12/20 Issue: Fuckity Dupe

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12/20 Issue: Fuckity Dupe

Post by Slarti » Mon Dec 21, 2020 12:53 am

Timelined a few days after Super Duper

Jean: Jean was sitting on the kitchen counter of her apartment, legs swinging, reading the back of a box of brownie mix. "I could add my special ingredient to this, y'know..."

Jamie: "Or you could just let brownies be brownies?" He walked over to her while stirring and pretended to glance at the box to distract her from the batter covered finger heading for her nose.

Jean: "I could, but where's the fun in that?" Jean sensed he was trying to act innocent, but she didn't see the finger until it had done its job. "Jamie!" Her eyes crossed at the blob on her nose.

Jamie: Jamie gave her a big grin and licked his finger. "Yeeees?" He walked to the other side of the small kitchen before she could retaliate, going back to stirring the mixture.

Jean: Jean attempted to lick the batter off her nose, and if she managed to accomplish this, she really doubted they'd get the brownies finished.

Jamie: His grin turned slightly mischievous as he watched her try to lick the batter. "There's other things you could be doing with your tongue that would get better results than that, babe."

Jean: At that, she poked said tongue out at him and gave up, swiping the batter off with her finger and popping it into her mouth. She was just getting into the show of licking the hell out of that finger when her phone buzzed on the counter.

Jamie: Jamie's head tilted as he watched her finger, the stirring slowing. He set the bowl on top of her phone just as it buzzed and it knocked him out of his trance. "Gah!" Vibrating bowls feel weird! He moved the bowl and picked up her phone to hand to her. "Talk about mood killer."

Jean: "That means it's probably my mom," she giggled, taking the phone and grabbing a napkin to wipe off her nose as she looked at the screen. "Oh. Wow!" Jean answered the phone, feet swinging again. "Goth queen! What's up?!"

Cassie: "Heeey!" Cassie had flopped back on her bed while waiting for Jean to pick up, her friend's voice bringing a grin on her pale face. "Figured it's about time I let you know I'm still alive. Well, you know, kinda." She shrugged, casting a glance at the muted TV. "So, how have you been?"

Jean: "Still undead," she laughed, floating the napkin to the trash can. "Yeah, I was just thinking about you and Jack, with the X-Men stuff happening..." Jean grinned at Jamie, still stirring the brownie batter. "I'm good. Like, really good. How are you guys?"

Jamie: Jamie smiled at Jean and shook his head. The bordello... Yikes. He turned around in time to see Duparo trying to sneak in for a lick of the batter. "Shush. Mommy's on the phone. Go 'way."

Cassie: "Jack and I are doing great," Cassie replied. "We saw you guys on the news parading in front of the White House, looking all dashing in your uniforms. Did you get to grope the President?"

Jean: "Good!" She watched Jamie with his kitty, and knew to expect cat hair in the brownies. "Right?! That was crazy! I didn't grope the president, but y'know who totally did? Him and Rogue are, like, a thing!"

Jamie: Jamie frowned at the cat and held the bowl faaar away. But leaned over to give him a kiss. "Go 'way," he repeated. "Go play with your brother or something."

Cassie: "No shit?" Cassie raised her eyebrows, sounding about as surprised as she looked. "Wow, no wonder you guys got such a sweet gig. Though I can't say blowing a fluffy club owner didn't pay off in the end as well." She paused. "Speaking of, you and that cute face still a thing?"

Jean: "Yeah, I don't know if that had anything to do with it, or if it was all Professor Xavier. He's walking. Did you see that?! He's like... a real person now!" Jean glanced over at Jamie, her mind flitting who she'd been with the last time she talked to Cassie. Redd? Maybe? "Well, she's my assistant at the store..."

Jamie: Jamie glanced up from trying to save the batter from the cat. Redd? That was a random change in topics. He looked back in time to see a white paw withdraw from the batter. "Gah! Cat!" Don't yell! He winced and whispered, "I mean, gah! cat!"

