11/23 Instance: Love and Faith

[Saint Kurt]

timeline: the day after Duncan and Johnny meet

Kitchen


FrWagner: Kurt stood, staring into the refrigerator. If he had gone shopping like he should have, he would have had his own food in his own refrigerator. But he hadn't, so ... he didn't. They had stuff here though. He started pulling out meat, cheese and bread. Despite actually learning to cook things over the past year, when you were "borrowing" food that wasn't yours, sandwiches were a good fall back.

FrWagner: No mustard though. Damn.

Talia: Talia headed into the kitchen, holding a whiney baby. She moved straight to the cupboard for a couple of teething biscuits, which soothed him pretty good. She noticed someone rummaging in the refrigerator. "Hey."

FrWagner: Kurt jumped at the sound of a voice from behind and hit his head on the top of the fridge. "Ouch!" He quickly turned around, rubbing his head with one hand, holding his sandwich ingredients with the other. "Uh... Hey Tal.. TJ. Hungry?" He asked.

Talia: "Um....actually, yeah. I haven't eaten since way early this morning. What're you making??" she asked, taking a seat at the table, Johnny munching away on his biscuit.

FrWagner: "I was traveling all last week," Kurt said, "No time to shop so I'm making... sandwiches I guess. Basically whatever I can find in your refrigerator. Want one? It's the only meal I can make that's not an experiment. Speaking of..." Kurt looked around the kitchen; at the scorched pots and unidentifiable spills on the stovetop, "What happened in here?"

Talia: "Sure..I'll have one. If there's mayo I'll have that on it.." she looked around. "Um...I dunno, I think Rachel said something about stew blowing up? I don't really know hwo that happens."

FrWagner: Kurt scratched his head. "Maybe it's some kind of new latent mutant power... 'Stew-splosion' or something," He said. He hadn't expected that part of his job as "extraordinary liaison" for the Vatican would include profiling the various skills and attributes. His head was swimming from having to come up with unique terms for all the various types of shape shifting and telekinesis going on.

FrWagner: He found mayonnaise and made Talia's sandwich. On his own he smeared a generous layer of Grey Poupon with a thinly veiled sigh. Setting both down at the table he sat down. "How is little Johnny," Kurt asked.

Talia: "He's ok.." she said, taking a bite of her sandwich. "Teething and cranky." She sighed a bit thinking of the previous day. "I'm kinda worried about his like...social skills."

FrWagner: "Social skills?" Kurt asked. "He's ... He's not even a year old is he? Do they even have social skills at this age?"

Talia: "Yeah..well, he's sposed to be developing them now..." she took another bite. "But he met Duncan yesterday and was a total brat. He didn't wanna share and tried to throw a block at him. He got ok a little later, but I couldn't believe he was acting that way. Like...we didn't teach him to be like that!"

FrWagner: Kurt thought for a moment. "Well," he said, looking up, "Has he played with many children his own age? Or ... Is it mainly adults or students at the school?"

Talia: "He hasn't, and that's the problem...but like, I didn't think it was this bad," she frowned at Johnny, who offered up his biscuit to her. She sighed again. "He's so good with us. And other people. Just..no one his age. I dunno what to do about it though, like, I don't wanna put him in like...day care just for that..."

FrWagner: Kurt reached over and waved to get Johnny's attention. "The church where I pastored last year had ... 'playgroups' I think they called them. The mothers were there too and they talked while the kids played," he said.

FrWagner: "I'm trying to think of what it must have been like when I was his age," Kurt said afterwards, more to himself. "I was VERY isolated. No one was allowed to see or talk to me but my mother. But only a short while later ... I was performing, part of a troupe so... Maybe it's not as bad as you think."

Talia: She bit her lip. "I don't know..it was so horrible seeing him be so bad with Duncan. It felt like we screwed up totally. Maybe I'll find out about that playgroup thing."

FrWagner: "I can get you one of the bulletins. It has the number and an email I think."

FrWagner: Then Kurt frowned thinking about Talia's frustration. There had to be something he could say. Something... well, not fatherly, but ... helpful at least. "It's never easy... I mean, what do I know about raising children, but ... I can't imagine it's easy. And Johnny's an extraordinary so it's going to make things that much harder for you and for him."

FrWagner: "Have you talked to your mom? About what it was like when you were growing up? If anyone is an expert on raising an extraordinary baby, it's got to be her," Kurt said.

