7/26 Instance: Open Love

[fourpawsonthefloor]

timelined before 'brand new aunties'

Cessily: Cessily almost knocked on the door to Kitty's and her room, but stopped her hand once again. Come on, Kincaid. You can do this. It had worked out with Japh, now it's gonna work with Kitty, too. She balanced the canvas that she had tucked under her other arm again, making sure that the piece of cloth that covered it didn't slip off. It just had to work out.

Cessily: Finally giving the door a light knock, she asked: "Kitty, are you there? It's me... Can... can I come in?"

Kitty: Kitty jumped, and pased through the wall. Luckily, nobody was in the next room. She pulled herself back through, and said, "of course. It's your room too." Cessily had accepted the pastry, but they were still a bit cold to one another.

Cessily: Cessily opened the door and entered. Apparently Kitty was busy redecorating her part of the room a bit, putting up new pictures. "Hey, uhm..." She had thought about the right words to start, but they were all lost the moment she saw her face. "How are you? Can we... can we talk?" Closing the door behind her, she put on a friendly but insecure smile, fighting the urge to just run over and hug her friend.

Kitty: "Sure." Kitty put down the poster on her bed, and jumped off, smoothing her skirt down. She sat in her desk chair, and waited. For what she didn't know. She'd apologized, and Cessily had taken it well. Now what was this? She ruthlessly squashed hope down.

Cessily: "It's... it's..." Cessily sighed and sat down on the bed, a little away from Kitty, putting the canvas on her lap. "I... I don't know how start this, Kit." She admitted. "I..." Oh god, what should she say? "I don't know how to... listen, Kitty, I'm sorry!" She blurted out. "So sorry! It's my fault, not yours! So... so I have to apologize, not you! I'm so sorry." She felt her voice sounding teary already.

Cessily: "It's... it's that I can't take this a day longer, Kit! The thought that... that you might be mad at me. That you might... might not like me anymore." She lowered her head, glancing at the canvas, unable to look Kitty in the eyes.

Kitty: Kitty looked down at her clasped hainds, a bit ashamed. "It was bad of me to say those things, but you hurt me. A lot. I guess I should have been watching too, that no matter when I got the courage to say I liked you, you were always with Rae...but I don't like not being friends...so if I can't have more than that, I'll be happy."

Cessily: "Yes, I hurt you. Because I've been an insensitive oaf that was blind to your feelings. Because I was so occupied with my myself and my awkward feelings that I didn't see what was right before my eyes." She forced herself to look at Kitty. "But... I would never hurt you intentionally, Kit. Never!" She shook her head. "If... if I hadn't been such an idiot... if I had only
realized how you felt... then..."

Cessily: "I'm sorry... for my ignorance... for not seeing your..." How could she really have missed all that? How pretty Kitty looked, even now when she was sad... "For messing up what could have been. But... but I guess I ruined that now."

Kitty: Kitty squirmed a bit. "Well, like, I can't blame you for not thinking about me. Like, I was being blind too." She looked up at Cessily. "We can still be friends, right?" She watched the sunlight streaming in through the window sparkple over Cessily's face. Stop that. She's not available. She cleared her throat.

Cessily: "Oh, Kitty... I'll always be your friend!" Cessily felt a tear on her cheek, but her smile broadened nonetheless. "I was so scared you'd never speak to me again at first. I'd never been able to bear this!" Her hands played with the cloth on the canvas. "And... here! I finished this the last night, it's... a little something to remind us how happy we've all been at your home." She handed Kitty the canvas. "It's a gift... to say I'm sorry!"

Cessily: Cessily chewed on her lip as she held out the painting, unsure what to say. Don't mess up again, Cess, please don't mess up again! "And... I want you to know that I've been thinking about you ever... ever since you told me... how you feel." Please, don't let her freak out at that! "A lot, you know?"

Kitty: Kitty smiled when she saw the painting. "Wow! That's like, amazing! You really did a good job!" She held the painting reverently, tilting it to catch the light. "You're like, so artistic..." she trailed off as Cessily continued. "But like, you're taken. You're with Japh. I will accept it, my heart's broken, but it's not something to ruin a good friendship over."

Cessily: "Thank you! I'm glad you like it." Cessily's smile faded a little at Kitty's words. How much she wanted to hold her. "And... I'm with Japh, that's right... but I'm not taken." Ok, this was the really difficult part. "You know... I'm not like... other people." Wonderful start, girl. "For me... love is the most beautiful thing. But I don't think that it should be... constrained... just... enjoyed." Now you sound like a weirdo!

Cessily: "Kit, I'm so happy that you still like me... and... oh god, I don't know how to explain... but... you're my best friend! And only now I started to see you... like you see me... and if you still... then..." Cessily's voice trailed off and she inspected her toes instead. You suck with words, Kincaid!

Kitty: "Huh?" Kitty put the painting aside and gave Cessily a puzzled look. "What do you mean? Are you like, seriously telling me you like me now?"

