You know your living in a comic book when...

DC, Marvel, Image, BOOM!, Dynamite and more! Discuss everything comics and related to comics. If it's comics and Nightcrawler isn't in it, this is the place!
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Ult_Sm86 » Sat Sep 06, 2003 6:18 pm

You know your living in a comic book when


1) Your cutting carrots and the knife slips and cuts your finger. YOu begin to bleed ink.

2) you recieve an add for "The Daily Bugle" in your rmail

3) you have to go to the bathroom you need to go to the next page.

anybody got any others?
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Maelstrom » Sat Sep 06, 2003 6:26 pm

You know you're living in a comic book when....

The term "Act of God" is continually being redefined by the insurance companies.

In addition to the usual morning traffic reports, there's a "Villian Fight" monitor. "And today, the slowdown on the I-80 is caused by one of Doctor Octopus' runaway robots. Across town, the police are in a standoff with Captain Choas, so I'd avoid the intersection of Meridian and Campbell streets...."

The air traffic controllers use military-capable radar so they can pinpoint flying objects smaller than a Cessna and faster than the SR71 Blackbird.

Those same air traffic controllers have a burnout rate of three weeks.

Half of the yellow pages is devoted to damage control and construction companies, and they all still have a backlog of two months.
Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into the intake of a jet engine..... :evil

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Siona » Sat Sep 06, 2003 8:47 pm

You know when...
  • Guys are in spandex...and lookin' good!
  • You get stubble and people call you "Fuzzy"
  • Every other woman is drop-dead gorgeous and just happens to like YOU.
  • You will NEVER get your freak on; comics are rated PG-13 or below. :D
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Ult_Sm86 » Sun Sep 07, 2003 12:43 am

you know your living in a comic book when

You can't go to school because an android blew it up, or a gian strong mand tore it down because he didn't like the principal and had all his problems and anger bottled up until the day he was conveninetly experimented on.
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Maelstrom » Sun Sep 07, 2003 1:30 am

You know you're living in a comic book when....

People have no problem with superpowered heroes like the Fantastic Four, or the Avengers, or Superman, but if you stick the word "mutant" on them, they suddenly transform into something loathesome for no apparent reason and have to be controlled. :? :? :?

Japan actually DOES have a Godzilla Watch, and tourists are advised not to visit during Mating Season on Monster Island.

Medicine takes a sharp left turn. You never suffer complications from being knocked out. You never have cavities or yeast infections/jock itch. People can wake up from comas and be 100% functional, if a bit physically weak, instead of having to relearn how to walk, talk, eat. and think all over again. "Catatonic Schitzophrenia" means "any time someone goes into a coma", and it's completely devoid of such symptoms as waxy mobility and repetitive motions.

For us girls: you never have monthly accidents staining your clothes ;)
Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into the intake of a jet engine..... :evil

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by TheSpike » Sun Sep 07, 2003 5:42 am

-When you die and your brought back
-When some insane cult makes you believe you're a priest:rolleyes
-When, out of a sudden, you discover you have some new brother/sister/kid ;)
-When all women you see have breasts bigger than your head:D
-When you study at Xavier's
-When you're tired of rebuilding your house from constant mutant attacks / alien invasions / ancient gods returning / super villains, etc.:rolleyes
-when you have a clone:LOL
"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight,
let those who worship evil's might,
beware my power, Green Lantern's light! "
--Green Lantern's Oath

Inferno (on TV): "BUUUURRRRRRRRN!"
Butt-head: "Hey, Beavis, he said 'burn'."
Beavis: "Yeah! Yeah! 'Burn' is cool! Fire, fire, fire!"

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by SheCat » Sun Sep 07, 2003 6:08 am

-When savin' de world is your past-time
-When you hear an explosion an' t'ink "My God! Aliens Again?!?!?"
-When a girl has a six-pack and dat's considered common place
-When someone's arm is bigger den deir head *cough Bishop cough cough*
-When blood is green *cough Gow Yang cough cough*
-When all scars are conveniently placed over your eye
-When red eyes are sexy (yeah baby!:naughty) (wait, dat's in real life already)
-When people can shoot at a super-hero 500 times an' never hit, but a single solar plasma shot can take down a shark about 800 meters away
- When a bar fight breaks out every single time you go in
- When a guy can fall from fifty stories on his head and buckle a car an' is up in de next panel
- When trenchcaots aren't suspicious (just sexy):naughty
- When people t'ink nothin' odd about a red angular marking over one eye, white streaked hair, red eyes, coordinate planes over one eye, white hair when you're African American, or dat every single gal in a hotel has a playboy worthy body
-When Remy LeBeau takes you for a tour of Reno beneath de stars an' you kiss...(wait, dat's jus' my dream, not a part of de list :blush)
"I throw de cards, de cards go BOOM! End of bad guy, end of story." -Gambit, X-Treme
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Maelstrom » Sun Sep 07, 2003 6:15 am

You know you're living in a comic book when....

