10/1 Issue: Worst Case Scenario

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10/1 Issue: Worst Case Scenario

Post by Slarti » Fri Oct 01, 2021 7:30 pm

Timelined a few days or so after Penis and All, wherever it works.

Jeannie: Jean could tell Jamie was slowly dying inside, but she was having a great time, dammit. They were back in New York, zipping along the interstate on the way to her parents' house. The Hudson valley was beautiful - way prettier than Kansas, tyvm. She hummed along to the song on the radio and gave her tense fiance a mental hug. It's fiiiiiine. You're fiiiiiine.

Jamie: Jamie shot her a look that said things were anything but fine and he rolled his shoulders in his trench, trying for the umpteenth time to sit up straight in the tiny car. "I can't fit in this thing. Why didn't you let me drive? Baby would make a great impression."

Jeannie: "She would, but you don't know where you're going." Also, she kind of wanted to be able to keep him captive in case he pulled a runner on her. She patted the dash. "This thing! Don't hurt her feels!"

Jamie: "Sorry," he mumbled to the car, rubbing the glove compartment with his knee since they were nearly in his chest anyway. It was a thing. A tiny thing. That he couldn't fit in. "I could just let you take a dupe inside... Test the waters... Reabsorb him to know what I'm in for..."

Jeannie: "Um. No." Jean looked over at him with her serious business frown. "You. I'm marrying you." Dumbass.

Jamie: "I never said I wouldn't meet them! A dupe would just be like dipping a toe in the water to test the temperature before you dive in and freeze so much that your dick shrinks inside instead of just shrivels."

Jeannie: "Well that wouldn't get you out of it either since I like girls too! So ner!" She was still staring at him, driving with her teke.

Jamie: "Babe! That's not...!" He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to erase that image from his mind. A pretty girl he did not make. Euargh... "How much longer?"

Jeannie: Jean looked up at the road, then around. "About 15 minutes, unless you want to see Bard first. Or I can lap the block six times and let you stake out the house." An image of a girl version of Jamie was dancing in her head now. Literally. Hot? Disturbing? Both.

Jamie: "Wait, really? You'd let me do that?" He tried to sit up in slight excitement, but was hindered again by his height.

Jeannie: She laughed, looking back over at him when he perked up. "Sure? We can, if it'll make you feel better."

Jamie: "You know I love a good stake out, babe!" Jamie leaned the one singular inch over and pressed a noisy kiss to her cheek. "I love you. You're the best!"

Jeannie: "I know you do," she giggled, scrunching her face at the wet scratchy kiss. Her makeup! "Love you too! I mean... I used to have to check out the situation before I sneaked back in when I was a teenager, soooo..."

Jamie: "The scandal," he mock gasped and covered his chest with a bent hand. "Sneaking out?! You?! NEVER."

Jeannie: "Neeever." She was laughing now, and reached over to squeeze his knee, which was against the dash. Maybe she did need a bigger car.

Jamie: "You were the good child and I was the renegade, right? Is that how we need to play this?" Jamie's hand curled around hers and brought it up to his mouth, kissing the backs of her fingers. "Or do I need to charm your mom before I make your dad bring out the shotgun?"

Jeannie: "We don't have shotguns! You're not in Kansas anymore, Toto!" Jean tangled her fingers with his and gave him another mental hug. "They know I was never the good child," she sighed, still snickering. "That was Sarah. I was a little shit and too smart for my own good."

Jeannie: "She thinks you're an actor, so charm away, babe. It'd probably work." Jean gave him a wink, then a softer look. They were really here. Almost.

Jamie: "Great. Too bad I left my actor dupe in my other pants." Literally. He groaned and gave her hand a squeeze. "She's gonna be so disappointed when she finds out that I'm not that version of me yet."

Jeannie: "I gave them the short explanation of your powers, babe, but fuck knows if they got it." Jean turned onto a residential street and gave Jamie side eye.

Jamie: Crap. This was it, wasn't it? "It's cute?" Now if he could get past the nervous sweating, he'd be able to really enjoy her showing him around. Idea! "Maybe we can sneak in like you used to and have sex in your old bed before they even know we're there."

Jeannie: "Ha! Yeah, that would totally endear you to them, babe!" She thought about it. "They'd think it's par for the course from me, tbh. We're still a couple houses away, so I can park and we could always check it out on foot, or just, y'know, stare at it. Did you bring your detectiving glasses?"

Jamie: "My binoculars? Or the actual glasses glasses?" He tried to wriggle around to reach his bag, but gave up. "Because yes."

