Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

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taekwondodo
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Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

Post by taekwondodo »

Just wanted to let you know that I'm enjoying this thoroughly. One of the best written fics I've come across and your interpretation of Kurt's background is one of the most fascinating and thoroughly thought out I've come across. I've been reading since you first posted, I just don't tend to have much time to comment....

Sorry to hear about your recent difficulties, hope you're out of the hospital soon - and I am thoroughly impressed that you are still turning out such great work with all that's going on in your life. Take care and I'm really looking forward to your next instalment.
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Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

Post by Saint Kurt »

Unfortunately the hospital stay isn't going that well. I am told that my keeps regectting the medication that's supposed to treat my headaches. So these last few days have been kind a blur.

I'm so glad you're likeing the story so much. It' really helped to take my mind of off the whole hospital thing.

Thanks again for all the well wishes.

-e
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Utter Silliness

Post by Saint Kurt »

"I'm tired of red and black costumes."


Amanda had her back to one of the thick poles that supported the main tent. She stuck her head out to peek around one side and then the other. She couldn't see Kurt anywhere. That was bad. She slowly backed away from the pole, keeping a wary eye as she peered into the stands.

The attack came from above and Amanda barely had time to push her mask down on to her face and parry Kurt's blade. He had been clinging to the pole above her, watching her the whole time.

"That's totally cheating!" She shouted. She lunged and Kurt hopped out of the way.

"Why do you always say I'm cheating when I'm winning?" Kurt asked. He circled around her and Amanda followed his movements, staying just out of his range. He thought about how different real fighting was from the choreographed fencing in movies. There was a lot of blade clanging in movies, but when you were actually trying to fence someone, there was more circling and staring than clanging. Except when fencing with Wolfgang; then it was a lot of having your rapier knocked out of your hand and running to retrieve it before he caught you.

They were pretty evenly matched. Whenever Amanda attacked Kurt parried and whenever he attacked. It appeared to Kurt that his best defense was offense and he looked for a way to hide for another ambush.

"Are you going to keep chasing me until you get tired?" Kurt asked. They had only been back from Father Dietrich's for two weeks and sword play seemed to be th eo

"No, I'm going to keep chasing you until you get tired." She said. She'd backed him up against the stands, but Kurt imagined he was just toying with her, waiting for his chance. Amanda jumped forward. "Ah ha!" She cried, "Prepare to meet your doom. Whoa!"

Christian suddenly appeared out of nowhere and scooped her up on his bicycle as he rode by. Amanda grabbed on to Christian with one hand and braced one of her feet against the front foot peg, balanced on his hip. He had one arm around her and pedaled lazily around the ring. She took off her mask and let it fall to the ground.

"What are you going to do now Amanda?" Christian taunted.

Kurt tried to jump in front of him. "Vile cur! Unhand my sister." He shouted and then jumped out of the way before Christian ran over him.

"She's your foster sister." Christian said.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Unhand that foster sister then." He shouted with renewed enthusiasm.

"But she was winning. I saved your ass." Christian said, still circling the ring.

"Dude, that is so whacked. I can save my own ass." Kurt said briefly switching to English and parrying Amanda's blade as they rode by.

Christian cracked up and almost lost control of the bike. "That was awesome Kurt, you even had the inflection right and everything."

"Thank you." Kurt said with a bow.

"Except, what does 'vhacked' mean?" Christian said with a grin. He slowed down to let Amanda off.

Kurt took off his mask. "I don't know. It's your made up language."

"It's not made up." Christian said indignantly, "most of California talks like that."

"Are you guys still screwing around in here?" Wolfgang asked, walking into the tent.

"Excellent." Said Kurt. "Two against one?"

Wolfgang shook his head. "Nah, one against one. I'll fence in your place while you get measured for your costume." He said.

"Okay, but I'm claiming this as a victory." Kurt said, "Here." He tossed his rapier and his gloves to Wolfgang. Wolfgang held up Kurt's gloves laughing.

"What do you want me to do with these?" He asked.

"Oops. I forgot. Those won't really work for you." Kurt said and took them back and tucked them into his belt the way he'd seen real pirates do in the movies. Kurts laughed. "At least I didn't try to lend you my pants."

"I don't know; it would be a lot easier to go to the bathroom." Christian said.

"Eww. That's disgusting," said Amanda.

"That's horrible. I'm never ever lending you any of my clothes." Kurt added, pointing at Christian as he walked outside.


Kurt ducked underneath the low hangings over Lysette's tent door. It was one of the larger ones and served as her living quarters and workspace. Inside it was dark and cool, with a thin carpet covering the power cords that ran her sewing machines. She looked up from her sketchbook when he walked in.

"Ah, how is my favorite body to drape?" She asked in French.

Kurt grinned. He had known Lysette ever since he was a baby. "I'm very well." He said. "How is my favorite body to be draped by?"

"Look at you." Lysette said, standing back and to admire the handsome teenager who had, once a upon time, fit neatly in the crook of her arm. You're all grown up." She pulled him close and kissed him on both cheeks. Kurt backed up and kissed her on the hand like he'd seen in movies.

Lysette giggled. "So romantic! You don't want to run away from the circus with me do you?"

Kurt opened his eyes wide. "You're old enough to be my mother!" he said.

She shrugged. "A woman can dream can't she?" She picked up a tape measure. "So, what are we dressing you as?"

Kurt held his arms up so she could measure around his waist. "As long as it's not red or black I don't care." He said. "I'm tired of red and black costumes."

"But you look so devilishly handsome in red and black."

"That's why I'm tired of it." Kurt said.

Lysette finished writing down Kurt's measurements. "Here, I'll show you want I'm planning." She lead Kurt over to the table where she had been sketching and laid out a few finished drawings.

"Everybody will wear the same base colors; unitards for some, looser garments for others. Shades of grey for the gypsies, shades of brown and green for you." She said, she held up some fabric samples that had subtle variations of darks and lights randomly fading into one another. "I found this fabric. I think it will add more texture than just a flat color."

"It's nice." Kurt agreed.

"Then while they're gypsies they'll accessorize with colored scarves and vests and things. When they have to switch to creatures, they'll go with the base and little props to show what kind of animal they are." Lysette pulled out a sketch showing a wolf with a basic grey unitard wearing a wolf head and fur running down the back.

Kurt nodded approvingly. "What about me?" He asked.

"I'm thinking of something like this for you." She held out a drawing of Kurt wearing a fitted tunic and tight leggings in the promised shades of brown and green.

He smiled. "I like it," he said.

"I'm glad. By the way, do you need any new clothes?" Lysette asked.

"Oh, I do. Everything is too short. I look ridiculous." Kurt gestured to his pants that were a few inches above his ankles.

Lysette gestured at a wooden chest against the side of the tent. "I've got extra fabric in there. If you pick out some you like, I'll make you a few things."

Kurt opened the box and knelt down beside it, picking through its contents. Lysette had been making him clothes for as long as he could remember. She made all of his pants and a few other things as well. Unfortunately her stock of fabrics was more suited to costumes than clothes so Kurt always tried to pick out the most tasteful colors and patterns. Still, nothing he owned ever matched and he had gotten so used to dressing like a circus performer both on and off stage that he hardly noticed anymore.

He handed a few pieces of folded fabrics out to Lysette.

