Lauren's Stories!

[Lauren]

Author’s Note: Masturbation jokes are in here due to a challenge. Mmm hmm…

***
Kurt was taking a shower.

Now this wouldn’t be a big thing for Logan, except that he needed to go in there and borrow some of his soap for his own hair and showed in his own room. He tried knocking on the door, but for some reason Kurt didn’t hear him.

Growling softly, Logan slowly opened the door and he stepped into Kurt’s bathroom. He went up to the medicine cabinet and he looked around for the soap that was with everything else in there.

He cocked an eyebrow when he heard Kurt moan behind the shower curtain.

Frowning slightly, Logan cocked an eyebrow and looked at the curtain.

“Mmmm…” Logan opened his mouth to say something when Kurt said something that forced his mouth shut. “Logan…”

What in the hell was the Elf doing in there?

Logan grabbed the curtain and pulled it back, and he and Kurt both screamed as he closed the curtain and ran out of the room.

Kurt had been yanking his crank!

Logan couldn’t help but sit down on Kurt’s bed and laugh out loud at this. Not only had Kurt been beating one off, but also had been doing it while thinking of him! This was just too priceless!

Kurt came out of the bathroom sheepishly, a towel tied tightly around his waist.

“Uh, Logan?” he asked.

“You were choking the chicken!” Logan laughed. Kurt’s cheeks turned violet as he bowed his head.

“Do you think you could stop shouting that so loudly?” he asked timidly, hugging his tail slightly. Logan smiled slowly, and Kurt gulped softly.

“You want me to keep this quiet?” Logan asked. “You’re going to have to pay me big time!”

“How much?” Kurt asked.

“I’m not talking monetary payment, Kurt.” Logan said evilly. Kurt whimpered softly, his tail curling between his legs at the look on Logan’s face.

***
“Kurt?”

“Yes, Bobby?”

“Are you wearing a French maid outfit?”

“Yes, Bobby.”

“And are you cleaning up Logan’s room?”

“Yes, Bobby.”

“On your hands and knees?”

“Yes, Bobby.”

“With your toothbrush?”

“Is there something that you wanted from me?”

“Nope, just wondering.” Kurt growled as Bobby walked away from the wide open door where everyone could see him.

“When this is done I’m teleporting Logan’s head off!” he snarled.

[CurlyyHairGirl]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA:*D OH MY GOD!!!! THAT IS PRICELESS!!! Ohooh you cause my side such pain, ny queen.

[Mistress D]

Oh my GOD! This is TOO funny!!! *tears of mirth pouring down face* Thank you sooooo much, Lauren sempai! :bow You are truly the queen of fanfiction!

[SheCat]

First, I'd like to apologize. I've been missing-in-action from here for a while and haven't gotten to read your stories. I'm so sorry!

Well, I really think this one is hilarious. You've improved in sentence structure too - great variation. And the last part was just...just...

Anyway, I'm so sorry I haven't been reading your stuff!

[Lauren]

Yeah Shecat! you missed my crowning and all my new nicknames! meanie!

[Lauren]

Brother Vogel was a monk from a monastery near the village of Winzledorf. He was a young man, serious in his holy duties. He was everyone’s favorite monk, due to his kind and gentle manner with every living creature in the world.

He had been collecting some herbs for the infirmary when some of the berries he was picking popped and stained his fingers purple. He went over to a nearby river, which was fed by a waterfall a few miles away.

Stooping over, he dipped his hands into the cold water and he started to wash off the juice from his hands.

That’s when he heard the beginnings of a child crying. The sound sputtered for a moment, and then it started to wail and cry for mother’s milk and care. Lifting his head, Brother Vogel looked around, trying to find the source of the sound.

Finally, he found a tiny basket on the side of the river further down, its further travel having been stopped by a tree branch that stretched over the water. Wading into the water, Brother Vogel picked up the basket and brought over to the land before he sat down and pulled the blankets away to see the child inside.

He couldn’t help but gasp softly when he saw the tiny blue furry face that was waiting inside. The child looked like a demon, with glowing eyes and spaded tail.