Jeannie: She snorfled. Of course he did! Jean slowed the car and pulled in behind the Burns family garage. "Okay, so! Whatcha wanna do?" She cast a glance at her tiny back seat. There would be no shenanigans there. She definitely needed a bigger car.

Jamie: Jamie rolled his eyes innocently away from Jean, "Shoulda brought Babyyyy." He let his eyes slide to her and took a deep breath before turning to face her (as much as was possible) and taking her hand. "Whatever you want to do, I will do. I'm here for you, babe. Nobody else."

Jeannie: "We totally should have," she nodded, snickering. Jean didn't have the same problems in turning to face him, pulling her leg up as she clicked off her seatbelt. "I love you for that," she said, sliding her other hand over his. Everything will be fine. She tried to project some calm at him, wishing she was better at it, or had magic pheromones like Jess.

Jamie: He gave her a smile and leaned over to give her a proper kiss. "I know, babe. I love you, too." Jamie took a deep breath and reached up to play with one of her curls. "If they hate me, we run for it?"

Jeannie: "Absolutely. I'll flip them off and we bolt!" She grinned and stole another kiss, watching him wind a curl around his finger. Yep, that was how this all started. After a moment, she put on her most devious face. "Let's go sneak around."

Jamie: A tiny tug of the curl and another kiss and he was opening the door to get out. Where he very quickly sat down on the ground and stretched his legs out in front of him. "My feet are asleep! I can't sneak in these conditions! Your car hates me more than your parents might!"

Jeannie: "It's not that small! It's a good size!" Jean got out and cloaked them and her car in a bubble to whammy them out of the view of prying eyes, since her man was being a baby.

Jamie: "For someone who is under five-foot-six, sure! For someone over six-feet, never again!" ...How would they get home?! They were trapped here! Wait... Jean can fly! Jamie gave her a toothy grin. "Let's fly home and pick up Baby."

Jeannie: She rounded the car and crossed her arms, looking down at him. "You're not that tall, Shaq!" The grin made her laugh and lose her mock-stern face, shaking her head. "You never give up." Jean extended a hand to him and wriggled her fingers. "Up!"

Jamie: Jamie groaned dramatically and took her hand, acting like he was going to get up before he actually pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and burying his nose in her hair near her ear. "Mmm. Down."

Jeannie: "Jamie!" She flailed and landed in his lap, then sighed and made herself comfortable. "You're so lucky you're cute."

Jamie: "The absolute cutest, Jeannie," he confirmed with a whisper in her ear. "Nobody can see us, right? So, we could totally have sex right here and now and no one would know."

Jeannie: Jean was half annoyed and half turned on. "Uuuugh, we so could. Ooooor, we could go christen the shed behind the house where I used to keep my bikes..."

Jamie: "Whatever gets my blood pumping again from being trapped in your sardine can." Jamie instantly covered his head with his arms, ready for retaliation, but laughing at his own humor.

Jeannie: "Oh, I can get your blood pumping." With his hands up, she went for his sides and tickled his ribs.

Jamie: "Ack!" Jamie squeaked and giggled and writhed, trying to squirm away from her pokey claws that knew exactly where to press for the girly sounds. "Alright, alright! I give! We can go in!"

Jeannie: Jean did love making his voice go up like that. Comedy gold! She needed to record it sometime. "Oh no, we're investigating, mister detective." She stilled her fingers but kept them on his tickle buttons. "I'll be your hot assistant. We'll scout the property, maybe sneak into my old room..."

Jamie: Jamie grinned, "It's like you know the way to my heart or something." He gently stood her up and then got to his feet, turning around to offer his back to her. "Piggy back ride? Less feet on the ground is always better."

Jeannie: She decided not to point out that she could fly them, since it was always fun for him to carry her. "I might have an idea or two..." Jean did use her teke to hoist herself up, wrapping her arms around his neck for a backward chokehold huggle.

Jamie: "Yeah, you do." He tipped his head to the side to catch her cheek with the corner of his lips then looked back towards the destination. After a deeeeeeeep breath, he set off, taking careful steps to make sure he wouldn't trip or make noise. "Which is the best way to get to your bedroom?"

Jeannie: "Like, around back, along the treeline, ooooor, circle the neighbor's house and come back beside the canal and hide behind the shed until the coast is clear." Jean nodded hard enough to swish her hair into his face.

Jamie: Treeline or canal... Jamie thought this over for a few moments, then gave his own hard nod, spitting her hair out without a second thought when it got in his mouth. "Trees are easier to hide behind if the need arises. The risk of being close to the house is big, but since the trees make good cover, it's negligible."

Jeannie: "Wow, look at you being all detectivey and tactical and shit! I'm impressed!" She gave him a squeeze with her legs this time. "Giddyup!"

