2/10 Instance: Bursting

[Slarti]

Timeline: Valentine's Day

<Lorna> Lorna looked up to Bobby, face really quite serious as she came up with the perfect way to summarize the feelings she wanted to share with him at this moment. "I'm going to can and pickle your balls and put them out as a centerpiece every holiday."

<Bobby> "Well... at least it's just my balls?" Bobby winced and tried to squeeze Lorna's hand, though he was already losing feeling in it. As it turned out, when that magic moment came that Lorna was ready to go to the hospital - read, medlab - there was more cursing than proclamations of a blessed event.

<DrMcCoy> Popping up from Lorna's nether regions, Hank slid his spectacles back up on his nose with a big finger. "You're doing fine, Lorna dear." He turned to his chart to scribble. "Everything is perfectly normal."

<Lorna> It hadn't been mere cursing; it had been creative cursing, things that Xavier University had never heard the likes of before and likely would never hear again. Lorna would be proud in any other circumstance and if Paige tried to get one red cent out of her for a swear jar Lorna might consider eating her friend.

<Lorna> "I'm still thinking about the rest of you and if I have use for it or not." Lorna replied...mostly joking. "And drugs? Am I doing well enough for drugs?"

<DrMcCoy> "Oh... did Scott not explain? There were pamphlets..." He spun back around on one foot and whipped the spectacles back off for a polish.

<Lorna> Lorna gave Hank a flat look, then gave the same look to Bobby. What was this shit?

<Bobby> "Well, Scott shoved them at us and did some stuttering..." At another bone-crushing squeeze to his hand, his voice went up an octave. "But we were really, really clear that Lorna wanted drugs."

<DrMcCoy> "Yes, well, she can have them during active labor. This is not active labor." He set the small glasses back on his nose and inspected the chart.

<Lorna> "...are you saying my kid's pre-game punching my womb? This isn't what I'd call inactive, what's the hold up here?"

<DrMcCoy> "Scott did make a notation you requested an epidural, yes." He checked his watch. "That... may take a while, I'm afraid. It's not pre-game punching, as you say - it's not the fetus at all. It's dilation... which must occur for the fetus to pass through the birth canal."

<Bobby> Bobby's nose wrinkled. "I think I'd like it if you gave her the drugs now, doc..."

<Lorna> "Okay....when can I get drugs?" Lorna locked eyes with Hank, hoping for a very short answer.

<DrMcCoy> Flashing her a toothy smile, he answered as simply as he knew how. "Well, you see, dilation must occur, so, you must reach at least four to five centimeters.... my dear, don't look at me like that, it's not my body slowing this down." Hank sniffed.

<Bobby> "She said when... and I think she might kill us both if you make her wait too long..."

<DrMcCoy> Giving Bobby a long-suffering glare until he shut up, he turned his attention back to Lorna. "You are at one centimeter. Do the math." Hank plunked down the chart and walked out of the room, waving over his shoulder. "You're doing great! I'll be back soon."

<Lorna> "...just one centimeter? I can now pass a shooter for one hell of a game of marbles." Never before had Lorna hoped that Maddie would be as small as she was wishing now.

<Lorna> "How can that be all that it's done so far? It feels like things've been going for ages."

<Bobby> "I'm sorry, babe..." He reached into his pocket to check his phone and... there was no way he was telling her it had only been an hour. "Seems like..." Wistfully, he stared at the door. Hank had left him. "Want me to get you some more water?"

<Lorna> "And the jaws of life to end this early." Lorna nodded, flopping back against her pillow and grousing terribly. This part shouldn't be this long at all; it just wasn't right. "...and if you see any of Hank's Twinkies they're now mine. I claim them... and to hell with anyone would try to claim them as well."

<Bobby> "Right, I'll watch out for the Twinkies... be right back." He dropped a kiss onto her forehead before going out the door. After a few minutes and an uncomfortable conversation with Hank, he returned with water, Twinkies, and a large, bright yellow ball. "Heeeey..."

<Lorna> "...what the hell is that?" Lorna asked, a look of confusion and apprehension on her face. "I wondered what was taking so long. Twinkies?"

<Bobby> "I have Twinkies!" He fumbled the wrapper off and handed her the cakey delight, then turned to the ball. "Yeah, well... Hank suggested you... could... bounce on it?"

<Lorna> "...bounce on it?" That was the most ridiculous thing that she had ever, ever heard. "That basically sounds like the last thing I want to do. Balance isn't my strong suit right now."

<Bobby> "It apparently might speed things up." Now he knew why Hank had sent him in here. If looks could kill... "H-he gave me another pamphlet... there are... exercises..." Bobby gave the ball a doubtful look himself. "It's like... the sit and bounce from hell..."

<Lorna> "If we were going to have ball bouncing who's idea was it to let me lay down all ready?" Lorna griped, pulling herself up and to the side of the bed. "I'm having my Twinkie before any bouncing happens, though."

<Bobby> "Good plan." He looked through the instructions, a permanent look of horrified distaste on his face. "I'm... really sorry about all this. You'd think they'd have it more, uh, organized, considering people have been having babies... well, forever."

<Lorna> "It's bouncing on a ball, I think we don't need to worry about any diagrams or anything." Lorna attacked her Twinkie with all the crankiness in her.

<Bobby> "Ooookay." Bobby fought and lost to the urge to step back from her and all her snack cake rage.

<Lorna> Lorna eyed the ball still with an air of distrust. "Maybe jumping jacks first. I still don't know how I'm supposed to get off the ball."

<Bobby> "But you can do jumping jacks?" He was eying Lorna with more of an air of fear. He was lucky she couldn't smell it on him. "How are you feeling... like, right now... 'cause like ten minutes ago you were swearing in about three languages."

