Rocket: The furry alien snored loudly where he lay in a junk food and beer coma in front of the tv. He had decided to embrace the human culture for the time he was staying on Earth and quickly got the knack for how they did things.
Danger: Danger had been silently observing their strange visitor for a while, before moving from her spot in the back of the communal recreation room. Now, standing quietly at the end of the couch, the oversized raccoon lying sprawled amidst a heap of junk didn't look so out of place for this world, after all.
Danger: Tilting her head, the machine debated whether to wake the sleeping animal or not. She had to admit, he looked kind of adorable.
Rocket: "Flark off, I'm on leave for the next few days." he mumbled with his eyes still closed. They opened to a squint to spot the bot. "Actually... you got anything for heartburn? Pretty sure you should have. Don't know a Shi'ar bot that don't have basic medical supplies built in." he half heartedly pushed himself up before giving up to stay in his lazy position on the couch.
Danger: "I'm sorry, but I do not." Danger replied, not showing her surprise that the little creature had noticed her. "There should be some in the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, however. You should know where that is. The place where you stole all that food."
Rocket: "I take offense at that. I liberated the food from going bad." His head turned to the general direction of the kitchen and groaned before relaxing back down again. "Okay, seeing that you don't have it on you, and you ain't bringing any to me, how about you just take me to it."
Danger: Danger tilted her head in the other direction and raised a metallic eyebrow. "You wish me to take you to the kitchen?" she asked, a sharp edge to her voice, as if she couldn't belief what she had just heard.
Rocket: Rocket clapped his hands, "Chop chop."
Danger: For a split-second, a smile appeared to play across her artificial features. "Very well then," Danger replied, and without warning grabbed the furry little alien by the scruff of his neck. Pulling him off the couch in one rough motion, she turned to carry him like a misbehaving animal.
Rocket: Rocket meekly flailed, yelling and snarling with the energy of a beached whale, "What's wrong with you?! Don't you dare manhandle me like this! I can report you to the authorities! I learned the number of your Furry Police!"
Danger: "Wrong?" Danger stopped, and lifted her involuntary baggage up to eye level. Then machine girl gave the alien raccoon a withering look. "Considering your insolence, you should be asking why I have not been kicking your tail back into orbit instead."
Danger: "Perhaps I should let you call for help, though. If it accomplishes nothing else, it might at least amuse me."
Rocket: He squinted his red eyes at her, and smirked. "Hand me a phone." he said.
Danger: The blue glow of her artificial optics stared back at him, and she lifted her free hand to the side of his head. After some whirring and buzzing, her fingers beeped. A holographic number pad appeared in front of him.
Rocket: With the biggest smug face he could muster, he punched in the number he learned from the tv, waiting as it started to ring and finally someone answered, "Boston SPCA, how may I help?" Rocket grinned like mad and replied, "Yeah, I wanna report someone abusing me." he started.
Danger: "He started it." Danger interjected.
Rocket: "I'm sorry, Sir, did you say you wish to report abuse against you?" the voice asked. Rocket replied, "Yeah, you help furry friends, don'tcha?" The voice added, "Sir, this is a complaint number for animal abuse." Rocket suddenly got confused. "Who you callin' an animal?"
Danger: "He does not believe he is a raccoon." Danger supplied, sounding as indignant as the voice on the phone. "He is very stubborn, and seems to be only marginally smarter than regular raccoons. I still cannot explain how he was able to navigate an interstellar spaceship."
Rocket: "Nononono you stay out of this, you're the perpetrator in this story!" Rocket said. The voice seemed more confused, saying, "Is there a raccoon being abused?" Rocket took it personally. "I am not a flarkin raccoon! I am a different being, I barely resemble them! For one, I don't walk around naked! And another, I don't have that much fleas! I mean, I don't have fleas!" he said, unconsciously scratching himself.
Danger: Danger saw no reason at all to stay of it, and in fact found herself all the more determined to get involved. "I did find him rolling around in our trash, though. As far as I am aware, he does have that in common with the common North American raccoon."
Rocket: "You guys throw away stuff that can still be used! I can't believe someone threw away a perfectly half eaten sandwich! And who the flark throws away pens when you can just use them in projectile weaponry as ammunition!?"
Rocket: The voice was silent for a few seconds. "Is... is this a prank call? Please do not phone this number unless there is an actual problem."