Jamie: Jamie obliged with a whinny and started forward. "Babe... did you forget that this is how I make a living? Detectivey and tactical and shit pays the bills." Once they got closer to the house, he went a bit slower, hoping no one was looking out any windows. "It would help a lot, though, if you could make us invisible."

Jeannie: "I know, but I don't always see you doing it." Which went back to her opinion that what he did was either boring or hot with very little in between. But hey! "We are invisible. At least to my folks. I already scrambled their brains."

Jamie: "Is that... a good idea?" All Jamie could picture was Jean in a cute little chef outfit holding a giant glass bowl with liquid brains in it. And then there was the salad tong sized fork she was using to scramble them while she sang a happy tune, of course.

Jeannie: Jean absolutely saw that and was so startled she immediately giggle-snorted in his ear. "OMG! Not like that! I just suggested that they see nothing weird outside!" Or hear it, since she was being hella loud.

Jamie: Phew! No scrambled in-laws. And no fiancee doing that to her own parents to boot. He gave a nervous laugh. "I knew that..." Did not. Shut up. "So... are we invisible invisible? Or do they see like... the mailman or something?"

Jeannie: "I can make us birds. That'd be fun!" Although, since she was on his back, they were frisky birds. "Maybe we're rabbits?"

Jamie: "And you're the buck? No thanks." Jamie screwed up his nose at that thought. He weaved them in and out of the trees, careful to not make too much noise. Even though it didn't matter. Maybe. "How do you climb up to your room?"

Jeannie: "Awwww, damn. There goes my plan to talk you into some kinky shit." She looked toward the house and stiffened up when she saw a curtain move.

John: "What time did she say they were coming?" John Grey had already finished his third cup of coffee, and looked out the window for something to do.

Elaine: Elaine sipped her iced coffee and scrolled through Pinterest in an attempt to distract herself from looking at the clock. Today was the day they were going to meet the imaginary boyfriend. They should have booked a therapist. She glanced up at John's question and frowned because she was trying not to think about the time. "Soon," she settled on. It was probably right.

Jamie: Jamie frowned when he felt her stiffen and he froze. What's wrong? Oh. That's wrong. Jamie was staring directly at the face of who he assumed was Jean's dad. Ohhh boy.

Jeannie: He can't see us. Jean was panicking just a little but trying not to, working to hold an image in her father's head. It's fine, just keeeeep going.

John: His eyes caught a flash of motion and his eyebrows rose. "We better not let the dog out. There are some rabbits making more rabbits by the trees."

Elaine: Elaine's nose wrinkled, "As long as they don't eat my plants..."

Jamie: Jamie started forward, still looking at her dad's face. He sees us! There was no way he couldn't see them! He was staring at them! Run! Jamie made a noise and took off, arms wrapped tightly around Jean's thighs to hold her up.

John: "Never mind, they went toward the Richardson's house." He dropped the curtain and looked back at his wife. The dog was curled up at her feet, sound asleep. Good. Less yapping.

Jeannie: He does not! There's no way! She squeaked and clung to him as he bounced across the yard.

Jamie: Jamie glanced over his shoulder and saw that the curtain had dropped, so he stopped and took a deep breath. "Babe. BABE. What if he did?!"

Jeannie: Jean gave him a pet, then smoothed back his hair, because wow. Crazy got crazier real fast. "He sooo did not. TBH, even if he did, which he did not he's my dad so he's totes seen me do weirder things." Just in case, she prodded his brain. "Nope. He saw..." Rabbits fucking. Welp. "Nothing!"

Jamie: "...then why did I run?" Ugh. Now he had to head back towards the house. "How do we get up to your room," he asked again. "I need a nap now."

Jeannie: "I don't know! You did it, not me!" She giggled at him and went for another pet. "I used to climb a tree before I had teke, 'cause it's on the second floor." Jean showed him the way via brain smoosh.

Jamie: To the tree! Jamie looked around for the tree and galloped over to it. "Alien tomatoes first?"

Jeannie: "All the tomatoes." She lifted them off the ground.

Jamie: Whoaaa. Never get used to it. Never ever. He grinned when he thought about his discussion with Bobby and reached around to pinch Jean's ass. "Do I need to pick the lock on the window?"

Jeannie: "NGL that might be kinda hot to watch, buuuut..." Jean brought her eyes level to the locking mechanism and stared at it. The locks clicked open and she leaned to kiss his cheek. "I can do it toooo."

Jamie: Jamie pouted. "Spoiling my fuuuun." He leaned to open the window with one hand and peeked inside. WOW. "You've not changed much, huh?" Lots of pink. Of all shades.

John: The dog looked up, head cocked as he listened to something. Already on his fourth cup of coffee, he looked out the window again.