"It's not Paris couture, but it will do right?" She said.

Kurt smiled. "Fashion trends change. I'm sure that in a year or two I'll be all the rage." He said. "Do you want me to send anyone else in?"

Lysette nodded. "Lars or Gretchen. I already measured Petra this morning."

"Okay. And thanks for the pants." Kurt said starting to push through her door hanging.

"It's always a pleasure. And remember my offer if you ever get tired of being an acrobat." She said smiling.

Kurt laughed. "I don't think I ever will, but if I do you'll be the first to know." He ducked through the flap and out into the bright sunshine.



Author's Note: From the moment I saw Nightcrawler's costume in X2 I knew exactly what was happening, because I do the same thing myself. As a costume builder I always have several boxes of scrap fabrics. Most of my clothes are made from the leftovers. (Hence I have pretty eclectic wardrobe. I even have a pair of stripey paints
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Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

Post by CurlyyHairGirl »

:LOLThat is sooo true!! We Californians are klike that!!

Stripey Pants ROCK!!

May Kurt never put pants on backwards.
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Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

Post by Rowena »

Oh, man! I'm so sorry to hear you've been so ill! Hospitals stink! I sincerely hope you get better soon! :)

This story just keeps getting more and more interesting and gripping and funny--not to mention intriguing! Your original characters are really cool, and their interaction with Kurt is really fun to read. I'm curious to the point of bursting to find out what you have in store for everyone!

I LOVE the fencing bits!!!!!!!

Best wishes for a speedy recovery! :D

Your Friend,
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~The Doctor, Survival

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
~The Doctor, Robot

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~Hawkeye Pierce, M.A.S.H.

Rowena Zahnrei's Stories: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/526713/Rowena_Zahnrei
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Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

Post by RavEnigma »

Originally posted by Rowena
This story just keeps getting more and more interesting and gripping and funny--not to mention intriguing! Your original characters are really cool, and their interaction with Kurt is really fun to read. I'm curious to the point of bursting to find out what you have in store for everyone!
I
You took the words right out of my mouth, Rowena, and made them sound a hecukva lot more intelligent in the process. Zam, I totally agree with her. I can't wait for more!

Oh, and I tried to call yesterday to say get well soon, but no dice, so I'll try today, when my mom isn't home. Until then, GET WELL SOON!!!!!
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Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

Post by NWKurt »

Originally posted by CurlyyHairGirl May Kurt never put pants on backwards.
LMAO:LMAO!! AAAGGGHHH!! You so silly! I like it!!

Zam, you're awesome! Keep it up! Were all thinkin' about 'cha!!

NWK
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Even Angels have Scars -- Complete

Post by Saint Kurt »

Thanks for all the phone calls you guys. That's awesome. They like, make my whole day. I think that the level of coolness of the people on this board is a direct correlation to the character - Nightcrawler was a hero, but he was a good person inside. I wouldn't expect this kind of response from say a "Punisher" fan site. :)

As far as this seemingly interminable hospital stay goes, I'm so sick of being here it's not even funny. They're trying a new medication so the plan is more me to stay out the week and then go home. I hardly wait.

I know what you mean, Rowena, at this point I have amassed a near army of original characters. (I have like, flow charts to keep track of them all.) They all have a purpose in the end...

I got a lot of writing done yesterday, so look for more posted soon!

-e
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Angels and Visitations* pt 1

Post by Saint Kurt »

"Oh, you mean you have to jump around every night pretending youre the devil? Silly me. I guess they went and changed mass again."


They were singing as the van drove through Hamburg and to the towns beyond. They had spent most of the afternoon perfecting the song. The music was James and the lyrics were Wolfgangs. Wolfgang was driving as usual, but James had turned the front captains chair around so he could face the passenger compartment as he strummed on Wolfgangs battered acoustic guitar.

"They say that dreams enter through the feet
So they recommend bare feet to sleep,
If you want Morpheus with you.

They say that trees wear their clothes backwards,
In the summer they wear leaf coats
And in the winter they take them off."

It was typical Wolfgang nonsense but James had written a very catchy melody for it and soon they had everyone singing along. Kurt jumped up and grabbed Amanda by the hands and started dancing with her while James and Wolfgang attempted to improvise a bridge and a chorus. Brin cut in as they went into the second verse.

"They say that comets are like animals,
With long and bright tails
And they gallop through the night.

They say the rug is the floor
With overgrown hair
The broom is the comb and the vacuum is the blow dryer."

He spun Brin around and putting his hand at the small of her back, dropped her in to a dip. There were some benefits to being the only male in the rear of the van. The song ended and they started it again. They were still singing it when they pulled up in front of the rectory behind St. Stephens Church.

After putting on the winter coats and hats they hadnt needed in Barcelona, they piled out of the van. The door swung open, but instead of Father Dietrich, Stephani was standing there. Kurt stopped in his tracks.

"No way! They said you couldnt be here this year." He said.

Stephani leaned against the frame and shrugged. "So, I lied." He said, "Or actually they lied. I just wanted to see your face when someone surprised you for a change."

Kurt grinned. "I am surprised! This is amazing." He turned back to Wolfgang and Amanda. "You knew all this time?" He asked.

Wolfgang shrugged. Amanda did the same.

Kurt shook his head. "I cant believe you guys. Im going to get you back for this." He said.

"For what, having your brother surprise you on Christmas?" Wolfgang asked.

"Thats right." Kurt said. "Im going to commit some random act of kindness and youll never know what hit you."

Stephani laughed and came out, hugging each of his siblings in turn. Kurt looked up and saw that Father Dietrich was now standing in the doorway.

"Were you in on this too?" Kurt asked.

Father Dietrich raised his hand. "Guilty." He said.

Once they were in the house and introductions had been made, Maria reached into her bag and pulled out two bottles of wine.

"These are for you. My cousins have a small vineyard." She said. Father Dietrich thanked her and took them, trying to read the handwritten labels. "Theyre in Italian obviously." Maria said. "This is a Shiraz. And this is a Chianti."

"We can try them one night at dinner." He said. "What do they go with?"

"Well, if you let me take over the kitchen for a night, Ill make spaghetti the right way and we can have it with that." Maria said.

Father Dietrich laughed. "Who am I to stand in the way of such an offer? Just give me a shopping list." He said. He threw all their coats over his arm and invited them into the parlor while hung the coats in the wardrobe the next room.

"Ive never been in a priests house." Brin said, looking around the room. It was comfortable, with a well-used couch and chairs facing each othersfg in the center. Bookshelves lined one wall and in the corner was a large pine tree with nothing on it.

"Very austere." James said looking at the tree. After their initial greeting at the door, the conversation was entirely in English so James and Brin could follow it.

"Well probably decorate it tonight or tomorrow." Amanda said. "Its sort of a tradition."

"Oh this is so adorable! Is this you Kurt?" Brin said, picking up a picture from Father Dietrichs side table.

Kurt glanced at it and said nonchalantly, "Nah, thats the other little blue demon kid who hangs out here sometimes."

Brin looked confused and Kurt started laughing.

"Of course thats me. Who else would it be?" He said. He took the picture and looked at it. He looked about ten years old. He was dressed in what had been his nicest clothes and crouched on one of the pews wearing a mischievous grin. "I remember this. This was taken after I was confirmed. Father Dietrich surprises me and took it when I turned to look."