Slowly, Brother Vogel took the child out of the basket and he held it in his arms, rocking it slowly to hush it as he thought about what to do with him. The child soon fell silent, staring up at him as it sucked on its tail tip lightly. Brother Vogel smiled, and he knew that he was going to bring the child back to the monastery, even if it looked demonic. Looks were always deceiving.

But he was worried about what Brother Zimmer would say to the Abbot when he returned with him. If it was up to Brother Zimmer, the Inquisition would still be in effect, and anyone who wasn’t Christian was condemned to the foulest bowels of Hell on sight alone.

Brother Zimmer would definitely have something to say about this child coming into the monastery, but Brother Vogel was not going to just leave him here to perish from exposure. He would just take the child to the Abbot right away, before Brother Zimmer could get to him first and try to talk him into sending the child to its death.

Placing the child back into the basket, Brother Vogel slung his bag of herbs over one shoulder and held the basket in both arms as he headed back home.

***
Brother Zimmer saw Brother Vogel and the child first and ran right to the Abbot.

“The child is an abomination!” he said. “I saw it with my own eyes, Father Abbot. It had eyes that glowed and it even has tail and fur! Brother Vogel has brought a thing of evil into our holy sanctuary!” Before Abbot Zelig could say anything, Brother Vogel showed, holding the child in a small bundle of cloth in his arms.

“This place is a holy sanctuary.” He said. “The child is not a demon, and he needs us to protect him. I found him in the river, and it is most likely that the woman who gave birth to him was killed because of his looks.

“She was probably killed because she was a witch and her child was a demon.” Brother Zimmer countered. “Father Abbot, you cannot allow this thing to live in the monastery with everyone else. It will make this place just as tainted as it clearly is.”

“The child is a he, Brother Zimmer.” Brother Vogel pointed out calmly. “Not an it as you keep calling him. What would be the harm in taking him in and raising him in our Order?”

“We would risk damnation from the Lord if we did!” Brother Zimmer said. Brother Vogel shook his head, holding the child out to Brother Zimmer. Brother Zimmer recoiled, as if Brother Vogel had offered him some kind of poison.

“Look at him!” Brother Vogel insisted. “Does this look evil to you?” The child had been sleeping when he was brought into the Abbot’s chambers. He woke up, murmuring softly as he looked around at everyone with his golden eyes. He looked up at the Abbot and laughed, holding out his hands to him.

“Father Abbot…” Brother Zimmer started.

“There is one way to see if the child is evil or not.” Abbot Zelig said finally. Taking out his Rosary, Abbot Zelig held it out to the child, the metal Cross dangling in front of his tiny three-fingered hands. The child laughed and grabbed the Cross, putting it into his mouth and gurgling up at the three men.

“There is your proof, Brother Zimmer.” Abbot Zelig said, smiling as he let the child keep the Rosary to play with. “He did not scream, did not wail, and he has not burst into flames. The child is clearly not a demon from Hell. Brother Vogel, I expect to take care of him and raise him properly.” He added.

“I will, Father Abbot.” Brother Vogel nodded. Abbot Zelig smiled and nodded a bit.

“I know you will. Now if you’ll excuse, I will get the baptism ready for tonight.”

Brother Zimmer watched Brother Vogel leave in anger, clenching his fists at his side tightly. That child would be trouble for them, and he was going to prove it one way or another!

***
The child was christened Kurt Willibald, after Saint Willibald. He grew up to prove Brother Vogel right, being one of the most peaceful members of their Order. He grew up handsome, his high cheekbones and aristocratic nose giving a kind of hint as to his lineage, despite the fact that he was blue with deformed hands and feet with a prehensile tail that ended in a spade.

One of his closet friends was a boy who was brought in at the age of seven, the same age as himself at the time. The boy was Christian Vollehen, and the two became close friends after they were assigned the same dorm room.

Kurt learned early to stay away from Brother Zimmer. He learned this the hard way, acquiring a small scar on his right hand from being hit with a wispy switch for trying to help him gather carrots from the garden. Brother Zimmer became bitter every day he saw Kurt in the monastery. He tried all he could to prove Kurt a demon, even go so far to taking something from others rooms and placing them in Kurt’s rooms.