Danger: "Actually, there is one, but it's not that he is being abused by me. Which he is, but for perfectly justifiable reasons." Danger felt quite involved in the discussion now. "If you were being treated like a mere household appliance, only because your body is made of nanosteel alloys, you would feel the same way."
Rocket: "I'm using she instead of it, isn't that enough for you?! Geeze you AI's are so damned sensitive! Next I'll probably not be allowed to call you rust bucket or tin can because it hurts your gloppin' feeeelings. Just recode yourself to get rid of those touchy emotions and do what you're supposed to do."
Rocket: "Listen, I'm going to hang up now. Only call if there is an emergency or complaint pertaining to actual animals. " the voice said, and then the line went dead.
Rocket: "What the heck was her problem?" Rocket asked.
Danger: "We were only telling the truth, weren't we? So obviously it must have been something else." Danger cocked her head. "Perhaps it is the way you talk to women."
Rocket: Rocket thought about that for half a second, "Nah, can't be that, I'm eloquent like a glockin' royal." he burped and snorted, picking his nose and flicking what he found away, wiping what could not be flicked on nearby furniture. "Must be on her lady time. Chicks get insane around that time."
Danger: Danger managed a look of disgust as her gaze followed the contents of the raccoon's nose. "You are right," the female robot said, and after unceremoniously dumping the little critter on the floor, stepped past him. "I can think of no reason why she did not believe you to be an animal."
Rocket: "Ow." he said, getting up and started following the robot. "So what exactly do you even do around this place?" he asked her.
Danger: "In general, or me specifically?" Danger asked back with a glance over her shoulder. "If you are wondering about this place, it is a place of learning, generally known as a school. You might consider visiting one sometime. Perhaps you will find it beneficial."
Rocket: "Nah, nah, never had no need for no skool." He said, and somehow even made it sound like a misspelling. "I meant you, so you just walk the hallways staring at people and making remarks on their living habits? You spice it up once in a while and wear a sheet with two holes cut in it."
Danger: "What purpose would that serve? I have no need for clothing." Danger strode through the kitchen. "I help out in any way I can make myself useful," the robot girl elaborated, while opening the cabinet with the non-prescription medical supplies.
Danger: "Given my capabilities, this can cover a wide range of needed activities, but for the most part, I assist with scientific projects and develop experimental technologies." Picking a small box of pills from the rack, she turned around to hand it to their alien visitor.
Danger: "Other than that, I live and learn here, much like everyone else does." She looked down at the raccoon. "After all, this is my home."
Rocket: "Well then," Rocket started, taking the box and foraging out a pill that he chewed on and swallowed, "I got a treat for you. You like experimental tech? I got experimental tech coming out of my wazoo. Here, how's this for a teaser," he took off his wristband communicator and placed it on the kitchen counter.
Rocket: "Have a look, scan it, learn it, that's got tech that the terrans won't discover in a hundred years judging from the crap they sell on infomercials. Intergalactic communicator, real time. Works on a psionic frequency."
Rocket: He climbed on a chair as he tried to make amends with the robot.
Danger: Danger looked at the alien device on the kitchen counter, the intricate sensors of her artificial eyes perceiving the small object at a level of detail unimaginable to so human sight. "Why would give this to me?" she asked, her curiosity piqued, and picked up the communicator with her metallic fingers to give it a closer inspection.
Danger: "I have seen nothing like it before," the machine admitted, carefully running a thumb over the gadget's surface, lightly tapping it with the index finger of her other hand.
Rocket: "Well of course you ain't seen it before, that model came out way after your tech was developed. You should see the upgrades they make for bots like you now. But ya gotta have a license to buy and install them." he said, making air quotes with a look of disgust at the word license.
Rocket: "Actually I said scan it, never said keep it, but if you really want it, you can. Think it as a... what is the locals call it again? Quill used it several times. Something to do with a branch. Olive branch. Dunno what an olive is, guess it's some kind of peaceful plant."
Danger: "Yes, among some human cultures, the olive branch serves as a symbolism for peace," Danger explained, her attention seemingly engrossed with the small piece of alien technology in her hands. "Is that what this gesture is supposed to be?" She looked at the raccoon. "A peace offering?"
Rocket: "Well yeah, I figure if I'm gonna stay here, I might as well keep the arguments civilised, know what I mean? Plus it's usually fun if you ruin a civilisation by introducing it to tech they don't understand, so spread that communicator tech as much as possible. Muhahaha!" Rocket laughed evilly.