You discover that somehow you're related to Scott Summers. :eek Never mind that you're African-American... :shocked and a recent immigrant from Haiti.... :die

You can never believe someone has died from a bullet to the head, or a car crash, or falling into a volcano. In fact, if everyone sees it happen, you can be sure the poor bastard will show up alive next month....

People start talking in long, pretentious, stilted blocks of text, despite being in a firefight or running a marathon.

People also start to state what is happening to them as it happens. "My God! That Train! About to hit me -- !*crunch*"

No one stands "normally". They have to pose in a heroic fashion, fists clenched.
Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into the intake of a jet engine..... :evil

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by TheSpike » Sun Sep 07, 2003 6:25 am

-when people talk to themselves:LOL
-when, instead of hearing sound, you see strange white balloons over people's heads with text and instead of noises you see big colorful words like CRASH!, POW!, WHOOM!, SNIKT!, BAMF!, etc...:LOL
-When half of the population have superpowers:eek
-When these super-powered people actually form groups to fight crimeand dress in ridiculous spandex suits
-When you don't have to work to mantain a huge mansion that is destroyed monthly with tons of students in it...
-All the super-powered people look good;)
"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight,
let those who worship evil's might,
beware my power, Green Lantern's light! "
--Green Lantern's Oath

Inferno (on TV): "BUUUURRRRRRRRN!"
Butt-head: "Hey, Beavis, he said 'burn'."
Beavis: "Yeah! Yeah! 'Burn' is cool! Fire, fire, fire!"

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by SheCat » Sun Sep 07, 2003 6:42 am

- When the average student is green
- When you start to fall, then wait a mont' before you find out where you land cause the f***in' writer gave people a cliffhanger
- When superheroes never die except de hot girl who is loved by all *cough Betsy cough U-GO Girl cough*
- When a single blow to de back of de head can cause someone to go unconscious but a round of .576 magnums can't hit a t'ing
- When a girls hair is perfect after bein' trapped in a giant suction tupe despite de fact dat it was down an' should be a rat's nest by now
- When alternate realities are everyday occurences
- When de future is predicted an' almost comes true, but not quite
- When pretty nurses discover dey are necophiliacs *cough Gahzikahnian cough*
- When you can only be a superhero if you're part of de Summers, Wagner or Cameron family. Otherwise, you're jus' kinda dere.
-When de incredible hot guy gets his shirt off an' is bein' tortured by an interportal beam but we focus on de pretty captive chick instead (grrr, Storm) ...oh, sorry
- When every guy is hot but Freddy Dukes and Lucas Bishop and Xavier
- When acrobats are usually performing at deir best widdout a warm-up or anyt'in'
- When it turns out you have a mother who has tried to kill you
- When Remy- oh sorry, mental fantasy
"I throw de cards, de cards go BOOM! End of bad guy, end of story." -Gambit, X-Treme
"Everything I still want I just now prayed for." -Kreon, Antigone :cry
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by TheSpike » Sun Sep 07, 2003 7:22 am

When you're born in 1956 and even tho it's already 2003 you still are on your mid 20's
"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight,
let those who worship evil's might,
beware my power, Green Lantern's light! "
--Green Lantern's Oath

Inferno (on TV): "BUUUURRRRRRRRN!"
Butt-head: "Hey, Beavis, he said 'burn'."
Beavis: "Yeah! Yeah! 'Burn' is cool! Fire, fire, fire!"

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Ult_Sm86 » Sun Sep 07, 2003 2:19 pm

You know your lving in a comic book when

Your shot in the back, fall into a river and come back a year later after a coma and awake in a mental hospital conveniently the same hospital holding the person who tried to kill you. Revenge?

Everyody can read your thoughts...litterally.
R.I.P. Ultimate Peter Parker :spidey 6/22/11 USM#160
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Northstars Love » Sun Sep 07, 2003 5:30 pm

You know you are in a comic book when

Spandex is the top seller in fashion

That your life is nothing but story arcs

Your mansion neighbors have very strange parties almost everday.

That you don't need a job and that everything seems to pay for itself.

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by zwei » Sun Sep 07, 2003 7:09 pm

You know you live in a comic when :

Your personal history changes every month or so
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"If I led a normal life I'd quite cheerfully go mad and fall over now." - Nightcrawler

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Beboots » Sun Sep 07, 2003 7:30 pm

You know you are in a comic book when...

-Nobody really bats an eye at anything strange, unless it's flashy and saving some chick's/young child's life.

-When nobody really cares about how your power works, just that it does.

-When blue skin/fur/scales go pretty well with every clothing style, 'specially spandex, no matter what color.
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Shadow_Dancer » Sun Sep 07, 2003 8:12 pm

You know you’re living in a comic book when

You have met relatives or alter egos from a dozen different possible futures or alternate universes.

You can’t remember who is your foster sister, your adoptive sister, your half brother and your counsin’s nephew is also your uncle.

You are so busy being a superhero you don’t take the time to eat or sleep.

You not only wear spandex costumes to fight villains, but you also walk around the house all day in them.

You’ve been stretched, mind controlled, switched bodies with someone else, been turned into a zombie, a host for aliens, sent to limbo etc., and you are still mentally competent.

