4/30 Issue: Pancake Surprise

[Slarti]

Timelined a few days after Plan B... Possibly C.

Carol: After doing what had become a daily task in her current hiding house - checking she hadn't broken any of the AI while she was asleep and having the not so fun dreams, Carol applied sweatpants to her sleeping nerd shirt and headed downstairs.

Carol: Coffee machine doing coffee machine things with nice coffee things, she now found the ingredients for pancakes - one of the only two breakfast foods she could cook.... and also one of the only two foods she could cook and got to work.

Shinobi: Obi had to admit it was nice to have someone else with a pulse in the house. The AIs were practical, and helpful, but got boring fast. After one time asking Carol if she was okay upon hearing noises from her room, he'd learned his lesson to mind his own business until invited otherwise.

Shinobi: Dressed for the office, he phased downstairs into the kitchen and solidified in shock. She was cooking. "Hey, good morning. What's the occasion? And should I get a fire extinguisher?"

Carol: "I wanted pancakes... you want some?" She gave him a grin, "I can do this... and french toast. That is the extent of my cooking ability."

Shinobi: "Those aren't bad things to be able to cook," he laughed, headed for the coffee pot. "Sure, I'll have some. Thanks."

Carol: "It took me a while to be able to get them right the first time... and normally I don't bother..." she shrugged a shoulder, "But since I'm here and I feel like your kitchen needs to know what it's for...."

Shinobi: "This kitchen knows its place. Reheating leftovers." He poured himself a cup of wake up and turned to watch her.

Carol: "You heat them up?" She tossed him another grin. Oh right, pancakes needed to go on plates when you were making them for other people.

Shinobi: "If we're feeling fancy," he responded with a grin of his own, moving to open the cabinet with the plates when he saw her searching.

Carol: Plates acquired, she plopped some pancakes on to each of them as they finished up. "Enjoy your surprise pancakes."

Shinobi: "I will, even if we can't find any syrup." He started looking for said syrup, even if it was syrup packets from a restaurant.

Carol: "Pancakes are good with other stuff... but you probably don't have that either." She turned the stove off and helped herself to some coffee on the way to the table.

Shinobi: "Probably not," he laughed, still hunting through takeout packets. After a bit more digging, he came up with a fistful of syrup with a triumphant noise. "Look at that. Hoarding pays off."

Carol: "Woohoo! But we should probably look at getting you some syrup that's not possibly fermented if I'm gonna do this again..." she swapped her coffee for her work tablet to check her emails.

Shinobi: "Eh, nothing wrong with a little fermentation." He set the syrup on the table and picked up his own plate, fetching his own coffee before he sat down, then got back up to get them some silverware.

Carol: "A little bit is okay I guess," she laughed, eyebrows going up at the header on one of her emails. "I don't wanna go to Alaska..." she muttered as she opened the email. Then she dropped her coffee.

Shinobi: Obi jumped and spun from the silverware drawer. "What?!" He took in the spilled coffee and then her ashen face. "What. What's wrong?"

Carol: She groaned and showed him the article Fury had sent her along with his threat, "Why does the universe hate me?"

Shinobi: Obi took the tablet to read the article, eyebrows rising a little at the headline. He scanned the brief piece, looked at the blurry photo of Carol on the doorstep, then shrugged. "Fury is overreacting. We get this shit all the time."

Carol: "Yeah but someone's gonna figure out who I am and it'll get worse before it gets better... and after the past month or so with Rogue..." And now she realised her pants were wet. Sad face.

Shinobi: "Maybe I can get dad to pay them off," he chuckled, only half kidding, and set her tablet down to go get some napkins from the takeout hoard.

Carol: "Maybe..." she decided to use her powers to dry off her pants because the other option was taking them off and she was sure Obi wouldn't appreciate it. There was another email from Fury. She braced herself. "Huh... they might be busy dealing with their own dumpster fire..."

Shinobi: He looked up from sopping up coffee and ceramic shards. "Why, what's up?"
Carol: "Someone found Jess' first boss and the tabloids are all over that..." She turned the tablet around to show him the headlines.

Shinobi: "Jess' first boss..." It took him a moment as he scanned those as well. "Oh. Well, shit. I worry more about that than this," he waved his hand between them and got up to throw away the last of the mess.

