A silly vignette with my OC

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Elfdame
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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Elfdame »

This is an experiment I did to see if I could write a vignette using only dialogue and sound effects.
[The reader should be able to draw most of this explanation from the context, but in case it's not clear enough: Elise is my OC, a tomboy sapiens who works as the cook at Xavier's Institute. She, Logan, and Kurt are best friends and call themselves the Triumvirate. She loves to give everyone nicknames; e.g. Hank is "Bones" because that's the nickname of Dr. McCoy on "Star Trek."]


"Whispers in the Dark"

"Psst. Time to get you outta here, dude."
"Ach, you're nothing more than one of Mastermind's illusions. This windowless little box of a room is surely a psionic trick. I am probably lying in an open field, cursing the fact that I'm only a line-of-sight 'porter, and –"
"Would you shut your yap and hustle. We only have a few minutes to blow this popsicle stand."
"Nein, Herr Wyngarde would never think to have you use that phrase. Genuinely Elise. What are you doing?"
"You can see perfectly well in the dark. Tell me they didn't blind you or something equally gross."
"My vision is fine, Liebchen."
"Can't you tell, then? I'm fumbling around for the locks, Oh Genius Of The X-men."
"You needn't be sarcastic."
"After all this time, you want I should change? Hold still, and wrap that tail around your leg or something. It's in my way."
"How did you get in here?"
"Surveillance computer in this part only detects mutant signatures, not sapiens. We managed to reduce the number of regular goons so the Club had to use a temp service for the party, and – shoot, should we really be having this discussion? I'm sure those people listen to every word we say."
"Danke, that is much better."
"No prob. Even a flatscan can pick a lock."
"Is that what you and 'Ro have been doing on your Girls' Nights?"
"Well, we haven't been trading makeup tips, silly goose. Thought I'd learn something practical. Now here I am in the business of saving the damsel-saver."
"Excellent job. However, surely someone would notice a healthy girl like you wandering the hallways."
"La-ti-ta, so far nobody pegged me. Came in with the catering staff, duh. The Professor did some kinda psi-shield thingy too. Don't need to get all technical. Besides –"
"Ah, how good it is to stretch my legs again! Und you walked in right under their noses."
"Hel-lo! Are you sure they didn't sabotage your night vision? Like, I'm wearing makeup? And I'm a redhead for the evening? Quit snickering or I'll tie your tail in so many knots, you could use it for a rosary!"
"Stop hissing at me. I swallowed wrong. I still can't believe they sent you."
"Gotta problem with being rescued, Furball?"
"Not at all."
"This last lock's giving me some trouble. Don't flinch – I told you not to move. Augh."
"It did not hurt much."
"Well, I don't feel any blood. Hold still."
"Thank you for coming to save me. Doesn't that deserve a kiss? - oof! – That was most unnecessary."
"Toldja a bazillion times, don't act like I'm a girl. Can you move your hands, or were they tied up too long?"
"I am fine."
"Great. Let's get moving."
"Ahem. If you were an ordinary damsel, I would kiss you in gratitude. However –"
"You can move faster by sight than I can by memory, so lead on. Take your hand off my shoulder and march in front."
"Very well, then."
"What's so funny?"
"Even in this pitch black corridor, I can see your smile. It is full of fondness."
"Whatever. Besides, if Wolverine came to save your scrawny carcass, would you try to kiss him?
"You smell much better than he."
"Garbage trucks smell better than Logan."
"Point taken. Hold on to my hand – I feel a slight drop in the incline."
"You'll try any excuse, won'tcha, Casanova? I mean, really – Whoa! – Oh, my – that was definitely quite a spill we took. My bad for suspecting you. ... There, happy?"
"Ja. A peck on the cheek is better than nothing."
"Beter than a kick in the rear."
"You are so sentimental."
"Look, I came here alone in the dark to help you get out, not to make out with ya. Now, help me out. But don't let go of my hand. I think there are more drop-offs to come. And maybe a trap or two. As usual."
"Jawohl, Fraulein. I live to obey."
"You live to irritate me. But I love it."
"I know."
"And, Elf?"
"Ja?"
"I missed you. Glad they were desperate enough to send me lookin' for ya."
"Und I am more grateful than words can express."
"For the rescue or the kiss?"
"For both. Ah, here is the exit."
"Wait. What about booby traps?"
"I am afraid this booby has been trapped too long. What do you suggest we do to sense any last-ditch barriers? I can see nothing out of the ordinary."
"Here."
"All this time you had an X-comm, and you let me lead?"
Heh, heh, heh. "It's turned off. But before we make contact, I wanna tell ya something."
"Such as, my fur is on fire?"
"Har har. I think you'd know that before I would. Anyway, I may not be into kissing, but I did enjoy following you and holding your hand."
"You closet romantic!"
"Don't get any ideas, Circus Boy. Just meant it was good to have two-thirds of the triumvirate together again. 'Sides, we still gotta figure how to open up a door or something."
"7, 2, 3."
"Was gescheiht? <What's happening?> Hank, is that you?"
"I've listened to the entire exchange, my intrepid associates, and found it most profitable for apprehending insights regarding the interior workings of our venerable cook's psyche. By the by, egress may be achieved through use of an invisible keypad, whose code is 7,2,3."
"If it's invisible, ya big blue Barney, how is 'Crawler supposed to find it?"
"It should be two point six meters up from the floor, two point six meters from the western corner."
"As if we have any sense of direction in here. You start at that corner, I'll take this one. Thanks, Bones."
"Think nothing of it. All external defenses have been disarmed. Once you depart, Northstar will ferry you to our rendez-vous. McCoy over and out."
"The gall of the man. Spying on us. Why are you giggling, Elise?"
"You're so funny. Getting all lovey-dovey just 'cause we were alone in the dark. Bus-ted!" Hee hee hee.
"You are impossible."
"Am not. Flying lobsters, now that's impossible. At least, I think so. ... You still there?"
"Ja."
"Got awful quiet. Oh, rats. This obviously wasn't the western corner."
"I shall continue to consider you my friend. Despite this little deception."
"What? Coming incognito to save your butt?"
"Eureka!"
"And here I thought you only spoke German when you got excited."
"No, I've found it."
"Didn't know you'd misplaced your butt."
Sigh. "The keypad. What was the code?"
"I'll tell, if you promise never to kiss me."
"7, 2, 3."
"Doggone your memory. "
"I was hoping you might whisper the numbers in my pointed little ear."
"Finally! Here we are. Be careful, Jean-Paul, he's in a kissy mood."
"Perhaps I should have remained a prisoner. It was certainly less annoying than being rescued by you lot."
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by neling4 »

