6/21 Instance: Forcing a Solution

[Starfish]

Timeline: Current.


Jessica: Jess found herself with some free time for a change and wasn't sure what to do with herself. Feeling like she should do something productive, she decided she should make an effort to tackle a problem. She headed down to the relevant office and knocked on the door.

Cessily: "Please, come on in!" Cessily Kincaid was lounging in her office chair, feet resting on the edge of the couch that stood next to her desk. She looked up from her magazine and at the door.

Jessica: Jess pushed the door open slowly and poked her head inside. "Um... are you busy?"

Cessily: "Never too busy for any of my students," Cessily replied, smiling at the girl. "Hey, Jessica, nice to see you."

Jessica: "Hi..." she made it the rest of the way through the door and closed it behind her, "You're... you're the counsellor... right?"

Cessily: "Among other things, yes that would be me." Her smile widened, and she took her feet off the couch to sit up properly. Closing her magazine, she put it down on the desk. "Want to take a seat?"

Jessica: She gave a small jerky nod and went to do that. She stared at the floor for a while after that.

Cessily: "Apparently I'm a really good listener, so some people suggested I should do that professionally." Cess chuckled. "Can I offer you anything? Tea, coffee, a glass of water?"

Jessica: She glanced up, "Tea... would be nice... thank you...." she nodded again and returned to studying the carpet. She didn't want to talk about it really but she had to sooner or later....

Cessily: Cessily got to her feet and filled the small water boiler to be found on the nearby cabinet, fetching two cups and bags of tea next. "So, did you just want to share a cup with me, or is there anything else I can help you with," she asked, waiting for the water to boil. "Not that I wouldn't love doing that."

Jessica: "No... I have a reason... I just... I've never really done this...." She ran a hand through her hair, "So... tea will help... probably...."

Cessily: "Oh, it always does, believe me," she said with a smile, sitting down again. "And I know that your first time can be a bit strange and unsettling. First time of counseling, I mean. We're in no rush, though. Just take your time."

Jessica: She nodded. "I don't know if I want to do it or not... I should though..." She chewed her lip.

Cessily: "Whenever you're ready," Cessily tried to encourage her, turning around when she heard the click of the boiler. "As I've said, there's no rush. If you don't feel like talking today, that's fine. We can just have some lovely tea." She poured the steaming water into the two cups.

Jessica: She nodded, "Yeah... thanks..." she lifted her head and looked around the office. It was nice... cosy... "I'm surprised you're not more busy... what with everything that's been happening... maybe a part of me wanted you to be..."

Cessily: "Oh, most students know I don't have fixed office hours, so they each have their own time and place to stop by and have a chat with me." She stirred both cups. "Others are reluctant to see me, while a few might even have become accustomed to situations like these."

Cessily: Cessily frowned. "I'm not sure if that would be really a good thing, though." She smiled again, looking at Jessica. "Milk? Sugar?"

Jessica: "Yes please... just one sugar is fine....." Jess gave a small smile in return.

Cessily: After preparing her guest's cup, she set it down on the table in front of her. "Here you go," Cess said, before getting her own. "So, current events aside, how do you like it here, so far?"

Jessica: "Thanks..." she sat back into the cushions and gave a half shrug, "It's different... okay I guess.... I don't really have a lot to compare it to..."

Cessily: "That's true." She chuckled, idly stirring her tea. "I guess few people do, as nothing could really prepare you for a place like this."

Jessica: "Yeah... it's not just that though... I've never been in a situation like this... with so many people or actual schooling... Or friends...."

Cessily: Cessily nodded, wearing a thoughtful expression. "Yes, from what I've heard, you didn't exactly have what most people would call a regular childhood," she said. "I mean, you weren't attending any school when my colleagues found you."

Jessica: She shook her head, "I've never attended a school... I had tutors but.... nothing like this... It was just me and my dad..."

Cessily: "So, is it the transition that's bothering you," Cess asked, raising her cup to take a sip. "Regardless of the terrible things that happened lately, all of this has to be quite new for you then."

Jessica: "I don't know.... I think it's just everything.... I could have dealt with the change better maybe if it wasn't for all the other things... It's dragged some stuff up... stuff I never really dealt with the first time around..."

Cessily: "Do you want to talk about some of those thing," Cessily asked, calmly stirring her tea.

Jessica: "No... not really..." she looked down at her tea, "But that's the thing I should be talking about."

Cessily: "I'm not going to pressure you, if that's what you're worried about," Cessily assured her. "We can talk about as little or as much as you like today."

Jessica: "They're dead, you know... my parents...." she was still talking to her tea. "Mum died when I was little, I don't remember her very much.... and my dad... he died in a car crash.... and I survived..."

Cessily: She remained silent for a moment, biting her lip. "I'm sorry to hear that, Jessica," Cessily then said. "This must have been very hard for you."

Jessica: "Yeah... it must have been... I guess if I'd stopped and thought about it.... but between being operated on wide awake, waking up from a coma, being told my dad was dead and then finding out I had nowhere to live.... I didn't really have time to take it in...."

Jessica: "I know he's dead... I know that... and I know I have no one now and nothing... but none of that really... it sounds horrible but it doesn't bother me..."