Carol: "Yeeeeah... but Fury doesn't pay Jess to keep out of trouble...."

Shinobi: "We could dye your hair red?" He went to pour her a new cup of coffee. The trash story had been quick to point out that the redhead in question, who was always quick on the social media draw, had been silent for some time.

Carol: She wrinkled her nose, "No thanks..." she put her tablet on the table and went to the coffee machine for take two. "Red hair looks better on other people that aren't me."

Shinobi: He handed her the filled cup with a smirk. "Well, then I guess we'll just have to ignore the tabloids. That's what we normally do, after Hope has her fun with them."

Carol: "And Hope isn't here to mess with them so that's going to look weird as hell..." she pushed her free hand through her hair, "I'm sorry..."

Shinobi: He shrugged. "I've learned not to worry about the tabloids. Try not to let it get to you."

Carol: "As long as you promise they're not gonna park their butts outside and lie in wait..." she glanced in the direction of the front door.

Shinobi: "I can't promise they won't try it, but if they do we have lawyers on standby with restraining orders." He gave her a sharky grin.

Carol: She sighed and lifted her mug for a sip of coffee, "It's way too early for this... I'm instating a new rule. No emails before coffee."

Shinobi: "Sounds like a solid plan," he agreed, moving back to the table and their probably cold pancakes. "That's why I don't do social media. I could probably hack Hope's accounts and impersonate her."

Carol: "Do you want to do that?" She followed him back to the table, setting her coffee down to free up both hands so she could heat up both their plates at the same time.

Shinobi: "It could be fun to try to hit her levels of snark." He watched her heat the food, always a little amazed to see powers in use. "Nice."

Carol: "I'm all kinds of useful... even if I'm terrible for your social life and public image...."
Shinobi: "I'm terrible for my public image. Terrorist, remember? Plenty of people still do, presidential pardon or not."

Carol: "You got better though... I get worse," she gave him a small smile, "So at least you've got that going for you."

Shinobi: "It's a work in progress; that's true for everyone, not just me or you." He picked up his fork and finally took a bite of the pancake. "Mmm..."

Carol: That made her laugh, "You're welcome. But don't tell anyone I can cook. It'll totally ruin the image I've spent years cultivating."

Shinobi: "Your secret is safe with me," he said, reaching for the syrup packets with a laugh.
Carol: "That makes you a member of a very exclusive club featuring the person that taught me and my ex-girlfriend," she gave the tablet a hard stare as it made a sound indicating another email had arrived.

Shinobi: "I'm honored," he said, stuffing another bite in his face and then looking at the tablet when it blooped. "Don't," he said around the pancake.

Carol: "What if it's urgent....?" She looked between him and the tablet. Then her phone started ringing. "Uhoh...." She got up to collect it from the counter before it buzzed its way onto the floor. "Oh this really can't be good..."

Shinobi: Obi groaned and decided to take another bite when she went for her phone. He pulled out his own to check the damage on social media.

Carol: She answered the call as she retook her seat, "Hey, Joe... it's early..." she frowned, picking up her tablet and opening her emails, "Oh you saw that, huh? .... There's what? Man these people work fast... No just... close the shades and I'll make some phone calls..."

Shinobi: Scrolling through the feeds, he frowned at the conversation that he couldn't help but hear, watching her as he chewed. Yeah, he was definitely gonna hack Hope's accounts. Or get the AI to do it.

Carol: "He's doing what?! Put him on the phone!" Not enough coffee in the whole world. "Dad. Do not go out there with a shotgun. Just stay in the house and I'll fix it..." She pulled a face at the tirade of abuse that followed her statement that she could 'fix' anything.

Shinobi: He could hear some of what the raised voice on the other end was saying and it drew his attention to watch her. He better get the AI to call the attorneys too...

Carol: "Okay thanks for that reminder... You know what, fine! Go out there and get your ass arrested and take the attention off me. I'll be really grateful." She decided to hang up before she broke something else. "And now you know why I drink."

Shinobi: Obi ordered the AI to contact their on calls. "Just give me the address and I'll add that to the restraining orders," he said, still watching her. "Are you okay?"

Carol: She sighed, picking up her phone to text the address to Obi, "I don't know... I'm sure if he gets a few drinks in him he'll be a lot friendlier with those reporters so I hope your lawyers work fast..."