"I thought it captured your spirit." Father Dietrich said walking back into the room.

"Do you to have pictures of other parishioners?" Kurt asked.

"No, but I have that one of you. And Stephani sent me this last year." Father Dietrich handed Kurt a framed photo. It was his whole family, sitting up on the branch of a large tree. Margali was against the trunk with Amanda leaning against her, one arm was casually draped around Amandas shoulder. Stephani had stood on a lower branch and leaned into the picture and Kurt was perched on a slightly higher branch, his hands folded over his knees and his chin resting on top.

"I remember this being taken." Wolfgang said. "That was the first week I arrived."

"Why is do you have pictures of just us?" Kurt asked.

Father Dietrich shrugged. "You are the ones who come for Christmas every year. I figure it makes you more like family than just part of my congregation."

"Do people ever ask about them?" Kurt asked. "I mean, about me?"

"Sometimes." Father Dietrich said.

"So, do you tell them that its Nightcrawler or Kurt Wagner?"

"Neither. I just tell anyone who asks that its a friend."

Kurt closed his eyes and smiled. He loved visiting Father Dietrich at Christmas. Even though Kurt knew he belonged with the circus, he was always happiest here.


"This is a cool church." James said. He was walking around the perimeter, following the stations of the cross, tiny plaques on the wall representing Christs final hours. Morning sunlight streamed through the stained glass. "I like the windows." He said,d

"I like it too. Its the first church Id ever been in." Kurt said. He was sitting in one of the pews, watching James.

"And Father Dietrich is a lot cooler than the priests I knew back in New York." James said.

"I guess I was lucky." Kurt said. "I realize now that his reaction to me was to be fairly unique. It could have just as easily gone the other way."

"So, do you take communion with everyone else?" James asked, sitting down in the pew behind Kurt. Kurt turned around to face him.

He shook his head. "No. I could, but I dont. I get to attend mass so infrequently; I dont want to spoil it with a bunch of histrionics." He said sadly. He pointed to the churchs second level. "I sit up there."

James looked up at the balcony. "That sucks." He said.

"Thats the strangest expression. I guess it does suck." Kurt shrugged. "But what can I do? Im used to it by now."

"Still, its a crummy thing to get used to."

"Yeah. It is." Kurt sighed and rested his chin on the back of the pew. "But, like I said, what can I do?"

The door opened and they both turned to look.

"Ah, so there you two are." Father Dietrich shut the door behind him. "Its nice in here in the morning isnt it?"

"Its always nice in here." Kurt said.

Father Dietrich looked around. "True." He said. He sat down next to James. "Maria and Wolfgang are borrowing my car to go into Hamburg. If either of you need anything, you should tell them."

James got up. "I dont need anything, but I might want to tag along and be a tourist," he said. "What about you Kurt?"

Kurt shook his head. "I think Ill stay."

"See you in a little while then." James said and left.

"You and I hardly got to say two words to each other yesterday." Father Dietrich said.

Kurt laughed. "Thats what I get for inviting so many people I guess." He said, switching from English to German. His English had gotten a lot better now that he was getting so much practice, but he wanted to have a conversation where he wasnt worried about getting the tense right or throwing in too many extra verbs.

"I dont mind all the visitors," said Father Dietrich with a shrug. "Its a nice change. I rather like being priest to a circus."

"I wish I could come visit more often." Kurt said.

"Thats funny, because Ive hoped that someday I could take a week or so off in the summer and travel around with you."

Kurt sat up straighter. "That would be fantastic." He said. "You could do that anytime."

"I will definitely try to. So, how are you?"

"Good I guess. The new show were doing is a lot of work. I have a huge part so theres a lot to remember." Kurt said.

"But you still like performing?"

"I do, but sometimes I wish I could do something else. Or at least that I had the option to."

"Such as?"

Kurt knitted his brow in thought. "Sometimes I wish I could do what you do."

"Dont you already?" Father Dietrich asked.

Kurt laughed. "No. Of course not."

"Hmm. In many ways, I would disagree."

"Oh, you mean you have to jump around every night pretending youre the devil? Silly me. I guess they went and changed mass again." Kurt said.

"Youre taking it too literally." Father Dietrich said with a laugh. "You provide a service, correct? You put aside your troubles for a few hours every evening to help others take their minds of theirs. Am I right?"

"Well, when you put it that way…Yes." Kurt said. "But you help people fix their problems."

"Do I? I can give people ideas, but only God can truly fix things."

"Id hate to imagine the kind of ideas Im giving people then." Kurt said, leaning forward to rest his chin on the pew in front of him.

"You show people that the fantastic is possible. Its the same thing I show them. That if you believe, anything can happen." Father Dietrich sat back. "Were in the same line of work you and I, whether you believe it or not."



Father Dietrich carried in the last of the dishes and set them beside the sink so Kurt could wash them. Through the kitchen door in the room beyond, the lights of their newly decorated tree twinkled.

"Youre right Maria," he said. "I had no idea what spaghetti was supposed to taste like until tonight. Or wine for that matter."

Maria laughed and picked up a dishtowel, but Kurt quickly plucked out of her hand with his tail. "Let someone else do that." He said. James took it and started drying the dishes Kurt was stacking on the opposite side of the sink.

"That was almost what spaghetti supposed to taste like." Maria said. "I still cant get it to taste like my moms. But then shes the quintessential Italian mother; always offering you food shes made from scratch."

"And by from scratch she means that they grew the vegetables themselves." Wolfgang added.

"Were the poster family for Italy I think." Maria said. "We grow our own vegetables, make our own wine, and I think somewhere I have some distant cousins that make their own cheese."

"It sounds good to me." Father Dietrich said. "I think I come from the poster family for German efficiency."

"Actually, they dont do posters any more." Wolfgang said, "Too inefficient. You get a choice of billboards or small cards to hand out on the street."

"You know, I never even imagined you having a family." Kurt said.

"No one ever does." Said Father Dietrich. "Its like people just expect priests to pop up out of thin air."

"So, being the poster child for scrawny American red-heads myself, I have to ask. Where do priests come from?" James said.

Father Dietrich laughed. "Hamburg, in my case."

"Did you always want to be a priest?" Brin asked.

Father Dietrich shook his head. "I had a choice, I could be an engineer or a doctor." He said. "I chose doctor.

"I went to university in the United States and planned on going to medical school there too."

"Thats why your English is so good. I swear, doesnt anyone go to school in Europe anymore?" Stephani said.

"Dont ask me." Wolfgang said.

"So, what happened? Did you not get into medical school?" Kurt asked, trying to get the conversation back on track. He had always wondered how one became clergy.

"No, I was a good student actually. I had to take a lot of sciences of course, and I did very well in them. The only problem was the more classes I took, the more things couldnt be explained." Father Dietrich said.

"I thought that was the point of science." Kurt said, "to explain things."

"Yes and no. You see, scientists can explain most of the phenomena in the universe, but not all. Theres always some key detail that cant be explained, but holds all of the known explainable concepts together. For instance, sub-atomic particles always come in pairs, a particle and an anti-particle. No one knows why, they just do. And its because of that pairing that matter doesnt just fly apart into nothingness.

