Prank you, prank you very much...

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Post by Lauren » Fri May 07, 2004 3:04 pm

Kurt was outside at the time, teaching his Latin class outside when he saw Logan leap out of the window and run off. Telling them that class was dismissed, he turned and teleported after him, wondering what had gotten him so wound up.

At one point in the chase, he caught sight of the book, and his heart sank as he feared that the gift had done harm instead of the intended good in the end.

Teleporting in front of Logan, he held out his hands.

"Logan, where are you going?" he asked.
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Practicing Self-Restraint...

Post by Wolvertique » Fri May 07, 2004 4:09 pm

The smoke warned him, so he managed to keep from running the elf down. Part of him, though, the part that had been hurt by the knowledge of what he'd lost, had wanted to.

"Get outta the way, Kurt." He did his best, but his hands shook and his eyes flashed with the desire to get away.
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by Lauren » Fri May 07, 2004 6:18 pm

Tilting his head to one side, Kurt could see the trembling and look in Logan's eyes, using the training Logan himself had given him.

"Talk to me." he said. "Is it about the book?"
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Post by Wolvertique » Fri May 07, 2004 7:18 pm

"Her diary." He stroked the cover gently, but his tone was harsh.

He looked Kurt over, trying to figure his chances of just blowing him off, but the man seemed set on finding out.

He folded his arms. "Ever had your memories tampered with, elf?"
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by Lauren » Sat May 08, 2004 2:43 am

Kurt sighed softly, closing his eyes as he shook his head a bit.

"Nein, I have not, Logan. Unless you count my movie counterpart." he said. "That makes you stronger for dealing with that, but just running off will not change anything.

"If you insist on going however...I am going too." he said.
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Post by Wolvertique » Sat May 08, 2004 7:41 am

The short man's bushy left eyebrow raised, but instead of the gruff rejoinder Kurt expected, he laughed. "I'm going to Mordor alone. Of course you are. And I'm coming with you!"

He shook his head as Kurt stifled a snicker at the Fellowship reference. "If ya must. Come on, Sammy."
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by Lauren » Sat May 08, 2004 12:49 pm

Laughing softly, Kurt nodded, his tail swaying side to side a bit.

"All right, master Frodo." he said. "But when I warn you about any shriveled up people who want to join us, listen to me this time!" he said, poking him lightly in the chest with his tail tip.
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Post by RavEnigma » Sat May 08, 2004 2:13 pm

*sniff* Logan called Kurt Sammy! Sammy was my bunny's name! :bawl *sniff* Anyway, love the LOTR reference. Please write more soon!
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Post by Wolvertique » Sat May 08, 2004 5:22 pm

Logan (or James ... he was still trying to get used to the idea) shook his head and clapped Kurt companionably on the shoulder. "Leave your girlfriends out of this, elf." He winked mischievously as he walked further into the forest of Charles Xavier's estate.
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by Lauren » Sun May 09, 2004 4:13 am

Kurt opened his mouth in disbelief and he snarled as he teleported onto Logan's shoulders.

"I hope you didn't say what I think you said!" he warned gruffly, narrowing his eyes. His tail tip poked Logan on the tip of his nose. "Or else!"
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Relaxed.

Post by Wolvertique » Sun May 09, 2004 3:47 pm

Logan grunted a little as the sudden weight came down on him, but kept walking anyway. He grinned. "Watch where you point that thing." He cleared his throat and started whistling innocently.
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by Lauren » Sun May 09, 2004 6:48 pm

Sighing, Kurt swung his tail back and he stayed on Logan's shoulders in a piggy back position.

"Ach, well at least I get a ride on our way!" he laughed. "So, where are we headed?"
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Post by SheCat » Sun May 09, 2004 10:46 pm

"Ah am SO not writin' you into this." Patchy leaned back in her seat and took a sip of from her can of cold Boyardee.

"But what will they do without a leader?" Scott looked around frantically. "And this is outrageous! They act like being turned into me is a bad thing!"

Patchy hid her laughter by taking another sip and sketching a picture of Storm picking her nose ("It is a traditional African greeting!".)

"Well?" Scott leaned up behind her in an attempt to be intimidating.

"Well what?" She blew pinky-red bangs out of her face.

Scott groaned. "Will you write me in?"

Patchy shrugged. "Nah. Ah wanna see how this turns out. It's gettin' interestin'."

Scott puffed out his chest indignantly. "Maybe I'll just tell Remy and Rogue where you're hiding."

Patchy shrugged again, waiting for the next installment of Kurt and Logan's "Incredible Journey".
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Rushing

Post by Wolvertique » Mon May 10, 2004 11:16 am

"Why, we're lookin' for my family. So don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Logan picked up his pace, jarring Kurt as he ran.
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by Lauren » Mon May 10, 2004 12:35 pm

Kurt made an oof sound as Logan jostled him, but he wrapped his tail around his waist tightly to hold onto him.

