Timelined for a day or so after [Instance]Chris' Night-Light.
<Christopher> Chris sat at his desk, the note in his hand but he wasn't reading it. He was just drinking straight from the largest bottle of rum he found in the liquor store. It had taken him a bit of time but he had figured out how to use his clawed hand without shredding things. He was a good two bottles in and glad he didn't have any classes to deal with, or at the very least thought he didn't.
<Carol> "Knock knock," Carol rapped on the doorframe then leaned against it, looking at the heap of Chris in his office.
<Christopher> "Occupied." He took a long pull on the bottle.
<Carol> "I see that... hence the knocking..." her eyes wandered over the office, spying the two empty bottles. Her nose wrinkled. Quetly, she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.
<Christopher> "I'm really not up to entertaining right now..." He groaned setting the bottle down carefully. The note still sitting in his hand.
<Carol> "Yeah, I doubt you'd be up to much..." she frowned, crossing the room slowly toward him, "Everything okay?" Clearly it wasn't but maybe he'd be honest.
<Christopher> Chris let out a scoff that had been an attempted laugh. "Peachy." He took another swig.
<Carol> Oooor he was going to pretend she couldn't see. "It'll save time if you just tell me what happened."
<Christopher> "You already know the whole story." The contents of the bottle were quickly disappearing with the large drinks he was taking.
<Carol> "Noooo because then I'd know why you're drinking yourself into a stupor when you have classes to teach..."
<Christopher> "Oh? Guess the students'll be happy to have a day off." He finished the bottle. The note still in his hand, it didn't bother him as much as it should have.
<Carol> "Chris... what happened?" She closed the distance before he could pick up a fresh bottle and spied the note, plucking it from his hand.
<Christopher> He just let her take the note. "Better this way anyways." It took him a long moment to find the next bottle. His whole body felt like it was moving through maple syrup.
<Carol> Carol took it from him without even looking up from the note, "Well... I don't know what to tell you.... kind of shitty timing."
<Christopher> "Yup." He didn't even resist her taking the bottle from him. "Can't blame her."
<Carol> "Well if this is going to be your reaction to every speed bump, yeah..." not that she was one to talk but this wasn't about her.
<Christopher> Chris managed to flip her the bird with his clawed hand. "I'm fucked Carol... I mean you get off the ship before it sinks not after."
<Carol> "Only if you're the one putting holes in it and have prior warning...." she put the confiscated bottle out of his reach then screwed up the note and tossed it into the trash can.
<Christopher> "Pretty sure she didn't do this." Chris kept his hand in the air.
<Carol> "No... but leaving you now's not going to help you with that either..."
<Christopher> "No but she's better off. She has her own problems to manage she doesn't need mine on top."
<Carol> "And what about your problems? Was there any warning she might do this? Plus... leaving you a note? Not cool."
<Christopher> "Yeah she didn't want me to go to the spa. She thought I was running away from my problems."
<Carol> "Taking some time off because it's good for you is not running away from your problems. It's taking some freaking time off."
<Christopher> "It doesn't matter." He used one of the claws to scrape at his desk slowly. "I'm dangerous. I probably shouldn't be teaching."
<Carol> ".... You realise that could be said of all of us, right? Do you even know where you are?" She caught his wrist and lifted his hand from the desk.
<Christopher> "Except none of those others have leveled two cities and killed countless people."
<Carol> "That wasn't you, Chris... and no one but you uses that against you."
<Christopher> "It's what I'm turning into." He stared down at the scratches he'd left in the desk.
<Carol> "Only if you let it happen." She sighed, "Chris... the only way we stay on top of this is if we fight back... are you going to do that or just give up?"
<Christopher> "They'll try to fix me. And it'll just happen again. We don't know what they did to me, how they did it or what it is. We're completely in the dark. Why shouldn't I give up? I don't have anything to keep trying for."
<Carol> She shoved him, "Do you even hear yourself?!"
<Christopher> "Yeah... I do. You shoulda put me down in Alaska."
<Carol> She smacked him a few times, "Grow some fucking balls!"
<Christopher> Chris was starting to sober up thanks to his healing factor and her hitting him. "Why? They're weak and easily hurt."
<Carol> ".... What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you want to die, is that it? You want me to leave you here to drink yourself into a coma? Huh?" she kept shoving him.