Jeannie: "Heeeeeeey. I decorated this room when I was fifteen!" She floated free of him and used him as a step ladder to climb into the window, since he was gonna be that way.

Elaine: Elaine looked down at the dog as he made a questioning sound, "What's the matter, sweetie? You wanna chase those naughty rabbits?"

John: The little fluffy fox-like dog sniffed the air.

Jamie: "...naughty. Rabbits? JEAN." Jamie narrowed his eyes at her ass and jumped through the window, tackling her to the bed. "I'll show you naughty."

Jeannie: "If the bunny fits?" She giggled and winced when the springs on the bed creaked under the added weight.

Jamie: Jamie froze and sucked in a breath through his teeth, waiting for the creaking to stop. "We can't have sneaky sex on this bed... Ever. Was that your parents intention?"

Jeannie: "...in high school, it probably was." She twisted slowly from her awkward position and looked up at him with a sheepish grin. "We can find pleeenty of other places for sneaky sex."

Jamie: "Did that a lot, didja?" He laughed and ducked his head to nibble on the ticklish part of her collarbone. "And here I am not knowing how to have sex in high school, let alone ever needing to be sneaky about it."

Jeannie: "You know I did," she giggled, squirming. "Hey I took care of you as soon as I could." Like, on their first date. Jean wriggled enough to roll over and face him, draping her arms around his neck.

Jamie: Jamie gave her a slow grin, remembering just how she took care of him. Helluva way to end a first date. "Best night ever. Almost."

Jeannie: She rubbed the side of her foot against his leg. "Almost?" she agreed with a laugh. Craning her neck up, she went for a kiss.

John: The dog was still sniffing, making little boofing noises under his breath.

Elaine: Elaine blinked at the dog, "What is it? Go get it!" she set her tablet down to get the dog excited about the thing.

Jamie: "Best night goes to our reunion," he murmured right before their lips met. It was a personal goal to try and top that night. Maybe their wedding night? Maybe right now? No time like the present to try for it. Jamie slid his hand along her side, tracing her curves slowly.

Jeannie: She smiled into the kiss. That one was pretty good, she agreed, following the general train of his thoughts. No time like the present indeed! Jean lifted them both off the creaky bed for some fun in the air.

John: With a bark, Pumpkin the Pomsky hopped to his feet and started to dance, jumping at Elaine excitedly.

Elaine: "What's that sound? What's that sound?" Elaine happily stirred that excitement pot, "Go get it! Go get it!"

John: The dog bounced in a circle, yapping, then ran, not for the door, but the stairs.

Elaine: How did the rabbits get in the house?! Elaine followed the dog to investigate.

Jamie: His hands slid to cup her ass since he could reach both cheeks now that they were flying. So cool. Jamie nipped at her lower lip and pulled her tight against him with a small groan. Quiet, Madrox!

John: He decided it was high time for more coffee, going to the kitchen to start a new pot.

Jeannie: Jean moaned into his mouth, focused entirely on him and the feel of him against her in her childhood bedroom. Fuuuuck, this was awesome!

Jeannie: Outside the door, the little dog stopped at the top of the stairs and sniffed again, then scrambled off down the hall.

Elaine: Elaine hurried up the last few steps so she didn't lose sight of Pumpkin. Where was he going?

Jamie: Oh yeah. This was the best night so far. If I let go of you to take off my shirt, will I fall? Her powers didn't work like Rogue's right? They didn't have to be holding on because alien tomatoes. Right?

Jeannie: Nope, because alien tomatoes rock! For her part, Jean was happy she wore a dress.

Jeannie: Pumpkin stopped outside Jean's bedroom door and sniffed at the crack, then looked back at Elaine.

Elaine: Elaine was confused. Why did Pumpkin want to go into Jean's room? Did he lose a toy in there? She decided to just open the door and let him look around.

Jamie: Jamie decided shirt was too difficult and required too many steps, so put his hands to better use and reached under her skirt to shimmy her panties off... Riiight when the door opened. "Hey! A little pri...Oheyit'syourmomJeanniecansheseeus?!"

Jeannie: Jean eeped, froze, then opened her mouth to start babbling an excuse. Theeeen she remembered she was a telepath. I don't think so?

Elaine: "Go on, find your toy...." Elaine gave Pumpkin permission with a gesture.

Jamie: "DOGGO!" Jamie grinned. "Whatagoodboyyyy!" FOCUS. Hands. In her pant...ies. Panties. He turned a wolfish grin back to Jean. "She can't see us or hear us. Hot."

Jeannie: Jean laughed, but it was a little high. She can't, but the dog can! Master of memory that she was, she'd forgotten her parents had a new dog. It was so cute tho!

