9/2 Issue: Fluffing the President

[Svartfreja]

Timelined for after the politics party and Rogue's barfing with Bobby.

<Beth> Beth was playing fashion show and also doing her teke homework at the same time. Multitasking! Sure, it'd probably be going a lot better if she hadn't had that gummy with her breakfast but what was a few busted couches between friends? She had taken over the rec room because it was easier to spread out her buddy's wardrobe in there and the outfit options for the day were on a meandering orbit around his majestic inflatable body.

<Tony> His meeting with Carol wasn't for another half hour, so Tony had some time to kill when his limo pulled up outside the X-Men's very creepy headquarters. Maybe he should advocate to build them a new compound? It was something to ponder after he was out of office.

<Beth> Beth was, unusually, oblivious to Tony's arrival because she was focused entirely on her model and his wardrobe. Hmm... maybe the blue one... short list! Oh short list may be one too many things to think about... her model made an alarming sound as his head filled with too much air, being uncomfortably (if he had nerves) squeezed by her teke. She rubbed her forehead as she redistributed her attention to level that out. There.

<Tony> Tony gave the secret service man who opened his door a winning smile and then waved at Heather who was circling above. He trotted up the steps and flung open the door. "Honey, I'm home!"

<Beth> Beth made a sound somewhere between pteradactyl and startled cat before the recroom exploded with suits and bits of furniture. "Shit!" Was her buddy okay?! She dug through cushion fluff to find him.

<Tony> "Whoa!" Tony's emergency repulsors slid into place with a flick of his wrists and he aimed in the direction of the ...dinosaur? in the rec room? Slowly, he edged toward that room, hearing a muffled curse from the sofa's remains. "Hello?"

<Beth> He was still alive! She really didn't want to think about where a possible puncture might have happened in the worst case scenario of a deflation. The voice attracted her attention and she burrowed back out of her pile of fluff. Oh. She hid the very-not-appropriately-dressed-for-a-visitor buddy back in the heap of sofa with the best innocent look she could muster and also a grin, "I didn't do it."

<Tony> "Nooooo, clearly not. That wasn't you that screamed a scream I have never heard the likes of before and then exploded this entire room." He retracted the repulsors and straightened up, his eyes going immediately to his doppelganger in the remains of the sofa.

<Beth> "Jean said I should do teke training in the house otherwise I won't try as hard...."

<Tony> "Won't try as hard to destroy the furniture?" He laughed and walked into the room, nudging the sofa pile with a toe.

<Beth> "The opposite... destroying things is disturbingly easy. Picking up the small delicate things not so much..." she wrinkled her nose, mentally adding a few more thousands to the total in her head. Today was expensive. Now. Where was that blue suit? She looked around and spotted the pants on a picture frame. That'd make him decent! She climbed up the mantle to get them down.

<Tony> Tony watched the girl scramble up the wall like a feral cat and blinked. That was... impressive. While she was occupied he waded into the mess and picked up his inflatable version, giving it a good once over. "I approve of the goatee. Nice, sharp lines."

<Beth> She laughed, jumping back down into the mess, "I tidied it up. The drunk douchebags weren't big on presentation... also he got a bath because God only knows what they did with him before I saved him and gave him a job."

<Tony> "Well, thank heavens for that. My twin deserves only the best." He held it up next to him and grinned.

<Beth> "He does get the best!" Beth assured him, "He even went to a tailor... may have scarred the tailor." She got to work on giving Tony's inflatable doppelganger his dignity back in the form of pants.

<Tony> Tony laughed and reached out to bonk his twinsie's manhood. "I can imagine. It's gotta be a bitch to get the trouser lines right with that baby."

<Beth> "I tried duct tape but if you stick it down he likes to fold in the middle..." She hoisted the pants up, "I'm brainstorming other options..."

<Tony> He winced in sympathy at the talk of duct tape. "I wonder if drag queens have that problem too." He was enjoying watching her struggle the dummy into designer pants.

<Beth> "I've never met a drag queen but if I do I'll ask..." she managed to stuff him into his pants and zipped him up. "Now... where is the rest of that suit...?" More importantly, where was Jean when you needed a telekinetic with actual finesse. Jeeeeean I blew up the rec room!

<Jean> Miles away at her dispensary, bickering with Redd about the layout of a new display, Jean shot upright and nearly dropped her cold brew. Well what did you do that for?!

<Tony> "You've never met a drag queen? You should get on that. Never met a boring one." He grinned and looked around at the mess. "Finding it might be a challenge."

<Beth> I didn't do it on purpose! A Stark startled me! "Yeeeeah..." she frowned, "I need coffee for this mess..." she picked up the half dressed inflatable not-President and propped him up against the door frame, "You stay here. Be good." She patted him on the head, turning to look at the not-inflatable fully dressed President, "Coffee? Snacks? Alcho-booze? Totally awesome gummies?"

<Tony> "Oooooh gummies? I shouldn't." Oh but how he wanted to. He laughed at the pat to his inflatable head.

<Jean> Which one?! Is the missing one back?! Of course there was a fetal one now too, but surely Beth hadn't been startled by a fetus.

<Beth> The President one! I offered him gummies... is that legal? "I probably shouldn't either," she admitted, "But I already don't drink so I think it would be mean to me to not let me have any mind altering substances."