His plan backfired however, due to Kurt’s reaction to being accused of stealing from the brothers. Instead of shouting and denying it, Kurt returned the things, saying that even though he did not remember taking these things, he was sorry for any kind of trouble he had caused. Everyone accepted this, and Kurt was only put on a week’s fasting, which he went through with ease.

When Brother Zimmer tried to plant things on Kurt again, Christian caught him and he was given two weeks forced fasting for trying to hurt Kurt’s reputation.

Brother Zimmer was starting to think that nothing would make the Abbot throw Kurt out in disgrace, or make him hated by the other brothers.

If he was going to get rid of Kurt, he needed to go to the common people in the village nearby. If they had been able to kill Kurt’s mother, then they would need to finish the job and kill the mother as well.

***
He ran into the village, his habit torn and ripped apart as he shouted for help. When the people ran up to help him, he said that a demon had invaded the monastery, sending him away because he was the only one who tried to fight him off. He said that everyone in there had become corrupt and were servants to the demon who would try to take over the village and enslave its people soon enough.

The people got ready for war.

***
Kurt didn’t understand what was going on.

It was time for afternoon meditation and prayer when he and the others heard people outside of the gates, screaming for the demon’s release into their hands. Christian quickly took him and they hid in the attic just as the people charged into the monastery, holding the monks captive and screaming for them to release their demon leader.

Kurt had tried to run out when he heard them beating Brother Vogel, but Christian immediately grabbed him and pulled him back.

“Don’t go out there!” he said. “They’ll kill you if you do!”

“They’re going to kill the Brothers!” Kurt cried.

“We have to stay here!” Christian insisted, despite the fact that both he and Kurt were starting to sob as they heard the mob smashing and breaking whatever they found, telling the Brothers to hand over the demon before they killed someone else.

Abbot Zelig tried to talk to them, telling them that there was no demon here and that they needed to leave this holy place before they tainted it with their violence and murder.

They tortured him to death in front of the monks, shoving stained glass into his eyes and under his fingernails before death released him.

The people said that if the demon was not handed over soon, they would burn the whole monastery down with the monks inside. They refused however, praying to drown out the angry shouts and screaming from their brothers who were being killed.

Kurt rocked back and forth, held tightly in Christian’s arms as he sobbed, telling him to please let him go and end this.

“If the Brothers didn’t care, they would have told them where you are!” Christian said. “Please, Kurt!”

“I have to stop this! Who else looks like a demon here, Christian?” Kurt asked. He slipped out of Christian’s grasp and he got to his feet, opening the door to the attic.

“Kurt, they’ll kill you if you go down there!” Christian said helplessly. Kurt turned around, wiping away his own tears before he wiped away his best friend’s.

“This is all my fault, Christian.” He said softly. “They’ve killed my father, the Abbot, and others because of the way I look. I need to give myself up to save this place. If that means I’m going to die, so be it.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Christian said, blinking rapidly to stop himself from crying again. Kurt was quiet, looking at his friend sadly. Reaching into the pocket in his habit, he pulled out the Rosary Abbot Zelig had used to prove that he wasn’t a demon. Taking Christian’s hand, he closed it over the beads with his own hand over it.

“Pray for me.” He said, looking at him quietly. Sniffling, Christian nodded, looking down at their hands.

“I will.” He whispered. Kurt’s tail snaked up and gently tilted his head up, and Kurt titled his head to one side, smiling at him warmly.

“It’ll be all right, mein freund.” He said softly. With that, he turned around and left the room, slipping the hood of his habit over his head. Christian fell to his knees and bowed his head, praying for his friend.

One of the stronger men had one of the Brothers by the throat, screaming in his face where was the demon when Kurt walked down the last step and cleared his throat loudly.

“Let him go.” He said. “I am the one you are looking for, but I am not a demon. I am a man, just as you are.” He pulled back his hood and showed them what he looked like.

He was grabbed with rough and angry hands and he was dragged out of the monastery and brought back to the village.

***
The Brothers were unable to leave their ransacked monastery until the next day, where they worked on burying their dead and trying to clean up the mess the people had caused.

Christian took it upon himself to go and see what had happened to Kurt the night before.

He dressed in normal clothes and took a strong knife with him to the village, having a feeling that he would need to use it on something or someone.

He was right.

