3/24 Issue: Repression Confessions

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3/24 Issue: Repression Confessions

Post by Slarti » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:32 am

Timelined the day after Texts from Last Night

Bobby: It wasn't that long of a drive, but it felt that way for Bobby. He pulled into the lot of the old school-slash-nuthouse building and stared up at it. Rip was in school, Zachary was in daycare, and Bobby had called in sick.

Rogue: Rogue held her hair as she spat the toothpaste in the sink, then pulled some water from the tap into her mouth to swish around. She spat that out and looked in the mirror, running her tongue over her teeth to make sure she didn't miss anything. Once satisfied, she rinsed her toothbrush and put it away, then moved on to fluff out her bedhead.

Bobby: Once inside, he ran his own tongue over his teeth in thought, pausing at the bottom of the stairs. Nope, had to do this. Fuck. He began the climb.

Bobby: After a deep breath, he got out of his old pickup and pocketed his phone, starting up the stairs to the door.

Rogue: Hair mussed and fluffed to her liking, she moved into her bedroom and stripped out of her oversized t-shirt, tossing it to the head of the bed for that evening, then walked to her closet to pick out her clothes for the day.

Bobby: He took his phone from his pocket, started to look at the text, then swore under his breath and stuffed it back into his pocket when he reached her door. Bobby knocked once, then opened it. "Anna, I-" Skin. Lots and lots of skin. Oh, shit.

Rogue: Rogue squeaked and pulled out the shirt she was looking at, holding it up to cover as much as she could. "Bobby!" She quickly flew to the bathroom, not bothering to ask him to wait outside. Rogue wrapped a towel around her and took a couple of deep breaths to stop her heart from racing, then stepped back into her bedroom.

Bobby: Bobby swallowed, slamming the door behind him. He'd seen it before, after all, but not... now. He closed his eyes and waited, hearing her re-emerge. Eyes still screwed shut, he winced. "Sorry, babe."

Rogue: Her mouth twitched up at the look on his face and made quick work of getting fully dressed instead of using a towel for coverage. "Ain't like y've not seen it b'fore. Just startled me, is all." She pulled her shirt down into place and reached for her gloves on top of her dresser, giving him a look out of the corner of her eye. "It's safe now."

Bobby: "I have, but-" He cleared his throat, eyes still closed. "I, uh, got the text, Anna." Bobby turned his head a little, listening to her and cracking one eye. She was clothed, but he wasn't ready to look directly at her. "W-what... just... what the fuck?"

Rogue: Rogue turned to pick up her dropped towel, heading back to the bathroom to hang it up just to be able to hide her face. "What text, sugah?"

Bobby: Bobby frowned at himself, and her. Maybe she didn't send it? If not, he made an ass of himself for nothing.

Rogue: Rogue frowned back at him when she realized he wasn't going to say anything. "Y' get lots o' texts, Bugs."

Bobby: He studied her face now that he could see it again. "Did you send me a text last night?"

Rogue: "Ah mean, maybe? Ah was drinkin' with Carol."

Bobby: "You might want to check to see what texts she sent with your phone then, babe." Bobby winced, unsure how he felt about this turn of events.

Rogue: Rogue watched him warily for a minute, feeling her heart race as she tried to determine how to act after she looked at her phone. Should she be honest with him? Should she brush it off?

Rogue: She picked up her phone from the desk and glanced up at him, "Is it bad?"

Bobby: He watched him watch her, eyes narrowed a little to pick up her small tells and fluctuations in body temperature. "It's..." Bad? No? A surprise? Yes. Maybe? Not really, he supposed. Bobby just shrugged in response.

Rogue: "It's... What?" She looked back at her phone, stalling by going as slowly as she could. "Did she take naked pictures o' me after Ah'd passed out?"

Bobby: He let out a high, nervous laugh. "Well, we already established you haven't got anything I haven't seen." Bobby blinked at his own words the moment they were out.

Rogue: She knew that laugh. Her eyes slid to his face. He was just as unsettled as her. The question was, what about it unsettled him? Rogue looked down and read the text, blinking slowly at it, trying to keep her breathing even. "Oh..."

Bobby: "Yeah, oh." He couldn't tell what she was thinking and it was driving him nuts. Shifting his weight, Bobby ran his teeth over his lip. "So. That was from Carol?"

Rogue: "Ah didn't write it, no." She read the words over again, wondering if she should just bite the bullet and open up to him about it. She'd never kept secrets from him before.

Bobby: Bobby felt his eyebrows rise. "....huh. What the fuck were you drinking? I would think if she was gonna prank me it'd be more... pranky?"