"Well, where do you think we should look first?" he asked. "Or are we just winging it?"
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Post by Wolvertique » Mon May 10, 2004 1:49 pm

Logan ran on steadily. "I know where we're going."

He pushed a little at Kurt. "Ya know, unless you want to do the Lord of the Rings thing true to the book and carry me, you should get off now."

He couldn't repress a chuckle at the idea of Kurt trying to carry him, staggering under his metal-enhanced weight. "Frodo" indeed.
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by SheCat » Mon May 10, 2004 5:41 pm

Patchy laughed as she read the latest installment. Mentally, she visualized Wolvie obsessing over 'his precious'.

Behind her, Scott tapped her shoulder. "The badger actually has a plan?"

Patchy shrugged and blew her bangs out of her face again. "He just said he knew where they was goin'. He never said anythin' about a plan."

"Good point. So, are you gonna write me in?"

"No."

Scott leaned out the door. "Rogue, she's in here!"

"Holy Mothahfu..." Patchy darted into the bathroom and locked the door, taking her laptop with her so she could read more.
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Post by Lauren » Mon May 10, 2004 6:38 pm

Laughing, Kurt teleported onto a tree a bit a head of them and he performed a somersault as he leapt down to meet up with Logan as he ran by him.

"Where are we going?" he asked.
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Post by Wolvertique » Tue May 11, 2004 1:01 pm

Logan kept up his quick pace. "The old family home."

He increased his pace a little, despite his resolve not to behave differently, not to expect anyone to be glad to see him or meet anyone he cared for at the door.
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by Lauren » Tue May 11, 2004 3:34 pm

Nodding, Kurt leaned forward and he ran as fast as he could, trying to keep up with his friend.

"You run fast for someone with such stubby legs!" he laughed, trying to lighten the mood.
"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call." -Vash the Stampede


"No, you see I'm blind in my right eye now... So boring. You know what really makes me pissy? Grunge, Heroine chic, and dying are over. I so hate being behind the curve. Tourism's up." Brett(Alan Cumming) from Urbania

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Post by Mistress D » Tue May 11, 2004 3:56 pm

Whoa, this has turned from a prank thread, to an epic tag-fic! ...Iiiii like it! :D
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Post by Wolvertique » Tue May 11, 2004 4:13 pm

He laughed. "I could shorten yours for ya, elf, any time you want." He didn't extend his claws or make any threatening moves.

It was about time he figured out who he was, anyway. He was way out of his teenage years. He sighed with relief. "Good to have the angst over with," he muttered to himself.
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Looking for a Way In

Post by Wolvertique » Tue May 11, 2004 4:25 pm

Scott Summers quickly cut and ran as Rogue flew into Patchy's room, murder in her eyes. He laughed.

"See, I have a sense of humor," he thought.

If Patchy wouldn't cut him in, who would? He drew himself erect, looking rigid and unbending. Wolvertique would have to listen to reason. She would be made to understand that he had a responsibility to those men, and they'd get in trouble without him. They needed him.

Didn't they?

************************
Back in Wolvertique's home, the author herself was relaxing. She was going to make herself some coffee and then make some calls for jobs. She picked up the want ads as her door flew open and a wrathful, uptight Scott Summers came barreling through it.

Great. She made a few funny stories for Logan, one story to make Rogue feel a little better, and suddenly she was bombarded by other fictional characters. Hopefully the DC characters wouldn't start calling on her as well.

"What do you want, Summers?" she snapped.

He paused and looked puzzled. "I have come to request that you permit me to go along with Logan and Kurt. They are unable to keep discipline and order without me and thus will likely run into trouble."

She got up and jabbed a finger into his chest as hard as she could. He stepped back and rubbed the injury. "Listen here, Scott. I'm not here to serve any of you characters, particularly the anal-retentive ones like you that I despise. Got it?"

He coughed and sputtered, but she broke into his attempt to explain. "If you were a less irritating character, if you knocked first, if you made some attempt to show me respect, I'd be glad to help you. But you're an overly rigid, rules and regulations, 'do what I say or else' Scott. Get out of here."

He thought for a minute, then in a milder voice asked, "What if I can prove you wrong?"

"Really." She folded her arms and looked at him. "You think you can show me you're really a mushroom, hm?"

"Mushroom?"

She sighed. "Mushrooms, fungi. A fun guy. Get it?"

He nodded happily. "Yes." He ran from the room. "Just keep an eye on the fanfiction page at the web address http://www.nightscrawlers.com!