Christian stood helplessly in the center of the village, staring up at the destroyed thing that had once been alive and full of love and compassion for his fellow Brothers and people.

They had tortured Kurt with no mercy, burning him with hot irons, and whipping him with metal tipped whips. His fangs were ripped out with pliers, flooding his mouth with blood as they smashed in the rest of his teeth. His feet and hands were smashed with hammers and bound with barbed wire, nearly taking off his hands from how deep it was cutting into his flesh.

Salt was poured into all of his wounds, including his eyes, which they held open to make sure they were covered in the substance.

They cut his tail off lastly and forced him to go down the streets until he reached the center of the village, all the while asking God to forgive them and the man who told them these lies about him, suspecting that it was Brother Zimmer in his heart and soul.

They finally killed him by hanging him by his tail and leaving his remains for the birds to peck at them.

Christian ignored the looks the people gave him and he gently untied Kurt’s tail from the tree and carried him back to the monastery where they buried him in the garden where they planted Bluebells around his grave and tombstone.

***
Brother Zimmer had his revenge, but it would have been Kurt who got the final justice. Brother Zimmer was walking through the forests when he heard a bird shriek overhead. He looked up sharply while still walking, and before he could stop himself, he fell down a waterfall and was dashed on the jagged rocks below.

The bird was a Blue Jay.

[Wolvertique]

You sure it wasn't brother Vogel, which is German for "bird"? I used that in one of my Beau stories, I believe...

[Lauren]

Well yeah....but it was a BLUE bird so its kinda like both got revenge

[Wolvertique]

I wasn't complaining, just pointing out something I thought was cute, hon.

[Lauren]

I know, I was just explaining while trying to make a deal with Logan for Beau.

[Wolvertique]

Hee hee. Check it out. More coming up as we speak.

[Lauren]

this is going to be the best author collaboration story ever!

[Wolvertique]

Of course! And I'm not just saying that because I'm writing it. Really.

[Lauren]

oh of course! me neither in fact! we're just being honest!

[SheCat]

Oooh...nice, nice NICE ending. And how can you figure out such cruel torture ideas? Gaw, you're evil. ;P

[Lauren]

I look it up online:D It has a lot of resources for me!

[Mistress D]

*gasp* How can you be so cruel to poor Kurt, Lauren sempai? ...Eheheh, but since I am pure evil, I loved the story. I love the detail and the flow, but there's just one little thing that I noticed... How could they hang him by his tail if they had cut it off? Heh. By the way, I forgot to comment on the Kurt druggie story in my last post. I love the way it all turned out! Wolvie is such a good guy underneath all the tough-guy attitude...

[CurlyyHairGirl]

That was very deep. Sad, yet an extremely well written story that gives people a strong look at how loyal one can be to their friends.

[Lauren]

instead of rope for hanging, they made a noose out of his tail and hanged him that way.

[Mistress D]

Ohhhhh... That makes sense. I thought you meant they had hung him upside down by it. ...Dang, they sure killed him thoughruly(sp?)... o_O

[CurlyyHairGirl]

I wonder...it is a sick tought, but when they cut his tail off, do ya think it wiggles uncontrollably like a lizrds tail that has come off?:yuck

[Lauren]

They had hurt her baby.

She walked down the sidewalk; the only light the street lamps that flicked on and off lazily. Her body swayed slightly, her eyes half open and barely active as she stared straight ahead. Her arms swayed side to side slowly, matching the sway in her crimson hair.

The few people outside watched the drunken looking white woman with the crimson hair without really watching, drunks and druggies usually coming down these streets often.

But Raven’s mind was just as sharp and lucid as if she still had her sanity about her.

She had loved her baby when he came out of her. She had hugged him gently, kissing his fur-covered brow lightly. But then the people had come, and they had tried to hurt her baby. They beat her badly before she could break away and run into the forest to escape their evil words and actions. At one point, the man who said he loved her took a club and smashed her head; snapping her mind instantly.

When she had finally escaped, she looked down at the waterfall and made her choice through her twisted mind’s sense of love. If she was captured, the bad people would try to hurt her baby, and she couldn’t have that now could she? She let her baby drop, knowing that him dying swiftly would be better than letting the bad people hurt him.

