3/12 Instance: Letting Go

[tears~fall~like~glass]

timeline: after How to Save a Life


<Cecilia> Cecilia slammed her palms down hard on the piano keys, sighing in frustration as she fucked up the song she was trying to learn yet again. Yiruma's work wasn't hard to learn and this piece was repetitive as hell, she just...couldn't seem to get things right.
 
<Cecilia> With another sigh, she flipped the sheet music back a few pages and tried again. Soft music filling the room again. Hopefully soon she'd get this right and her mind would quit racing and go silent for awhile. Something that was happening less and less everyday as she continued to lose sleep.
 
<Mayday> Stretching, Mayday Parker emerged into the room, unzipping her hoodie, "It appears my good deeds for today are not finished!", she triumphantly declared, skipping over to Cecilia, "Helloooooo bestie!",
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia startled as someone came up behind her, slamming her knee against the top of the piano and sending her palms crashing down on the keys yet again. "Ow...fuck...Hi Mayday..." she grit out, tears of pain springing to her eyes. "Nice to see you too."
 
<Mayday> "Come on, what's up?", Mayday took a seat beside her at the keyboard, "Wanna talk about it?"
 
<Cecilia> "What makes you think there's anything to talk about?" Cecilia asked, rubbing her knee. Fuck. "Just 'cause the song's sad doesn't mean I'm in here emoing or anything."
 
<Mayday> Mayday gave Cecilia the blankest look she could, remaining completely silent for a few moments.
 
<Mayday> "Ah!", she suddenly announced, "My bullshit-sense is tingling(!)", she rolled her eyes.
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia snorted a bit derisively. "God between you and Fabian..." she shook her head. "Nothing really. I just ran into Hisako awhile ago in the medlab...she'd had a brain hemorrhage from taking Kick to augment her powers."
 
<Cecilia> "I was an asshole, we argued a bit, we talked for a bit...then she pulled out the 'we were never friends' card and then...I dunno... had another brain hemorrhage or something the next moment 'cause then she was all apologetic and saying I was right all along..."
 
<Cecilia> She shook her head. "...And I just said I'd had enough and called it a day." Cecilia placed her hands back on the keys and played few notes. "I've had enough."
 
<Mayday> ".....so....wait, she had a brain hemorrhage?", Mayday blinked, "N-no, wait...sorry...", she thought over what was said again, "...hold on, you're dismissing her because she thought you weren't 'friends'? D'you ever think her definition of 'friend' is different from yours?", she waved her hands, "WE are friends, Cee-Cee. You and Eddie Brock? Could also be called friends."
 
<Mayday> She shook her head, "Literally NOBODY in the school would see you and Hisako Ichiki as being 'friends'. You're constantly at her throat, you insult her every chance you get in conversation with others, and you do nothing but bitch about her.", she leaned on the side of the keyboard, "Either you're madly in love with her or you're enemies.", she smirked.
 
<Mayday> Mayday paused, "....then again, she does have a cute little butt, doesn't she?"
 
<Cecilia> "It's a very fine line between love and hate," Cecilia admitted, snorting. "Both take a lot of commitment and let's not get into how much I used to argue- still argue- with my boyfriend at times."
 
<Cecilia> "I'm not saying we are friends," Cecilia said, frowning. "We haven't been for awhile- especially after the shit she pulled- but we were, once. Before she lost her shit and just..." she waved her arms a little. "I dunno, I tried to help her 'cause she was my friend and I had good intentions but I just...seemed to make things worse."
 
<Cecilia> "It didn't sting that she said we weren't friends now," Cecilia clarified. "It hurt more than she decided we were never friends at all. It's like...I put in and got nothing in return." She sighed, looking away. "I should've just let her fall on her ass. I wish I never tried to help, especially if my feelings weren't returned."
 
<Mayday> "....tell me, Cecilia, d'you ever ask her what she thought?", Mayday turned to her properly, folding her legs, "Like, maybe she's never had friends before. I've never seen her hang out with anyone.", she frowned, "This...sounds a lot like when you branded Eddie a monster just because you didn't know the full story...", she confessed, "Sorry, Cee, but.....you need to cut people some slack."
 
<Mayday> She raised a finger, "In before! In before you lose your temper at me - I am not saying she's not partly to blame; she branded you a troublemaker just because she didn't like your methods, right? She's at least half to blame."
 
<Cecilia> "...Well, thank you. That's very charitable of you," Cecilia said, a tad grudgingly. "And here I was gonna say how would you feel in you were in my position and it was Sue that got her face smashed in by her."
 
<Cecilia> She sighed, "Ed wasn't in his right mind. He had no memory of his past life and thought he was a normal human until we kicked in his door and told him his entire life was a lie. No surprise he flipped shit. It was...understandable. I just had trouble accepting it at first 'cause he lashed out at me and scared me when I was already terrified of him 'cause of his stupid DR sim."
 