She shook her head and groaned. She should never have listed herself in the Authors' Guide to the Marvel Universe. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but she hadn't known, then, how invasive the characters could be!
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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Post by SheCat » Tue May 11, 2004 5:32 pm

"She's out t' kill me!" Patchy shrieked louder than Banshee and Syrin comibined as she jumped down the laundry chute. The metal panels made her voice echo, and everyone in the mansion winced. Rogue stopped at the chute, realizing that her hips were a tad too wide to allow her to pursue her quarry. Oh, well. She'd catch her at the laundry basket.

Patchy tumbled out of the chute into a basket of jeans. Struggling up, she darted down the hall and into a room, hiding behind the legs of the inhabitant.

"Hey!" Remy looked down at the cowering redneck clamped to his leg. "Patchy?"

"Save me protect me don' let her kill me please!"

Remy glared. "Maybe you should of t'ought of dat before writing dat incest fic. Get off my leg!"

From outside, there was Rogue calling. "Oh, Patchyyyyyy...where are ya, sugah? All is forgiven', ya know. Why don't you come out and we can play a game?"

Still attached to the Cajun's leg like a limpet, Patchy narrowed her eyes. "Ah don't believe that gal for one minute!"

"Better get off my leg or I'll tell her you're here." Remy shook his leg, but she didn't budge. "Or maybe I'll just punish ya myself."

Patchy looked up at him imploringly. "But it was just a silly joke..." a mischeivous smile crossed her face, "Honeybunchles."

He rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. "Who tol' ya dat name?"

She grinned. "Jubilee."

"Dis is blackmail, y' know?"

"Yep." She let go and sat down on the floor. "Now are ya gonna spend the rest of your life messing up yore hair in front o' the mirror, or are you gonna help me please Rogue?"

"By what?"

"By hidin' me 'til I write somethin' nice about her."

Remy sighed and conceded.
"I throw de cards, de cards go BOOM! End of bad guy, end of story." -Gambit, X-Treme
"Everything I still want I just now prayed for." -Kreon, Antigone :cry
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"You act like I know what day of the week it is." ~Patchy
From the Strange and Twisted Mind of Emmy-Jay / Enter the Patchverse...:respectgambit

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Scott the Commanding Leader's Fanfic

Post by Wolvertique » Tue May 11, 2004 6:16 pm

Scott nervously sneaked into his bedroom. Good. Jean wasn't there.

With a sigh of relief, he took out her laptop and, within moments, was connected to the Internet. He looked over some of the other fiction at Nightscrawlers and snorted. "Ridiculous. I can do this."

Then he began.


Scott had a bracing cold shower that morning.

No. Too sexual. He didn't like the idea of others thinking about him in the shower, especially after Wolvertique's 2x4 story.

Scott had awakened early that morning, ready to perform the morning briefing. He got his papers together and gasped. Jean was still sleeping!

He smiled. This was easy.

He awakened her with a kiss and she smiled at him. "Beloved, I'll be right there. Don't start without me."

Well, she had actually taken five minutes to awaken and muttered something about if she'd married Logan, she wouldn't have to get up so early, but this was fiction. It was okay to ... exaggerate.

He strode briskly to the briefing room and arranged his papers, smiling. Remy was already there, though the man appeared to need some coffee or something else to wake him up. He clapped his hands. Remy's eyes, dull and vacant, snapped to attention. "Thanks, ami. Remy need something to help him wake up."

He snorted. That was what the man should have said, anyhow. Ungrateful sot. He cleared his throat. He meant well-meaning team member, if a little overly fond of alcohol.

He checked his watch, tidily arranging his papers and passing out agendas. Five minutes till briefing. What was taking everyone so long? He pressed the intercom button to make sure everyone was awake and ready to go.

And did anyone thank him for it? No. He pouted a little. He put himself OUT for them, made sure they got the important information he had for them, and this was the thanks he got?

Soon the rest of the team came in, other than Logan, who was always late because he was an undisciplined ...

He frowned. What could he call Logan that was appropriate, yet not of a negative connotation?

Person.

The meeting went well. Everyone got their assignments for the day and Scott felt proud. He had done a good job.

There. He was satisfied. Anyone could see he did a lot of good for the X-men just from that brief story.

"Scott? What on earth are you doing?"

Jean's voice startled him. He jumped involuntarily and cried out. Then he pulled himself together. "Nothing, just playing on the Internet."
Mystique: "How would you like to come see some really awful black velvet paintings of bullfighters?"
Wolverine: "What, no etchings?"
Mystique: "Just bullfighters...that's all they have on my motel room wall."
--Wolverine #51, "The Crunch Conundrum"

"Scott, everybody knows J-P would slap us all silly and make us little French speaking clones of him if he could." -- Bobby Drake

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