<Lorna> "Consider this the calm before the storm." Lorna sighed, hoisting herself up off of the bed. "It's going to be a miracle if I can do much of either I think."

<Bobby> Bobby moved to try to help her. "Yeah... I would think." He cast a glance out the door to look for Hank.

<Lorna> "So...did the pamphlet have any suggestions about how to get on the ball like this without it rolling every which way?" Lorna rolled it to her, attempting to wedge it with the bed.

<Bobby> "I could ice it in place?" He considered this, then just held it in place and steered her toward it.

<Lorna> "I'd rather not have a chilled ball...bad thoughts about getting stuck like a tongue to a pole." Lorna admitted, slowly sitting down and giving a tester bounce.

<Bobby> "How's that?" He knee-shuffled around to face her and put his hands on her hips to help her balance. "Looks... fun."

<Lorna> "Well, bouncing with the belly's not the best thing in the world but if it forces her out faster we're bouncing." And someone was getting her the biggest cup of coffee she could imagine, possibly with booze. She took a breath and began bouncing.

<Bobby> "Wonder if there's anything else that could force her out. Too bad Illyana never figured out that teleportation thing." He watched her bounce a few times. "We've got that phaser girl now..."

<Lorna> "I still think we should have asked Clarice about portals...I wonder if Kat could grab and pull. That'd be fantastic!...do you think Rubin's sparkleballs would count as a drug?"

<Bobby> "We should have thought of all of this before but since we were told you could have drugs," he said the last part rather louder and toward the door. "We've got some telepaths hanging around... could have made use of them, too."

<Lorna> "Can we get Rachel down here and just make me think I'm skipping through a colourful meadow or something?" Lorna asked slightly hopeful as she bounced away. "This is just going to make me need to pee."

<Bobby> "I don't know... Rachel might make you think something even worse." He bounced in place along with her.

<Lorna> "Would you want to anger the pregnant lady about to shoot a baby out?"

<Lorna> "She may have went all dark side for a while there but there are some things you don't mess with."

<Bobby> "I don't want to anger you, but Rachel could find hilarity in the situation... you could get visions of the baby popping out with a top hat and cane and belting showtunes... though... she is your baby, so it's possible."

<Lorna> "That would be awesome, actually...Now I'm going to be a little sad that didn't happen so we could get pictures of that...we're getting a baby top hat and cane though, just so you know. Phone your mother and let her know."

<Lorna> "Just as long as she doesn't make me think it's a chestburster I'll be just fiiiine with it."

<Bobby> "Check, call Maddie about Maddie's hat." Bobby was pretty sure the bouncing was making Lorna giddy, so he babbled on. "Chestburster, right... think she's gonna burst something else-" Brain caught up with mouth and he closed it with a click of teeth and a sheepish grin.

<Lorna> Lorna stopped bouncing and looked up at him slowly. "Hank should have given you a smaller ball for your mouth."

<Bobby> "Right." Bobby pressed his lips together and nodded slowly.

<Lorna> He best bet his ass that was right. Lorna returned to her bouncing, hoping this was at least doing something. "Oh god, now I just keep thinking of bursting. If this ball pops I'm screwed."

<Bobby> After silently watching Lorna for a long few moments, Bobby was about to burst himself. "I'llgocallmomthen," he got out in a rush. Checking his phone, he started to get up and accidentally bumped a wheeled table, which promptly knocked into Lorna's big bouncy ball.

<Fergie> The ball popped, leaving Lorna flailing and squatting in a way that made her resemble an especially excited crab. "Bobby! Bobby, gravity, Bobby, get over here!"

<Bobby> Bobby eeped and dropped his phone, kicking it under the bed where it made an alarming breaking clacking sound. "Another one!" He grabbed for Lorna, catching her by the arm just before her ass could hit the ground.

<DrMcCoy> "How are you two getting on in there?" After that commotion, Hank was up and on his way in. "....oh my stars and garters!"

<Lorna> Lorna's other arm flailed around and she lifted herself up with Bobby and her powers. "Oh that better have worked...I'm afraid we've killed your ball, Hank."

<Bobby> "I'm supposed to ask if you have a smaller one for my mouth," Bobby added, helping Lorna back onto the bed. "Primarily to stop from asking stupid questions, so I'll get it out of the way. Can she have drugs now?"

<DrMcCoy> Biting his lip at the both of them, Hank snapped on his gloves to violate some personal space again. After a few moments of "hmm" and "oh" he looked back up at Lorna.

<Lorna> "Questions is all right and good. I just don't want to hear any of your comments on what's getting burst." Lorna snarked back at Bobby, sighing and letting Hank do his thing. "So, are we ready for the moving van...drugs?"

<DrMcCoy> "Yes, I do believe we are ready to administer some anesthetic." Looking between the two, he couldnt help his amused expression. "Bursting?"

<Bobby> Annoyed now himself, Bobby snapped. "Yeah, busting out of her like in Alien, but right now I think Ripley's name for the queen is about right."

<Lorna> "...I'm going to cook a ton of things with cheese one day and when you're complaining about God's own constipation I'm going to watch and tell you you're only one centimeter dilated for your wimpy little food baby, then I'll make little exploding noises of it bursting through."

<Bobby> "Give her the drugs!"

[tears~fall~like~glass]

[steyn]

Well... Rubin's pixieballs could be used to make her enjoy the birthing...

[Starfish]

You know, if one is looking for ways to get spawnlings out quickly and painlessly, Blink has these teleportation crystal shards...

[Starfish]

Penny: http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/1 ... kes-a-crap
Koto: ....
Shaw: ....
Shaw: now you need to link that to the childbirth instance

[PsychoKez056]

XD *dies laughing*