<Cecilia> "Hisako..." she sighed. "As far as I can tell Hisako was in her right mind, she just...was angry at both me and Fabian 'cause she didn't wanna hear what we were saying. We were right but she just...I dunno. Fought so hard against us it became hard to sympathize with her. I'm not even entirely sure what the core issue is still...and after awhile I ceased to care. How she was acting now took precedence over any root cause."
 
<Mayday> Mayday wore an awkward expression at that, sighing a little; "Cecilia...I distinctly recall you saying that Fabian needed a slap in the face. So, she was on a drug-fuelled binge when she did it - call it karma! You can't tell me he's perfect...", she shrugged, "Sue would never offend someone to the point of them exploding. Doesn't count."
 
<Mayday> She raised a finger, counting the issues off: "Two: Miss Reyes, do not tell me you understood Eddie's issue.", she smirked, "You did NOT give a fuck at the time, because you were hurt, and he hurt you. That's all you saw, so that's all there was until I explained it!", she did smile at that, rubbing Cecilia's shoulder.
 
<Mayday> "And three? When you talk about Hisako, all I hear is what people thought of you. Just...with more swordplay and 'tsundere', or whatever the Otaku call it.", she sniggered, "I say 'people'...I thought you were kinda hard to talk to, difficult to explain things to. Lookit: I was wrong. You just....you care too much."
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia raised an eyebrow. "I have never said he needed a slap in the face. I have said he needs to deflate his ego sometimes. But being hit? No, no matter how infuriating he is he doesn't deserve to be hit. Nobody deserves that..." she said, looking down. "I won't ever stand by that. I've been hit before for expressing an opinion that someone else didn't like. I can concede she wasn't in her right mind but that doesn't make it right."
 
<Cecilia> "...She does remind me of myself," Cecilia admitted. "It's like looking at an alternate Japanese version of myself that didn't swallow her pride before she lost everything." She leaned against Mayday. "...She's fucked up so bad I'm not sure how she's gonna come out of it."
 
<Mayday> Mayday nodded, "Ok, maybe that's....not accurate, but I'm pretty sure you mentioned she did apologize. Sounds like you're still sore about it - why not mention to her?", she shrugged, "And even I've wanted to kick Fabian in the teeth before. He's....a real jerk sometimes, let's be fair.", she frowned.
 
<Mayday> "B-but...you're talking about Hisako like she's some kind of killer! She hasn't 'lost everything' because you claimed you were her friend...", she insisted, "...Cecilia, some people just....they just need time. They need people to understand they move at their own pace, and whether they know it or not, they need people to be there when they do.", she sighed, shaking her head, "Maybe...maybe you just can't be that person for her. That's alright though."
 
<Mayday> Standing, Mayday stretched again, "People are difficult. Some people are too difficult for others. It's why people say 'I could never be with that person' and stuff....", she rested a hand on Cecilia's shoulder, "There are people out there who, in Sue's position, would have never taken me back..."
 
<Cecilia> "...Is it bad that I'm one of those people?" Cecilia asked, studying the keys. "It is isn't it?…I'm a shitty person for not caring about the reasons behind how people act. I'm sorry...but I can't. I just can't. I still jab at Rachel occasionally and I'm not really pleased with Cass...I just don't have it in me."
 
<Cecilia> "...With me I think it matters more how you're acting right now then what's happened to make you act that way. I just...that very likely makes me an unsympathetic bitch..." she sighed. "I'm gonna wash my hands of this...if it blows over, it blows over. If it doesn't...well, we'll both move on."
 
<Mayday> Mayday shook her head, "You're human, Cecilia. Like everyone else. You're allowed to have limits.", she smiled, "I pretty much guarantee that given a little time to settle, you and Hisako'll be just fine. Give it time, ok?", she leaned down to hug her friend.
 
<Mayday> "There's a reason you're my bestie.", she nodded, giving Cecilia a little squeeze.
 
<Cecilia> "God, you have no fucking idea how grateful I am for that too," Cecilia said, slinging an arm around Mayday. "But if I you don't know I'll just let you know. I am- grateful, I mean."
 
<Cecilia> "Well...if all else fails at least we got each other, right?" Cecilia grinned.
 
<Mayday> Laughing a little, Mayday nudged her, "You've nothing to be grateful for: I'm dragging your ass to the Renaissance Fair in two days.", she grinned, "And yeah, you're right.", she patted Cecilia's head, "Until the world falls apart and even after that.", she affirmed, starting for the stairwell, "I have homework, so I'll see you later tonight!"
 
<Cecilia> Cecilia chuckled and returned to the piano. "Wait... the what?"