6/1 Instance: Premeditation

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tears~fall~like~glass
Dread Pirate
Dread Pirate
Posts: 2673
Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:16 pm
Title: Timelord
Nightscrawlearth Character: :x23 :rachel
Location: Indiana

6/1 Instance: Premeditation

Post by tears~fall~like~glass »

timeline: current


Cecilia: Cecilia slammed her elbow back into the throat of a cultist, almost missing her mark she was trembling so badly. Three simulations of the cult bust later and she still wasn't becoming desensitized to anything. On the contrary, things just seemed to be getting worse. Five flashbacks so far, one so bad she'd had to pause the sim...why wasn't this working?! It'd worked for the gun fear so why not cannibal problems?

Cecilia: "Pause sim!" she barked, making the figures freeze into a sort of macabre tableau. Slowly, her eyes drifted to the figure with pink hair grappling with Rachel. Quent...why hadn't she gone for him in the raid? If she had maybe he'd never have escaped, maybe things would've turned out differently...maybe he wouldn't have died.

Laura: Having semi-settled into a routine, Laura decided that some time in the Danger Room was necessary if she was to retain anything she had learned during her and Hisako's extended stay in Japan. While she was positive she likely had more classwork she could be catching up on, this was far more appealing at the moment. The homework would still be there in an hour, though she supposed the argument could be used in reverse as well.

Laura: Especially since the room appeared to be occupied.

Cecilia: Cecilia advanced Quentin's figure, breathing heavily. He had screwed her over so badly and she'd built him up as this huge villain. He had seemed so important, the biggest enemy they faced, maybe moreso than Kraven even, 'cause of his truly terrifying powers and betrayal...but then he was just cast aside to die like garbage.

Cecilia: There had been no justice awaiting him, he'd died before anyone ever got the chance to do that. She stood in front of him, shaking like a leaf with rage and fear. Ed and Hope...they'd had their chance at revenge but her's had been snatched away from her. For the second time in her life...maybe she had it wrong. Maybe Ed was right...maybe she should've tried to kill him. At least then she could be sure he suffered for what he did.

Laura: Laura indecisively hovered outside the door to the room as she seriously debated the possibility of having to do her schoolwork before she could train in the Danger Room. On the other hand, most people were simply willing to put aside their own training to work with another. Maybe that would be the case today.

Laura: She decided to try her chances on that possibility and slipped into the room, peering around the simulated surroundings, slightly bristling at the frozen, robed cult members as she moved around them. When she caught sight of Cecilia, she paused.

Cecilia: Rachel had said revenge hadn't felt as good as she thought it would...but Ed seemed to enjoy it and Bob seemed to think it was necessary...there was only one way to find out how she'd feel then. She pulled up her shield armour and slowly extended a spike from one of her arms.

Cecilia: With a shaking hand she placed the spike to Quent's throat, her eyes wild and breath coming in ragged gasps now. One push, just one stab and she'd tear his windpipe to pieces or mangle his brains. One slash and she'd cut his jugular...she could think of a thousand ways to kill him but couldn't manage to move her hand to do any of them.

Laura: Her head tilted to one side as she considered her former roommate, gaze moving from her, along the spike, and finally to the prone form of Quentin Quire. She hadn't been heavily in the cannibal investigation past searching the warehouse with Cecilia and the initial run-in with the cult members, where she'd almost been taken, but she'd heard about everything. It was impossible to avoid hearing about... Well, everything in this school.

Laura: Looking back up to Cecilia, she finally decided to speak, "I do not think you want to."

Cecilia: Cecilia jumped, retracting the spike and twisting around to face the owner of that voice. "Laura - what the hell are you doing?! Y'know it's really fucking rude to sneak up on someone!" she snapped without thinking.

Laura: "I am standing here," Laura plainly answered, gesturing to the floor. Then, her brow furrowed as she added, "I will attempt to make my presence known by being louder next time I walk into a room?"

Cecilia: Cecilia scowled. "I dunno, yeah, it couldn't hurt. I don't enjoy people just appearing behind me. Now more than ever, really." She relaxed a little and took a few steps away from Quent. "Don't tell me what I want and don't want."

Laura: Nodding, Laura filed that bit of information away for future reference before replying, "Except I believe I said 'I do not think', which would mean it is my opinion of what you want and do not want. Admittedly, it is mostly based on what I know about killing people as opposed to your wants." After a beat, she admitted, "I am relatively ignorant of most of those, I am sure."

Cecilia: "...y'know, I think that's the most I've ever heard you say in one go," Cecilia said, putting her hands on her hips. "What do you know about killing people then. Please, enlighten me, 'cause everyone I've spoken to has given me a different opinion. To me, it seems like a case by case thing on whether or not it'll satisfy you."