Cassie: "Really now? I really need to stop by to pay you guys a visit then." Cassie rolled over on her bed, lying on her stomach so she could look at the TV screen. "I know I'm a bad friend and should have called sooner. We've so much catching up to do. Like, did you know one of your exes turned to acting?"

Jean: "Definitely," she giggled, watching Jamie fight with Dupero. "She'd be happy to see you, too, I'm sure." Since Jean wasn't fucking her anymore. Cassie got Jean's wandering attention back with that. "Huhwha?" Well this was too much of a coincidence... but, she supposed one of her other dalliances could have... "Who?"

Cassie: "Yeah, whatshisface... Multiboy?" Cassie grabbed the nearby remote to check the program info. "Jamie."

Jean: "Noooo." She was looking at Jamie! The real one! "He's using that name?"

Cassie: "Uh, not sure, but I'm pretty sure that's him," Cassie replied, trying to find the credits. "I remember his face because I spent a lot of time wondering if he ever had like a one-person orgy with someone. Wait, let me text you the title. Think you're gonna love this show. It's so awful I love it."

Jamie: Now he turned slowly to look at Jean, very confused, and somewhat scared. "Who's using what name?"

Jean: Jean couldn't help but laugh at that thought. "No, he would not be into that..." Although who knew what he'd been up to before they found each other again. Focus. Right. Your name, she sent Jamie, eyes wide. Jean floated down from the counter and started for the living room to turn on her TV.

Jean: "Yeah, um... remember how you said bad friend because we haven't talked in a while? That goes for me too, 'cause I have news." She looked back at Jamie with a grin. "Me and Jamie are back together."

Jamie: "My name?!" Inside voice, Madrox. Jamie shoved the batter in the fridge to keep it safe from the cats and followed Jean into the living room, super confused. "Who's using my name?"

Cassie: Cassie's eyebrows arched upwards again, but this time she both looked and sounded genuinely surprised. "What, really? Wow. Good for you." She chuckled. "So you guys aim to be the next celebrity power couple, huh?"

Jean: "Thanks!" Jean received the text with the name of the show and picked up her own remote to search for it on demand. "It's not him though. I mean, it's probably him, but it's gotta be a dupe." She eyed the very confused Jamie beside her. "'Cause I've got the real one right here." My mom isn't crazy! Well, she was, but not about this, apparently.

Cassie: "Wait, your boyfriend doesn't know?" Cassie wondered out loud. "Do his dupes often sneak off to live their own lives?"

Jamie: Ohhh noooo. Jamie sat down hard on the couch and looked over at the remote with almost pleading eyes. It couldn't be real, could it? Rogue dupe? Really?

Jean: "Not that I know of? He doesn't look happy right now, so I'm guessing it's not common." Jean flopped down beside him, still searching with the remote. She put the phone on speaker and balanced it on his knee. "Say hi to Jamie, Cassie! I put you on speaker."

Jamie: "Hi, Cassie! I'm sorry you had to witness me being ...me? But not me?" This was more confusing when he was frustrated.

Cassie: "Hi, Jamie!" Cassie called back. "Sorry to hear about one of your boys getting loose." She was quiet for a moment. "I guess I can call again if you guys need a moment to talk about your issue."

Jean: Jean made a noise of triumph when she found the show and turned on the episode Cassie found. "Got it!" She sat back and gave Jamie a contemplative look. "Might be good if he doesn't think about it too much yet..." Jean rested her head on his shoulder. "So what do you think of the X-Men thing, Cass? You and Jack could always sign up..."

Cassie: Cassie put her phone on speaker as well so she wouldn't have to keep holding it, resting her chin on her folded hands right next to it on the bed. "Oh, I'm not even going to pretend I'm not tempted," she answered. "I mean, my show can be pretty exiting, but I'm afraid not quite superhero-level exciting."

Jamie: "He's not loose... He's just... gone off the reservation." Jamie watched in horror as he smarmed on the screen. He couldn't watch this. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "He was supposed to just be a PA on set. Not in front of the camera. And not even for this show!" How far reaching was his absorption? Could he absorb from Boston to Vancouver?

