Preeeeesenting, the ugliest car in the world: the 2004 Toyot

Maelstrom · Post by **Maelstrom** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:05 pm

I'm serious, folks. I've seen this thing running around here in California. At forst, I thought it was some kind of joke or kit-build. This thing literally looks like someone's four year old kid designed the body. It's made up of horizontal and vertical lines only. There's a teeny tiny little slope on the windshield. Aside from that, the only curves are the tires.

Here's some of the advertising text I saw on a dealer's site:

There's simply nothing else that looks like the xB on the road. So as you drive it, expect lots of honks and waves from the people around you. and once you see what's inside they'll start getting really friendly.

Starting at $14,165 for manual

Oh, yeah, there's nothing like it on the road. MAYBE THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT??

Take a look at this little gem, folks. And make sure you arn't drinking anything, because it may make you spooge out your nose.

http://www.intellichoice.com/reports/ve ... _nmb/11194

BLUE_2007 · Post by **BLUE_2007** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:19 pm

Mistress D · Post by **Mistress D** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:38 pm

Whoah!

...Hmmm... It makes me think of a dog... Like a pitbull or something. One thing's for sure, I'd never be caught dead driving that. o_O

Gaz · Post by **Gaz** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 5:07 pm

That's pretty bad, but I still think the Hummer is the ugliest car in the world. The only thing that could make it worse is maybe if they started doing airbrushed Sean Penn portraits on the sides of the cars or something....*shudder*

Darkholme · Post by **Darkholme** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 5:49 pm

I like the idea behind the Scion line, but the XB is just...well, I wouldn't drive one either.

I have thought about the XA though...I'm going to have to check out some reviews of it...the TC doesn't look too bad either.

I'm still probably going to buy a VW Touareg or Jetta though. Midnight blue of course.

kurtlover · Post by **kurtlover** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:24 pm

yeah that's a butt ugly car, but i'm still thinking than the Aztek is the ugliest of the ugly

Northstars Love · Post by **Northstars Love** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:47 pm

Yes. That is ugly Mael. But Gaz is right . Hummers are pretty ugly too.

Here in Vegas they have limos that look like long long trucks. God I hate those! They are sooooo ugly. I'm not sure what they call them.

Maelstrom · Post by **Maelstrom** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:24 pm

Limers? Hummos? I think they're called "stretch Hummers". Sounds really obscene, doesn't it? ;pant

The worst thing about a Hummer, to me... Okay, maybe there are two "worst things":

1) The obscene price. These things literally run as much as a house. 100K. (Of course, the same could be said for the average Jaguar, but at least it looks really, realy sharp....)

2) Pathetically obscene milage. I think the Bradley gets better fuel economy than a Hummer.

I don't mind their existance in a rural area. The HUMV was originally a military vehicle, designed as the ultimate troop transport, and it does that very, very well. But nobody in all of the California Bay Area has any need for one! They're nothing but expensive, gas-guzzling, environmentally disastrous status symbols!

Now, the Scion xB? Apparently it has good fuel stats and runs literally one tenth of the Hummer. But, man oh man, is that ever damning it with faint praise....

It's just butt ugly. There's no other way to describe this car. It makes the Pinto, the Gremlin, and every other mass-produced 60s-80s piece of shit look like a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost.

NightPoofer · Post by **NightPoofer** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 9:25 pm

It looks like a shiny lego car

Pretty ugly! I wouldn't buy it, even if it were the only car I could...

Siona · Post by **Siona** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 9:42 pm

What were they thinking? "Hm...We don't have enough cars that look like boxes...or like turtles...That, and I don't think that I'm laughed at enough anymore..."

"I know!"

~Siona

Shadow_Dancer · Post by **Shadow_Dancer** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:04 pm

Blech!! :p If this is their idea of attractive, I really really hope it doesn't catch on. Who in their right mind would buy that butt-ugly car. My 4 year old nephew can draw nicer looking cars than that. I looks like a metal breadbox on wheels.

Mad With Power · Post by **Mad With Power** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:30 pm

I think it's totally freaking adorable.

I imagine it going "bzzzzzz!" instead of "vroom-vroom."

Post by **steyn** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:48 pm

Sweet hairy and grossif, that is ugly, and not the "been bobbin for fries at Miccy D's" kind of ugly, oh no, this is waaaay worse.
It brings back that old saturday box car racing memories which I never had. I swear that is an oversized breadbox with wheels.
I imagine someone in japan screamin' "OH no, Godzilla's searching for his breadbox, RUN!"
Not only that, but I think people in egypt is getting really ticked off of people stealing the pyramid's blocks and putting wheels on it.

