8/29 Instance: Stop Runnin'

[fourpawsonthefloor]

instance on the 10 or 11th

Rogue: Rogue sat outside under a tree, playing with a leaf. She felt awful for what she did, but she wasn't sure when she could talk to Drake without him completely flying off the handle. She sighed, pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, and layed her head down. One of her hands still twirled the leaf absently.

Remy: He spotted her, but between his natural habit of being quiet and her preoccupation, he didn't know if she heard him or was just ignoring him. He stopped a couple feet away. "Rogue?"

Rogue: Rogue sat up quickly and looked around. She calmed when she saw Remy, "Oh, hey, sugah. Sorry, Ah was just lost in mah own thoughts." She gave him a small smile, "What's up?"

Remy: He crouched down beside her. "Thought y' were maybe avoidin' me a bit. An' thought we should talk."

Rogue: Rogue turned her body towards him, "Not so much avoidin' you as everybody really." She fidgeted with the leave again, "What's on ya mind, sugah?"

Remy: "Well. Thought we could talk about dis rather dan y' makin' y'reself sick over it. I know y're feelin' bad about it, petite."

Rogue: Rogue sighed and tucked some of her hair behind her ear, not meeting his eyes, "Yeah, Ah don't know what ta do... Ah can't believe Ah lost so much self-control."

Remy: "Y' made a mistake petite. Y' got too caught up in it. An' now, oui, y'll have t' sort about fixin' it, but it ain't d' first time in d' world someone's screwed up."

Remy: "I got y're note an' stuff. Y' know...I do know y're sorry. Y' don' have t' worry about me thinkin' y're a bad person or anythin'."

Rogue: She picked at the edges of the leaf, "Why not? Ah helped a boy who had no one in tha world think that he wouldn't evah be able ta trust anybody. Ah wanna fix it. Ah wanna talk ta him. But Ah bet there's no chance in hell he'll let me in."

Rogue: Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to look at him, "Ah made a mess of things. An' Ah'll leave after Ah talk ta Drake. Ah don't want ta mess up anythin' else for anybody."

Remy: "What are y' talkin' about?" He got closer to her. "Y' ain't leavin'." he said firmly.

Remy: "Sure he might tell y' t' piss off. Y' might have t' look at him every day an' feel a bit guilty. Dat's life, petite. Things happen. Y' fuck up. But life goes on."

Rogue: She laughed sadly and let the leaf fall back down to the pile it came from, "Why shouldn't Ah? If Ah'm not tempted ta touch, Ah don't hurt people. An' Ah don't get tempted if Ah don't stick around a place."

Rogue: "Have ya ever fucked up with ya powers?" She looked at him, "Honestly?"

Remy: "Wit' my powers? Oui. Sure I have." He met her eyes. "Done it on purpose too. But more dan my powers, I've done things t' screw people over wit' my bear hands, plain an' simple."

Remy: "Trust me petite. I know y're afraid of yourself. But runnin' away ain't gonna make it better. Y'll jus' get more scared. An' y' can't live y're life away from everyone."

Rogue: "Did ya ever feel this bad afterwards?" She clenched her jaw as her eyes started to burn with the promise of tears.

Remy: "Oui. If I didn't...den I wouldn't be a very good person, oui?" He slid an arm around her. "Its supposed t' hurt. Y' jus' gotta learn from it, rather dan runnin' from it. I had t' learn dat as well, d' hard way."

Rogue: Rogue leaned into him as she felt a tear fall, "Ah'm so sorry, Remy," she felt her voice waver some, "Ah know ya disappointed in me." She clenched her jaw again and forced her voice to steady, "An' don't even pretend like ya aren't. Ah saw tha look on ya face in tha library."

Remy: "Oui. But dat doesn't mean I'm mad at y'." he shook his head. "If y'd gone an' done it an' not felt bad about it once y' realized what y'd done, den I'd be pissed. But everyone's allowed t' screw up. Y' ain't perfect. No one is."

Rogue: "Part of me wishes ya were mad at me. It's a lot easier ta deal with than someone ya like bein' disappointed in ya." She let out a long breath, "Thank ya.... Foh not jumpin' mah case..."

Remy: "Rogue, what right would I have for judgin' y'? Trust me, petite, I've done a helluva lot worse things."

Remy: "Look. Part of d' reason dat dis got t' me so much is cause of my whole thing wit' havin' people knowin' all about me without my permission. Its why I got d' thing wit' telepaths."

Rogue: She picked up a different leaf and twirled it like the first, "Yeah. An' Ah mean, Ah guess in a way, Ah'm worse than any ol' telepath, huh? A telepath ya could block with sheilds. Kinda hard ta block touch 'less ya expectin' it."

Remy: "But y' aren't evil, Rogue, or a bad person. Y' jus' got t' realize how it can all come down." He leaned a bit closer. "Y' wanna know somethin'? Lizzie didn't always respect people's privacy like she does now. She used t' use her telepathy t' make people do stuff she wanted, like let her in d' bar an' stuff. But d' y' think she's a bad person?"