Nice! At first I thought that was Logan rescuing Kurt, while wearing a red wig and makeup, then I went back and read your intro. LOL!
R.I.P. Nightcrawler. 1975 - 2010

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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Elfdame »

Thanks. I am glad it made you laugh, even with mistaken identity. Of course, now I simply *must* steal the idea of Wolverine pulling a Milton Berle (google it, kiddies, I'm too old to bother explaining) and stick it in the saga.

I sent it to a couple of friends (X-geezers like myself) and they understood it. Maybe because they've suffered thru several Kurt and Elise stories already. I just enjoyed writing them verbally poking each other. My favourite line: "Garbage trucks smell better than Logan." That alone was worth writing the piece.
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Phoenixincarnate »

im not the only one with an Oc... yeessssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apolgize for any spelling mistakes, Its kinda hard to type in a straitjacket...
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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Dedicatedfollower467 »

Heck no. Everybody's got OCs. Great tale, Elfdame. I've been wanting to read this for a while... My friend stared at me when I laughed out loud at "Garbage trucks smell better than Logan." That was an AWESOME line.
~Def.
"A dedicated follower of nothing." -- graffitit artist in Brick Lane, London, England.
Right across the lane from the demon and just down the wall from Wolverine.
RIP Kurt Wagner. You were the character who brought in me into comics, who introduced me and inspired me. Now your death has sent me away again. Wherever you are in the Marvel Universe, I hope its someplace pleasant.
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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Phoenixincarnate »

tis true... tis true...
...PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apolgize for any spelling mistakes, Its kinda hard to type in a straitjacket...
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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by wingyding »

Trust me, Phoenix, you ain't the only one. At current count I have four completely original characters, two halfway, and....more than I care to count that are abbreviated or departed from canon.
Neither Love nor Evil conquers all, but Evil cheats more.
Important Lessons Learned from the X-Men: Never give indestructible metal claws to something that doesn't die when you shoot it in the head.
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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Phoenixincarnate »

I have... i lost count...
...PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apolgize for any spelling mistakes, Its kinda hard to type in a straitjacket...
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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Elfdame »

Raven Hare's is AWESOME. "The Gypsy & The Devil" at ff. And really a lot of the folks here have made great OC's for Kurt.

One of the recent threads (last couple months) had a long discussion about how so many of the Elf's canon ladies are a bit on the wimpy or undesirable side. So it's only natural to want to create a well-rounded (not in the sense of mammary glands, gents!) female for him.

And thanks, gals, for the encouragement. I never imagined anyone else would want to read my fanfic drivel, but one day as a challenge to myself I posted some and the kind responses convinced me that at least a few folks might enjoy it.

~ ~ ~

I'll take advantage of this resurrected thread to pimp another ficlet with Elise in it.
If you don't want to take the time to read it, no hard feelings.