Jamie: Oh. Uh oh. Make him not? Jamie side-eyed the dog. "I am not your toy. Shoo!"

Jeannie: Pumpkin was circling the bed, squeaking with excitement.

Jeannie: OMG he's way cuter in person! Jean delved into his little doggie brain and... did he think they were rabbits too?!

Elaine: Elaine was getting even more confused. She entered the room and went to lift the pillows to see if there was a ball under there somewhere.

Jamie: Jamie's hands were still wrapped in the sides of Jean's panties, but he was slowly starting to realize that this was not going to happen. Especially since her mom came further into the room. He groaned in frustration and let his forehead fall to her shoulder. Whyyyyyy?

Jeannie: Reasoning with the dog was also not gonna happen. She tried bribery, but nah, so she just completely erased the dog's memories of the last few moments and hid them from his senses.

Jeannie: OSHIT. Jean floated them away from the bed. If her mom grabbed... anything! She might actually die today.

Jeannie: Pumpkin made a confused noise when his brain was fully washed, running up to Elaine and jumping on the bed.

Elaine: Oh! She laughed, "You cheeky boy! Did you just want to play on your big sister's bed?" She ruffled the little dog's ears.

Jamie: What the actual fuck was happening right now?! Jamie let go of Jean and flailed when the dog got too close. "Jeaaaaaan..."

Jeannie: "Ja-" She flailed when he did, startled, and lost control. "Fuck!" Jean dropped Jamie first, then herself, on top of him, between the window and the bed.

Jamie: "OUCH." Trench coat saves the day. Again.

Elaine: Elaine was startled and she screamed.

Jeannie: Jean decided to scream too.

Jamie: Jamie winced at the scream and clapped a hand over Jean's mouth right as Pumpkin started to howl along. "SHUDDAP!"

Elaine: "What is happening?!" Elaine's verbal flailing did nothing to calm the dog down.

John: He sprinted up the stairs and skidded to a halt in the bedroom door. His wife was screaming, his dog was barking, there was a strange man on the floor.

John: He'd had a lot of coffee, so he tackled the man.

Elaine: Elaine screamed again, grabbing up Pumpkin to protect her, "John!"

Jamie: Jamie reacted on instinct, bringing up his forearm to hit the other man in the throat while he rolled to dump Jean on the floor and shield her at the same time.

Jeannie: "Jamie!" Jean flailed, falling on her ass - again! - with her panties still half down her hips. She looked up at her mom and the dog. Shit! She could see her! "Mom!"

John: His shout for Elaine to call the police was cut off by that arm. He hacked and tried his best to grab the man.

Elaine: "Jean!" Elaine tried to take in the scene in front of her. "What are you doing in here?!"

Jeannie: "It's my room!" She scrambled to right herself.

Jamie: Jamie twisted into the grab instead of away, knowing that was what was expected. "CUTITOUT!"

Elaine: "You broke in!" Elaine tried to close Pumpkin's mouth for a second so she could think. "Shh, baby, mommy's talking."

Jeannie: "I did not!" They so did, but hey. Jean shut the dog's mouth for him and turned her attention to Jamie and her dad. "OH MY GOD! Don't hurt him!" She flailed and froze them both in place.

John: He caught a fist full of the burglar's coat and his wrist, but found himself unable to move, nearly face to face with... the boy from Jean's pictures.

Elaine: "You sure as heck didn't knock on the front door!" Elaine would have remembered that.

Jamie: Jamie was trapped in a snarl at Jean's dad and was kind of embarrassed about it. Jean... babe... lemmegobeforeIdieofhumiliation?

Jeannie: Jean managed to yank up her underwear and tried to remember if she'd teked Jamie's zipper open. She hopped to her feet and released them, catching them both to lower them slowly before they fell on their asses.

Jeannie: She stepped up behind Jamie and set her hand on his shoulder. "Um... mom, dad... thiiiis is Jamie. Hi?"

John: His ass landed on the bedroom floor and he looked up at "Jean?!"

Jamie: Jamie started to flail only to realize he didn't have to because Jean had stopped his fall. He grinned up at her from his seat on the floor. "Thanks, babe." Wait. He slowly turned his head to look at the two adultier adults in the room. Way to go, Madrox. Totally screwed this up worse than originally feared. "Heh."

Jamie: He gave a weak wave. "Hiii... Nice to meet you?"

Elaine: Elaine didn't know what to say to any of this. She decided she was 'thirsty' and took Pumpkin with her.

Jamie: This was going swimmingly. She left. Dumbass. Of course she left! Jamie heaved a sigh.