Jean: "Yeah, I'm going to see how it goes and if the superhero level of exciting is something I want to deal with on the reg." Jean had no problems watching. Her boyfriend was hot, after all, and seeing him on TV? She giggled when the dupe dramatically kissed a dumb looking blonde. Oh, there went his shirt! "Well, there's a lot of him on camera now!"

Jean: "Is he... always like this on this show?" Jean couldn't stop giggling as she asked Cassie. She might have a new favorite!

Jamie: Jamie peeked at Jean's giggling and immediately groaned and let himself fall backwards to the back of the couch.

Cassie: "I have no idea," Cassie replied with a chuckle, watching along on her own TV. "It's the first time I'm seeing this. Zapped through this by accident and couldn't help notice his face looked familiar." She cringed at the acting happening on screen. "Are you sure you really want this one back?"

Jamie: "If only to stop this horrible, awful, very bad day? Yes."

Jean: "Oh, it's familiar alright... and I've seen that face, too!" The dupe's expressions were priceless. Jean rescued her phone before it fell from his lap and set it on the sofa cushion, patting his knee. "But look at how happy he is! He's living his best dupe life!"

Cassie: "I'm not sure about that," Cassie commented, a frown on her face while she eyed the Jamie on screen. "I mean, he's missing out on you, so can it really be his best life?"

Jamie: Jamie looked over at the phone, "Are you trying to steal her from me, Cassie? It won't work! She likes what I have too much! Muahahahaha!"

Jean: Jean smiled, but her mind was on the dupe from the bar. What if he was right?

Cassie: "Oh, don't worry, I'd never do such a thing," Cassie promised, once more rolling over on her bed in her quest for maximum comfort. "At most I'd borrow her for a bit."

Jean: That made Jean laugh a little. "Return only slightly used?"

Jamie: Jamie blinked at the phone and then at Jean. "Savages. Both of you. First you ogle me on the television and now you talk about giving me sloppy seconds."

Cassie: "Only slightly?" Cassie gave a soft chuckle. "As if I wouldn't make the most of it. And not to be intentionally cruel to you, Jamie, but I'm afraid you might be too late for seconds."

Jamie: He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it and gave Jean a look. Then he opened it again, "Maybe this time around."

Jean: Jean felt her face go red enough to match her hair and gave Jamie a look back, nose scrunched. "It was a long four years?"

Cassie: "Oops?" Cassie asked, glad to be out of reach of Jean's powers. "Should I have kept my mouth shut? I can give you like five minutes to talk it out in private, if you guys like. Or would two be enough?"

Jamie: "I'm surprised you never got around to me, Cassie," he grinned at Jean. "I bet my number could rival hers now."

Cassie: "Really now?" Cassie asked. "Weird, I figured I must have just forgot. Or was it a dupe? I really don't remember." She paused just long enough to grin to herself. "Either way, I'm sorry you missed out, but we could make an appointment if you'd like me to make up for it?"

Jean: "Especially if we add the ass from the bar..." she mumbled. Jean choked and laughed aloud at Cassie. "Can we get a two for one special?"

Jamie: It was Jamie's turn to choke as he gave Jean huge eyes. "Sorry, Cass, you missed out. I'm a one woman man again."

Cassie: "Aw well, that's too bad." Cassie chuckled. "Sorry, Jean, guess we'll just have to think of something else for our reunion. Because we absolutely must hang out again."

Jean: "Awwwww," she mock pouted, but leaned into Jamie and slid her arms around him. "We should come visit you! Give Jack some pets." He was the only guy she could tolerate for a while after Jamie, after all.

Jamie: "Or, while you're doing that, I can take my ass up to Canada and get rid of the dupe who decided to change his mission from the one I gave him to one of being a piece of meat for a trashy daytime TV show."

Cassie: "Oh yeah, Jack would love that. And we have a big enough bed. For you and Jamie in the guest room, I mean." She raised her eyebrows in response to Jamie's comment. "Ooh, will we need to hide a body?"

Jamie: "No? Since he'll be sucked back into me?"

