forces," he suggested, not seeing it as beyond the realm of possibility.

"Hmm, good point." Wade said, needling the bit of needlework with his trussty rusty needle. "There we go, now let's see if it fits." he said, standing up.

"Looks pro," Remy observed, despite Wade not looking like the type to know the difference between a needle and a kitchen knife.

Wade placed the suit on the couch, then started taking off his shirt, and then his pants, exposing his scarred rear to the now scarred Gambit. Worst of all wasn't the hand prinst scar on the left cheek, but the fact he was wearing a Venom X-men male g-string.

"Mon dieu..." Gambit groaned. As Wade had begun to strip, Remy was certain there'd be a point where he'd stop for decencys sake. He should have known better, He was soon on his feet, turning to face the other way. There were some things in life he didn't need (or want) to see.

"Hmm, you're right....the suit's horribly tightfitting. Off with the undies as well!" Wade went au unnaturel, throwing the g-strin over his shoulder...which was unfortunately in the direction of Gambit. "Ooooh... the leather bits are cold." *Snap!* *Ziiiiiiiip!* *Squeek squeek* "There we go, whaddya think?"

Thong landing on the carpet besides Gambit's feet, he forced his mind to a happier place where he didn't have to imagine the scene going on behind him. Why wouldn't the girls of this place just randomly strip while he was in the room? Why this guy?!

Finally, it was safe to turn (though Remy still did it with a degree of trepidation). The suit was... well, it was a suit. "Y' look like y' fell from a comic book, homme," he offered, not knowing what else to say about an outfit that left really nothing to the imagination.

"Excellent, I was going for something like that. Now just to see how this thing flies," Wade said, turning around and quickly stepping on the couch and diving off it on the other side, landing with a thud. "It doesn't fly." he groaned as he got up.

"And you're surprised by dis?" Remy said, unable to keep up with this unusual guys flips from one subject to the next. He was too random to follow... which made him pretty interesting, Remy guessed. "Mebbe it needs wings, non?"

"Mmmaybe, or just a better running start and a higher launchpad. Oh, speaking of luanchpads, does it look like I'm stuffing?" he asked looking down at his groin.

"Mon dieu... non, y' look fine," exclaimed Remy in exhasperation, having been unable to stop himself glancing down along with Wade, and wishing he hadn't. "Dis rate, y' might as well just go in au natural, non?"

Wade stared at him in astonishment, "Sir, what kind of man do you think I am! I am not some hippy that runs aroun with bits flopping around willy nilly. That's poppycock, that is! Now... where was I... oh right, I'm gonna grab a cup of joe, you want some?" He asked, thumbing to the kitchen.

Again, the snap change in topics threw Gambit into stunned silence for a moment, before the tenative response of "Oui, sure.." fell from his lips. As odd as Wade was, Remy had little else to do right now, and everyone else seemed to have hidden themselves away for the day. At least Wade was interesting, right? "Sure dat you havin' caffeine is a good idea, homme?"

"Ohhh yes, caffeine and sugar. I like my coffee how I like myself, strong, black and sweet." Wade said as he opened the door to the kitchen.

"But y' not-" Remy began, before cutting himself short. "Never mind. Gambit'll have what yo' havin'," he sighed, figuring it best not to question or argue. With Wade, it seemed, it was better not to ask questions.

[KayJay]

" Wade placed the suit on the couch, then started taking off his shirt, and then his pants, exposing his scarred rear to the now scarred Gambit."

Fave line XD

[Edited on 6/7/11 by KayJay]

[puppygirl]

Oh God ... so, so much for Wade, and poor Remy

[JSherlock]

Oh man! POOR Remy. but I so love Wade. <3 muchly.