Rogue: "Um. Th' closest thing t' Vic's braindeath this side o' th' Atlantic?" Rogue swallowed hard and went to sit on her bed, one leg tucked up under her. "What'd y' think when y' read it?"

Bobby: She wasn't laughing. So... not a prank? "...wait, is that from Carol?!"

Rogue: "She knows there's tension here," she gestured between the two of them.

Bobby: "Here?" He mimicked her hand motion, adding a little more flail. "So it's not about her. It is about you?"

Rogue: "Well she wrote it as me, so Ah'd assume she meant it t' be 'bout me." Rogue frowned at him. "Ah highly doubt she grabbed mah phone t' text y' 'bout herself."

Bobby: "No? I mean, fuck if I know? This whole thing is weird!" He resisted the urge to pull out his own phone to double check for his own sanity.

Rogue: Rogue felt like she wasn't breathing, so she forced herself to take a slow, deep breath, giving herself time to think. "So... F'rget it happened then? We were drunk. Blow it off if y' want."

Bobby: Bobby took another good, long look at her, then sat down on her bed.

Rogue: Rogue watched him, trying to determine what he was thinking, frustrated that she couldn't read him right now. Her eyebrows went up in question at him, but she didn't say a word.

Bobby: He sighed. "Anna," he started, voice serious as he searched her face. "Are you okay? You're... acting weird."

Rogue: "Ah'm actin' weird? Y'all're th' one who busted in on me while Ah was mostly naked an' is just now sittin' down like normal."

Bobby: She had a point. He wasn't going to let that get in his way. "Well I got that text! Wouldn't you wonder what the fuck is going on?"

Rogue: Rogue chewed her lip and shrugged one shoulder. "Ah guess? Ah wouldn'ta been surprised, though, if it'd been you textin' me that."

Bobby: That stopped him cold. Bobby studied her again, opening his mouth, then closing it again.

Rogue: Her heart stopped for a moment and she knew she had been stupid. Stupid for suggesting the idea, stupid for letting Carol type and send the text, and stupid for saying what she just did.

Bobby: "Anna?" Her expression was enough and his own heart kicked up. He slid closer to her and reached for her gloved hand. "It's... not a prank. Is it?"

Rogue: Her eyes followed his hand until it was resting on hers. She didn't turn hers over to take his, though. She felt like such an idiot and felt her face heat up with the embarrassment of it all. "Carol did write an' send it."

Bobby: "But... it's true." Bobby let out a long breath and squeezed her hand anyway. Fuck. What now?

Rogue: Rogue closed her eyes and turned her hand over to hold his, finally. If she had ruined their entire relationship because she had been selfish and wanted him to know how she felt, this would be the last time she'd get to hold his hand.

Bobby: Relieved, if just a little bit, he moved in to slide his other arm around her shoulders. "How long?"

Rogue: "Y' sure y' wanna know th' answer t' that?" She opened her eyes to stare at their hands and sighed when she saw his wedding ring. She was an awful person. "Won't change nothin', no ways."

Bobby: "No, but... you're my best friend, too, Anna. I... wanna know." He couldn't see her face now, just her hair and the silver white stripe. While his instinct was to kiss her head as he always did, now he was second-guessing himself.

Rogue: "Do y' remember th' first time y' told Paige y' loved her? 'Cause Ah do. Y'all hadn't been datin' long an' Ah finally screwed up th' courage t' say somethin' an' Ah didn't think things were that serious 'tween ya. Then y' blurted it out in front o' me."

Rogue: She covered their hands with her free one to hide his wedding ring. "All that time we spent t'gether after we moved here... mah takin' Ripley every day... Ah finally was feelin' like Ah could move on from Sam. Like we... like you an' me an' Ripley... could be a family."

Bobby: "Oh," he said quietly, then went ahead and kissed her head. "Anna... I..." Bobby closed his eyes, connecting the signs over the years. She'd accused him of moving too fast with Paige. He thought it'd been her unwillingness to let Lorna go. Maybe not. "I-I wish you woulda told me," he sighed.

Rogue: "Ah tried. Even tried t' get y' t' not marry her." Rogue shook her head and pulled back enough to look at him. "What would y' have done diff'rent? Prob'ly nothin'."

Bobby: He studied her face, debating if telling her this would only make things worse. "Maybe everything, if I'd really realized..."

Rogue: Rogue's stomach twisted into a knot and she forced herself to keep looking at him. "...Oh." She frowned, pushing past the lump in her throat to speak, "Then Ah guess it just wasn't meant t' be. This ain't a Hallmark movie..."