<Jean> Sure it is! He legalized it! Duh! She wondered if Beth knew about the fetal one and filed that thought away for later.

<Tony> "Does that particular mind-altering substance make you more or less likely to blow things up?"

<Beth> Beth considered that one as she stepped out into the hallway, "No idea... it's always really easy for me to do that, like I said... fine control is the tricky part so I think being relaxed might help there... or maybe I need to be hyper focused... The Brain says I should be on ritalin..." She gave Tony a winning smile.

<Tony> "I think we might both need a little relaxation after that," he said, gesturing toward the mess as he moved to follow her.

<Beth> Beth fished her baggie out of her pocket and offered the tasty contents to Tony. Totally not drugging the President right now. Not me. Never. "Want coffee with your gummy to confuse your brain?"

<Tony> "Absolutely I do. I like to keep my brain off balance." He gave her a wink and reached into the baggie to get a couple of gummies for himself.

<Jean> OMG! Tell him where you got your goods! Do you know what his endorsement would do for me?!

<Beth> "Be careful with those," Beth advised, "Jean stocks the really good stuff and my tolerance has had practise." I gotchuuuuu! She led him to the kitchen and grabbed some mugs on the way to the espresso machine.

<Tony> "Oh, well, I'm glad to help the local economy." He popped one into his mouth and trailed after her.

<Jean> I love you! Jean had given up on following two conversations and was telling Redd all about the high president now.

<Beth> "How do you like your coffee?" Beth glanced at him as she measured out the grounds and leveled them off. "Or are you going to hit the stereotype and say 'with scotch in it'?"

<Tony> "I prefer to think of it as a dependable personality trait instead of a stereotype."

<Beth> "Does that mean that's what you want in your coffee or are you stalling while you consider the wonderous options of syrupy goodness?" Beth gestured to the collection of syrups on offer then jabbed the button for some fresh espresso to adulterise.

<Tony> "I'm happy to see my generous funding is going to such good use," he laughed at the syrups. "Is the bar just as well stocked?"

<Beth> "Probably... I don't drink so I don't really check... and it depends if our resident klepto teleporter has swung by..." She did a quick telepathic sweep, "No, we're good. He's still enjoying all the donated booze stash from Carol."

<Tony> "Klepto teleporter..." He decided it was best he didn't know and waved a hand. "Just show me the way to the liquor cabinet and I'll make myself at home."

<Beth> Beth waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the cabinet and fired the location at his brain as she busied herself with topping off his coffee with water so he could do whatever unholy things he wanted to it and modified her own with the appropriate amount of sugar.

<Tony> Oh, that was... Well, hello, he responded to the brain prodding. Haven't felt that since the last time I had lunch with my daughter. And he hadn't really missed it since a sudden brain in his always made him jump. He went for the cabinet and started surveying the selection.

<Beth> Beth's butterfly aura lit up again as she replied, It's easier to show people than use words sometimes... all the time. Coffee was doooooone. Mmmmm syrupy good.

<Tony> Tony selected a decent scotch and went back to his cup to add a generous splash of the amber liquid of life to his coffee. "Easier for you, but you're lucky I'm not worried about you going digging for nuclear codes or something."

<Beth> She laughed, "I'd dig for the secrets about aliens but I already know they exist so that would be pointless..." she carefully sipped her coffee, "I also don't want to get in trouble so... I can behave. But only because it's you. No one else gets that kind of security."

<Tony> "I feel honored, and special and specially honored," he laughed, taking a drink.

<Beth> "As you should," she grinned, making a move back toward the destroyed rec room with her coffee to start cleaning up the fluffy mess. "I can't help myself... I'm nosey. It's a character flaw."

<Tony> "A lot of people suffer from that flaw, but most people can't do as much about it as you can." He meandered back to the rec room and took up a position near his twin.

<Beth> "Most people that can do what I can do about it don't do that either. They keep telling me it's bad manners... 'specially Xavier. But like... if I ask people they'll freak out and then I have to deal with that and I don't want to... so it's just easier to skip that part. I don't like the parts where people get all cranky at me."

<Tony> Tony just laughed at that torrent of words. "What made you decide to rescue Mister Me here?" He slid his arm around the doll's shoulders.

<Beth> "I thought that I could better utilise his magnificence than the idiots at the rally," she tossed him a grin as she found a safe place to set her coffee down. "Nailed it," she added, in confirmation of her skills.

<Tony> "Oh you definitely did nail it," he said, looking at his twin. "In fact..." Tony extricated himself from the doll and set his coffee down, shrugging off his own suit jacket.

<Beth> Beth was busy concentrating on the fluff removal so she didn't notice that the President was stripping. Probably just as well or Jean would have gotten something unintelligable.

<Tony> He struggled with the doll a little to get the jacket on it, then made a pleased noise and picked his coffee back up. "Problem solved."

<Beth> "Huh?" Beth turned around to see what he was talking about and Jean did in fact get a series of random noises with the psychic impression of wild flailing. "If you want that back you'll have to fight me for it."

<Tony> "It's hardly worth it without the matching pants," he said, sliding his arm back around his buddy. "Now, let's blow up the 'gram."

<Beth> More random sounds for Jean as Beth pulled out her phone. She was not going to question this magical opportunity. "Say X-Men!"

[Esynthia]

This was delightful. I laughed almost the entire way through. Good job, guys