Jean: Jean looked back up at the screen and the bad sex scene was over, but he still had his shirt off. Nice. "I think he changed his mission statement to looking hot on TV instead," she giggled. "I can respect that."

Cassie: "It's an important aspiration," Cassie agreed, having her head tilted back so she could peek at the screen. "So, yeah, I can get Jack to leave the paperwork to someone else, and then all of us can hang out and catch up. I could even pick you guys up, if you don't mind traveling via a strange dimension of eldritch darkness."

Jamie: Jamie gave Jean wide eyes again and mouthed 'Eldritch darkness?' then looked back at the phone.

Jean: That's Cassie for teleport, babe, she said, giving him a kiss because the big eyes were adorable. "We were just making brownies, and that's not a euphemism. Soooo, give us, like, an hour?" She looked at him questioningly, turning on her own big sad green eyes.

Jamie: Ugh. Mean trick. He rolled his eyes in an over-exaggerated fashion. "Fiiine."

Cassie: "Sure, gives me time to condition Jack's fur and give him a thorough brushing," Cassie replied, a grin on her face. "See you in about an hour then. Keep a light out for me."

Jean: Jean bounced a little in excitement. "Nice and shiny! Give him a hello huggle from meee," she giggled. "See you in an hour, goth bitch!"

Jamie: Jamie grumbled and reached for the remote. Turning this crap off now. He couldn't believe himself! What would make him decide to do something like that? He better have a damn good paycheck.

Jean: "Heeeey," Jean protested, as soon as she ended her call with Cassie. "We should watch it! For... science!"

Jamie: "...you know what I look like naked. We don't need to watch me do it on daytime television..." He grimaced. "Do we?"

Jean: Jean popped out her lower lip as her eyes slid to the screen. The dupe wasn't in the scene now playing out with equally terrible acting, but the point stood.

Jamie: "Jeannie," he whined. "Whyyy?"

Jean: "Whyyy nooot?" Jean gave him a little wriggle since she was still half draped over him. "I'm totes gonna DVR it when you leave anyway," she added with a bright grin.

Jamie: Jamie's eyes got big again. "What?! Why?!"

Jean: "Oh, come on... aren't you just a little curious what he's been up to?" Jean flopped down with her head in his lap and made herself comfortable. "Wonder if this one hates me, too."

Jamie: "Babe, none of me hates you. There's a part that's just still super hurt and angry, obviously, that's all." He brushed her hair off her face and gave her a smile. "And no. No I'm not. Because I'll know it all from a first person perspective as soon as I reabsorb that one."

Jean: "Well, yeah, but you haven't absorbed him yet, soooo you don't?" Jean caught his hand and gave it a kiss. "Yeah, and there's a part of me that will never forgive myself for what I did to you, but it's not out walking around doing shots with bar skanks."

Jamie: "Right, but I still wouldn't because that dupe's percentage of me is so small it doesn't matter." Jamie brushed his fingertip over her nose. "We talked about this, babe. Don't worry about it, okay? When I reabsorb that one, it won't affect the overall me. I'll just be able to make a killer cocktail."

Jean: She sighed, nipping at his finger. "I know, rationally, but..." Jean scrunched her face and kept his hand in hers. "The drink was good, even if Carol thought he was gonna spit in it." She bet he'd pick up a few other things from him, too, but thankfully no sexually transmitted diseases.

Jamie: "See? And then I can make it for you whenever you want. No bar jerks needed. Just me... you... alcohol... privacy..." Jamie grinned and leaned over to give her a lingering kiss.

Jean: "That does sound like a good time," she agreed, returning the kiss, then grinning up at him. "So, are you really gonna make a special trip up there to get As the World Turns Jamie back?"

Jamie: "Hell yes I am. Obviously he's done with what I wanted him to do for us, so time to come home." He shuddered. "And not be on the TV shirtless...."

Jean: "Need a sidekick? A hot one?" She batted her lashes at him, turning her head to look at the TV again. Yay, he was back! Shirt on this time. Sad. Still, she liked his hair like that. Jean looked from the screen to him, then back, then once more. She smirked up at him.