If you do, remember that my OC cook is a total tomboy. Doesn't OWN a dress, etc.


" A Beastly Encounter"

Rogue winked at Kurt as she gave him a cardboard box and asked him to take it to the kitchen.

That should have been a tip-off.

But he had just returned form a debriefing in the Professor's office of the X-men's latest mission, and his mind was on a slimy entity which had been quite difficult to reason with, much less clean off his boots. The Southerner's subliminal body language flew past his notice.

Until he entered the kitchen and almost dropped the container in response to what he saw.

"Say one word, Elf, ONE WORD," Elise spat through gritted teeth, "and you will heartily beg to die rather than live to regret it."

"Um," he stammered, "I have this box of ...of .." the nature of its contents evaded him; it had been thrust into his hands before he thought to question the errand.

She waved him to a square wooden table, usng her spatula as a pointer. "Over there will be fine." A fragment of a smile broke on her face. "And thank you for helping."

"No trouble at all," he said. Although his survival instinct told him to look away –better yet, run away – he couldn't pull his gaze from his friend. And her odd attire.

"Want some cookies? I made three different kinds." The cook held out a platter with mouthwatering goodies piled high. Kurt's stomach reminded him that it would be a while until dinner, and that the sandwich he'd scarfed on the Blackbird was eaten in such haste that it barely registered.

Dare he face her wrath for a mere snack?

Of course. This was his best friend, the girl of whom he was most fond, not some unreasoning monster or egomaniacal madwoman intent on wiping mutants from the face of the earth. But at times, facing either of those types was preferable to a nuance-frought encounter with Elise.

Cookies. Must have cookies. Three kinds, and all of them bulging with chunks of delightful surprises.

Surprises. He couldn't hide his shock at seeing her in ... that ... frilly ... apron.

"Sit down, Furball. I won't shoot ya." A wry smirk interrupted her spiel. She slapped the cookie tray on the island and drew a stool up to it. "Go on, give your tired feet a rest."

"Are you sure I'm not, er, interrupting something?"

A sigh escaped; she plunked down on another chair as Kurt perched on the stool, his tail tracing sinuous curves through the rungs. "You're obviously dying to ask, so here's the scoop," she said, placing five large cookies on a napkin before him, "I lost a bet, okay?"

"But Logan was with us."

"Yeah, yeah, this was with Bones. Said he thought I couldn't sing Tom Lehrer's 'The Elements' with the elements listed backwards." She munched an almond toffee bar, taking her time. "And I would have succeeded, too, but he slapped me."

Kurt sat bolt upright. This was news! "Hank? Our dear Beast? Surely not!" The crumbs stuck in his throat at the very thought.

"He said he was swatting a horsefly, but I think he was secretly afraid of having to wash the windows of the bell tower."

"He has no fear of heights." The story was getting interesting now, if only he could keep her revelations coming. That woman could lock up tighter than a bank vault if one approached her the wrong way.

"Yeah, well, doing it with diaper wipes and dressed in this apron made the deal a bit less attrractive," she smirked.

Should he laugh, or empathize? The stack of five cookies had dwindled to a few morsels, and an incorrect judgement might bring the largesse to an abrupt halt. Definitley not "it doesn't look so bad on you," or even "How long must you wear it?" nor "I feel so sorry for you." What to say? Ah, how about –

"Only you could carry it off with such aplomb, Liebchen."

The room was silent as a morgue; his eyes were riveted on her facial expression which went from stony to softening to smiling. "Poor Elf, afraid I'd bite his little blue head off," she said, shoving the platter toward him and rising to pour him a tall glass of cold milk. "It IS embarassing, but in a way it's worth it." She leaned in as a conspirator would. "Everybody's so freakin' afraid to mention it, kinda fun to see 'em all tiptoeing around trying to pretend they don't notice. Only two more days and I'm gonna use it to start a bonfire!" she announced, settling back into her chair and sending him a huge grin.

So, all was well. His friend was still full of surprises, and he hadn't lost his head. In fact, the marvelous cookies kept coming, proof that she did miss him when he had to leave.

Life was good.
"Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton." From Chapter 9 of _Brother Odd_ by Dean Koontz / from Chapter 10: "Life you can evade; death you cannot."

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A silly vignette with my OC

Post by Dedicatedfollower467 »

:D Glad you posted this. It's hilarious. "Logan was with us..." He immediately assumes that the only person Elise could've lost a bet with was Logan...
~Def.
"A dedicated follower of nothing." -- graffitit artist in Brick Lane, London, England.
Right across the lane from the demon and just down the wall from Wolverine.
RIP Kurt Wagner. You were the character who brought in me into comics, who introduced me and inspired me. Now your death has sent me away again. Wherever you are in the Marvel Universe, I hope its someplace pleasant.
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