Warbird · Post by **Warbird** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 10:50 pm

I think that the Element or Aztek still gets the crown for ugliest car ever. Toyota usually has a reason for their designs though... at least when they're that ugly. I have to give them credit for the Prius though. Has anyone seen them? They're the only hybrid car that I wouldn't be embarassed to drive. They're kinda cute, relatively inexpensive and get 60 MPG. If toyota can make cars like that, they're allowed to F* up every now and them.

Siona · Post by **Siona** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:27 pm

If we're voting on ugliest cars, Pinto takes my vote; it looks like a duck's head!

That, and the fact that if you were struck from behind, you'd blow up never really made it popular with me. :dead

~Siona

SheCat · Post by **SheCat** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:29 pm

Cll me stupid but I kinda like it. It's got that quirky "I'm an individual in a world of product replacements!" sense. Really cheesy.

Siona · Post by **Siona** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:32 pm

Originally posted by SheCat
Cll me stupid but I kinda like it. It's got that quirky "I'm an individual in a world of product replacements!" sense. Really cheesy.

Exactly! Just like that car commercial where everyone had cardboard boxes for cars!

~Siona

sevati · Post by **sevati** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:21 pm

Originally posted by Maelstrom
I don't mind their existance in a rural area. The HUMV was originally a military vehicle, designed as the ultimate troop transport, and it does that very, very well. But nobody in all of the California Bay Area has any need for one! They're nothing but expensive, gas-guzzling, environmentally disastrous status symbols!

Well, you can thank Governor Hassenpfeffer (what, you think I can spell his last name? Fat chance. That's German too, you can live with it) for that. He was the one who lobbied for the Hummer's civilian release; he got the first one. The good Governor also has a tank he drove in the Austrian or German army, and another army transport he drives around LA.

No one needs to overcompensate for a small penis that much.

The French Biscuit · Post by **The French Biscuit** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:40 pm

Originally posted by NightPoofer
It looks like a shiny lego car

That's it! That's what it reminds me of!

Thanks Night Poofer.

Personally, I still think those PT Cruisers are more hideous than this recent abomination.

Gaz · Post by **Gaz** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 7:36 pm

Yeah, the PT Cruisers are freakin ugly. I still think Hummers are the ultimate ugly. They take up like three times as much room on the road as other cars. They are unbelievably impractable. *stab*

The Drastic Spastic · Sat Feb 07, 2004 11:39 pm

From the description (ugliest ever, boxy) I was expecting something that looked kind of like a boxy SUV. In other words, I was picturing a Hummer.

*pathetically under-informed on vehicles*

In some ways, that car is worse, though. Look how low it rides. Ugh! I'd sooner drive a Hummer that that POS there. Basically a stupid-looking toy.

Nighton · Post by **Nighton** » Sat Mar 20, 2004 7:34 pm

:o What the drokk? That car makes me feel undescribably disgusted.

Siona · Post by **Siona** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:43 pm

OH. MY. GOD. I saw one today. *sobbing* I thought I'd be safe in Utah, of all places, but it's everywhere!

~Siona

CurlyyHairGirl · Post by **CurlyyHairGirl** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:54 pm

UUUHG!! our neighbor has one of those and it is such an eye sore. Our family calls it the chinese takeout box car cause it looks like the takeout container. My grandma calls it the 'True box car" why the heck would anyonewant to waste money on it, I want a Spyder or a nice Black Jeep, or my Dad's 150 ford Lariat supercrew and get it lifted.

Maelstrom · Post by **Maelstrom** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:32 pm

They're spreading around here, too, like some horrible creeping disease. I'd label it the automotive equivalent of kudzu, but at least the horribly invasive kudzu looks pretty. I've seen three or four different ones around here. Three (count them, three) of them are silver, and the only way I know they're different is because they have different drivers and I saw two of them within a few seconds of each other.

I know that they made fun of the ever famous 60s VW beetle, my favorite pregnant rollerskate

. They claimed it was absolutely hideous, grotesque, and a host of other things. But it had curves and a sense of the ridiculous. The only curves this sucker has are for the wheels. Everything else looks like i was planned with an etch-a-sketch.

At least the Aztek has some plastic parts to give a bit of texture and interest (as ugly as it is). And the pinto had some slopes. I have to wonder how this thing gets such good milage when it's as aerodynamic as a shoebox....

Nightscrawlers