6/23 Instance: Whosits and whatsists

[Ferguson]

Current Timeline


<Jason> "That is single-handedly, without a doubt, the ugliest painting I have ever seen in my life." Jason stood in front of the eyesore he was referring to, frowning most displeased at it as he crossed his arms, thinking if perhaps it might be the single ugliest thing he had ever seen but no, a few of the things he had done over the years topped it.

<Jason> "It's like Thomas Kincade painted his hallmark old lady puzzle crap and had his overdoes on this thing. It's a monument to the dead infact shitting themselves afterwards."

<@Monet> "That may be so, amant, but surprisingly it is worth quite a fortune." She took his elbow and pulled him over to the one she wanted to hang over their bed. "Wouldn't this be absolutely thrilling to look at during sex? I think the colors just scream 'orgasm'. Don't you?"

<Jason> "There is some good use of red." Jason nodded approvingly, not sure what exactly that said about them but accepting it anyway.

<@Monet> "Perfect." She waved over a sales associate, "We'll take this one, sil vous plait. I want a solid cherry frame, hand carved designs to match the texture of the paint. Have it delivered in one hour." She waved her hand at him, "Shoo."

<@Monet> Monet looked up at the painting again with a nod, "What else shall we get today? Maybe a nice Monet? I do so love him, you know."

<Jason> "You do have a theme to uphold." Jason was chuckling, watching the sales associate scurry off on a task he wasn't quite certain was actually possible. "You know, if it wasn't for the fact we always spend too much they must hate seeing us coming."

<@Monet> "Oh, I know they hate seeing us coming," she gave him a knowing grin. "The only one who doesn't is the manager. And that's only because she doesn't have to deal with us." Monet pulled him along the gallery, looking for another suitable painting, but turning her nose up at nearly every one. "Do you see any you would like for your study?"

<Jason> "I think she thinks it's funny, myself. She probably sends out the worker who has been annoying her all day." Jason murmured under his breath as he looked around at the paintings in question. "Not really, though God knows it could use something. I know how much you love the fact I leave charts around the place as if they were a fixture."

<@Monet> "I might find a kindred spirit in her if that's the case," she grinned. Her grin turned sour at the mention of the charts, "Oui. I am absolutely enthralled with how you have chosen to decorate it," she deadpanned.

<Jason> "But lets remember, if I didn't do so you wouldn't have an excuse to pull me out shopping for decorations, and then what would we be doing with our day?"

<@Monet> "Making some poor stranger miserable. What else do we do on our days together?" She grinned at him and pulled him out of the gallery to continue shopping for things to brighten up his apartment.

<Jason> "Sometimes I wonder how we are allowed into some places we are still, you know?" Jason chuckled, walking along and making himself shop because he wasn't getting out of this any other way. "Anything you want to look for particularly?"

<@Monet> "Not particularly, non. I just like to shop. Haven't you learned this by now? And I like having you shop with me so that I don't have to carry anything and also so that we can make people's lives just a bit more horrid together." She browsed the windows as they walked by a few shops. "Oh my. Now that hideous sculpture deserves a nice spot to gather dust in your study," Monet gestured at the lifesize statue of a naked man with what looked to be e

<@Monet> to be elephantitis bending over a fallen bird. She actually shuddered, "Why? Who would think that attractive?"

<Jason> "We need to get away from it. I think my gag reflex is actually about to kick in." Jason stared at it, mouth slightly open as he lost all hope in the world, not that he had ever actually had any. "Maybe people who buy into the whole 'gothic' thing buy it. I know it'd fall under horror."

<@Monet> Monet grinned and pulled him away from that store quickly. "Luckily, it will not share a space in our home." She paused at a jewelry store and eyed a diamond bracelet in the window. "I need that. Let's go in."

<Jason> Oh no, jewelry, the scourge of his pocketbook. Jason had to laugh as they went in. "Sometimes I think you actually will stop breathing if you don't get such things, you know?" He teased good-naturedly, glancing about the place. "I might not make it out of here alive or not sold into slavery."

<@Monet> "I just might," she smirked and had the clerk retrieve the bauble from the window so she could try it on. "I would never sell you into slavery. You're too valuable to me to be picking cotton or some such things for anyone else." Monet waved a hand at him, "Pick out some cufflinks or something for yourself. My treat. Just like everything else you enjoy."

<Jason> "I'd make a horrible slave anyway, can you imagine?" He was pretty sure he would actually be returned. If it wasn't such a hassel it might be quiet the scheme. "I do enjoy that." He smirked, doing just that.

<@Monet> Monet laughed, "They would likely want their money back plus interest for your lack of work and will to do anything else but be a mooch off of their land and good graces." She held up the wrist with the bracelet for him to admire, "Oui or non?"

<Jason> "Oui." He nodded, approving of the bracelet. "And I am hardly a mooch, I'm just more meant for highrises than a field...plus I could always illusion money and buy the entire operation and be gone before anyone was the wiser. It really is a wonder I haven't turned to a life of crime." Well, more crime anyway.

<@Monet> Monet arched a skeptical eyebrow at him, "Mmhmm." She had the sales clerk put the bracelet behind the counter for her as she went to see what Jason was finding. "Anything catch your eye?"

<@Jason> "Who'sits and whats'its galore." Jason deadpanned, almost ashamed at that one as he looked about. "...you want to really traumatize the sales people?"

<Monet> Monet blinked at him, "Been watching little girl movies lately, amant?" She arched an eyebrow at his question and leaned in, intrigued, "Oui. Toujours. What did you have in mind?"

<@Jason> "Ginny's been getting horrible things stuck in my head." Jason shook his head, fully ashamed now as he was mentally finishing the song. "Well, I ask you, what is the one thing they probably would never, ever want to sell us in here?"

<Monet> "I can think of more than one thing, darling." She frowned at him for a moment and then her eyes narrowed, "You don't mean. You can't be serious..."

<@Jason> "Well not serious serious." Jason laughed. "Can you imagine?"

<Monet> Well that was a relief. She laughed along with him now, "I can. But I would like to not have to only imagine." Monet gave him a grin and kept walking along the cases until she came to the one she wanted and stopped, "Would you like to do the honors since I was so horrid to the boy in the gallery? Or do I get the joy of doing it twice in a row?"

<@Jason> "Oh, I think we can share this one. This is going to kill at least a few hours." Jason decided, waving their hapless sales associate over. "You know, we probably make people go postal, don't we?"

<Monet> "At the very least," she agreed. "I like to say we give them a nice case of PTSD also sometimes." Monet looked down in the case and actually tried to find a wedding band she actually liked. "Open this up, darling. We want to browse," she glanced up at the sales associate and couldn't stop her grin at the wide eyes. Oh this was going to be fun.

[Ult_Sm86]

YOU WANT A THINGAMABOB!? I GOT PLENTY!

BUT WHO CARES?!?! NO BIG DEAL!?!

IIIII WAAAAAANT MOOOAAAAAAAR!!

<@Monet> "I just might," she smirked and had the clerk retrieve the bauble from the window so she could try it on. "I would never sell you into slavery. You're too valuable to me to be picking cotton or some such things for anyone else." Monet waved a hand at him, "Pick out some cufflinks or something for yourself. My treat. Just like everything else you enjoy."

You know... it might help that I've been on a Frasier kick via Netflix, but I just realized how much Monet reminds me of the character MEL from the sitcom Frasier.