You actually finally get to sleep and wake up hundreds of miles away in a huge crowd of odd looking creatures and you're stark naked :eek
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream." Mark Twain

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Siona » Sun Sep 07, 2003 10:44 pm

YKYLCBW:

A woman bursts into your mansion and cries "Yes, it is I, your former lover. I know you thought I was dead after that skiing accident but I only had a coma and have been living in Maui. Yes. I AM YOUR MOTHER."

No matter how times your home has been destroyed, you will ALWAYS have the money to rebuild it.

When someone is about to die, you must ALWAYS shout their name!

~Siona
You cannot stop me. You cannot destroy me. For I am the cockroach of looove.

"Ah, young love. Stupid pencils."
-- SheCat.

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Maelstrom » Sun Sep 07, 2003 10:54 pm

You know you're living in a comic book when...

Psychotic criminals who cause a billion dollars worth of damage are regularly put in a prison that they regularly escape from, rather than being sent to the gas chamber.

You can never be sure who your relatives are. After all, DNA can be altered and faked with such ease....

Civillian superheroes regularly save the world from alien invasions and awesome super-weaponry, yet they wouldn't be caught dead doing the same thing against normal humans in such trouble spots as Liberia, Tibet, Myanmar, Somalia, Ruanda, or the Middle East....

The Kree, Skrull, and Shi'Ar all have embassies in Washington DC.
Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into the intake of a jet engine..... :evil

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Nightcrawler ZERO » Mon Sep 08, 2003 3:26 am

- You've ever had to give back your life insurance collection.

- You actively seek out radioactiove carcinogens hoping to gain a little extra muscle.

-You've lived through 2 world wars, 9-11, vietnam, and the crowning of Loius XIV, but have yet to gain one grey hair.

- When you here that national monuments are destroyed, your reaction is not shock, but annoyance. "Well, guesswe'll have to pa to rebuild THAT again"

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by SheCat » Mon Sep 08, 2003 3:38 am

-Spandex never wrinkles
-Torn Spandex is always done artfully wit' at least some dignity/privacy
-Spandex does not collect dust, pollen, dandruff or fur even if you're furry yourself
-You don't have allergies or need glasses
-Or have braces
-Or anyt'in' dat'll draw attention from de gapin' scar on your face
-You have never had a normal life *neener neener neener*
-You are an orphan/runaway, yet no one at all pities you at all because you are either a psycho or you have become a national icon
-De President knows you on first name terms, an' all you had ta do was save de world
-Cars can go off cliffs an' get caught in jet planes
-Metal detectors never detect an adamantium skeleton *airport security, yeah right*
-Dere's always one person on de team who keeps deir anger all bottled up, den unleashes it wit' verbal abuse in de middle of a fight
-People in comas always wake up eventually
-Only people who were unstable from de start recieve mental disorders from concussion an' head trauma
-No friend of yours looks even close to modest in deir uniform
-Except de ones wit' girlfriends/boyfriends
-And even den...
"I throw de cards, de cards go BOOM! End of bad guy, end of story." -Gambit, X-Treme
"Everything I still want I just now prayed for." -Kreon, Antigone :cry
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"You act like I know what day of the week it is." ~Patchy
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by CuteLittleBamf » Mon Sep 08, 2003 4:11 am

When you can pull back your fist for a punch…. And then deliver a long winded speech about how hard you are about to hit them and the bad guy doesn’t even move to avoid the hit in all the time you’ve given him:smirk

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by TheSpike » Mon Sep 08, 2003 4:21 am

No super-hero is chubby... :shocked :shocked
"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight,
let those who worship evil's might,
beware my power, Green Lantern's light! "
--Green Lantern's Oath

Inferno (on TV): "BUUUURRRRRRRRN!"
Butt-head: "Hey, Beavis, he said 'burn'."
Beavis: "Yeah! Yeah! 'Burn' is cool! Fire, fire, fire!"

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Maelstrom » Mon Sep 08, 2003 4:43 am

You know you're in a comic book when....

There's no such thing as Kaopectate, Pepto-Bismal, Ammodium, or any other medicine of the sort sold in drugstores, because no one ever gets diarrhea.

You stay 14/27/35 years old forever. And if it becomes inconvenient to both look like you're in your 30s and be a WWII icon (cough*Captain America*cough), nobody will ever mention it to you....

No one ever gets acne, either.

Laws of physics are more like suggestions.
Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into the intake of a jet engine..... :evil

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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by spidergirl » Mon Sep 08, 2003 4:14 pm

Your friends call you "Mayday" and you really do have a job as a photographer for the newspaper.


You know someone that can really climb up walls. (*nudges Frank)
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You know your living in a comic book when...

Post by Siona » Mon Sep 08, 2003 9:56 pm

You know what? I'm starting up my own site on another account with Tripod...I might just add this to my "Lists of Utter Nonsese!" page. :smirk

~Siona
You cannot stop me. You cannot destroy me. For I am the cockroach of looove.

"Ah, young love. Stupid pencils."
-- SheCat.

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