Laura: "I was fairly certain I have said more, but maybe not," she shrugged. "I know it's easy, and I believe if you wanted it done, you wouldn't hesitate."

Cecilia: Cecilia eyed Quent. "I've heard the first is the hardest and it gets progressively easier from there...I think it's harder to kill someone you once-" she swallowed hard "-that you once considered a friend."

Cecilia: She looked away. "People thought I was protecting him...I didn't want to kill them. I wanted them to go to jail...but it didn't work out that way. Ed killed Kraven, Quent was killed by the cult, a bunch of the high profile members were assassinated. Only Rott and some of the cult members were punished...now I wonder what the point was in trying to catch them alive."

Laura: "It's harder to come back after it gets so easy," Laura commented as she considered the friend aspect, eventually nodding in agreement. She imagined that would be true, as she would find it difficult to kill anyone here now that she'd formed emotional attachments. "The point was that they could have all gone to jail, and the ones that are alive did end up there."

Cecilia: "Could have - if some people decide to steal everyone else's chance at justice maybe they mostly certainly would have - but no. They had to take matters into their own hands and now I'm here, alone in this room, running sims and wondering what the fucking point was."

Cecilia: "I risked my life and my sanity for nothing apparently," Cecilia said, furious. "Really, I should've just sat back on my ass and done nothing for all the good I did out there! Really, what did I do? All I accomplished was failing to stop Quent, arriving too late to do anything and being out drawn by an tiny Japanese woman and two of my former teammates!"

Cecilia: She swept her hand over one of the tables, cutlery and plates and candelabras onto the floor with a crash. "FUCK ME FOR NOT KILLING HIM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!"

Laura: Nose wrinkling at the sound of everything crashing down to the floor, Laura lost her train of thought as far as various responses went and settled for simply asking, "How were you to know any of that?"

Cecilia: Cecilia threw up her hands in frustration. "Looking back I might've noticed a lot of the murders were centered around Knightsbridge which is where Quent was from...it seems obvious in retrospect but at the time...I dunno, I was just fucking stupid. As for the assassin...I couldn't have anticipated a third party gunning for the cult. That was too far fetched to consider...I blamed Ed and Hope for that up until we were actually ambushed by her."

Cecilia: "I could've gone with Ed and Hope...really that might've been the smarter idea...I could've asked Ed to come along, kept on eye on him and Hope and actually been on time for the final fight....but I couldn't have known they'd have more luck than us... and they only had that luck 'cause the cult was essentially luring them...so that's hindsight there..."

Cecilia: "So I couldn't have known anything," she said, throat tight. "I did the best I could with the information I had...it just wasn't good enough."

Laura: "Exactly. You couldn't have known anything, as there was no way to. You did do the best you could, and, while it may not have been enough, it was an experience to learn from," Laura replied, shaking her head, "Going over everything repeatedly isn't going to yield different results, and I doubt it would be considered healthy. Not that the experience in general could be considered healthy."

Cecilia: Cecilia's expression wasn't really forthcoming here. "I wasn't healthy to begin with...believe me, if I could stop thinking about it I would but I can't. I have PTSD...everything is gonna stay with me...the best I can hope for the ability to manage it. There's no cure."

Cecilia: She sighed. "If you're trying to imply it wasn't my fault I'm perfectly aware it wasn't...I know it, it just doesn't make me feel any better." Cecilia turned to face Laura. "When my father was killed, after I picked up the pieces, I comforted myself by saying no matter what other people did I could still control my own life, that I could still make a difference no matter how small...but this, this just showed me how wrong I was."

Cecilia: "I don't like feeling like I don't have any control over my life. It makes me feel...hopeless."

Laura: "So, you simply need coping methods," Laura easily deduced as she considered the rest, her brow scrunching once more. On some level, she could relate to the need to control her own life and make a difference. "I'm sure you made a difference, even with all of us failing multiple times. In fact, I'm also sure never giving up counts toward that," she attempted to assure the other girl.

Laura: Taking a breath, she admitted, "I do not like to feel like I am out of control either, and I certainly am opposed to failing. I do not even like to think it is an option. Unfortunately, it happens. However, that doesn't mean you are not capable of making a difference."

Cecilia: "Yeah, great, Cecilia the fucking mascot, hoor-ay!" she deadpanned, raising an arm sarcastically. "Well...if I was we'll sure as hell never know now."

Cecilia: "...has there been any information on Ed?" she asked, abruptly changing the subject. "Do we even know what happened to him?"

Laura: "I didn't take you for being a cheerleader," she commented, glancing down to the floor at the mention of Eddie, "I ran into him briefly over the summer, before Hisako and I went to Japan..."

Cecilia: Cecilia looked very interested in this. "And how did that go?"