Jeannie: Well, this was going great! Her mom was already on the way out the door and she could feel Jamie panicking at her feet.

John: Jamie. This was the...? Huh. He wasn't imaginary. Definitely solid. "It's nice... to meet you?" John started to put his hand out to shake hands, then thought better of it and brought it to his throat while he pried himself off the floor.

Jeannie: "Um. I know this looks bad, but it was entirely my idea."

Jamie: Jamie winced when her dad touched his throat. "Sorry about that... I can help you make sure it doesn't swell if you want? I'm a licensed EMT." He stood and pulled Jean into his side. "It was purely reflexive that I did that. Nothing personal..."

Jeannie: I can totally wipe the last five minutes. She slid her arm around him, beneath his coat. Dammit, she wanted her parents to like him! Not just for herself, but because he wanted it. Feels were so weird!

John: "I guess I understand. You were trying to protect yourself, as a burglar does..." He wasn't truly angry since he was too shocked.

Jamie: "Well, and Jean. Because... it's Jean." His shoulders rolled and he cleared his throat. "I, um. I also don't have a very good history of being attacked. Bad things tend to happen. So, um. ...Yeah."

John: "Yeah..." What did that mean? He sized the guy up and his eyes fell on Jean. "Hello, Jeannie... you could have called ahead."

Jeannie: Jean winced. "We thought we'd make it a surprise?" I'm serious. I can wipe it. Wiiiiiipe.

John: He laughed. "It is that. I'm... going to get some coffee. I suppose you should come down."

Jamie: "Heh. Yes, sir." He seems ...okay? Not like he's about to murder me for molesting you?

Jeannie: I've been molested? No! He's seen worse? Also not right. OMG, forget I said any of that. She watched her dad exit the room and turned to bury her flame-red face against his chest. "Fuuuuck me."

Jamie: "That's what I was trying to do..." Jamie hugged her tight and took a a deep breath. "I've already fucked this up, haven't I?"

Elaine: Elaine was sipping her now more adult iced coffee and feeding Pumpkin treats because the happy dance made her feel better. She was going to pretend upstairs didn't happen, yes she was!

Jeannie: "No, I did." She stayed in the hug, trying to project reassurance that she really didn't feel. Mindwipe is still an option...

John: As he started down the stairs he heard their exchange and sighed to himself.

Jamie: "No. Don't mindwipe your parents. I can do this... Just like any normal human man meeting his future in-laws for the first time." WAIT. "You did tell them we're engaged right?!"

Jeannie: "...I told them we're going to be engaged." She winced and looked up at him. "That we were committed, remember? The whole... Arcade thing," she shuffled her feet and looked behind him at the wall. "I just... they wouldn't understand."

Jamie: Jamie sighed and held her tighter. "You don't know that, babe. They might. And I'm here to help. I can see every possibility, remember?" He moved his hand to her chin to tip her head up to him and he leaned down to give her a tender kiss. "I love you, Jeannie. We're in this together."

Jeannie: "Yeah we are," she said quietly, closing her eyes. Whatever her parents did, or said, they'd be fine. Jean took a deep breath and squeezed him, then took his hand to go downstairs.

John: On his way past his wife to get coffee, he paused. "Do I smell vodka?"

Elaine: "Do you want to smell vodka?" Elaine asked in reply, then continued telling Pumpkin what a good boy he was.

Jamie: Time for the second first impression. Is that a thing? It has to be a thing. It better be a thing. Jamie swallowed hard and let Jean lead him down the stairs.

John: "I think we all may need to smell vodka." He went to go make his own spiked coffee.

Elaine: "It works better if you drink it," Elaine sing-songed.

Jeannie: Jean paused at the bottom of the stairs, giving Jamie room to stand with her. "Um, we could go outside and knock?" She was only half joking.

Jamie: "Yep. That sounds like a great idea." He dragged her towards the door then realized he didn't know where he was going and let her take the lead again.

John: "Don't be silly, Jean," he called from the kitchen. "We're all adults here. We can pretend none of that just happened, right? Do you want a drink? Either of you?"

Elaine: Elaine was teaching Pumpkin to pirouette and sipping her vodka-iced-coffee.

Jamie: "Um." Jamie looked to Jean for confirmation on either of those things her dad said. Can they pretend? Can they have a drink? Would that be weird? ...Er. WeirdER.

Jeannie: Jean chewed her lip for a moment. "Yes." Fuck yes, being drunk could only help, and it looked like her mom was halfway there already. She squeezed Jamie's hand and started for the sofa. "Yeah, we'll have whatever you're having."

Elaine: If she did a pirouette did she get a treat too? Elaine decided yes and had more of her drink. "Like this, baby!"