Cessily: Cessily forced her gaze back on her friend. "Kitty... I... how shall I put his...?" How about just telling the truth? "Kit, of course I like you. You're the nicest person I know and so lovely and beautiful and I'm such a fool that it took me so long to finally see this and that I had to make a mess out of everything before I realized..." She sighed. "That I almost had to lose your friendship just to realize how much you mean to me."

Kitty: "Wait, wait wait. You can't tell me you want me after you said you didn't! That's not fair!"

Kitty: She got up and paced, tuggling on her hair. "Like, what kind of torture is that for me? That's not nice!"

Cessily: Cessily put a hand to her forehead, making a troubled face. You fool, she wants to be your friend again and you go ahead and mess it up. "Kitty, please... please understand me. I... I never said that I didn't like you... it's just that I can be a huge idiot at times. I never thought about you that way until you told me... and then I... I was crushed because you yelled at me and needed time to think... and work it out for myself."

Cessily: She got up as well, but was reluctant to approach Kitty. "And I even talked with Japh and he totally understands me and..." She breathed deeply. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you again, please believe me! But... but that is the way I feel now... and if you still feel the same... I mean, this is nothing bad then, no? How can it be bad if we... both feel that way?"

Kitty: Kitty stopped and turned to face Cessily. "What? Look, I'm like sooooo not getting what you're saying. You're with Japh. You like Japh. But you like me. After you rejected me. I'm not getting this!" She wiped her tears. "What, so you like, want to step out on Japh with me for thrills? Do you know what this is like, doing to my brain?" I won't cry again!

Cessily: OhgodOhgodOhgod... what I'm I doing here!? "No, Kitty... Japh is going to be fine!" I hope. "I told him what happened and he understands that... that I can't be together with just one person. And it's not for thrills! Why... why should I be forced to deny my love for someone just because I met someone else earlier? This is not fair. I love Japh... and... you. I... I can't choose. I can't bring myself to not love someone."

Kitty: "Er..." Kitty plopped onto the chair again, staring at Cessily. "You mean, like, love two people at the same time? Like, have a um... onesided menage a trois? With you in between us? I like, couldn't do that to Japh!"

Cessily: Cessily was crestfallen, sat back on the bed and looked at her hands. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have began with all that again. But... it wouldn't have been honest, no? I do like the both of you, there's no denying this. And... and Japh... I don't have double-standards. It's not like I'd demand of him or you to be faithful to just one person when I'm not. I was just hoping... that it could work somehow."

Cessily: She looked up, regarding Kitty's puzzled face. "Please, I'm sorry, but understand. I'm just a foolish dreamer who thinks that such a thing could work. People just... loving each other freely, without pain, sadness and... jealousy. I'm naive, I know. But... that's me. If you don't want this, then... ack, I don't know what then, Kit." She shook her head, then rested it in her hands.

Kitty: "But...that's not how it works...is it? I need time to think. I'll talk to Japh. You're very confusing." She rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming. Even Dr. McCoy's stuff was not as hard as this!

Cessily: "You'll talk to Japh?" Cessily felt a tiny bit of hope returning. "And you'll think about it?" A little smile appeared on her face. She had to hold herself back from crossing the room and hug her. "I know that I'm weird but... but I'm so happy that you'll even think about it. Please, give me a chance. That would be so wonderful!" Cessily stood up again, unsure what to do next.

Kitty: She smiled up at Cessily. "Yeah, I'll talk to Japh. See what he thinks of this. It's just...so unexpected." And a talk to Remy and Lizzie! I am like, waaay out of my league!

Cessily: "That's... that's great, Kit!" Cessily beamed, walking over to her and hugging her anyway. "I'm so happy that you're smiling again and... considering this." She pulled back a bit, giving her a concerned look. "But I guess I pretty much overwhelmed you, didn't I. And you look tired. I guess I'll better let you have some rest, no? Give you time to think."

Kitty: Kitty patted Cessily's back. "Ok, then. Thanks. I'll just finish putting the posters up..." She picked up the painting. "And figure out where to put this."

Cessily: Cessily nodded, a big smile on her face. "Shiny! And... take your time. I want you to be happy, you know?" Cessily made her way to the door, feeling terribly excited. "I better leave you alone now, no?" She opened the door, shot Kitty another sheepish grin, waved and was gone.


[Edited on 26/7/07 by fourpawsonthefloor]

[fourpawsonthefloor]

Well, won't THAT be an awkward convo. "hey Japh...mind if I shlepp you're gf?!" LOL

And who gets first dibs??

Paws

[Slarti]

Kiiiiiiiiiinky!

[littlebamf]

Man, what with all this, Lizzie has a new job - sex therapsit

Sweet Job you guys!

[steyn]

Originally posted by fourpawsonthefloor
Well, won't THAT be an awkward convo. "hey Japh...mind if I shlepp you're gf?!" LOL

And who gets first dibs??

Paws

Lol, shlepp? First time I heard that word, I first though Kitty will be drunk talking with Japh, but after looking it up, I realized it's an actual word. Or at least a kind of slang word used by yuppies, according to the Urban Dictionary.