Jamie: Jamie wasn't sure he liked that look in her eyes, "Whaaat?" He looked up to the television and groaned again, letting his head fall back to hit the back of the couch. "Why do I do this to myself?"

Jean: "Well, you'd have to ask him that." Jean sat up and climbed into his lap, then promptly started to fluff and sweep back his hair to see how it worked on the real deal.

Jamie: "Jean... Jean, what.. Why? C'mon, I'm not on TV. I don't need my hair fluffed."

Jean: "I'm just checking it out," she giggled. "Works for him, it should work for you!"

Jamie: "In theory... But it also has to look good on camera, which means it may look weird in person." He looked up with his eyes, trying to see what she was doing. "If I promise to let you style my hair, can we forget about the fact that I've been mostly naked on TV?"

Jean: "We may not be able to forget, since apparently my mom has seen you mostly naked on TV," she observed, pausing in playing with his hair to give him a significant look.

Jamie: "Oh nooo," he groaned and let his head fall forward into his hands, not even caring if he messed up her careful creation. "Now I definitely can never meet them."

Jean: She didn't even care that her work flopped forward over his hands. "You have to meet them eventually..."

Jamie: "Do I?" He knew his voice had gone up an octave, but didn't care. Her mom had seen him mostly naked! That was beyond awkward!

Jean: "Yeees," she frowned. Jean started petting his hair again, but this time not to fluff it. She scratched her nails over his scalp and kissed the crown of his head. I can explain that it wasn't you-you.

Jamie: Jamie lifted his head to peek at her with one skeptical eye. "How? You don't understand it any more than most people. And even though I understand it, I never explain it right..."

Jean: Well that was borderline offensive. Her eyebrows went up. "I don't?"

Jamie: Whoops. "Well, you do, but you don't. It's like... because... when..." Crap. Jamie stared at her for a minute and then tried again, "You've said you don't?"

Jean: Jean pressed her lips together as she felt him internally facepalm. Amusement warred with annoyance, but the annoyance was strong. "It is confusing, but I know you can't control them once they're off on their own."

Jean: "You didn't even realize you could talk to them telepathically until like two weeks ago, babe," she pointed out. "You might even have range on it, but you'd have to get a dupe to cooperate to test it out."

Jamie: "Right, but they're still me. Which is what makes it weird that your mom has seen him mostly naked. Because he is me. So, she's seen me mostly naked." He wrinkled his nose. "They have minds of their own, but their minds are my mind. They're like ... like my decisions come to life. So it's hard to steer them off the decision they make because that's really all they are."

Jean: Jean cocked her head. That actually made more sense than any other time he'd tried to explain it to her. "Okay, so technically she's seen you on TV, but it's almost like... mind control? But not. Because it's you, but you-you weren't piloting that ship at the time."

Jean: Fuck me, his powers were confusing, and she'd spent more time in his head than anyone but him. Jean finally just gave him an elaborate shrug. "You still don't get out of meeting my parents."

Jamie: "Okay, but if your mom makes sexy eyes at me, I'm running so fast that Usain Bolt won't even be able to keep up." He held a hand down to her, "Deal?"

Jean: Jean laughed and took his hand for a firm shake. "Deal, but if she does that, I'd mindwipe her, 'cause you're my man." She let go and slid her arms around his neck to whisper in his ear. "So, when are we going to go fetch your naked dupe?"

Jamie: "Well, we can't do it now, even though I want to... So, as soon as you're done petting the oversized bunny." He nuzzled her neck and gave it a featherlight kiss. "Unless you want to cancel? Then we can go now?"

Jean: "I love Cassie and Jack," she pouted. "Haven't seen them in forever. So, let's finish the brownies and we can take them some and then we can go after him." Jean looked at the TV again and giggled. "Still gonna set the DVR."

Jamie: "You love to torture me, don't you, Jeannie?" He gave her neck an obnoxiously loud kiss, then slipped an arm under her knees and stood, carrying her back to the kitchen. "Brownies is a welcome distraction. Fuckity dupe."

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