And with each passing year scientists understand more and more about DNA and evolution. Yet we may never understand exactly how it works; even what is known seems too complex to have happened by chance. And as always, just when we think we have a grip on it, something wholly inexplicable presents itself."

"You mean me." Kurt said.

Father Dietrich laughed and shook his head. "Actually I was thinking of the nature of evolution in general Kurt, but if youd like to be inexplicable as well, thats fine with me.

So the more I learned, the more convinced I became that the world we live in would not be possible without a divine influence. It is said that science attempts to disprove the existence of God, but I would say the opposite is true. I think science shows us how miraculous Gods creation really is." Father Dietrich said. "So, I turned down Harvard Medical School and entered seminary instead."

"Wow." Said James, his eyes wide. "I think I would have gone to Harvard if given that choice."

Father Dietrich shook his head. "Im sure I would have made a fine physician, but theres a difference between a job and a calling. So, becoming a doctor was the last thing on my mind.

After I got my Doctor of Divinity, I joined the military."

"Really?" said Brin. "I cant even imagine that."

"I can." Said Wolfgang. "The German Army doesnt do any actual fighting anymore."

"Thats true." Father Dietrich said. "I never saw any combat. At that time the German military was exclusively involved in relief missions. So it was a good place to be a chaplain. And I got to travel all over Europe and Asia."

"That actually sounds pretty cool." James said.

"It was for a time. But after awhile I missed home."

"What did your family think?" Asked Wolfgang. "Military chaplain doesnt exactly fit into the model of efficiency that Germany attempts to espouse."

Father Dietrich laughed. "No. It really doesnt. And it took a my parents quite a while that is wasnt too late to go back and study medicine. Eventually they got used to it, and at the same time set their sites on my two younger brothers as future doctors and engineers."

"Are they?" James asked.

Smiling, Father Dietrich shook his head. "They became priests too." He said.



Wolfgang blew on his hands to warm them. His finger-less gloves were better than nothing, but it was still cold out. He shifted his position slightly, careful not to let his palette of oil paints drop off his lap into the snow below. He took a round bristle brush and began to lay in the back painting; a tree with broad thick branches against a background of rolling hills covered in pale snow.

Wolfgang was starting to put in the detail when he heard James walk up behind him.

"Coffee?" James asked. Wolfgang glanced up and saw his friend had a mug in each hand.

"Please." Said Wolfgang. He held his face above its steaming contents until he felt his nose start to thaw.

"What are you doing?" James asked.

"Remember when I was a painter?" Wolfgang asked.

James smiled and shrugged. "I think so. Didnt you have brushes and oil paints kind of like those?"

Wolfgang rolled his eyes.

"So what are you painting?" James asked.

Wolfgang used his brush to point to a tree standing a short ways from the rectorys rear patio. "Kurt says that every year he and Stephani sit in that tree and have a conversation."

James cocked his head. Until Wolfgang had pointed it out, he hadnt noticed them. Through the tangle of bare branches, he could see Stephani sitting up against the trunk and Kurt further out on the branch, his tail hanging down in a lazy arc. "What do they talk about?" He asked.

Wolfgang shrugged. "No idea, but they did it last year too and I didnt have my paints. So this year I came prepared."

James crouched down beside Wolfgangs easel. "You really like doing this don t you?" he said, "Being part of a circus. You never really got this close to anyone at school, except Maria that is. And Nina, before she…"

Wolfgang shook his head before James could finish his sentence and started painting again. "I do like it." He said, watching his paintbrush trace a slow lazy line of pale blue amidst the shadows of the snow. "Its like that story Father Dietrich told last night. I always thought art was my calling. I was wrong."

"But can you honestly live your entire life moving around like this?"

Wolfgang nodded. "I can." He said but his eyes saddened. "But I dont know if Maria can."

James cast his eyes down to the stone patio. "What if you had to make a choice?" He asked.

Wolfgang shut his eyes and stayed silent a long time. "I would have to let my heart decide." He said at last. "I would follow Maria."



Authors Note: Title shamelessly borrowed from a old book of Neil Gaiman thort storties.
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Post by NWKurt »

I kept my promise Zam, did find time to read this one!! And was well worth it!

Take care my friend!

:)NWK:)
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Post by CurlyyHairGirl »

:DAbsoluyely adorable! I love the part with the photo after his comformation, so sweet.
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Post by RavEnigma »

:love This is just so sweet! I kinda know how Wolfgang feels. All my life, I thought I wanted to be a marine biologist and study dolphins, but when we moved away from the ocean, and I started drawing and writing more, I realized that my true calling was to write and illustrate stories. Now I'm looking for a publisher for my first book! (insert shameless plug here) Anyway, Father Deitrich is the coolest! I wish I knew someone like him! Get well soon! BTW, did you get my message? You weren't home when I called, so I left one on the answering machine. Please write more soon!
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Post by Saint Kurt »

Thanks again for all the compliments. I think you might have called the wrong # though Rav because as far as I know, there is no answering machine.

It's: 1-773-665-3940

Anyway, just the fact that you're trying to call really boosts my spirits. I'm always telling people about this board and how welcoming and friendly everyone is. It is one of the few truly good places I've found on the internet and I tip my hat to all it's members who work to keep it that way.

I'm sure as you can tell, the overall arch of this story is about the conflict between responsibilty and passion. Do you follow your dreams or do you follow your heart.

I will post more later, but I just got a shot and I'm having trouple keepoing my eyes open. So until later - I must sign off.

ta.
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Post by CurlyyHairGirl »

Get alot of sleep, you most likely already know this, but just sitting around, let alone in a hospital, can make you frustrated and exhausted.

There is absolutely no need for you to rush. Take your time, we will be patient.

If you feel your eyes are droopy, it probably means you're not getting enough sleep. *huggles and kisses*

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Post by Saint Kurt »

It was nice talking to you tonight Rav. My mum was in the room and she was shocked to see me get a phone call from someone I knew on the internet. I told her you guys were a specail goup

Anyways, as always thanks for the well wishes. They say that raising a person's spirits is the best to heal them. It appears that you may have played
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The First Proposal

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"Say yes," James whispered back. "Please, please, please say yes."


Amidst the swell of organ music, Brin scaled the narrow staircase leading to the churchs second tier of seats. Once at the top she looked around and saw James sitting at the controls of St. Stephens giant pipe organ. He was playing Bach, one of his pieces in the major key, and the warmth of the music seemed to match the soft glow coming from the stained glass. Brin sat down and waited for James to finish.

"Kurt said I would find you up here." She said when James had played the last notes with a trill and a flourish. He turned around.

"Yeah. Isnt this old pipe organ amazing? That was the best part of sitting up here." James said.

Brin looked around quizzically. "Why did you sit up here for mass last night?" She asked.

"I felt bad for Kurt, having to sit up here all alone. It wasnt so bad really."

"You just liked sitting next to that organ." Brin said with a knowing grin.

James smiled sheepishly, caught. "That too," he said. "That looks nice on you." He gestured to the sweater that Amanda had given Brin for Christmas that morning. Brin glanced down at it and smiled.

"I like it," she said. "And I like these new rules for Christmas."