Cessily: "This is... quite unusual, to say the least." Cessily ran a hand through her shiny red hair. "Most people would be heavily traumatized by something like that." She gave Jessica a curious look. "Do you believe that you can't allow it to bother you, perhaps?"

Jessica: She gave a helpless shrug, "Probably... I had a lot to do afterwards and then... it was just so... I don't know... far away?" she actually had a sip of her tea now. "It didn't get to me at all... I just put it all behind me and tried to look forward...."

Cessily: Cessily nodding slowly. "I'd say this makes sense, as far as coping mechanisms are concerned," she said. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about, or is there something else perhaps?"

Jessica: "It's related...." She had another sip of tea, "I keep.... I'm... I'm having nightmares... about the crash...."

Cessily: "This is only understandable," Cessily told the student. "And might be a hint that you haven't left behind this tragedy yet, as much as you may believe otherwise."

Jessica: "They started after we got Fam- er, Michael back... I think it was just.... being on the highway.... there was a crash there... and I froze... I've never done that before..."

Cessily: "Oh my, that must have brought back a lot of bad memories, didn't it?" Cessily did her best to give the girl a comforting look.

Jessica: Jess nodded, "It... I don't know.... It's just... hard... and Danny's talking about driving somewhere over the summer and I can't even handle being in a car from here to the city and I haven't told him and I don't want to...."

Cessily: "Why not? I'm certain he'd understand when you explained to him that you're uncomfortable driving in a car. And it's not like you don't have other options of travel available."

Jessica: "Because I don't want to give him another reason to keep protecting me. I don't need it."

Cessily: "Hm, I see." Cessily smiled and let out a sigh. "However, putting yourself through a traumatic experience just for a vacation can't be solution either, can it? You wouldn't have to tell him everything, you know?"

Jessica: "I won't have to tell him anything if I can get over it first. That's why I'm here now..."

Cessily: Cessily gave the young woman a serious look. "You know that's asking a lot, do you?" The smile returned to her lips. "It's good to have confidence, but I'm afraid such things rarely resolve themselves in a matter of days."

Jessica: "Well that's okay because we have a few weeks." She finished her tea, "I can do this... I know I can. I've overcome everything else. This is just one more thing..."

Cessily: "Jess, I'm really not sure that's the right approach," Cess said, her lips forming a thin line. "Or the right reason, either. Don't misunderstand me, I'll help you where I can, but you can't force these things."

Jessica: "I can and I will. This is how I work.... it's what he trained me to be. There's no point- if I... I want him to be proud of me."

Cessily: "You father," Cessily asked, even though she was quite sure to already know the answer.

Jessica: She nodded, "It's the only thing that gives me purpose anymore."

Cessily: "I see." She put her hands around her cup of tea. "I believe we have a lot to work on then, and I'm not talking about the nightmares alone." Cessily put on a slight smile.

Jessica: She frowned a little, "I only need help with getting and staying in a car. Everything else is fine."

Cessily: "Well, we'll see, yes? Who knows, maybe you'll discover some other things you'd like to talk about down the line." She smiled encouragingly "I'll help you where I can, but you have to understand that I can't promise you anything."

Jessica: "I know... it's going to be mostly up to me... but that's okay... I just sometimes need encouragement... and preferably from someone I won't confuse with my powers... It's good to know that the person qualified to do that fits the criteria... gives me hope."

Cessily: "That's certainly something I can do for you, yes," Cessily said, showing a smile. "I've found that what is even more important than someone providing encouragement is someone being there to help you back up when faced with the inevitable setbacks."

Jessica: She nodded, "Well... let's not think about potential setbacks because they might not happen and I don't want to put myself off."

Cessily: "It never hurts to be prepared for some hurdles, though," Cessily replied. "As I've said, it's never good to force things like that. Even though a healthy dose of confidence can't be bad, either."

Jessica: "I've been forced into things all my life, I can handle it."

Cessily: Sucking on her lip, Cessily then put on a smile and nodded. "I hope you don't mind that I'll want to consult with one of my colleagues first, who's a professionally trained psychologist. Things like these go a little beyond my expertise as student counselor."

Jessica: She nodded, "That's fine... as long as no one uses any of this as an excuse to wrap me up in cotton wool..."

Cessily: Cessily chuckled. "Now, I'm pretty sure you won't have to be afraid of that happening," she said.

Jessica: "You'd be surprised." she ran a hand through her hair and glanced at the door.

Cessily: She arched an eyebrow. "Well, I guess we'll see about all that then, no?" Reaching into her desk drawer, she pulled out a small notepad. "How about we schedule another session? I can check your course table and see where to fit you in. I'd like to talk about a few more details, so it would be good if we had some time."

Jessica: She nodded, "Yeah... that's fine... I have job too though um... I'll give you my work timetable later...."

Cessily: "Oh yes, I'm sure I can arrange something that will work for you." Cessily's smile grew bigger. "As I've said, I try to be there for my students, and I don't know any hours off."

Jessica: Jess got to her feet, "Well, um... I'll see you then... thanks for the tea..." she gave an awkward wave and headed for the door.

Cessily: "Anytime!" Cessily sent a smile after the girl, before focusing on her pad and began to take notes. Something told her that this might turn out to be more involved than either Jess or she herself expected.

[Slarti]

So what Cess is telling you is that your mind is like a bag of cats, girl!