Rogue: Rogue laughed, Miss Perfect did that? "No, of course not." She fought a grin, "But Ah bet that came in handy."

Remy: "In ways, but gettin' into someones secrets like dat...I dunno." he shook his head. "Think about if y' told me a secret. Somethin' close t' y're heart. An' den I told d' whole school. Its kinda sorta like dat. How y'd feel at least. Y' know? Like y' had no control or privacy."

Remy: "Its one thing for her t' jus' blank out a part of someone's mind, an' not poke in it. Its another thing t' sift through it...an' all dere skeletons y' know?"

Rogue: "Yeah, Ah do. Ah'd hate foh that ta happen ta me." She shrugged, "Guess that's why Ah'm so tight-lipped 'bout things Ah see an' feel when Ah touch people. An' part of why Ah want ta learn ta control it so bad. Ah don't like doin' it. Sure Ah guess sometimes it could be useful, but Ah'd like ta be able ta pick when."

Remy: "Its good dat y' do dat. Y' can't help it when its an accident...or say if y' needed t' do it. So d' best thing t' do, is t' keep quiet about what y' find, 'less its somethin' bad dat needs addressin'."

Remy: "An' I know y' want t' learn control. Y' see Dai yet?"

Rogue: Rogue shook her head, "No. Ah'm kinda scared ta. Ah've nevah talked ta a shrink before." She turned her head slightly towards him, eyes still on the leaf, "Did everythin' go ok when ya went an' talked ta her?"

Remy: "Well...t' be honest first few times I saw her, I didn't talk." he looked a bit sheepish. "I'm pretty stubborn at times."

Remy: "But, she was always nice. An' when I admitted dat I needed help, she was dere for me. So oui, its gone better dan ok."

Rogue: Rogue smiled, "Ah'm glad everythin's gone so great foh ya, sugah.' She chuckled some, "An' Ah think we both know now how stubborn Ah can be too." She let the leaf fall and stroked the ends of her hair, "Ah'm nervous 'bout goin' ta see her 'cause Ah don't feel all that safe without mah powers. Ah mean, sure, 'round you? Ah got no issue. But what if Ah freak an' forget how ta turn 'em back on when Ah really need 'em?"

Remy: "Well. Dat's another reason t' see her den, neh? An' y' can learn control over it too. Dat's d' whole point." He started rubbing her back. "An'...most women don' have dem, an' dey are fine. What are y' worried is gonna happen t' y' petite."

Rogue: Rogue shrugged again, "Ah dunno. That's tha problem. Ah have no clue. An' that scares me."

Remy: "Y're funny. Cause in ways y're open, an' warm, an' relaxed...an' in others y' got all dese walls. Like y're name. I'm pretty sure y're parents didn't name y' 'Rogue', less dey were hippies. Its somethin' so simple, y' know? But its like y' want t' remain in d' shadows. Dere but not dere."

Rogue: Rogue turned her head away from him, "If Ah let people know too much about me, they could end up gettin' hurt." She felt a grin grow on her face, "Mah parents didn't name me Rogue. Although they kinda were like hippies Ah guess." Her grin faded again, "But it's nice in tha shadows... It's safer that way."

Remy: "Why are people gonna get hurt by knowin' about y'?"

Rogue: "Ah dunno... Ah've been runnin' foh so long, Ah just don't wanna see anyone get hurt if Ah leave again." She looked back at him, "Like you." She swallowed hard and quickly added, "An' everyone else here."

Remy: "So den, d' answers simple. Don' run." He smiled at her. "So stop runnin'. An' hidin'. What's y're real name?"

Rogue: Rogue just stared at him for a second, did he just ask her what her name was? She eyed him cautiously, "Why?"

Remy: "Cause I want t' know. I want y' t' trust someone enough t' open up a little, an' stop runnin'. Runnin' didn't ever do me any good, an' I can't imagine it does y' either."

Rogue: Rogue rubbed her face for a moment with both hands, then took a deep breath and looked up at him, "Anna Marie."

Remy: His smile widened. "Dat's a pretty name. Suits y'. So would y' like me t' call y' Anna when its jus' d' two of us? Or Rogue still?"

Rogue: Rogue smiled, "Ah haven't been called Anna in a long time.. Or Marie even." She laughed, "Or both tagether."

Rogue: She looked into his eyes and blushed slightly, "Ah think Ah'd like it if ya used mah real name."

Remy: "Good." he pulled her against him a bit, careful to keep fabric between them. "So dis mean y're stayin'?"

Rogue: She smiled, "Ah guess Ah have ta." Her real name. Some one knew it again and it felt nice.

Remy: "I'm real glad t' hear it." He sat with her for a few minutes, just enjoying the contact. "So...what are y' gonna do about Drake?"

Rogue: Rogue sighed, she'd nearly forgotten about it, "Ah have no idea. Ah know Ah have ta talk ta him, but Ah also know that he has his powers back now. But Ah'm thinkin' that since Ah know tha stuff Ah do, that he'll open up ta me. Nothin' ta hide anymore."