Jamie: "Thanks," Jamie managed. Why was her mom doing ballet? What was happening? Is this what normal families did when they caught their child having sex?

Jeannie: Catching the gist of his thoughts, she leaned into his side. For this family? Yeaaaah.

John: He returned to the living room with a tray of spiked coffee and spared barely a glance at the dancing wife and dog. "Here we are..."

Jeannie: Jean picked up a mug and gave her dad a sheepish smile.

Jamie: Jamie mirrored Jean and took a mug. "Thanks," he repeated. Parrot, much? Use the words of a normal human! "Lovely house, Mister and Missus Grey." NORMAL human. UGH.

Elaine: Elaine sighed and gave Pumpkin a fuss before she ended training time and went to sit down near her husband. She could pretend this was normal. Yes.

John: "Thank you, eh..." John knew Jean had told them the man's name, and he'd heard it earlier, but it wasn't forthcoming now. Instead, he took a mug and put down the tray. "Have a seat..."

Jeannie: Jean was pretty sure she was slowly dying. She looked at her mom, then her dad, then Jamie, then just sat down. Oh God.

Jamie: Jamie sat next to Jean and took a large drink from his mug, which he promptly burned himself with. Owowowowowowowow. He smiled and hid the pain as best as he could. "So. Um." Ow. Ow ow ow. "Hi?"

Jeannie: Jean made a strangled noise and grabbed for her throat, shooting him a confused look.

John: "Hi. Again." He sat down with Elaine, giving her a look and blowing on the hot coffee. He should have taken a shot in the kitchen.

Elaine: Elaine was pleased with her smarts for putting her vodka in her iced coffee. She smiled at the two sitting across from them, "So... how was your drive?" They weren't ready for not-small-talk yet.

Jamie: Jamie gave Jean an apologetic look. Hot, burn, bad? "Long and squeeshed."

Jeannie: Jean cleared her throat and searched for his hand on the cushion beside her. "I drove. He's kind of tall for my car..." She licked her lips and took a steadying breath. "Mom, dad, this is Jamie Madrox. I should have told you more about him a long, long time ago."

Elaine: "Well why didn't you?" Maaaaybe too much vodka.

Jamie: Jamie gave her hand a squeeze. Together, they could do anything. Even face off with her parents. "Because I'm famous?"

Jeannie: Whaaaaaat? Jean's head slowly turned to look at the love of her life. Her eyes bugged. Whaaaaaat?

John: He nearly fumbled his cup, but recovered just in time. "You're..."

Jamie: I panicked! "On television. Yep. A soap opera." Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

John: "Elaine did mention something," he said, giving his wife a look.

Jeannie: You think?! Fuck. "Yep, he's... multi-talented?"

Elaine: "Yes! It's a period drama!" Elaine enthused, "He's very good!"

Jamie: "I also am an EMT, as I mentioned. And a detective. And a dog trainer. And a pilot. And..." Shutting up now. He slumped a little into his jacket and stared down into his mug. Period drama? Why was his dupe doing that now? He needed to come home instead of start a new show, dammit!

John: "That's some resume," he said, giving Jean a questioning look.

Jeannie: "Yeah! Um, we established he's a mutant too, and his power is, uh, multiplying?" Fuck.

Elaine: Elaine's eyes widened. That was a lot of jobs. Wait. "Multiplying?"

Jamie: Fuck. "Duplicating?" Was that a better word? "Cloning." NOPE. "Xeroxing?"

John: "You know what a Xerox machine is?" He liked this kid already.

Jeannie: "Babe... show them?" Jean squeezed his hand and looked over at him. It couldn't get any weirder anyway, so this was probably the faster way to do it.

Jamie: Ugh. Probably easier that way. He gave her dad a weird look, "Yes? I know what a lot of things are?" Jamie kissed the back of Jean's hand and stood up to step away from everybody before shedding his coat. He draped it over the arm of the couch and stomped his foot once. The dupe bowed in a flourish and Prime groaned. Of course it would be a hoity-toity one.

Elaine: Eeeeeee! That was weird!

John: He shoved his cup into Elaine's hands and jumped to his feet to check this out. "That's amazing."

Jeannie: Jean was watching her parents' reaction, then noticed the dupe was bowing and giggled. "Jamies, this is John and Elaine, my parents."

Elaine: Elaine managed not to spill the coffee on the carpet somehow and put it on the coffee table with a reproachful look at her husband.

Jamie: "What a pleasure to make your acquaintance! I do hope we're able to get to know one another better forthwith!" Jamie absorbed the dupe by way of a smack upside the head. "Sorry about that... I don't get to pick which facet of my personality comes out." He stomped again for Dr. Grey's benefit, producing a different dupe who glowered at the room. Yeah, Prime didn't want to be here either.