Bobby: "Thank fuck. Those things are terrible." Bobby gave her a half smirk, moving his hand to push back her hair and trace her stripe. "There has always been something between us... I know that. Dee saw it sometimes, and so did Sam, but..." He sighed, still taking in her features. "I'm sorry I didn't get it."

Rogue: The corner of her lower lip escaped between her teeth when he touched her hair and she wasn't able to look at him anymore. "They may be terrible, but at least there's always a happy endin'..." Rogue's tongue flicked out to wet the spot she'd been worrying between her teeth even though there was no wound.

Bobby: His heart twisted in his chest and without any further thought he cupped her jaw to tip her face toward his and kissed her.

Rogue: Rogue froze - unable to breathe, unable to think. This wasn't a playful kiss meant to shock her. She ignored the wash of his psyche, not wanting his thoughts and feelings to color hers. This could be a good-bye kiss. She didn't want to know. Her eyes finally fluttered closed and she leaned into the kiss, wanting to at least know what it felt like to kiss him for herself, not through someone else's memories.

Bobby: For whatever reason, her powers had never affected him in the same way they had other people. Maybe they should have taken that as a sign long ago. He'd had dreams about this, but reality was better. Until he remembered Paige.

Bobby: Bobby jerked back to break the kiss, panting and wide eyed. "Fuck- sorry... I shouldn't have done that."

Rogue: So much better experiencing it for herself. And then it was gone. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her eyes opened, seeking his face. And then it hit her. Her stomach dropped and she felt like she might be sick. He was married. It didn't matter what she felt or what he felt. She could never have him. Rogue brought her hand up to her lips, gloved fingertips brushing where his had just been. "It's mah fault. Ah shouldn'ta said anythin'."

Bobby: "No, it's-" He pulled back a little to give himself some distance. "I should know better. I-" Had no idea what to do now.

Rogue: Rogue did one better and completely got off the bed, moving to lean against the edge of her desk, heels of her hands pressing hard enough into the edge to crease the leather of her gloves. She couldn't look at him. All she wanted to do was drink him in, but she couldn't do it. Wouldn't let herself do it. "Don't... don't put this on you, sugah."

Bobby: Bobby got up as well, stiffly, crossing his arms. "Well I'm the one who did the kissing, so for sure that's on me."

Rogue: "Why'd y' do it?" If they were already here, she at least wanted to know.

Bobby: "Because I feel it too, Anna." He cleared his throat, unable to meet her eyes.

Rogue: Her head fell forward and she took a deep breath. "Bobby," her voice was so quiet she almost didn't hear it herself, so she swallowed and tried again. "Bobby... when did y' know?"

Bobby: "I dunno... I can't really pin it down. You've always been there for me... been my partner in crime, literally," he joked, although it sounded weak. "You're gorgeous, and passionate, and infuriating, so I've always... been attracted." Bobby cleared his throat.

Bobby: "You were way outta my league, babe," he laughed softly, eyes still on the floor at her feet. "I loved Lorna, I love Paige... but... I've always loved you, too."

Rogue: Rogue's eyes jerked up to look at him, even though he wasn't looking at her. She had not expected that. At all. Her chest was tight and her heart squeezed painfully. Before she let herself think about it, she flew the distance between them, took his face in her hands, and pressed her lips to his. One more before she let him go for good.

Bobby: It startled him, but despite his better judgment, Bobby responded, his hands flying to her arms. He wasn't sure if he wanted to push her away or pull her closer.

Rogue: She let herself savor the kiss, committing it to memory since it would never happen again. Rogue finally let him go, but lingeringly, slowly pulling away until there weren't touching at all. Her nerves were on fire as she watching him, chewing on her lip. She wanted to run now. Run and never look back.

Rogue: But she was frozen in place, just within arms reach of her best friend. Her married best friend. Which was what she wanted to run from.

Bobby: "Anna..." Bobby had to clear the gravel from his throat as he finally looked at her. He knew that look in her eyes and straightened up. "Don't you dare run. Not from me."

Rogue: "You an' Sam. Th' only two who could tell just by lookin' at me." Rogue's eyes were hot and she took a deep breath to try and calm herself down some. "Ah love you, Bobby Drake. An' th' only thing Ah c'n do 'bout it is run away from it."

Bobby: "What about Tony? The X-Men? What about Ripley, Anna? You gonna run from all of it, or just me?" She was about to cry, and he felt a lump in his own throat that he couldn't clear.

Rogue: "Ah-" She tried to think of an answer, but failed and just shook her head instead. "Ah don't know what else t' do. Tell me what t' do instead an' Ah'll do it. It hurts, Bobby. It physically hurts. Tell me what t' do t' make it stop."