Laura: "Poorly... Extremely so," she frowned, "Hisako had to step in before he was able to harm me and ended up breaking her family's katana because I was unable to handle things."

Cecilia: "How 'poorly'?" Cecilia demanded, advancing on Laura. "He didn't try to...?"

Laura: "To...?" Laura questioned, her eyebrow arching, before she added, "By poorly, I meant that he beat the... shit?" Profanity rolled strangely off her tongue, causing her to pull a slightly sour face as she continued, "He beat the shit out of me."

Cecilia: "I was actually trying to ask if he assaulted you like he did Mel...apparently he just has it out for her though for whatever twisted reason his mind's concocted." She sighed. "I'm sorry...obviously you're alright now though...more or less."

Laura: "I would be better if he was back to his usual self, but I am alright now, yes," Laura nodded.

Cecilia: "...I don't think that's gonna happen," Cecilia said, her mouth a firm line.

Laura: With a frown, she gave another nod, this time in agreement, "I am not hopeful at this point either."

Cecilia: "I'm just glad you agree," she admitted. "I...is there any effort being made to find him? SWORD doing anything?"

Laura: "The police are definitely out to capture him," she answered, giving a slight shrug, "They showed up after he beat up Hisako as well, but he fled. As for SWORD, I believe it would be a question for Professor Drake... Well, Bobby," Laura corrected herself, recalling the conversation where he'd told her calling him Bobby was fine, "Because I'm unsure about them."

Cecilia: "I doubt he'd discuss SWORD plans with me," Cecilia said. "And I don't think the cops will be much help."

Cecilia: She sighed. "In any case...it's nice to see you again...look, about what you saw here, you're not gonna tell anyone, right?"

Laura: Laura considered the question and any possible circumstances that would require her to bring the subject up as she took in their surroundings once more. "Well, I imagine if anyone specifically asked about how my training was, I would answer honestly, unless you would prefer me to omit specific details..."

Cecilia: "Well, everything up until the fact I was considering shanking a sim would be great," Cecilia said, frowning. "I just...I don't want people to think I'm...getting to be like Ed."

Laura: She opened her mouth, paused, and thought about what she was going to say. Then, she said it anyway, "I do not think most people here have room to judge, however I will attempt to refrain from mentioning it."

Cecilia: "Yeah but people are hypocrites and to be honest I don't really wanna give people more reasons to doubt me. I'm already a former 'buddy' of the guy who turned out to be a cannibal," Cecilia said, shifting uneasily from one foot to another. "I appreciate it."

Laura: "They'd be better off pointing out your relationship with Fabian in conjunction to him being a former terrorist or your friendship with me based on the work I did since you knew what we both were beforehand... And, assuming we're friends," Laura replied, "Regardless, you are welcome."

Cecilia: "Well, if anyone has a problem with that they've not said anything...but they might be too scared to say it to my face...and they should be," she laughed at this but frowned as Laura continued. "Yeah, man. We're friends, have been for awhile now...or at least I thought we were."

Laura: "Good because I was under the impression we are as well," she offered a smile, "Anyway, would you like to run a different scenario?"

Cecilia: "No...no, I think I'm gonna go," Cecilia said, glancing at the door. "I don't think I should do a combat sim again after...well, that."

Laura: "Of course," Laura gave a nod, watching her for a moment, "Perhaps we could do... that catching up thing sometime...?"

Cecilia: Cecilia nodded. "Yeah...come by later?"

Cecilia: "I mean, just 'cause we're not roommates anymore doesn't mean you can't see me, right? Well, if you can pry Hisako off you for five minutes," she laughed.

Laura: Her face lightly flushed at the mention of having to be pried off Hisako, and her gaze dropped to the floor as she spoke, "I, um... O-of course. I would be happy to stop by later."

Cecilia: "Oh-ho, what're you getting all red for now?" Cecilia said, raising an eyebrow and smirking. "Don't tell me you've switch teams now....have you? Man, why do I have so many gay friends? Am I the token black and straight girl in my group or what?"

Laura: Laura wasn't used to actually feeling embarrassed and, shifting uncomfortably, decided it was near the bottom of emotions she liked to feel. Mouth working to come up with something, she eventually assured Cecilia, "I shall tell you about it when I meet you later, as it is... complicated."

Cecilia: Cecilia raised an eyebrow. "Alright, man. If that's what you want...don't be ashamed or anything though. It's not like that sorta stuff bothers me." She clapped the other girl on the shoulder. "I'll catch you later!"

Laura: With a small smile, Laura called back, "Later."

Laura: Though, once Cecilia was gone, she let out a sigh and took in her surroundings once more, brow furrowed. While she had said she'd refrain from saying much, she supposed it couldn't hurt to tell at least one person about her concerns...
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