Does Kurt Fart fresh Pine and is it yellow?

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 8:32 pm

Seriously. if when he teleports it smells (some say brimstone is alot like the smell of a$$) what does that make his farts smell like? are they purple?

I mean sure they're not out of dimensional portals but ...ok a better example is ultimate kurt. His eyes are always glowing after he ports and his nose is smoke as is his mouth...what about his farts? if he were to far upon re-entry would it be yellow? And do you think his body makes up for bad smells by making fresh nice farts or by making them the same farts everyone has?
now I know this thread seems stupid so if you think it's stupid don't post but I really wanna know if I'm the only one who ever thought about this...

also what kind of noise is it supposed to make if he's fuzzy, i mean he's got a fuzzy butt too i'd presume? Probably a lot like the bamf sound I'd think... a muffled fff is like bffmmmtt

TelegramSam · Post by **TelegramSam** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 9:43 pm

:o

okay, I'm not even going to attempt to approach this subject, but

Crawler · Post by **Crawler** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 9:48 pm

I'm going to have to say that the answer as to whether Kurt farts pine is: MOST DEFINITELY. And I'll tell you why.

First, I've gotten similar results by accidentally drinking Pine Sol with my Chili Burger. And we all know Kurt's fondness for drinking household cleaners.

Second, we all know that normal people teleport not through Hell, but through California's Redwood National Park. It only stands to reason that if our digestive tracts are so similar to hell, that his would be similar to Redwood National Park.

Third, we all know how much Kurt likes his cedar suppositories.

Fourth, Kurt is lonely and susceptible to crushes. Well, crushes are pining. And they make your stomach feel funny. Therefore, logic suggests that Kurt has piney insides and that any escaping gas would carry the scent.

Fifth, Kurt is furry. It stands to reason that he is related to Bigfoot. It is common knowledge that Bigfeet have anal pine scent glands (the "Taxi Cab Musk Organs" ) that help to conceal their flatulance from predators such as pumas, grizzlies, and porcupines. So Kurt may share this characteristic, as well as fur.

And we can always use the scientific method to find out. I've got the chili if you've got the time.

Bamf Bunny · Post by **Bamf Bunny** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 9:52 pm

"Nightcrawler didn't catch the last remark, but if he had, he wouldn't have thought anything of it. There wasn't a joke or comment that could be made about the byproducts of his power that he hadn't heard already. Some of them actually made him laugh. Regardless, he always made it a point to smile. Grace in adversity was an article of faith with him."

Chris Claremont, in the X2 novelization.

Tatu · Post by **Tatu** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 9:58 pm

I am speechless.... completely and utterly speechless...

#1 when the hell did gas EVER have a color?

#2 ....really, come on.

TelegramSam · Post by **TelegramSam** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 10:04 pm

Chlorine (mustard gas) has a color. Green-yellow in fact. Maybe he farts mustard gas.

Crawler · Post by **Crawler** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 10:10 pm

Better mustard gas than napalm. At least you just die with mustard gas.

NightPoofer · Post by **NightPoofer** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 10:27 pm

Wow... I just don't know what to say right now...

nice hypothesis Crawler!

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Sun Jan 11, 2004 11:40 pm

Chris I' sitting here laughing I don't know whether your reasponse was sarcastic or serioius but oh lord that is the funnies thing I've heard in a long time, thank you!

TelegramSam · Post by **TelegramSam** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 2:07 am

Originally posted by Crawler
Fourth, Kurt is lonely and susceptible to crushes. Well, crushes are pining. And they make your stomach feel funny. Therefore, logic suggests that Kurt has piney insides and that any escaping gas would carry the scent.

OMG, that is the funniest damn thing I've seen all day. A winner is you!

SheCat · Post by **SheCat** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 3:06 am

What started as a giggle with the first post expanded into a huge roll-on-the-floor laugh!

And Steve, lighten up, man.

Gaz · Post by **Gaz** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 3:40 am

Wow. Just wow......

Sometimes, I think we are all a little too obsessed. Or maybe Chris just thinks too hard about certain subjects.....

Anyways.....um....yeah.

Originally posted by Bamf Bunny
"Nightcrawler didn't catch the last remark, but if he had, he wouldn't have thought anything of it. There wasn't a joke or comment that could be made about the byproducts of his power that he hadn't heard already. Some of them actually made him laugh. Regardless, he always made it a point to smile. Grace in adversity was an article of faith with him."

Chris Claremont, in the X2 novelization.

Bunny, what was the 'last remark' that was made? Just curious....

Danke

Shadow_Dancer · Post by **Shadow_Dancer** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 3:45 am

*picks self up after ROFL*

It seems to me that some of you have a leeetle bit too much time on your hands.