Kurt had told them that Father Dietrich abhorred Christmas as the secular gift giving holiday it was becoming; that the spirit of the celebration of the birth of the savior was being lost in the great floor of materialism that accompanied it. And so Christmas morning had been a simple affair – with only one or two presents for each of them, preferably made by the giver. Wolfgang had had the most difficulty complying, as he loved giving extravagant gifts. But he kept himself in check, presenting each one of them with a leather bound sketchbook in which he had adorned the first page with drawings and a message about what their friendship meant to him.

Brin had gotten the sweater Amanda had knitted herself and in her pocket was a slip of paper that was an IOU from Kurt for trapeze lessons, something she had been hounding him about ever since their rehearsal together.

"I like that scarf Amanda made you. Did you notice they matched?" Brin asked. She sat down on the organ bench besides James and held the scarf he was wearing, despite being indoors, up to her sweater.

"Thats perfect." James said. "Now Im wearing a little bit of you."

Brin laughed at the corny line and pretended to punch him on the shoulder.

James started playing again, but this time instead of Bach he played "When a man Loves a Woman" by Percy Sledge, belting out the lyrics with as much soul as his voice could carry. Then he switched to "Alison" by the Pixies, which sounded very funny on an organ instead of the distorted electric guitar in the original. Brin giggled.

"Have you ever seen the pipe room for a big organ like this?" James asked.

Brin shook her head.

"Come, Ill show you." James led Brin over to a narrow wooden door and turned the latch. "Its kind of crowded in here." He said as they squeezed their way in.

The center of the room had a little more space to it and James pointed out the various "choirs" of pipes, each with their precise lengths and thicknesses.

"Do you want to hear what it sounds like in here with the organ playing?" James asked.

"Yes, I bet its amazing. It wont hurt my ears will it?" Brin asked.

"Ill keep the stops as quiet as possible." James left the room and a moment later Brin was engulfed in a flood of sound. She could feel it in her bones, in her heart, and each time she inhaled it seemed that her lungs were a resonating chamber; filling with music before releasing it back into the world.

She could tell James was changing the stops as he played because beside the differences in timbres the volume changed. Finally, he played a few chords in thunderous conclusion.

"So, what did you think?" James asked when he returned.

"It was wonderful. Like getting massaged by music, especially the end" Brin said.

James looked thoughtful for a moment, "What a wonderful way to describe it. And for the end, I had no choice but to pull out all the stops."

Brin giggled. "Is that were that saying comes from?" She asked.

James nodded. "That it did. So, now Im really going to pull out all the stops."

Brin looked confused, but didnt say anything as James withdrew a small velvet box from behind him. He knelt down on one knee and offered it to Brin who stood speechless before him.

"It would be my honor to be your husband." James said.

Her eyes already wet, Brin took the box in trembling hands and opened it. It wasnt an extravagant ring at all. It looked antique and the burnished silver offset the tiny sparking diamond at its center.

"I dont know what to say." Her voice was hardly a whisper.

"Say yes," James whispered back. "Please, please, please say yes."

The tears that had been threatening to break from the bonds of her eyes, rolled down Brins cheeks. "Yes." She said; such a tiny quivering sounds, but then getting louder each time she said it, "yes. Yes. Yes!" She slid to the floor and had her lips on his in a single movement. Then they were lost in the warmth of each others bodies; exploring the fit of every limb and curve.

"I love you Brin." James said.

"I love you…" But Brins response was cut short by the sound of clapping from outside. She pushed open the door and saw the faces of Kurt, Wolfgang, Maria, Amanda, Stephani, and Father Dietrich beaming them. Brin quickly re-buttoned her blouse, hoping that maybe no one would notice the how hard she was blushing. She had been caught making out in a church once before, again with James only this time in Manhattans landmark St. Patricks cathedral, but never dreamed she would ever get caught with her blouse halfway of by a priest.

"Father Dietrich! Ummm. Im so very sorry Father." She said getting to her feet.

Father Dietrich laughed. "How about we pretend I have only just arrived? Brin, you look fine to me." Then he smiled conspiratorially at James, "But I dont think that lipstick is your color."

"Why you!" Brin gave James a playful swat while he tried to rub the lipstick off his face with the corner of his shirt. "Were you guys listening the whole time?" Brin asked.

"Kurt, you were supposed to be my look out." James said accusatorily.

"I did look out." He said. "But they have powerful methods of persuasion. And I wanted to share the good news as soon as possible."

James smiled and rolled his eyes and they emerged from the crowded pipe room and to join their friends. "I spoke to Father Dietrich and he said he could marry us this summer, when the circus plays Hamburg. Depending on you saying yes or course."

"If thats enough time for you to prepare." Father Dietrich added.

"Time!" Brin cried. "Why cant we just do it right now?"

"Unfortunately because the van is packed and its time for us to leave." Wolfgang said. He put a comforting hand on Kurts shoulder, knowing how badly he wanted to stay.

"Next Summer then. Ill make the necessary arrangements." Said Father Dietrich. "Ill keep in touch while you," he pointed at Brin and James," travel of course."

The group exchanged hugs and congratulations, but Kurt had moved off to the side. Brin walked over.

"What is it?" She asked.

Kurt sighed. "I dont want to be jealous." He said. "but I must admit I do desire for what you have. But how can I when I look like this? Like a monster?" He paused to look at his hands, a trio or overly large digits, ones that many would call hideously deformed. He clasped Brins slender hands in his. "I guess its hard for someone like you to understand." He said, slowly letting go as he backed away.

"I dont think you look like a monster, Kurt. I think youre beautiful." Brin said to him, matching his pace to keep up. "Someone with as kind a heart as yours couldnt look any other way. Have faith that there is someone out there who is meant for you and you wont spend youre life alone."

"Faith." Kurt repeated with a small laugh.

"Think about what a wonderful friend youve been to James and to Wolfgang and even to me after I screamed at you all those times. Have faith that that kindness will be returned to you."

Smiling, Brin held Kurts face in her hands and kissed him one on each cheek. "You introduced us to the priest who will join my hand with James in marriage. Ill always love you for that." He could feel his cheeks blushing a deep violet and for the third time in his life, Kurt was speechless.

He wiped the tear away quickly however, because it was the first time in his life he found his faith dwindling.
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Post by NWKurt »

Ohhhh! Post 100 for ya! Congrats!! We need many more from you Zam:D

What a good read for me this time. It lifted my day out of the hole it has been in since going to work at 2 AM:X

more, MOre, MORE!

NWK
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Post by CurlyyHairGirl »

:cryKurt's faith dwindleling?*reaches out to hug and comfort the sad blue cutie and comfort him*

:*)poped the question!!! AWESOME!!:kiss
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Post by Rowena »

Congratulations on your 100th post!!!!!!! :D

That last chapter was so sweet! I really, really liked the part with the organ! I've always wanted to play the organ at my church! They're such awesome instruments!

That last bit about Kurt's faith beginning to waver sounded slightly ominous...

I'm really glad we've been able to help cheer you up! Hospitals can be so depressing. Now I'm going to post more of my story so I won't be blamed for keeping you awake! You need your rest so you can get better! :D

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Post by Singe »

Must break silence and say that this is spectacularly spectacular! Especially given frequent mention of NYU, my alma mater :D AWESOME. Continue promptly.
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Post by RavEnigma »

Awwwww, how sad/sweet! I was wondering when James would ask Brin to marry him! And the part about the organ room is so cool! I could see it in my mind like I was really there! Sad that Kurt feels like that, though. I'd be his any day! :D Anyway, can't wait for more!
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Post by Saint Kurt »

Krikey! I'm back!