John: "They're different facets of your personality?" He jumped back a little when one man vanished and another appeared, waving a hand at his foot. "And that triggers an external manifestation of your psyche?"

Jamie: Whoa. Jamie had never had anyone understand that bit without having to explain it. "Um. Yes. Not just the foot, though. Any impact that is enough force." To demonstrate, Jamie Prime walked over to the wall and bumped it with his shoulder. The dupe who came out this time walked over and picked up Prime's discarded coffee.

Elaine: Oh! There was another one! And John was going all SCIENCE! Elaine needed more coffee.

Jeannie: Jean smiled up at the dupe who claimed the coffee.

Jamie: Coffee dupe slid onto the couch and grinned at Jean. "Hi. Can we take a nap yet? It's already been such a long day." Prime frowned at that dupe. "No. You can't nap yet because I can't nap yet. And you're me." The dupe responded by waving his hand in dismissal at Prime, causing Prime to pinch the bridge of his nose. Why?

Jeannie: "I could totally go for a nap, but we're meeting my parents, remember?" She shook her head at the dupe, but leaned to put her head on his shoulder anyway. "Before you ask, they're all him."

John: "That is one of the most interesting mutant powers I've heard of," he admitted, not entirely sure he was talking to the right one.

Jamie: The dupe blinked at him, unimpressed, and thumbed over to Prime. "I don't give two shits what you think. He will." Prime pinched harder. Fucking hell. Prime looked up with a sheepish smile. "It's... something." He quickly reabsorbed both dupes and made for his trench coat again. "I've had it since birth. Mom and Dad thought it was radiation that caused it at first. Didn't know what 'mutant' was until I was in my teens."

John: "Radiation?" His attention snapped back to the man in the coat.

Jeannie: Sad she'd lost her dupe, Jean held out her hand for Jamie to sit with her again.

Jamie: Jamie accepted the hand and sat back down. "My parents were nuclear scientists."

John: "Really?" He looked between the young man and his daughter, then back. "Were?"

Elaine: Elaine gave Jean a small smile. John seemed to have made a new friend.

Jamie: "Were," he confirmed with a nod. "When they thought it might be radiation poisoning, they moved us from New Mexico up to a farm in Kansas. Dad created the tech that works in my coats and shirts to keep me from duping on accident. A freak tornado killed them both when I was fifteen."

Jeannie: Jean knew her mom hated it when she talked in her head, so she just smiled back and snuggled into Jamie's side, hoping she got the fucking hint. She was happy. Be happy for her!

John: "I'm sorry to hear that." He glanced at Jean, then back. "Fifteen is a difficult age to find yourself alone... is that how you came to Xavier's school?"

Jamie: "Um. No." Oh man. This story was even worse than the dupe debacle of two minutes ago. "I ran the farm on my own until I was in my early twenties. Well, all of mes. Then I moved to New York City to pursue becoming a private investigator. We had some complaints about the school being a cult." Fucking hell. "My boss didn't want to take any of the calls, so I sent a dupe out to check on things... He got caught."

Jeannie: Although Jean knew this story, she was curious to hear him tell it to them. "This was way before my time," she clarified. In fact, she was probably at Olympic training camp, before the involuntary brainwashing. Grr.

John: "A cult?" He smirked. That sounded about right, yes.

Jamie: "Cult or Jehovah's Witness compound. One of the two." Jamie gave Jean a look at the mental growling. What was happening? Was Pumpkin about to attack something? His head whipped around to look for the dog. No... Huh. "But, because he got caught, I got a phone call... And had to go pick me up. That was how I found out about mutants. Like, I know it was on the news, but I didn't have much in the way of television. Just a VCR and old movies."

Jeannie: She looked around because he did. What? The dog was curled up near her mom, nomming on a toy. Cute! "Jehovah's Witnesses have compounds?" She couldn't help herself.

John: "We knew because of my brother's daughter, of course. Did you get to meet Rachel?"

Jeannie: Jean held back her snort. Barely.

Jamie: "I did." Jamie rolled his shoulders in his coat. "Rachel was... Nice." Never speak ill of the dead. "We played games together." And got high together.

John: He noted that pause. He thought Rachel was nice, alright.

Jeannie: You saw her tits before mine! she sing-songed.

Jamie: And Paige's. Are we really gonna go there in front of your parents, babe?

Jeannie: I mean, we could. Maybe it's opposite day and we see how bad we can make this? She rested her head against him and squeezed his hand.

Jamie: He turned his head to kiss the top of hers and grinned. Not on your life.

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