Sussi · Post by **Sussi** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 9:23 am

Just got to say that this is the most... intresting... topic ever!

Maybe his teleports smelly because he farts just as he teleports?...

...Maybe he only CAN teleport if he farts...

just a thought...

sapphirescimitar · Post by **sapphirescimitar** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 9:47 am

Just thought about reading this thread NOW. Damn my not finding it earlier. Hilarious, though!

Anyway, to make a serious comment, I hardly think anyone could fart fresh pine smell. I don't know, I sure haven't. *tries* Nope!

To be quite honest, I remember learning that fart had no colour. However, I can check that. *tries* Well, it's clear, if one can count that as a colour. So, sure! Kurt's fart has a colour: Clear.

Not sure why it would neccessarily be yellow fart, in particular... If one believed his fart would be teleport-like, would his fart not be the same colour as the teleport smoke?

Also, would his fart not smell of brimstone smoke, if one believed his fart was like a mini teleportation?

I am pretty sure that the hair on Kurt's butt makes no difference as to what his farts would sound like. Has anyone heard a cat fart? It sounds like a normal one. Anyway, the cat has a hairy butt, as well, and the cat makes no different sound. Although, if you think about it, the area around the hole of the butt wouldn't be hairy, but like regular skin, I believe. *holds up cat's tail* Yup.

I think the smoke coming out of Kurt's mouth and nose may have been for effect. I hardly think when he farts that smoke will come out of his butt. That is, if he does fart, and I hardly see that being added in the comics or cartoons or where ever. However, that would make to be a funny fan fic... May just work something out...

About him bamfing when he farts... Well, that's just absurd. Does he not teleport when he thinks about it, when he wants to and mentally tells himself to? Farting is involuntary, therefore a bamf-fart would be involuntary as well, and his teleportation is voluntary... Am I not correct in this?

Anyway, my conclusion is that Kurt cannot bamf when he farts, his being furry has no relationship in the sound he makes when he farts, his farts are clear, as are everyone else's and they also smell like a normal fart, and not like fresh pine.

Even though C's response was so much better than mine, I had to reply... Besides, what I'm saying is correct... And I have proof! :andrew

Tatu · Post by **Tatu** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 4:05 pm

Hey! Since he teleports brimstone, and if he maybe farts it, what do you think would happen if you lit a match?! and since he bamfs and it has a purplish smoke, if his farts are the same, you think he gets purple underwear stains?!

taekwondodo · Post by **taekwondodo** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 4:35 pm

Oh boy, did I need this to start my day! ROFLMAO. Purple stains in his boxers, poor guy. If that were the case, I'm sure he'd have a large supply of black shorts to hide the evidence.

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 5:43 pm

Well I"m getting a much bigger appreciation of the question out of this then I thought I would wow. ANyways..Chris what you said still cracks me up and I think we've all made some good points. Now we just need to ask Dave what he thinks...or Chuck.

Lauren · Post by **Lauren** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 5:46 pm

What...I..confused...brain...melting...

Northstars Love · Post by **Northstars Love** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 5:59 pm

:ick Bamfman, you're too funny starting this thread! Of course if I was around Kurt when he farted I'd..I'd..I'd..

Chris Pine Sol and Chili Burgers:?

At SDCC please don't attempt this again . I'll be watching you!

This reminds me of that old Avon joke about beans and Pine Sol.

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 8:06 pm

I wonder if anyone notices it when Logan farts? Or if they just plain expect it.

*fffttt*

BLUE_2007 · Post by **BLUE_2007** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 10:22 pm

This is the funniest thing I've heard in a while! Do you realize what you've done? I'm going to be in Spanish class tomorrow wondering if Kurt's farts are piney fresh!

Also: I'm sure EVERYONE notices when Logan farts, they're just too scared to point it out...

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Mon Jan 12, 2004 10:49 pm

-hey! who farted!?

-not i
:cyke- Oh now honey why would i?

- nope I save that for Charles' office

-hey just cuz it's brimstone doesn't mean anything stop looking at me

- I'm presently iced over.
:lorna - Do I look like a farter?

- ....'scuse me.

sorry just had to.

Shadow_Dancer · Post by **Shadow_Dancer** » Tue Jan 13, 2004 3:01 am

Thank you Bamfman!

I was in a very bad mood and this was so entertaining, once I picked myself off the floor I felt much better.

Ever think about a career in stand-up comedy?

Ult_Sm86 · Post by **Ult_Sm86** » Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:43 pm

Eh. Yeah. No one ever gets my jokes though they're always suttle. I think I might want to write comedy books or comedy scripts and maybe even be on snl (cast or writing crew) but not actualy stand up, not unless it's WITH someone else.