Bobby: "I know." He unconsciously touched his own chest. "I know, it fucking sucks, but you go on... that's... what we do. Always alright, right?" Bobby gave her a sad smile.

Rogue: "What if that doesn't work anymore? How do we just 'go on' fr'm this?" Her hand mirrored his and she moved to sink onto her bed. "Ah think Ah'd miss you most of all, Scarecrow."

Bobby: "Only if I had a brain." He shook his head with a soft chuckle. "We have to, because people are counting on us, both of us... together and separately."

Rogue: Rogue leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees and staring at Bobby's feet. "Ah'm so sorry. Ah should never've suggested that Carol an' Ah swap phones."

Bobby: "I mean... part of me is glad." Bobby sighed, his own eyes still mostly on the floor. "But it's complicated."

Rogue: "Glad that Ah've made y' question everythin' y' thought y' knew?" She shook her head and sighed, "It shouldn't hafta be complicated." Rogue finally looked up at him. "Are y' happy with Paige?"

Bobby: He felt her eyes on him and looked up, feeling the muscle in his jaw tense up as he thought about how to answer her.

Rogue: "It's not gonna hurt mah feelin's if y' say yes... Y' ignored mah attempts t' get ya t' leave her, so Ah assume it's a yes... But Ah also know how happy ya make me... So... Just thought Ah'd ask." She winced, "Y' know what? Never mind. F'rget Ah said anythin'. Ah'm sorry."

Bobby: Bobby shook his head. "It's okay, babe." He made her happy? Not anymore, he suspected. "Paige is..." He sighed. "Easy to love. She's like... sunshine." He smiled to himself. "Right now, things are hard, but I dunno if it's because she's in this program, or if she's, uh... more invested in work than she is our marriage, or what."

Rogue: "Sunshine," she repeated softly. "Flyin' too close t' th' sun c'n burn." Rogue winced a second time, "She's never liked me much an' Ah cain't say Ah've ever been overly fond o' her... Not just b'cause o' you, neither."

Rogue: Rogue studied his face for a long moment, then stood and took his hands. "F'rget this happened t'night. Y' don't need th' extra stress." After a brief hesitation, she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Bobby: Bobby gave her a faint smile for the kiss. Her lips practically burned his skin, speaking of the sun. "Got a mind wipe handy?"

Bobby: He sighed and cocked his head. "Why is that, anyway? I've always kind of wondered why you didn't like her."

Rogue: Rogue gave him a wry smile, "Sure, if y' want me t' touch y' long 'nough that y' wind up in a coma like Carol. It wiped a lot o' her memories." She cleared her throat and stepped back from him. "A few reasons. One, she's just way too bright an' peppy. She doesn't seem t' have any part o' her that c'n relate t' someone who has darkness in 'em."

Rogue: "Two, she didn't like that I was protective of Rachel. Thought Ah was attackin' her 'cause Ah gave her th' standard warnin' that Ah do when someone dated Rae. She was like mah baby sister. Ah was even nicer t' Paige than Ah was t' any o' tha boys Rae dated an' she still felt attacked. What a fuckin' joke."

Bobby: "She's... sensitive, and I think Eve made it worse." He sighed. "She was one of the only people who could accept my... darkness. After X-Force." Bobby shrugged one shoulder and smirked. "I don't think we ever determined you'd really be able to do that to me, babe."

Rogue: Rogue's jaw clenched and she turned around, unable to look at him. "X-Force." X-Force had started because she and Bobby were determined to protect Rachel. And because of that, it led Bobby right into Paige's arms. Full fucking circle. "Ah'm glad y' had someone then."

Bobby: Bobby swallowed, watching her tense back. "Yeah. It should have been you."

Rogue: That made her chest tighten and she took a shallow breath. "But it wasn't. Ah couldn't give y' sunshine. Ah cain't give anyone sunshine. Ah'm too dark mah own self."

Bobby: "No, you're not." He closed his eyes. "I didn't really need sunshine, I needed my best friend. I..." Fucking hell this was a terrible idea, but since it was truth time... "I love you the way you are... why else do you piss me off so much?"

Rogue: "Then why..." she stopped and cleared her throat, swiping at her eyes for good measure before turning around to face him. "Why did ya go f'r her?" Rogue wanted to smile at his admission, but wasn't able to get more than a quirk of her lips. "'Cause y' hate th' way Ah am?"

Bobby: He hated the tears in her eyes and knowing he was the cause. The urge to comfort her was strong, but if he touched her, he'd kiss her again. "Because you were always way out of my league? Because you were still mourning Sam? Because of Essex? Because... I never thought you'd see me that way."