Danger: Danger frowned, and contemplated that device in her hand. "I appreciate the gesture, but if you are sincere about making amends, I would prefer something simpler instead." She handed the communicator back to the alien raccoon. "An apology would be a good start."
Rocket: Rocket squinted at the robot. "An apology. I don't do those often. You want ti sincere or empty? I can do a really good empty apology."
Danger: "Feel free to keep them," Danger said with a slight tilt of her head, and turned to make her way back to the recreation room. "Perhaps I have been unreasonable to expect anything else from an uplifted forest dweller."
Rocket: "We still talking about me or someone else now?" He asked as he followed her once more, putting the communicator back on. He quickly skittered to get in front of her, holding his hands up.
Rocket: "Okay, right, okay. Hold on to your nuts and bolts, because you're getting an apology whether you want one or not. Here goes." he took a second before he let the drama fly. "Danger. I am so sorry for my behaviour. I apologize for all the rude things I have said and done. Please forgive me." he ended giving with clasping his tiny hands together and looking up at her with big sad eyes.
Danger: Danger had stopped in her tracks, and looked down at the fuzzy creature with its little clasped hands and large shining eyes. "What are you doing?" the robot asked, sounding unsure of her own reaction. "If you believe I am susceptible to such simple emotional manipulation, you are mistaken."
Danger: "Perhaps you have found humans to be swayed by appealing to their inherent weakness to displays of cuteness, but I can assure you, I have no such vulnerabilities. In fact, I find it rather distressing. Will you stop it now? I told you it has no effect on me."
Rocket: Rocket did not stop. One thing that he was an expert at was the ability to never give up, even when it meant not blinking. He just intensified his sad look up at her, standing on his toes, the lack of blinking making his eyes glisten even more. And when Danger wasn't showing any sign of succumbing to his look, he pulled out the big guns, and his bottom lip started to wibble.
Danger: Taken aback by this shameless attempt at emotional manipulation, Danger was shocked to find it actually working, and hid her wavering resistance behind another scowl and her snide tone. "If I accept your apology, will you finally stop doing this?" she asked, careful not to sound pleading.
Rocket: For a moment it was just his lower lip still quivering, nut his head slowly nodded just a tiny bit to agree with her. He kept the sad face intensity on maximum.
Danger: The robot yielded to the raccoon's cuteness, and extended a hand in an offering of peace. "Fine, I accept your apology."
Rocket: The cuteness dissolved into his normal demented face as he grinned and grabbed her hand to shake. "Great, for a moment there I thought I lost my edge. Right, You still want the communicator? I got a spare in my ship's glovebox. Speaking of, I really need to check up on it. Know where I can get a ride to that alien slash mutant bar?" he asked.
Danger: "If you insist, I will keep your gift," Danger said as she took the offered communicator back from him. "Thank you. Perhaps I was mistaken about you, after all." She gave the alien device in her hand another curious look, before turning back to their guest.
Danger: "I can take you there," the machine girl offered. "If you do not mind my company."
Rocket: "Nah, I don't mind it. Not. At. All... Muhahahehe..." he ominously said while rubbing his hands together. He realized what he just did and quickly added, "Plus I think you might actually like to see my ship."
Danger: "This is correct," Danger said, paying no mind to the little creature's strange antics. "I had hoped to get the chance to examine it. Even though humans have developed spaceflight, interstellar travel is still far beyond their technological capabilities, so I am excited for the opportunity to study your craft."
Rocket: "Yeah thought as much, all the chicks want to see Rocket's rocket. You're not alone." He said, winking and went straight to the couch to settle back into his well deserved anual leave, shoving more chips into his mouth.
Danger: Following him back to the recreational area, Danger stopped by the edge of the couch, and looked down at the raccoon lounging amidst the filthy remains of his binge eating bout. "So when are you going to show me your rocket?" she asked after a moment of watching him stuffing greasy food into his fanged mouth.
Rocket: "After my shows." he answered, pointing at the tv. "Elizabeth just discovered Eric was cheating on her with her twin sister who turns out to be actually her twin brother. Dast is about to hit the fan when she confronts him."
Danger: Danger cast a glance at the screen. "In that case, I will leave you to stuffing your body and brain with junk then," she said, looking back at Rocket. "If you need anything, come find anyone but me." She then turned her back to Rocket and strode towards the exit.
Rocket: "Nice big rocket right here." he mumbled as she walked away grabbing his crotch.
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