I feel like I was gone for years rather than days. The transition from hospital to home was really rough for some reason. So the kittens and I have been staying at my parents' and I've pretty much been sleeping. I finally got out to see the new Harry Potter tonight though. (I liked it.)

I'm glad you like the visit to Father Dietrich's - that was one of those things where the outline says "They visit Father Dietrich's" and it turns into like three separate plot threads.

I'm going to post the next part and then I've got a lot of catching thing up to do. I'll be back and more active soon enough.

Thanks for so much support in the hospital. You guys are really really great. :D

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Post by CurlyyHairGirl »

:DGlad youre back home and healthy as an ox, well maybe not an ox...it is the thought that counts.:kiss
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Post by Saint Kurt »

A few notes before I post the next story:

Even though at times these stories are quite linear and go from day to day, they are meant to be stories, not chapters and so there are often large jumps in time.

This next story is on such case. The last installment happened in the middle of winter and this next one will occur in the beginning of the summer. These jumps are to keep things from getting boring which, trust me, they would.

There is a lot of circus performance described in the next story. A LOT. I tried my best to to describe the show in detail, but if you are unfamiliar with circus arts, a few of them may be really hard to picture. If you find yourself lost, treat yourself to a viewing of a Cirque de Soleil video or two and you should be up to speed. (My favorite is Allegria, but everyone I show them to likes Varekai best. Quidam is also very good)

I know... blah blah blah. Where's the story already?
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Opening Night

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“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name…"


Wolfgang wondered if this was what it was like to have an out of body experience. He wondered if the rest of the circus felt the same way he did. He was wandering aimlessly through their backstage, a second tent attached to the main tent. The pre-show activity was underway. Along one wall there was a row of tilted mirrors where a few of the performers were putting on their makeup. In the middle of the room, on the large expanse of mats, Kurt and Petra were stretching and occasionally running through a few of the moves from their duets. Everybody was busy and yet Wolfgang felt completely detached.

This was the hardest he had ever worked on anything. And the entire circus had been behind him the whole time; they had as much stake in tonight’s outcome as he did. Maybe it was a defense mechanism to keep him from feeling nervous, but as Wolfgang toured the backstage he felt like he was watching a film. The radio headset he wore crackled to life. Though the roustabouts were no longer carrying props around the played an integral part in the show as technicians, responsible for light, sound, and controlling the various pulley rigs for the flying equipment. And he, Wolfgang was somehow supposed to be overseeing it all.

“Five minutes to first call.” Wolfgang shouted, repeating it from the radio.

The audience was already trickling in and the real show would not begin for another ten minutes. But performers wandering through the audience and hanging about on the platforms would set the stage early. Wolfgang watched as the random activity ceased. Kurt, Christian, Gretchen, and several of the others who would go on first checked their costumes, making sure they were complete and properly fastened.

Wolfgang walked over to Kurt. He would be the first one out. “Are you ready?” He asked.

Kurt shook his head. “No.” He said.

“No?” Wolfgang repeated, so on edge that he was already starting to panic. “Why not?”

Kurt took Wolfgang’s hand in one of his and Gretchen’s in the other. Gretchen shrugged and took Lars’ hand. Soon the entire group was in a circle, all holding hands.

“I just thought we needed some insurance.” Kurt said. Everybody looked confused until Kurt began speaking again, his eyes cast toward the floor. “Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever and ever.”

Wolfgang smiled. He supposed that if Kurt had asked him if he could say the Lord’s Prayer before they went on he would have said no as the circus was strictly a secular affair. However, listening to the way Kurt said it, the Lord’s Prayer actually made sense to him for the first time.

“I’m ready now.” Kurt said after the group had said amen and released hands. He and Wolfgang walked over to the closed tent flap that separated the backstage were life was safe and predictable from the big tent where anything could happen. The rest of the early performers followed them as shortly they would be following Kurt into the tent.

“I’ll see you in about 90 minutes.” Kurt said, opened the flap, and was gone.

Wolfgang peeked out and watched Nightcrawler, almost completely obscured by shadow climb the ladder to one of the many static platforms scattered around the tent. There was a brief hush in the audience when he stepped into the light where he sat down and let his tail hang over the edge of the platform. When he didn’t do anything besides sit and watch the audience, they quickly grew bored and started talking again. Wolfgang grinned as Kurt shifted positions and started pretending to file his nails with the spade of his tail. A moment later Christian made an entrance from the opposite direction, riding one of his homemade bicycles. Wolfgang backed away from the flap; the show was in good hands.

Once the forest had been established, the creatures slowly melted into the background and made their exits. The accordion player and the narrative female singer stepped into the middle of the ring, which was lit by a dim mottled light, like a forest floor. Kurt used the distraction of their entrance to climb up to the top of the trapeze rigging. As they began playing, he slid down the ropes onto the trapeze where he stood and started swinging.

Wolfgang had written this song in Italian and it had been James’ idea to set it to a waltz, which since Kurt was alone, emphasized his loneliness. It took Kurt awhile to get enough momentum to do anything. Meanwhile, James who was with the rest of the band off in the shadows slowly began to join in and pad the accordionist’s performance. As the violins took up the melody from the lone accordion, Kurt did his first trick and the audience applauded. The film stopped and Wolfgang was reconnected to the world; the circus had begun.

The next 90 minutes seemed to pass in 90 seconds. Kurt ended his solo by leaping off the trapeze and landing in the outstretched hands of Nils and Sven who bent their knees to absorb the momentum as they caught him. Because of the lack of nets, all dismounts from the higher equipment would be handled this way. The hardest part for Kurt was not speaking to them since they were supposed to just catch him and then fade into the background. His exit was to climb back up one of the platforms and watch the gypsy tribe make their entrance.

The entrance of the tribe was where the show got big. The lights came all the way up and the band kicked in in full as the entire circus streamed in through every entrance and marched into the ring. Planning this was a logistical nightmare since it required the performers to stage themselves in an area that the audience was using, but with the help of their roustabout ushers, it went smoothly. The group was carrying most of their equipment with them so it acts as a sort of overture of what was to come. Plus it really gave the impression of them moving in since they had to set everything up, or at least store it to be set up later. Once everyone was on stage and the props in their places the music switched and the celebration commenced.

This was the product of Brin’s many dance workshops and when Wolfgang scanned the group, he could see her as she had chosen to join the performers in the ring for some of the larger numbers. It was one of the few totally choreographed numbers so while it didn’t include any difficult tricks, it was striking to see so many people out in the ring at the same time. Everyone looked like they were having fun, particularly the youngest performers who were being tossed in the air by their various older relatives. The whole party came to an abrupt end when Kurt dropped into the middle of it.

There was a moment of stunned silence and everybody backed away from him except Petra who took a several steps towards him. They were about to touch each other’s hands when Lars pulled his sister back. Then, led by Lars, Nightcrawler was chased away. This segued into the first big act, the Wolleck’s tightrope act.