Rogue: She let out a nervous laugh, "Any tips?"

Remy: "Well...he might, or he might not. Either way, y' gotta apologise an' mean it, petite. If y' can admit it when y're wrong, apologise, an' give what retribution dat y' can...no one else can ask more of y', neh?"

Rogue: "Yeah, Ah hope so." Anna looked up at him, "How is it that ya undastand me an' how Ah'm feelin' so well? Ya block ya empathy."

Remy: "Y' an' me aren't dat different in a lotta ways Anna. I'm afraid of my power in ways too. I've, up t' now, always chose t' run. It ain't hard t' figure y' out petite, when I've already been dere."

Rogue: Rogue laid her head on the edge of his shoulder and smiled, "That why Ah like ya so much? 'Cause ya like me?" She frowned a bit, "Why are ya afraid of ya power? Ya can control yours."

Remy: "Cause if I lose control of it, I'm pretty sure I'll go insane. I've lost control of it before...dis past year when I shot up. D' effects wore off, Merci Dieu, but if dey didn't...I couldn't be around people an' be sane. Its jus' too much."

Rogue: "Well they did an' ya quit. An' ya more sane than most of tha people here." She laughed softly at that. "So what happened when ya lost control? Ah mean, ya gotta be touchin' an inanimate object right?"

Remy: "I didn't blow things up. I jus' could feel everyone. I usually puked. But if I snapped...I dunno what I could be capable of. Its jus' never gone dat far." He smirked. "Obviously."

Remy: "It feels like tryin' t' fit a dozen or more people in y're head all at d' same time. Y're irritated but happy. Y're mad but at peace. Y're in love but y' hate. Its everythin' jarrin' together...an' y' don' know who y' are in dat whole mess."

Rogue: Anna sat in silence for a moment, "Ah know what ya mean. With all tha feelin's an memories Ah get, sometimes it's hard not ta think that some of 'em are mah own. Even if they aren't. So it can get a lil confusin'." She thought for a moment, "'Sat why ya blocked ya empathy? Or had ya done it before an' just lost control of ya shields?"

Remy: "I blocked it when it first happened. Or rather I didn't, an' nearly went outta my mind till I figured out how t' do it."

Remy: "When I did d' heroin...it messed wit' d' shields somehow. I couldn't keep dem up. When it wore off, dey'd come back - I could bring dem back up. When I was a kid, it was a lotta work t' keep dem up all d' time - but dere was motivation. Now, its more second nature. Like blinkin' or breathin'."

Rogue: Anna sat up suddenly and looked him in the eyes, excited, thinking she may have figured something out, "Kinda like alcohol does foh me? Only y'alls had ta do with shields... Crap." She laid her head back down, "Ah should learn how ta do shields. Maybe Ah'd be able ta hear mahself think more often."

Remy: "Maybe...it'd be worth a try at least, neh? I can help y' if y' want..."

Rogue: Anna smiled, "Ah'd like that. If it's not too much trouble foh ya. Ah know ya busy." She let out a short laugh, "Ah'm not sure how ya even have time ta spend with me. Ya a Papa, ya got school, ya got whatever it is ya do foh ya family, ya got all ya otha friends. Ya a busy busy boy, Remy, sugah."

Remy: He laughed. "Ain' d' first time someones said dat t' me. But I like keepin' myself doin' stuff anyways. It's good. An' I'm more dan happy t' help y'."

Rogue: Anna smirked, "Good, 'cause Ah wasn't gonna let ya not help me unless ya had a Johnny reason. How is he anyway? Ah haven't seen him in a bit an' Ah think TJ's avoidin' me..."

Remy: "He's six months now. An'...I dunno. TJ's kinda moody at times. Its hard t' always tell what does it. I'd jus' give her some time an' space."

Rogue: "Is he? Aww, that's so great." She smiled, she loved babies. Especially Johnny. "An' yeah, Ah hope ya right. But Ah dunno..." A sly grin grew on her face, "Ah got somethin' in mah room foh ya. Ah forgot about it until just now foh some reason."

Remy: "Y' do?" he looked hopeful. "Y' find more of my underwear? I've been puttin' off buyin' more cause I know its around here somewhere..."

Rogue: She grinned, "Ah do. An' didn't really find more, just haven't had a chance ta give ya back tha ones that were so graciously placed upon mah pillow." She furrowed her brow, "Ah still wanna know who did that."

Rogue: "Anyway, they're black an' kinda cottony-satinish. Great taste if Ah must say, sugah." She said with a wink.

Remy: He chuckled. "Well, if dere's on thing I've always liked, its havin' decent boxers an' briefs."

Rogue: Anna giggled a bit, "Good ta know..."

Rogue: "Ah'm gettin' kinda cold. Ah've been out here a while..." She sat up and looked at him, smiling, "Would ya make me some of that coffee that ya brought ta me tha otha day?"

Remy: "Sounds like a plan." he took her hand as they walked to the house.