Years later, she heard that the X-men had a new member who looked like her baby, so she decided to kill some top security people and go through some computer files. The picture looked like her baby, but he was black instead of blue.

When she dug deeper, she found out why, and the sanity that was slowly starting to build up smashed apart again, and she almost forgot how to walk, let alone how to kill.

She printed out every single member of that S.H.I.E.L.D division’s information, their names, and addresses and family members and their addresses.

She was going to make them all suffer for hurting her baby.

Raven stopped when she reached the house and she slowly walked up the stairs, still moving as if she was drunk or made more out of a breeze than flesh and blood.

She tried to open the door, but it was locked, so she drew her gun and blasted the knob off as she entered, ignoring the screams that issued from the man’s wife and children from the sudden attack.

Doctor Cornelius had experimented on her baby. He had tampered with his body and changed him. He had even been the one to torture him by burning the soles of his feet until he stopped feeling the pain.

Raven decided to make him children suffer first.

She moved like a ghost, ignoring the shouting coming from Cornelius as he threatened to call the police. She shot him in the kneecap to stop him from charging at her and she kicked open his children’s room door wide open.

His wife wailed and tried to grab her, but Raven put one little bullet in her tiny brain, watching as blood exploded by the back of her head.

Oh, Cornelius had beautiful babies too. There were two of them, huddled in the corner sobbing as she smiled and entered the room, pointing her gun at them.

Their blood painted the walls in large spurts, but they did not pay for her baby’s suffering.

Cornelius was sobbing, trying to grab the phone that was hanging just beyond his reach. He asked her who she was, and why she was going this to him.

Raven slowly slipped a new clip into her gun, aiming it at his head, her face still as blank as ever.

“You hurt my baby.” She whispered, making his eyes grow wide as she shifted to her default form. “You tortured my baby and made him cry himself to sleep.” As she continued to speak, she pulled the trigger, filling his head with bullets. “You made him suffer for months from your experiments before he finally hardened his heart to the pain. You ruined my baby.”

When she was done, she dropped the gun and then walked away from the house, picking up the keys to his car on the way out.

Her baby had suffered, and Raven was going to make those sons of bitches pay with their blood.

[Lauren]

“All right, Sopranos!” the choir leader said, tapping his baton lightly on his stand. “We need to work a little more on keeping up with the Tenors! Now I want you to turn to page two hundred and we’re going to try Joyful, Joyful. All right? Now…”

“Sorry I’m late!” The leader sighed; rolling his eyes as one of his best choir singers came in and took his place, apologizing for being late the entire time. He seemed to be coming late often now, and sometimes he had “ketchup” on his hands that he needed to wash from his hands and mouth before he started to sing.

“Are we all ready now?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow slightly at the late Baritone singer.

“What page are we on?” he asked.

“Two hundred. We’re singing Joyful, Joyful and I was just about to say that I wanted the Baritones to come in a bit more gently than we originally practiced. It’s been getting a bit too overwhelming for the other parts to be heard you see. Are we ready? Good.” Raising up his baton, the leader gave the signal with a slight swish of his baton and the choir started to sing.

Their voices rang throughout the church, filling it with their harmony and beauty.

When choir practice was over, they all were in the lobby, drinking coffee and eating donuts.

“Where were you anyway?” one of the girls asked the later comer. He shrugged faintly, looking into his cup of coffee.

“I was just doing some work.” He said simply. Checking his watch, he cursed softly in his mind as he picked up his trench coat and got ready to go.

“Are you leaving all ready?” she asked.

“I have to go and do something for work.” He said.

“All right. See you next week?” she asked. He smiled and nodded.

“Of course!”

With that, Victor Creed left choir practice.

[CurlyyHairGirl]

"Mommy" was truely disurbing.....just the way I like 'em. The story seemed to be written from the point of view of a mad man or woman:evil:clap
:thumbupthe victor Creed thing was very interestin':smirk

[SheCat]

Wow, "Mommy" was just screwed up in a good way. You really are quite versatile. You can write concept, revenge, humor, parody-humor, action, emotional...I just love it.

And the Vic one was just amazing. I love it. I love it to frikken' bits. We need more Vic bits out there, God knows I love Sabes. That was really a great piece. Amazing that Vic is two people, beautiful and destroyed...