The Wollecks had taken a unique approach. Instead of putting the high wire way up above the audience they lowered it to about 12 feet above the ground. The point of their act was not how high they could be, but how many things they could do. To make it even more interesting, there was not one high wire, but three. On the end furthest from the audience the platforms were connected, but on the nearest end there was hardly room for more than on person to stand. This was one of Wolfgang’s favorite acts, mainly because it was so outside the box.

The three ropes allowed for all sorts of synchronization and they started out doing cartwheels that led to flips and some simple stacking. After that they moved on to tricks with props such as jumping rope or riding a bike. As each person finished their performance on one wire, a new one would begin on another so that there was constant movement. The finale was Laurentiu’s eldest son who carried a chair out on to the center wire. He put it down on the wire and stood balanced upon the seat. The audience applauded. He then put his hands on the back of the chair and pulled himself slowly into a handstand. More applause. Finally he slowly shifted position as he turned and tilted the chair so that it was balanced on the tight rope on a single leg and he was balanced holding a single corner of the chair back. Wolfgang had never seen anything like it ever before. The audience went wild of course.

After pausing the music long enough for applause, James started the band up again still playing the tight rope theme so the Wollecks could climb down from the platforms and distract the audience with additional acrobatics while the first major equipment change occurred. Lars, Sven, and Nils each went to a rope while across from them Kurt leapt from platform to platform releasing the tightropes and attaching a guide cable to them so they could be reeled in without falling on the performers below. Once the tightropes were secured James wound the band down and the Wollecks took their bows before running off stage.

The show went from act to act with the story interwoven between them. Lars tried to tempt Petra; Gretchen tried to tempt Lars. Kurt watched from above. Finally, after Lars threatens her with violence, Petra runs off stage and in to the forest. To set the stage from village to forest the lights changed again and as Petra stood alone in the center of the ring, Christian reappeared on his bicycle and performed his solo.

The stage set included curved ramps that most of the time they were around the perimeter and hardly noticeable. Part of the shift from village to forest was pushing the ramps in close. Christian rode around these and used them as take offs for a variety of inverted aerials that were so graceful they hardly resembled their street park roots. His solo actually happened around Petra who acted frightened at first, but quickly became fascinated. After Christian took his bow there was a moment of comic relief when Christian rode back out with Kurt standing on the foot pegs of his bike and they attempted to cheer her up.

They took the “Full Time Forest Creature” title that Brin had given them very seriously. Despite Kurt’s earlier trepidations about working with the bike, they’d worked out some very technical tricks as well as some hilarious gags. After a few passes around Petra they leave and a pair of deep green silks was lowered through the trap door above.

For Wolfgang, Petra’s solo and subsequent events was the most sublime moment in the show. The flying silks were related to the trapeze in that they hung from the ceiling but that was where the similarity ended. Through a series of slow twists of cloth and turns of her body, Petra climbed to a point high above the audience. From there Petra performed a graceful angry contemplative aerial dance, using only the knots she tied around herself to keep her from falling to the ground. She arranged the silks around herself so they fell like a great curtain and as the music softened Kurt stepped out from behind them.

James had written a beautiful love theme for the two of them and though a few bars could be heard during their initial meeting, this was the first time the audience would hear it in full. It was the music of falling in love – there were no words only the emotion of longing expressed so beautifully by the young soprano. At first Kurt simply circled around her performance, enraptured by her. Then he grabbed the bottoms of the cloth and slowly twirled them around so that the wrap Petra had started around her hand became entwined around her body so she could spiral down until she and Kurt were inches apart. Then as Kurt let go she twisted herself back up to the top again and looped the cloth around and over her outstretched arms. Kurt grabbed the fabric again and this time pulled her back as far as he could and let go so that she soared above the crowd like an angel, the silk streaming behind her.

What had surprised Wolfgang the most during dress rehearsals was that he had never considered Kurt to be much of an actor. Nightcrawler was just a really extreme version of him. But watching him and Petra together, he was convinced they really had fallen in love. Unfortunately their moment together was cut short by the appearance of the wolves.

The Olsson men stripped down to their basic gray unitards and covered by fur capes and masks were revealed, each poised on a different pole or platform, one after the other by spotlights. Once the whole pack could be seen, Sven lead them down to the floor where they pulled Petra from the silks and carried Kurt away. Sven carried his cousin up to the top of the trapeze platform, the furs and masks were shed, and Lycka Pa Himmelen performed.

This was Lars’ other showcase performance so he was the main flyer. Petra actually didn’t do that much since there was no time to really rest after her strenuous solo and she didn’t want to get hurt. It worked out though because at the end, after being tossed from catcher to catcher like a rag doll, she struggles and falls. For a moment the audience gasped and then gave a short cheer when Kurt caught her. It was a great device because it really did look like Sven dropped her by accident. With Petra safely in his arms, Kurt ran off stage.

The scene switched again to the village where the women of the village, Annika and her sisters, attempt to use their magic to call out to Petra. Wolfgang had gotten the idea from Margali’s stories about her mother. He had never seen an aerial hoops act before this show so he hadn’t known what to expect. He’d been pleasantly surprised by the women’s performance, but this was really the musical highlight of the show.

Despite having three very talented singers to work with, James still wanted more; he wanted a great chorus of voices to go with the kaleidoscopic patterns the women created on the hoops. He recruited anyone male who wanted to sing and then auditioned them. Those who could sing on key became his choir. While the two lead women singers sang the main melody, the male singer provided a counterpoint. His counter melody was reinforced by a third much simpler melody sung by James surrounded by acrobats all singing into one microphone. It had been a lot for James to juggle trying to sing, direct his singers, and direct the band all at once, but it was worth it. The result filled the tent with sound and as the women dropped off the hoops into their catchers’ arms, nearly half the audience was standing.

The aerial hoops also marked the turning point of the show. From then on it was more than half over, the story resolving itself and coming to a close. The women find that their call to Petra worked because Kurt arrives at the village with her still in his arms. She wakes up, but is quickly pulled away from Kurt by Lars. Kurt is then caught and strung up in a net.

It had actually been Kurt’s idea, but Wolfgang hated it. He didn’t like the idea of stringing any of his friends up in a net, but it especially bothered him to do it to Kurt. Perhaps it was because even though Wolfgang felt that Margali’s paranoia was unfounded, there was a tiny part of him that thought maybe she was right. He’d been in New York City and had seen first hand the near weekly anti-mutant demonstrations in Washington Square. More than once he’d witnessed discriminations, even violence against those with obvious mutations. And none of them were even half as obvious as Kurt. It bothered Wolfgang in a way he couldn’t quite explain. He knew that it was Kurt’s status as a performer that insulated him from most if not all of the ridicule he might have faced. To then place the very thing he was protected from as part of Kurt’s performance made Wolfgang nervous.

Nonetheless the short scene was quite touching. It started with a dance between the triangle of Petra, Gretchen, and Lars, but their movements then echoed from above by Kurt who was trying to extricate himself from the net. He manages to open up two sides so that the net hung like a sling and in the midst of his own struggles he reaches down to pull Petra up to safety.

This was followed by the fire knife dance performance by Kiwi, Feuer, and Amiri. Though the aerial hoops were considered the musical highlight, the fire knife dance was the only time James could write the kind of music he did best. James could write in a multitude of genres and styles, but his favorite was electronica. Techno, trance, ambient, jungle, it had so many names and so many possibilities for textures and layers. Since the fire performers could choreograph their routine to the music, and they needed very fast music as well, James was free to compose a magnum techno opus. It gave the band a little break too since he was responsible for most of the performance, triggering pre-recorded sequences and samples off of his master keyboard.