Talia: "I talk to her alot, but not about this yet. But there were lots of other kids my age when I was growing up, I knew all my friends since I was a baby," she told him, scrubbing her face.

Talia: She took a deep breath. "And I worry so much about how hard it is gonna be for him. Me and Remy talk about it all the time. It worries us, but we don't really know the best thing to do..."

FrWagner: Kurt sighed. "I can't say I do either," he admitted. "But I do know one thing, with each generation it gets easier."

FrWagner: "Think about it, when I was born, my family wanted to drown me in their lake or ... at least that's what my mother told me. And she had to take me away from there to ... to a place where the fact that I was so different was a good thing," Kurt said. It was strange talking about these things. He didn't really like to talk about this part of his life, all the stupid things he'd done after leaving the circus yes, but this was... private.

FrWagner: "And you... When you were born, your mother, she was a smart lady because where you grew up was a place that was isolated and close knit, just like the circus where I was raised. It let you... belong and that is very important," Kurt said.

FrWagner: "And now... Number 3 in a line of ... 'blue people'," Kurt said with a grin, "is here living in a place surrounded not only by other extraordinaries, but there are people who look like him here. Do you know what I would have done to see just one other blue person with a tail?" Kurt laughed. "There will always be things to worry about, but ... look how much better he's got it already? Than either of us?"

Talia: "I guess..." she said. "But what about when he has to go to school and all? Like, I had a school on the reservation to go to. And I want him to be able to have friends and all that stuff. I just feel like there's nothing I can actually do.."

FrWagner: "He's a little person," Kurt said. "All you can do is provide the opportunities for him to grow. That's all either of our parents did right?"

Talia: She nodded. "But there's so much more we need to do...like, make sure he's safe and protected all the time, but when he grows up, we won't be able to be with him all the time. Sometimes I wish I had like...powers like Lizzie so I could know where he was all the time."

FrWagner: Kurt gave her a long look. "Do you really want that? Protection is..." He thought for a moment. "It's about giving our children the tools to protect themselves, to make the right choices, to... grow up. I told your mother I would look after you, protect you while you were here."

FrWagner: "It wasn't easy. When you and Remy... went away. I didn't tell your mother you were gone. She still doesn't know. At least, I've never told her. Part of 'protecting you' was letting you go, giving you the freedom to make mistakes, to learn... And ... It nearly killed me to do it. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, turning around and walking away that day upstate but... I see you now and I know I did the right thing."

FrWagner: "I can't imagine that it's any easier when their younger," Kurt said.

Talia: TJ bit her lip. "Well...I think maybe my mother should have known...like, back then, it would have been awful. They may have taken me from the school and then me and Remy wouldn't have been able to be together. But at the same time...if something like that happened to Johnny, I would totally want to know. I'd hate not being able to know."

Talia: "Like...I get that you have to let go with kids and all...but he's still young...everything that happens to him now is basically up to me and Remy..and then like..based on that will be how he grows up. It's scary to think of it like that.."

FrWagner: Kurt nodded. "It is scary," he said. "Because there's no way to know if you're doing the right thing. Not telling your mother was only ... slightly less difficult because at the time I was sure I was doing the exact WRONG thing for the wrong reason. That I was doing what you wanted and telling myself I was respecting your independence because I didn't want you to hate me."

FrWagner: "That's the hard part isn't it?" Kurt said. "We want our kids to love us as much as we love them."

Talia: She looked down at Johnny. "I don't think it's possible for anyone to love me as much as I love him."

FrWagner: "I do." Kurt said. "I was talking about your mom and dad," he said after her long look. "I think they love you just as much."

Talia: She thought a moment, then nodded. "I guess your right...it's like..that love you have for your kid. It's like...so much stronger than anything I like, ever felt before. I'd do anything for him."

FrWagner: Kurt stood up and put his hand on Johnny's head for a moment. "That's the cool thing about being a priest," he said. "You get to love everyone that way. And then, you reserve a little extra for the one's who are your family." He moved his hand from Johnny's head to Talia's shoulder wondering if for a moment if she'd let him kiss her on the top of the head like she allowed him to do with Johnny. He didn't risk it.

FrWagner: Instead he said, "Love is powerful. The love you feel for him? That's all the protection he needs. You'll see."

Talia: "I...I hope so. I just don't know if I believe that..." she admitted.

FrWagner: "You'll just have to have faith then," Kurt said. "Faith that it will be enough."

FrWagner: "And you'll see..." He gave her shoulder a squeeze before letting go, "a little faith and a lot of love go a very long way."