Heaven Leaves Shadows (Chapters 1 through 8)

[CurlyyHairGirl]

Hee hee, that was a mighty fine addition to my prescription*I have a thirst for fixs*

[SheCat]

Rogue’s Interlude - Some Things are Better Cold

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“The first thing you should know about me is that I am not and was never a morning person.” ~Rogue

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I think I need to get out now.

It’s really late out. My vision is still blurry from just waking up, so I can’t read the clock. The damn cat decided to sleep on my face and I woke up spitting fur. I’m ready to just kick the furball out, no matter what Lorna says. I hate that thing.

There’s a large pile of blankets on the other bed. Gee, I wonder who that is. Or if he’s even under there. I honestly can’t tell.

God, I want a coffee flavored milkshake right about now. Is Baskin Robbins open? I don’t know or care, so I slip off my nightgown and put on some jeans and a sweater. I was thinking about going out in a T-shirt or something light just to tick Remy off, but even I know it’s cold out there. The sweater has some god-awful teddy bears stitched into it. I must have gotten it for Christmas or something, because there’s no way in hell I’d ever buy it myself.

The gloves. Black ones, the ones I keep by the bed just in case. I put a bandanna on just for a wilder feel and wonder if ice-cream shops have “No shoes, no shirt, no service” policies. What the hell, I just stuff on some boots and wonder if Remy would be mad or just terrified if I left the window open. Deciding against it, I close the door as I leave the room. From the muffled snoring I’m hearing from under that mountain of covers, he’s still asleep in there.

Walking down the halls, I remind myself to tell Scott to get his damn shoes out of the hallways. A few days ago Remy tripped on them and went down the steps, and God only knows if he’ll suddenly declare himself afraid of stairs.

Maybe I should ask Kurt to come too. He’s usually up at this time.

Never mind. I need some time alone anyway.

The night air is very refreshing, life stepping out of a warm, damp shell into cool, dry place. Like walking around without gloves. It’s a bit cold out; I should have brought a scarf or something. My neck’s bare, soft, cold and vulnerable, and I don’t really like that feeling.

Flying is a relief, though. It’s freedom. I take off my gloves and bandanna when I’m up high and look down on the city, shining like it’s mirroring the stars. There’s something incredible about seeing the city lights from this high up, all those little golden specks like grains of glowing sand.

I fly on down to the Baskin Robbins and hope nobody saw me. After checking that I’m not going to get hit by any cars, I land in the drive-through of a Starbucks by the little machine that takes your order. Before I walk in, I put my gloves and bandanna back on.

The person behind the counter looks like she could really use some sleep right now.

“Could Ah have…?” My eyes dart up to the board. “Could Ah have a Mocha Swirl Twist?” I finish. She looks at me blearily and nods, and I realize just how odd it is to be ordering ice cream at one a.m. Then again, they’re the geniuses with the twenty-four seven policies.

While she’s getting it, I sit at one of the tables next to the freezer and tap on the table (conveniently decorated grey-white, blue and purple with a gaudy pink border). It’s cold next to the freezer, and I’m so damn sick of it being seventy degrees in the mansion. I go back up and grab my food, pay her, thank her kindly and all that, then come back.

I take a long gulp and relish it. It’s ice-cold.

Dear God, what am I supposed to do now? Winter doesn’t end for another few months. Remy staying inside all day and night is driving me crazy! Nobody else seems to mind or notice, except Jean, and that was probably because she was taking a stroll through my head. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s not really getting any worse, just staying the same and not getting any better. It’s like a dripping tap in the middle of the night. It doesn’t get louder, but it keeps you up and drives you out of your mind.

What can I do? I ain’t no time-traveler, I ain’t no brain-washer, and I sure as hell ain’t no angel. I’ve made my mistakes, and I’ve fucking apologized for them. Those apologies took more out of me than I thought they would, and it’s still not enough, and it can never be enough. I’m not even going to pretend it can be enough. It can’t.

I use a spoon to get the bottom out. Hell, it’s just melted, tan liquid now. I go and order another.

I’m not a helpless person. But sometimes, I don’t know what to do anymore.

After getting a pre-packed quart of rainbow sherbet (Bobby’s favorite), I go out onto the curb and watch this group of teenagers. They think they’re real hot shit, breaking their curfew and playing the stereo in the middle of the night. One of them sees me and points. I ignore him and walk down the street, waiting until I’m out of sight to fly away.

I can only spend so much time in the air before the ice-cream melts, but I use my time to make a complete idiot of myself diving and looping in the cool night air. It’s fun, it’s free, and nobody is there to see. Nobody there to touch, nobody there to hurt.

I float and land on the barely snowy lawn, making sure to stop flying about three feet off the ground so I stumble and fall over. Laughing, I wonder why the hell I feel so giddy, and I guess it must be a bad mixture of solitude, the dark, cold ice-cream against my breast and falling on the lawn.

Smiling devilishly, I open the top of the sherbet and run my finger over the top, getting a big glob. It’s still freezing cold slithering down my throat. Twisting the top back on, I grin to no one.

Some things are just better cold.

[Lauren]

grrrr *smacks uncaring Rogue* He's messed up because of you you stupid bitch! *whacks her again for good measure*

[SheCat]

You make me laugh, Lauren!

But she wants to move on! Actually, this refers to the Gambit LS II issue #16..."I'm ready to move on, but I can't do it without you." Rems said that one.

I'm so happy you got into it. I want to slap Rogue constantly too.

[Lauren]

well it's easy for her to want to move on! she was never left to die by someone who really love her now was she?! HUH?! HUH?!

[SheCat]

Jeez, I thought I was the over-protective Remy fanatic. Resolutions someday, I guess.

[desaa]

YAY EMILY IM BACK *almost falls out of seat * MY GOD LOOK AT ALL YOUR POSTS!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!:eek