<Christopher> Chris just let her knock him to the ground. "Why should I get to live to do it again? I'm a monster Carol. And you're just going to let me do it again cuz some small chance I could maybe be fixed?"
<Carol> "I told you I'm not going to let you hurt anyone! Stop being so fucking defeatist! Don't you know that's how they get you?!" She stood over him, her hands clenched into fists at her sides, "If you give up now, they've already won. You have to fight or there's no point in any of us trying to help you."
<Christopher> He picked himself up slowly. "They already got me and they're not going to let me get away. This proves it. How do you know next time they're not going to bring more? That next time they're not going to succee?. Maybe next time it'll be me fighting you to let them take me."
<Carol> "You came to me for help. You either want it or you don't. If you want them to take you, go ahead, walk out. I won't stop you. But if you meant it when you came to me, you can damn well show some appreciation by picking your sorry ass up off the floor."
<Christopher> "I want you to put me down like the diseased dog I am..." He walked past her, completely intent on going back to his room and drinking himself into a coma if he could.
<Carol> And that was the last straw. Angry and frustrated, she turned and blasted him clean through the wall and out into the carpark.
<Christopher> Chris was completely caught off guard by the blast. It hurt like hell and he really wasn't used to being hurt. When he finally landed he let out a pained breath and stared up into the sky not wanting to move. "Fuuuck me..." He waited for a minute to let his healing factor correct anything that might be wrong before he tried to get up.
<Carol> Carol followed him out and hovered over him, "Now. Are you absolutely sure you want me to keep hurting you?"
<Christopher> "I didn't say hurt. Do you really plan on beating me to death if I change?" He rolled his eyes and brushed off the drywall and whatever else was covering him now.
<Carol> "No. I plan on beating you until you pay attention." She raised an eyebrow, "Do you have any idea how many people in that building care about you?" She pointed beind her, "You're just going to give up on all of them because you're having a bad day?"
<Christopher> "Yeah... cuz this is just a bad day. You tell me when your next bad day involves you murdering little children."
<Carol> She blasted him again, straight down into the concrete. It left a decent crater. "Try again."
<Christopher> "Fuck! Stop doing that!" He almost growled back up at her as he pulled chunks of concrete out of his skin.
<Carol> "You first."
<Christopher> "I'm not doing anything!" He pulled himself out of the crater, the claw actually coming in handy.
<Carol> "That's the fucking point!" She blasted the part of the ground his feet were on, "You're not allowed to just roll over!"
<Christopher> Chris fell back into the crater again when she blasted the ground out from under him. At this point he was beginning to glow a feint purple. "Why the fuck not?! What else do I have to live for? I'm a fucking monster Carol and I did this to myself! I drive everyone away from me. I'm going insane. And I'm going to be that monster again! Tell me those fucking geniuses know what they did to me! Tell me they can fix this! Cuz that's what they said last time. They could fix this! You can't fix me!"
<Carol> "Listen to what you're saying, Chris! For fuck's sake! You're not a monster! Don't you get it? What you're asking me to do means that, no matter what they did to you, you're still you on the inside! What the hell is wrong with you that you can't see that person is worth saving?"
<Christopher> "It doesn't matter if I'm still in there! It was my fault those people died. Whether someone else did this to me or not I couldn't stop myself and I won't be able to again! I can't Carol... I can't wake up to more faces pleading for their lives. Begging me to spare their children. Trying to run from me."
<Carol> "You're going around and around in a circle and all I can here is 'wah wah, poor me, I'm just going to crawl into a hole and wait to die like a gigantic waste of space'. I don't like that kind of attitude, Chris. What I want to hear from you is: 'Yeah I was a moron but those people did something terrible and they're going to keep doing it unless I stop them'. Where's that X-men stubborness that pisses everyone off?"
<Christopher> "It died with all those people in Alaska..." He gave up trying to get out of the hole.
<Carol> "You're not allowed to blame yourself for that anymore. That wasn't you. That was the people that experimented on you and I'm getting pretty damn sick of reminding you. Plenty of people fall into a hole and abuse alcohol or drugs and no one experiments on them. You can't tell me that you deserved to be a guinea pig and neither did all those others. You think they're going to wallow in self pity?"
<Christopher> "You think I don't know that?! You think that changes anything? I have to watch myself killing those people. I have to wake up drenched in sweat, hoping and praying it's not someone's blood. Every day I wake up I wish you had killed me. And NOW, now I'm going to have to relive it again and you can't even promise me that you'll stop me for good this time!"