Shinobi: "As much as we pay them they'd better be fast." He also ordered the AI to run passwords for Hope's Instagram and Twitter.

Carol: "I'm gonna email Fury and ask him to put some people on the house too... it'll make me feel better..." and the day had started so well. "So... how long before your family calls with questions?"

Shinobi: "I already told mom you were staying here," he said, waving that concern away as he took another bite. "I probably should check on them considering... that."

Carol: "Yep..." coffee was not as helpful as scotch for days like these. "On the plus side this might distract everyone from the previous fuck up from me so... that's gotta be good, right?"

Shinobi: He snorted. "That's the spirit," he chuckled, gesturing with his fork. "There's nothing like a new scandal to top an old scandal."

Carol: "That's pretty much how the government operates... Tony's a pro at it. Never considered that'd it'd be useful in my personal life but here we are..."

Shinobi: "Starks excel at it. It's in their nature." He scrolled through his phone again when the AI reported it had accessed Hope's accounts.

Carol: "Maybe it's a side effect of having an ego large enough to have its own gravitational field...." she picked up her fork to stuff pancakes in her mouth.

Shinobi: "Most definitely. I should probably be offended on Hope's behalf, but she knows what she is."

Carol: "She does and she's proud of it," Carol agreed, "Those Stark genes are something."

Shinobi: "They are. Maybe Tony will manage to do something distracting while he's in Europe. Take the heat entirely off us for a while."

Carol: "That would be awesome.... maybe he'll hear about this and do something on purpose because we're getting more attention than him."

Shinobi: "That... I wouldn't put it past him. Maybe we can get that telepath with the blow up doll to do something, too."

Carol: "Beth? She'd totally be up for that." She decided to text her because there was no such thing as too many distractions in this situation. "God only knows what she'll come up with..."

Shinobi: "The more obnoxious the better." He sighed and tapped in a pithy Insta post in what he hoped was a good approximation of a Stark.

Carol: "Oh I told her it's a 911 she'll do something awesome," Carol nodded sagely, "Just imagine how much insanity you can cook up when you're in everyone's heads all the time."

Shinobi: "I'd rather not. It's enough to have Hope in there sometimes." He laughed a little and shook his head. "Do you want to come with me to check on the folks?"

Carol: "Well I don't think I should be left here on my own..." she looked around for signs of Chewie, "I guess the not-cat will invite herself if she thinks I need supervising..."

Shinobi: "If the not-cat misses the bus she can make her own way there, so long as she doesn't eat the guinea pigs." He took another bite. "Let's enjoy our pancakes and then go, 'kay?"

Carol: Carol looked down at herself, "I should change into clothes that aren't covered in coffee first." She picked up her coffee 2.0 to finish it off, "And at least leave some food for Chewie in case those guinea pigs give her ideas on an empty stomach."

Shinobi: Making a face, Obi ordered the AI to get some cat food delivered, stat. "Mom would kill us both, you know."

Carol: "Nah, she'd just tickle me a little with that really nice electricity power she has..." She idly wondered what an alien teleporting cat-thing would do if its life was threatened by an angry mom. Probably teleport the fuck away. "You'd be screwed."

Shinobi: "Yeah that electricity power stings like hell," he said, making a face. "You and dad are both psychos."

Carol: She laughed, "I absorb energy. I don't know how to describe to you what that feels like." She finished off her pancakes and got to her feet, gathering up her phone and tablet.

Shinobi: "Psycho, apparently." He laughed and shoveled in the last of his pancake. Apparently he wasn't going to the office today. Oh darn.

Carol: "Maybe one day we'll get a telepath to transfer the feeling over so you get it," she suggested with a grin, "It'll be fun for me."

Shinobi: "Yeah, for you." He made a face and got up with his plate. "Okay. I guess we can both change and then we can sneak out the back and go console my parents. Or, be entertained by their panic."

Carol: "Heeeey don't knock it til you try it," she teased, "You might enjoy it too." She started down the hall to the stairs so she could change, "Appropriate consoling clothing. Gotcha." She wasn't sure she packed that. A fresh nerd shirt and jeans would have to do. "Back down in a few..."

[Esynthia]

Ohhh yellow journalism :lmao