The highlight of the fire act was after Feuer and Amiri took their bows and gave center stage to Kiwi, holding a rope with a small cup attached to each end looped over his shoulders. Amiri and Feuer came forward to light the fuel in each cup. Kiwi then spun around once so that the weight of the cups and their momentum stretched the rope out straight. Then he spun the flaming cups of burning fuel in a dazzling array of patterns.

As much as Kiwi wanted to put "fire meteors", the most difficult of the Maori fire arts, in the show, it scared Wolfgang to death. It was difficult enough to begin with to insure a circus let alone one where a performer came out spinning cups of flaming oil that could splatter the audience if he missed. But Kiwi never missed.

The last act before the finale was the Russian Bars, the culmination of nearly two years of training. With the addition of the Wollecks the act had become much more than what Kurt and Lars had started with Lars cousins. Besides being an amazing act, it was an important story element as well.

They began with Lars, Ivan, and one of Ivans older brothers doing synchronized flips. Then the trio took their bows and Lars and Ivan returned to the bars in a sort of competition, which Lars eventually wins. The arrival of Nightcrawler made for a brief humorous interlude as Kurt hopped down on to the bar held by Sven and Nils from above. They tried to shake him off, but he hopped to the next bar where he got a similar treatment, each time landing more like a cat than an acrobat. Finally, after being tossed to the third bar Kurt manages to land on two feet and hold an exaggerated "ta-da!" pose. It was classic Kurt and the audience laughed and clapped until he got tossed onto his head, which got even bigger laughs.

The porters with the large bars stepped aside to allow a pair of porters carrying narrower rounded bars. On these two of the Wolleck women performed several tricks before, still standing on the bars, they were carried off stage. Sven and Nils returned so that Lars could face off with Kurt and for the next few minutes the two of them did their most elaborate tricks. After Lars completes a trick that Nightcrawler cant top, Kurt instead invites Petra up on the bar. Then, with Kurt holding her tightly, she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Obviously strained by the weight of two people on the bar, timing themselves to Kurt, Sven and Nils bent their knees and started the bar bouncing. Kurt used the momentum to turn a single backwards salto with Petra still held in his arms. He landed, letting his tail stabilize them and then the two of them hopped off to even more applause. At that moment, Gretchen comes forward to soothe Lars hurt feelings, but Lars knocks Kurt to the floor, grabs Petra and runs away. The entire cast follows them so that Kurt is left alone on the ground. When the music starts again, Petra is lowered from the ceiling rig as the finale begins.

It was the finale that they had worked so hard on, the one where Brin had allowed Kurt to carry her up into the ceiling as they danced together. From the side Brin watched; all those problems had been solved. Petras timing was perfect and she and Kurt spun in a graceful arc as they rose high above the audience and finally disappeared.

It was at this point where they had come up with their most creative and unusual solution for the shows ending. It had started out with technical problems with Kurts costume. Lysette had delivered a fantastic frock coat in deep brown suede to match Kurts tunic and pants. It was spattered with glossy black paint that glittered in the light as he moved and it fit him perfectly. The only problem was the nine tiny buttons running down the front.

"How much time to I have?" Kurt had asked with doubt in his voice as he carefully manipulated one of the buttons into its hole.

Wolfgang tried not to appear angry with Lysette though it seemed impossible that she wouldnt have noticed such a thing. She had, after all, been making clothes for Kurt since he was a baby. Had it not occurred to her that Kurt wasnt exactly dexterous when it came to his hands?

"Maybe I could do it." Petra said.

Wolfgang paced around them. "Okay, so you guys go up into the ceiling, Petra puts on her costume, then she puts Kurts costume on him."

"Not the costume." Kurt interrupted. "Just the buttons. I can dress myself just fine."

"Petra buttons Kurts coat." Wolfgang corrected, "And then they get lowered back down. How long will that take?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the lowering down thing." Brin said.

Wolfgang looked panicked. "Whats wrong with it?" He asked.

"Its just looks sort of dumb. They go up, and then they come down in different costumes. Its so obvious. Can they make their re-entrance in the new costumes from somewhere else?" Brin asked.

"How?" Wolfgang asked. "Theyll be up there." He pointed to the dropped ceiling for emphasis.

Brin shrugged. "Maybe they could climb down unseen." She said.

Wolfgang slapped his hand to his forehead. "Okay, they go up. Petra puts her costume on. She buttons Kurts coat. Then they climb down without being seen. Then they finally make their entrance. James, are you getting this? How much music are you going to have to write for them to do all that?"

"You might as well make it an intermission." Said James.

"Its impossible Brin." Wolfgang said.

"Its not impossible, Wolfgang." Brin shot back. "Nothings impossible."

"I know a way to get down quickly." Kurt said so softly that he was nearly drowned out by the arguing pair. For a moment it appeared that neither heard him as Wolfgang and Brin continued to debate the staging. Then Wolfgang went silent and turned around.

"Hey, thats right." He said. "You do."

The discussion ended and the end was reworked so that Kurt teleported himself and Petra to a spot backstage where Lars and Gretchen were waiting. Even though he had suggested it, Kurt wasnt happy about teleporting during a show. Even though he had told Margali and most of his friends, he heeded Feuers advice and kept it from public knowledge. Lars and Gretchen were responsible for keeping the backstage clear of people and James made a few changes to the volume of the music to cover the sound. Except for the fact that Petra always looked a little woozy during their entrance, the audience was none the wiser.


Wolfgang had intended to watch the show, but he was a lot busier backstage than he had expected to be. The next time he peeked through the tent flaps, the entire cast was on stage taking their bows. He tried not to be disappointed because given the fact that the entire audience was standing, he suspected he would have many more chances to see Les Chansons performed. Smiling, he joined the audiences applause. They had done it. It seemed like only yesterday it was he and Kurt discussing the plot for the show over a beer in his crowded trailer. So much had happened between then and now and yet it seemed like it was seconds ago.

Wolfgang was woken from his reverie by the appearance of Kurt, Sven, and Laurentiu backstage.

"No, Im not going out." He protested. "This is your show."

"Shut up Wolfgang, this is no time to be modest. Its our show." Kurt said and before Wolfgang could escape, Sven grabbed him and carried him out into the ring. It was a strange time to discover the depth of his stage fright and it was a combination of sheer willpower and Kurts powerful three fingered grip that kept Wolfgang from retreating to the sanctuary of backstage. From that point on he would hide behind his numerous shields, from a painted canvas to his own checkbook, but this night would never be repeated and so Wolfgang took a bow with everyone else before accepting the biggest bouquet of red roses he had ever seen from Maria.

After that night, during the bad times, Wolfgang only had to remember her smile, her lips gleaming red and lovely under the bright white lights, her black eyes brimming with her love for him and be reminded that there was good in the world after all, that there was no reason to ever fall completely into despair even when there seemed no other option.




Note: While working on this I discovered that there are many versions of the Lords Prayer. Nowhere could I find documentation of a "correct version" so I picked the one that spoke to me the most.
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