<Carol> Carol frowned hard at him for a moment then took off for one of the classrooms in the science block. She was back moments later with a very confused Greer who she dropped at Chris' feet. "Chris doubts your chemistry-fu. I thought you might want to smack him yourself."
<Greer> Raising an eyebrow, Greer looked between the two of them and then around her at the crater. "I missed something..."
<Christopher> Chris just glared at Carol. This was low even for her. "Just leave me alone." He got up and started off towards his room.
<Greer> Greer reached out and caught the back of his pants, "Nu-uh. Why are you in a crater in the parking lot? Obviously you pissed Carol off somehow... did you badmouth coffee?" She glanced over at Carol who had finally landed on the ground and was pacing - never a good sign.
<Christopher> "Let go of me Greer..." Chris didn't move to try and get away from her though.
<Greer> "Not until you tell me what's going on." She tugged on the back of his pants to bring him back toward her.
<Christopher> "You can ask Carol. I'm going back to my room to get changed and take a shower."
<Carol> "Oh okay, I'll tell her. Chris would apparently like everyone to stop helping him and either let him turn into a monster or kill him. Preferably both. That about sum up your feelings?" Carol turned to face Chris, hands on her hips.
<Greer> She didn't let go of her former husband, looking between him and Carol in disbelief. "Is that true...?"
<Christopher> Chris ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Y...yeah." Why couldn't Carol have just kept her out of this. "I can't do this anymore. I can't."
<Greer> She reacted without thinking, wrapping her arms around him tightly and pressing her face into his back, "Please don't give up... not until I've tried to help you."
<Christopher> "I..." He couldn't tell her no. "Y...yeah." Chris could feel the tears coming down his cheek. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. The mixed feelings his ex-wife was giving him, the horrible emptiness, and the sheer want to just give up just to stop himself from having these nightmares.
<Greer> "The people that did this to you used chemicals... I'm a chemist and you know I'm good at it... and I have access to all these shiny things from SHIELD... so I can help you. I can. You just have to hold on long enough to let me. Please promise..." She nuzzled his back between his shoulder blades, it hurt her to see him in so much pain.
<Christopher> "I'll try." He felt weaker than he ever had. He wanted to tell her not to get her hopes up.
<Greer> "Remember to talk to people if you're struggling... we want to help, you just have to let us, okay?" She let go of him and took a step back so he could go if he wanted to.
<Christopher> "It doesn't help..." Chris didn't move. "That's what this was supposed to be I'm pretty sure..." He looked over to Carol.
<Carol> Carol sighed and looked at Greer, "You know what I'm going to say."
<Greer> She bit her lip and looked down at the floor, "Yeah, I do... Chris... can you just.... just hold on until after we've dealt with the Brood threat, okay? I promise, after that you'll have my full attention and everyone else's too. We'll get to the bottom of this and find you a cure."
<Christopher> "Yeah. If I can make it that long." He held up his clawed hand for her to see.
<Greer> "You will. It won't be long now," she offered him a small smile, "I have faith in you."
<Christopher> "Yeah..." He couldn't return the smile.
<Greer> "Just... remember there are people here that love you and to hear you talking about giving up hurts them..." She turned and climbed out of the crater in the carpark.
<Christopher> "I'm sorry..." Chris sat back down in the crater. He really didn't want to get out of it anymore.
<Carol> Carol sighed as Greer passed her and rolled her eyes at the woman, then she lowered herself into the crater, "Come on..." she held her hand at to Chris. "I hurt you because I care."
<Christopher> "Yeah." He took her hand and let her help him up. Chris wanted to keep arguing with her about this but he couldn't bring up enough energy to start the conversation.
<Carol> "Coffee?" she suggested by way of a peace offering.
<Christopher> "I'm guessing you'll blast me again if I ask for irish."
<Carol> "For sure - you've had enough for today."
<Christopher> "You understand how advanced my healing factor is don't you...?" He sighed and followed her to the coffee.
<Carol> "I do. I also know that I can blast you again to sober your ass up. Don't tempt me."
<Christopher> "Lets just get the coffee. Those blasts actually hurt."
<Carol> "I thought you might say that," she smirked and opened the door to let them back inside.
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