Rogue: "Ah'm not outta anybody's league. Ah'll always be mournin' Sam. Essex... Ah get that one..." She swallowed hard and took a tiny step towards him. "Ah've seen y' that way since mah birthday in y'r hometown."

Bobby: Bobby had to sit down again at this news, spelled out right in front of him. "Anna..." His voice came out strangled and he shook his head in disbelief.

Rogue: "There's always been somethin', Bobby..." She shrugged, not sure what else to say on the matter, and just watched him. This had been a terrible idea. She hoped Carol had had better luck than she was having right now.

Bobby: "I know," he sighed, smiling a little at his words repeated back to him. "Something, but... I guess I've always been a little dumb, yeah?"

Rogue: Finally, she moved slowly to him, sitting beside him, and putting her hand lightly on his knee. "Y've never been dumb... Ah just... Ah shoulda said somethin' sooner."

Bobby: Bobby took her hand without hesitation, finally looking back up at her with a sad smile.

Rogue: "Whaddya wanna do now?" She gave his hand a small squeeze, wishing she didn't have her gloves on, but knowing that touching his skin right now would lead to more bad decisions.

Bobby: "Well," he said, drawing the word out. "I guess we gotta be adults." Bobby gave her a wink. "Y'know, repress."

Rogue: "Will," she paused and licked her lips, not wanting to ask the question, but knowing she needed to, "will things be diff'rent with us now?"

Bobby: "As much as I don't want them to be, I think we'll have to just... be more careful." He swallowed, debating if the feelings would fade. Doubtful.

Rogue: "Things were easier when Ah just let y' think Ah was teasin' all th' time, huh?" Rogue watched her thumb as it ran back and forth against his hand. "Ah guess... if y' ever find yaself single again, now ya know..."

Bobby: Bobby had to laugh at that. "Now I know," he agreed. Fucking hell.

Rogue: "Do y' wanna... un...know?"

Bobby: "No," he said, shaking his head. "No, I don't..."

Rogue: That shocked her a bit and she looked up at his face, "Ya don't?"

Bobby: "No. Even though it hurts... it's good to know that it wasn't just me."

Rogue: "It wasn't just you," she whispered. Rogue shifted her torso to face him, bringing her free hand up to touch his face. "It never was."

Bobby: Bobby closed his eyes to savor her touch. He could hate himself later for it, but for now... he swallowed and covered her hand with his own.

Rogue: While his eyes were closed, Rogue couldn't resist leaning in and pressing her forehead to his, closing her own eyes. "Y're perfect, Bobby. Y' deserve t' be happy. Go be happy..." She felt like she just stuck a knife in her own heart, but she couldn't have him...Why should he be miserable, too?

Bobby: "Back at'cha, Anna Marie." It would be so easy to move just an inch and kiss her again. If he did it, he wouldn't want to stop there, and Paige deserved better. Paige, and Zachary, and Ripley.

Rogue: Rogue wanted to close the distance so much that she couldn't breathe. It would be the most natural thing in the world to kiss him right now... And then she heard her full name and her heart tightened. "Tony... Damnit." Reluctantly, she took her hand from his face and pulled back. "We're two o' th' most awful people on th' planet, aren't we?"

Bobby: Tony. Right. Bobby winced and took a full step away, toward her door. "Nah, babe, we've met real monsters... we're just human."

Rogue: She didn't want him to go... This was killing her. Rogue involuntarily took a step towards him, reaching out without thinking about it. "Ah hate this... Ah'm sorry."

Bobby: He sighed and took her hand. "I know, babe. We'll be okay." They really didn't have any other choice.

Rogue: "Just okay? Why cain't we ever be more'n okay?" Life had been 'okay' since Sam died and Rogue was ready for it to be better than that.

Bobby: Bobby just gave her a sad smile and squeezed her hand. "I know, babe," he repeated.

Rogue: With her free hand, she brushed her thumb over his lower lip, watching as it traced the unhappy lines. She let her eyes drift up to his after a moment and mirrored the sad smile back to him. "Ah'm glad y' don't hate me at least."

Bobby: "I could never, Anna." Bobby moved his head enough to kiss her thumb.

Rogue: "Glad of it." Without thinking, Rogue took her thumb from his kiss and kissed it herself, then pressed it back to his mouth. "See y' round?"

Bobby: "Always, babe." He caught her hand with his free one and kissed it, then let go of her, turning to the door.

Rogue: "G'bye, Bugsy... Don't snitch on me." Rogue watched as he got to the door and collapsed to sit back down on her bed. This... This sucked.

Bobby: "Ain't no stool pigeon, Dollface." He gave her a wink and closed the door. In the hall, he took a deep breath before he could go on.

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